(Demented Chapter Number Five)
After Dudley's poorly-made dinner of stringy scalding mozzarella sticks and stale popcorn, he let out a loud burp and, upon entering his own room, realised,
"Mum's dead."
Of course, this is Dudley we're talking about; so this news made him glad, for now he could eat whatever he desired. So, he took advantage of this.
"Yum..." he picked up a pillow and started gnawing at it furiously. But, alas! He stuffed too much in his mouth, and soon fell over.
Yes, my friends, Dudley was dead.