Standard disclaimer applies.
Chapter 3: Regrets and Forgiveness
She carefully approached the couple underneath the sakura tree. A giggling redheaded boy, about four years of age, sat on the woman's lap. It was a scene of happiness; something she has not felt ever since her departure to Aizu.
She thought leaving Tokyo would bring her peace and contentment. She believed going back to Aizu bring her salvation from all the tragedy she had witnessed. There was also this hope that someone survived the terrible fire. Many claimed bodies of her mother or two brothers were never found. Reports even claimed one of his brothers was not even inside the house at the time. Her brother might still be alive. But five years of hoping, of wishing, still nothing.
All were just hopes. Takani Megumi tried hard to eradicate the thought nudging in her mind. Did she waste five years clinging to a hope that would never really come? Yes, she was able to continue the excellent reputation of the Takani doctors of Aizu. She was able to establish a name for herself as a respectable female doctor. But, was it worth it?
"Megumi-san! Over here!" the cheerful voice of Himura Kaoru called out to her.
Megumi suppressed herself from commenting on Kaoru's appearance. It has been almost two years since she last seen the girl, the last time she visited Tokyo. Kaoru has definitely transformed herself from the tomboyish girl Megumi has first met, into a lovely wife and mother. She also noticed the diminishing scar on Himura Kenshin's right cheek. Ah, Ken-san is truly happy and at peace now. "Hmm. Where is everyone?"
"Misao-chan and the others will soon be arriving. Yahiko will be here after his training," Kaoru supplied the answer.
Megumi smiled. "Good afternoon Ken-san. How are you feeling?"
There was no need for an answer for the smile on Kenshin's face was enough. "Sessha is feeling pretty good Megumi-dono, de gozaru."
"Indeed it seems, Ken-san. And who might be this lovely young man giggling on his mother's lap?" she squatted to stare at the four-year old son of Kaoru and Kenshin. She tickled Kenji's chin.
"Kenji-chan, say hello to Aunt Megumi," Kaoru said. Kenji responded by softly touching Megumi's cheek.
"Such a lovely kid."
Megumi settled herself on the blanket next to Kaoru and took Kenji, who obligingly came to her. She was about to inquire the couple of any health concerns when an energetic voice filled the air along with a monotone response. It was no mistake that Makimachi Misao and Shinomori Aoshi had arrived.
The tiny form of Misao finally emerged. Megumi was surprised at how matured the young girl – woman actually, has become. Misao was dressed in a Kyoto school uniform of pink kimono and red hakama with matching western boots adoring her feet. There was an added grace to the way Misao was walking, not her old carefree strut. Yet, she was still the same Misao-chan Megumi has known.
Misao greeted them in her always spunky tone and lively attitude. It was a refreshing change to Megumi's gloomy mood despite the smile pasted on her face. Behind Misao stood Aoshi in a western suit and his famous trench coat. He gave a slight nod to all as a form of greeting. Megumi often wondered what went through the man's brain. He was obviously a man of mystery, not even her sly, cunning perception can decipher.
Her attention was shifted to Kenji who seemed to be pining for Misao's attention. It seemed the child was very familiar of the ninja girl.
"Hello, Megumi-san. Hello, chibi Kenshin!" Misao greeted as she sat next to Megumi. Aoshi and Kenshin were on the other side, discussing something in low tones. Right away, Kenji reached for his Misao-neesan. There was a tight knot of envy forming in Megumi's chest as the child wriggled away from her grasp. The moment Kenji was in Misao's arms, the child squealed in delight. Megumi could not help feel envious of the relationship between the child and Misao. I should have that kind of relationship with Kenji-chan if I never left Tokyo.
"Sorry if we're late, Kaoru-san. We arrived here by train early this morning but Aoshi-sama met some business associates regarding the textile business we plan to open here in Tokyo," Misao explained. "If all goes well, we'll be frequenting here in Tokyo and I might even attend school here, isn't that right Aoshi-sama?"
"Aa," was the simple answer.
"Then, I'd get to see chibi Kenshin more instead of monthly visits, ne?" Misao tickled Kenji, which prompted an eruption of laughter from the child.
"You promise, Misao-neechan? I always see you now?"
"Hai, chibi Kenshin."
"Also, Aoshi-niichan teach me to make more paper birdies?" the four-year-old turned to Aoshi.
"Aa, Himura-chan. I will teach you to make them."
Kenji jumped up from Misao's lap, stood in front of Aoshi and bowed to him. " 'Rigatou, Aoshi-niichan."
Megumi was beyond surprise at all that had transpired. Monthly visits to Kyoto? It explained Kenji's apparent closeness to Misao and his reference to Aoshi as his oniichan. The more she watched the scene unfolding, the more she regretted leaving Tokyo and her friends behind.
"What about you, Megumi-san? What have you been doing all these years? I can't believe I have not seen you in five years!" Misao turned her attention to the doctor. Megumi was not sure what to tell Misao. Other than similar tasks she performed as a doctor in Tokyo, there was really nothing different what she has done in the past five years in Aizu. Good thing before she could answer, Yahiko arrived with Tsubame in tow.
Kaoru and Misao began teasing him about bringing Tsubame along. Megumi was just staring at how grown up Yahiko has become since her last visit in Tokyo two years ago. The kid was already as tall as Kenshin with hair that seemed to imitate an ex-fighter's coiffure.
"I nearly forgot. I have a letter here from rooster-head. I found it before I left the dojo," he waved it around for everyone to see. Everyone – well, excluding Aoshi – gushed in surprise and excitement.
"Where's that idiot been?" Megumi remarked with a foxy smirk.
"Open it. Open it," squealed Misao. Kenji chimed after her. Megumi noticed Kenji liked to imitate everything Misao said or did.
"Kenshin read it!" Kaoru demanded.
"Oro." He carefully opened the letter and read its contents to everyone.
All the while Kenshin was reading the letter, Megumi could not help but observe Aoshi. She was merely curious about the man whom she shared a tragic past with. Yes he was her captor; but he had been good to her. He was never rude nor immoral towards her. She figured along time ago Shinomori Aoshi was an honourable man, a warrior forced to make a living in the Meiji era. A job as a bodyguard to was the only reasonable option. However, these were only theories Megumi had cooped up in her mind. Who knew what Shinomori Aoshi's real intent when he took the job of protecting Takeda.
He seemed recovered. Megumi wondered if Aoshi had forgiven her for what happened to his comrades. Megumi was not entirely responsible for the deaths of the four Oniwabanshuu, but she was connected to it. If she had not ran away, met Kenshin and the others, maybe, just maybe, the four Oniwaban would still be alive to this very day. Or, if she had simply refused to give in to the demands of Kanryuu's at the very beginning, none of the tragic circumstance would have happened.
But she feared for her life. She still wanted to live, continue to live with the hope that one day she would be reunited with a long-lost brother.
Megumi unintentionally sighed out loud, as if trying to ease a heavy burden. Yahiko misinterpreted Megumi's expulsion of breath.
"Yo Megumi! I guess you miss Sano that much huh?"
"Nani? What are you talking about, Yahiko?" She did not hear a single word Kenshin had read from the letter.
"Well, you are relieved to hear that Sano's coming back anytime soon, aren't you?"
So that was what the letter was all about. Hmm. "Well of course. Can't wait to hit him once again with my medicine box. He left without even a word you know." She rolled her eyes. Well, Sano did not even bother write to her or send word to her he was leaving. She only learned about it from what Kaoru had indicated in her letter. She was his friend, wasn't she? Why was she not made aware of it as soon as possible?
"Guess you still love the rooster-head, huh," Yahiko commented with nonchalance.
Megumi's eyes widened. Love the rooster-head? When did that happen? As far as she was concerned, her last 'love' was a cross-scarred rurouni who chose a tomboyish girl instead of her. She ignored Yahiko's comment and instead suggested to start eating lunch.
"Shinomori-san, would you care for a walk?" Megumi gathered up her courage. It was by luck that the two of them were left alone by the picnic blanket. Everybody seemed to have strayed off somewhere to play with Kenji.
Aoshi took a moment before responding his typical, "Aa." He stood up, offering a hand to Megumi to help her up.
The two walked in silence. Megumi made sure they were out of earshot. The matters she wanted to discuss with Aoshi were too private for others to hear.
"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Shinomori-san, but there is something I wanted to say to you," she peered at him through her long bangs. He remained passive as ever. "It seems I cannot move on to the future if this cannot be said." Aoshi waited for her to continue. "I sincerely apologize for everything that has happened in the past. The death of your friends…" her voice quavered.
Aoshi's shoulders went rigid. His eyes narrowed a bit. The death of his friends… It was still too painful. "Takani-san. You do not owe me an apology for something you have not caused. I do not recall you firing a single shot the night they died."
Megumi's paces halted. She stared down the ground, pained to talk about the past. "I know, yet I was-," Aoshi immediately cut her off.
"I am the one who owes you an apology, a forgiveness. Nothing I say will change the past, and for that I am sorry too." Megumi refused to look at him, afraid to be pierced with the coldest stare the ninja has to offer. Yet Aoshi gently lifted her chin so she could see the sincerity in his eyes.
The eyes they said were the windows to one's soul; and Megumi for the moment saw Aoshi's soul. He was still scarred, maybe something that could never fade like Kenshin's cross-shaped scar on his cheeks. But it does not mean it cannot slowly heal through time. Kenshin was continually healing. Aoshi was on his way. All he needed was someone, like Kenshin's Kaoru, to guide him to it. Misao seemed the logical answer to that. But for a brief moment, a sudden urge sprouted from Megumi. It was the urge that maybe, just maybe, she could be that person who could help him heal.
Megumi realized she had been gazing at his eyes for a whole minute. It felt like a lifetime, simply staring at deep blue eyes. She was drowning from the depths of what his eyes conveyed. Instinctively, she looked away. Her hair fell to her face, masking what emotions played on them. When she looked back at Aoshi, she wore her most common smile.
"Then Shinomori-san, if I'm forgiven, so are you."
"Aa."
Once again, they walked back to the picnic grounds in silence.
Aoshi was very much aware of the woman walking beside him. Takani Megumi had long been a mystery to him, a piece of delicate specimen that pricked his curiosity. He often wondered why she chose to submit to Takeda Kanryuu's demands. Yes, she could have chosen to disobey the businessman and got herself killed. Why would anyone choose to live after such an ordeal, only to be haunted by the ghost of the past day in, day out?
Was her choice similar to Aoshi's choice when he employed himself, along with his four comrades, under Takeda? Aoshi wanted to exist in an era where there was no future for him as a warrior; yet he still wanted to continue living. There was a false hope in him that things would go back to what it was. Maybe that was the same reason Megumi had when she submitted herself into making opium. She was hoping to relive her life just like she used to in Aizu.
As they came into view, Kenji ran to Megumi's side, handing her a handful of sakura flowers. Aoshi did not miss the look in the woman's eyes, as if Kenji's gesture was the best thing that happened in her life. Tears were welling in her eyes. Aoshi wondered if Megumi had been happy all these past five years.
"Aoshi-sama," Misao called to him. Her eyebrow was slightly raised as she digested the image of Aoshi and Megumi appearing together. "So that's where you and Megumi-san disappeared to, ne? Anyways… Kaoru-san and Himura were kind enough to offer their home for the night. I complained that I hated staying in an inn for the night."
"Misao, you reside in an inn," was his answer.
Misao giggled sheepishly. "I know that… But come on Aoshi-sama, I wanted to spend more time with Kenji. Himura said he doesn't mind, right Himura?" she turned to the redhead rurouni.
"Of course Misao-dono. Sessha will be very glad if you and Aoshi will spend the night at the dojo. You too Megumi-dono," Kenshin nodded.
Megumi smiled, wiped away the mistiness in her eyes. "Why of course Ken-san. That is if it's okay with Kaoru? After all, I'm her romantic rival," she nudged the younger woman who seemed to finally accept the taunting in Megumi's teasing.
"Well then it's all settled. The three of you are staying." Kaoru announced, looking at her son who was waiting for the answer. Kenji was excited knowing his Misao-neechan will be around for much longer.
Misao clapped her hands in delight. "chibi Kenshin and I will get to play more," she picked up the little child and tossed him in the air. Peals of laughter filled them. Aoshi often questioned if Misao was really in her early twenties.
He stepped forward to Kenshin and Kaoru. "Thank you for the offer. It is much appreciated. Misao and I have another business engagement this afternoon. Perhaps we could just meet you at the dojo this evening?"
"Ano, Aoshi-sama? Can I just stay? I don't think I'm really needed there. You can explain it to me afterwards," she suggested. Misao did look bored during the business transactions they had earlier.
"Very well. I take my leave," he bowed to them then turned to Megumi. "Takani-san." He gave her a slight nod and walked away.
"Take care Aoshi-sama. Don't get lost," Misao called out.
"Don't get lost Aoshi-niichan," Kenji repeated, resulting another peal of laughter from both Misao and Kenji. With that, Aoshi disappeared from view.