(Demented Chapter Number Nine)
Dudley was in utter panic. He had just been kissed! Not to mention he felt several hundred pounds lighter. He shouted at Ellen,
"Nobody touches me! Nobody!" he wiped his cheek- it was smooth! Why was it not porky and pimply? It dawned on him- "I must be alive." Then in anger, he declared,
"Nobody kisses me. Nobody! The last time I had a kiss, it was from my girlfriend back on Privet!"
Since this chapter was heading for total OOC-ness, (much like the rest of the story, might the author 'proudly' add), she decided to insert a random six-year old girl in the middle of it. Okay.
"HAHA! HAHA! Girlfriend? Kiss? As I recall, hun, it was something like me tying you to a park bench and smearing you with lipstick...HAHAHAHA!" Dudley screwed up his (skinnier) face, and, ignoring the fact that Dudley looks nothing like Draco, and therefore the girl wouldn't recognize him, and acknowledging the fact that the author enjoys typing run-on sentences... Dudley said with a shaky laugh,
"Errm...I don't know you...go away?" he finished pleadingly.
The six-year old looked upon him triumphantly and, pulling out a tube of lipstick and curl of rope smiled,
"Pucker up, hun!"