-Delicate Petals-
Oh! Here's the next chapter! Let's read it! Then review! (Cheap, yeah, I know.. but what the hey! n.n;)
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What a day! I can breathe and I feel just a little bit better.. not.
"Why me!?"
"Didn't you already ask that question?" Hiei asked as he walked into the room.
"Where have you been all day?" Botan asked, crossing her arms. It was early in the evening and he hadn't been here all day.
"I had my Rabies shot. Now, Kurama, when you decide to use your calendar, you can mark it in green." Hiei said sarcastically. I gave him a look and he returned it.
"You have serious issues." I mumbled. He ignored my comment and sat down at my desk.
"What do you suggest we do? It's Sunday and he's still not better." Botan said with a sigh. I would say she's the only one who really cares in this room. I know, however, that this illness will get to me before I get better.
"I told you. Atleast a week. I've only heard of a few cases that lasted a few days. For some of those that survived." He stated, twirling around in the chair. He had a bored look on his face.
"Is there something in Makai that could help? I wonder if Reikai has anything on file about this?" She wondered, looking toward Hiei.
"I wouldn't know." She snapped her fingers then looked down at me.
"I'm going to Reikai to see about this. You make sure to stay in bed." I sighed and watched her leave. What the hell was going on? Youko hadn't thought nor said anything in days. I'd almost say he went to sleep and was staying that way until the sickness ended.
"I don't want to stay in bed much longer. I might not be able to walk for days after this." I moved my cramped legs. "They're cramped and it doesn't feel good."
"Just go run a mile." Hiei said sarcastically. I looked over at him and smirked.
"I would but I'm not allowed." He snorted.
"Go do what you want. Keeping you here isn't going to cure your illness. They never found a cure for it, but they know that we all need fresh air. Thats something you haven't had in a while." He walked over to the window and opened it. I could detect various scents of familiar neighbors and hear the honking of horns.
"I haven't been able to breathe in a while. These scents I'm picking up are very faint and difficult to recognize, but I know them." He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. I breathed deeply. "Fresh air.." I collapsed back onto my pillow and smiled slightly. It was nice having a nice cool breeze blow in. I sneezed. Yippie.
"Too much fresh air?" Hiei asked with a smirk.
"Pollen." I replied. He rolled his eyes then started to spin around in my chair. "Do you have to do that?" He shrugged and continued. I could hear a small squeaking sound coming from it. It was making my head ache more. I know that when and if I got better, I would oil it. Botan came back into the room. She looked thoughtful and sort of angry.
"Nothing. Hiei, I can't stand seeing him in this condition." She sat down in the other chair, the one beside my bed, and sighed. "I wish there was something that we could do."
"The only thing we can do is sit here and wait for him to recover." He stopped spinning and looked at her. "He shouldn't go to school for atleast a day after he gets well." I blinked. That reminded me.. I needed a note from the doctor.
"Botan?" She looked over at me. "I need a note from my doctor before I go back to school." She smiled.
"That's one thing I can do. I'll get it for you after you get better. That way we can get the correct dates. You didn't go to school.. Tuesday." She walked over to my calendar and marked it down. I sighed.
"You mean if I get better." I saw her stiffen. Hiei did also, but I was concentrated on Botan. She didn't say anything for a minute and I knew she heard my emphasis on 'if'.
"No." She said finally, letting out the breath I didn't know she had been holding. "When you get better." She emphasized 'when' exactly the way I did 'if'. I didn't say anything and neither did anyone else. Okaasan came in and spent an hour with me. I was thankful she was caring. I felt horrible now. On top of all of all this sickness is a pile of guilt. I was guilty for deceiving her after all she did for me. I had acted so rude to her when I was little. It must've been hard raising a child who thinks you're inferior.
"Promise me that you'll get better, Suuichi." She said, placing her hands on mine and holding them. I looked down and bit my lip. I couldn't promise that. I couldn't risk breaking a promise to her.
"I-" I cut myself off. There was no use leading her on. There was only one thing I could do and that was to tell her the truth. Hiei stared at me and I felt his gaze. Botan was staring as well. I felt hot tears run my face. "I'm.. sorry.." I looked up into okaasan's brown eyes. She stared at me, not expecting that at all. "I.." I knew this wasn't going to be easy but my mind was made up. "I've been deceiving you, okaasan. I'm not who you think I am."
'What are you doing?' I felt the link form between Hiei and I.
'I have to tell her, Hiei. I can't stand this guilt anymore. After all she did for me, after all the truth she told me.. I have to do this.' He gave me a look that said 'I understand'. I felt the link close.
"What do you mean, Suuichi?" Okaasan asked, blinking. She was probably thinking I was delirious. Botan gave me a surprised look.
"Okaasan, whatever I tell you, you must know that I love you. You will always be my okaasan." She stared at me. "My true name.. the name I was really born with is Youko Kurama." She continued to stare at me, not understanding, not knowing.
"But.." I silenced her by putting my finger on her lips.
"I am a demon, okaasan." I searched around in my head for a way to get Youko to help me. Her eyes widened slightly.
"A-A demon?" I nodded.
"I was a theif. I-I made a mistake and nearly got killed. I escaped and.. thought that if I lived in the human world for atleast ten years then my spirit energy could recover and I would leave again." I paused and watched as she took all of this in.
"Thats why you never.. really grieved for your father when he died.. and why.."
"I thought you were inferior." I finished. She continued to hold my hands. "I couldn't leave you when you fell ill. So I stayed. You were going to die and I was going to give my life to a magical artifact to make you.. better. Yuusuke saved me and him by wishing that he die instead. It didn't kill either of us. I.. I felt guilty. For deceiving you after all you did for me." I waited for the crying and screams of 'vile beast'. They never came.
"Suuichi." I caught the fear in her voice and I winced. "I still love you. You are still Suuichi to me and you always will be. You've hurt no one here and I have to admit that you brought a lot of joy to my dull life." I looked up. This woman in front of me was really amazing. She was able to forgive me.
"Okaasan.." I trailed off. Hiei walked over to my drawer and pulled out the object that Sazuka had given to me.
"When he gets well, he will show you who and what he really is." Hiei said, holding it out to me. I took it and nodded. She looked at Hiei.
"You knew?" He nodded and smirked, his jagan eye glowing slightly under his bandana.
"I have my own secrets." She nodded and looked at Botan, who looked away.
"I want to thank both of you for taking care of him while he is ill." Botan looked back at her and nodded. "You knew, too, didn't you?"
"I did." Her amethyst eyes looked to me. "I think you were the one who reformed him. The one to make him what he is now." The diety touched my cheek.
"He has been a comfort to me. I would forgive him if he told me anything. It has come as a shock to me, that I admit." She looked at me. "You will always be Suuichi to me."
"Thank you." I said and I stood up, embracing her. She returned it fondly then let go.
"Get your rest."
"Yes, okaasan." She left the room and I breathed easier.
"Maybe it was the stress that caused your illness." Botan said softly. I shrugged. I suddenly thought of something.
"Okaasan! I promise!" I called down to her. I could almost see her smile.
"Good!"
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I sighed. My illness was weakening and I was thankful for that. Koenma came down in his teenaged form and I could've killed him. I wouldn't look at him or Botan while he was there. Hiei seemed to understand the situation since he knew my secret. He noticed something, however, that I could not because I wasn't looking.
'Kurama, he seems like it's a chore to smile at her.' He said through the telepathic link he formed. I liked how he had telepathy. 'He doesn't look happy at all to see her here.' I looked over out of the corner of my eye. Botan seemed happy but Koenma made it seem like it was a torture pit to come and see her.
'You're right. Doesn't she notice?' I turned away from the sight when he leaned down to kiss her good-bye. Anger and jealousy boiled in my blood and I felt my eyes start to sting and my vision get blurry.
'It doesn't seem so.' I felt the link close. I tried to blink the tears away but it wouldn't work. I felt horrible again. I felt pain and lonliness creep up to drown me slowly in their grasp. I was slowly going blind by the fires of jealousy. I admit it. I am jealous of that.. creep. He didn't know what he was missing. He was probably cheating. I thought to myself. 'You want me to read his thoughts?'
'You have to, Hiei. He probably is cheating on her.' I looked over at him to let him know it was urgent. He shrugged as if it didn't matter. I felt my stomach lurch in anticipation. Koenma left before Hiei would even think about replying.
'I couldn't get anything other than thoughts of him getting back to Reikai. He never thought anything about you, her, or anything but that.' He replied. The link closed and I was silently letting out my anger that night.
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I woke up in the morning to find that my breathing had improved and that my head didn't hurt.
"How are you feeling, Kurama?" Botan asked me and I nearly jumped. I looked at her in mild surprise and she just smiled back at me.
"I'm fine." Once again I was my cold self. It seemed as though this barrier wasn't helping me. It was just torturing me slowly until, one day, I will die inside. My emotions couldn't take any more. It was like a bumpy road to hell in a lumber wagon. A rollercoaster would be too smooth of a term for my life. My life had no 'ups'. It was all 'downs'.
"You look better but you're not fine. You look upset." I glared at her.
"The last thing I need right now is someone talking to me." I snapped. Hiei looked up and raised his eyebrow. I even glared at him. Life was draining out of me every second. I had to get away from her. I got out of bed and raced downstairs. I knew both Hiei and Botan were going to look for me. I hid in the park by the fountain. I couldn't face anyone right now. She's my world.. and I can't have her. I left that area and hid in a grove of trees. Tears ran down my face and I couldn't stop them. I sat down at the base of a tree and pulled my legs up to my chest. Then I put my head in my arms and cried.
'I think you were the one who reformed him. The one to make him what he is now.' Her voice and touch ran through my head. I couldn't stop this time. Hiei found me first. I sensed his presence then hers. Neither of them moved nor said anything. My shoulders shook and I coughed, choking. I didn't care anymore. I needed someone else to be there for me. Not her. Quiet footsteps approached me and I knew it was Botan. I felt her arms wrap around me in a comforting way. I wanted to run but if I looked up they would see me in this pitiful state. I got up, hid my face in my bangs and stood there for a moment. I could see that Hiei didn't like to see me that way. I then ran from them again. I didn't want her to comfort me. She was the one that was bringing me pain.
"You really are upset, aren't you?" I heard his calm voice. I wound up sitting near the edge of my favorite cliff. He was standing behind me. I nodded.
"Yes.." My voice was choked and I was trying to stop myself from crying. "She was.. the only one I've ever felt this way.. for." I felt his gaze fix on me then lift back to the waves of the rough water.
"You're going through hell, right?" More tears cascaded down my face.
"I don't know."
"You're crying, Kurama." He said in an emotionless tone. "Not much can make you cry." He hated the word and I knew it. Hell, I hated the word.
"So?" I felt her presence. I glared at the ground.
"Your life is breaking. Shattering like pieces of glass." I sighed. He was absolutely right. "How are you going to fix it?" The thought only made me cry harder.
"They're lost, scattered in the ocean of darkness. I'd drown before I could find them all and put them back together." Those words sunk in and I realized how true they really were. He remained silent.
"No way to find them?" I looked into the churning depths of the waters below.
"No."
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I finally went home. Night was starting to darken the sky above as I walked through the chilly street. I felt the darkness surround me and I felt at ease. My sorrow was gone for now. I felt nothing. I was empty. When I got in, Botan, Hiei, and my okaasan were waiting for me in the living room. I walked past them and went back up to my room. Hiei was close behind me. He sat down on my bed and I took my spinning chair. I spun around once or twice then came to a stop facing the koorime.
"I feel empty." I said, answering his unvoiced question. He gave a short nod and blinked.
"I expected that you would." I looked at the door to see Botan standing there. A tear rolled down her porcelain-like cheek. Her amethyst eyes showed distress and pain.
"Kurama.." I saw her sadness and it seemed to me that I felt it. I didn't say anything, choosing to stay silent. Her eyes gained a pleading look. "Tell me what's wrong." I refused to say a word. Silence swallowed me whole and buried me in a sandy beach of pain and suffering. I looked to Hiei and he stared back at me, my reflection mirrored in his ruby-like eyes. I gave no indication that I was going to say anything so Botan just sat down on the end of my bed and watched me.
'Kitsune, you really buried yourself this time.' Hiei said through a telepathic link that he had formed once again.
'Tell me about it.' I inwardly sighed. I spun around in my chair and faced the wall. I have no memory of ever being like this when I was the Legendary Bandit, Youko Kurama.
'What do you plan to do?' He sounded uninterested. He already knew. I was going to put this as far behind me as I possibly could. 'Yes, I know all that.'
'Why, then, did you ask?' I started rocking back and forth in my chair. I needed to do something.
'Because I haven't read your mind yet. I didn't wish to do it when you were.. upset.' He didn't want to use the word again. I smiled to myself. That was always Hiei. He was simple to understand once you threw those complications out the window.
'I didn't think about what I was going to do. I want to just forget that this happened and get on with life.' We both knew that that journey would take a lot of time to complete. Just tossing your feelings for someone behind you was hard enough.. They would resurface after a little while.
'Yes, it will be hard.' He said in a tone that brought me to realization. 'You mustn't see her for quite some time if you want to get over it.' Slowly, I turned my chair around to face them. Botan was staring at the floor and looking upset. This was going to be very difficult.
'You will help me, right?' I looked at him and he nodded once.
'If you consider it help at all.' He said. Our link closed and I stood up. I needed some time alone to think. I needed somewhere to think. I looked outside. The tree by my window was good enough for me. I opened the window and climbed out. I sat down on a branch and leaned against the trunk of the large tree. I sat there and thoughtfully made a small grow in my palm. The small plant stopped when I stopped the flow of my spirit energy. I could feel her eyes on me. I sat there, ignoring everything and just enjoying my moment alone.
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Hn. This was an okay chapter. It brought some tears to my eyes when I reread it. =D
-Jess-
Oh! Here's the next chapter! Let's read it! Then review! (Cheap, yeah, I know.. but what the hey! n.n;)
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What a day! I can breathe and I feel just a little bit better.. not.
"Why me!?"
"Didn't you already ask that question?" Hiei asked as he walked into the room.
"Where have you been all day?" Botan asked, crossing her arms. It was early in the evening and he hadn't been here all day.
"I had my Rabies shot. Now, Kurama, when you decide to use your calendar, you can mark it in green." Hiei said sarcastically. I gave him a look and he returned it.
"You have serious issues." I mumbled. He ignored my comment and sat down at my desk.
"What do you suggest we do? It's Sunday and he's still not better." Botan said with a sigh. I would say she's the only one who really cares in this room. I know, however, that this illness will get to me before I get better.
"I told you. Atleast a week. I've only heard of a few cases that lasted a few days. For some of those that survived." He stated, twirling around in the chair. He had a bored look on his face.
"Is there something in Makai that could help? I wonder if Reikai has anything on file about this?" She wondered, looking toward Hiei.
"I wouldn't know." She snapped her fingers then looked down at me.
"I'm going to Reikai to see about this. You make sure to stay in bed." I sighed and watched her leave. What the hell was going on? Youko hadn't thought nor said anything in days. I'd almost say he went to sleep and was staying that way until the sickness ended.
"I don't want to stay in bed much longer. I might not be able to walk for days after this." I moved my cramped legs. "They're cramped and it doesn't feel good."
"Just go run a mile." Hiei said sarcastically. I looked over at him and smirked.
"I would but I'm not allowed." He snorted.
"Go do what you want. Keeping you here isn't going to cure your illness. They never found a cure for it, but they know that we all need fresh air. Thats something you haven't had in a while." He walked over to the window and opened it. I could detect various scents of familiar neighbors and hear the honking of horns.
"I haven't been able to breathe in a while. These scents I'm picking up are very faint and difficult to recognize, but I know them." He looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. I breathed deeply. "Fresh air.." I collapsed back onto my pillow and smiled slightly. It was nice having a nice cool breeze blow in. I sneezed. Yippie.
"Too much fresh air?" Hiei asked with a smirk.
"Pollen." I replied. He rolled his eyes then started to spin around in my chair. "Do you have to do that?" He shrugged and continued. I could hear a small squeaking sound coming from it. It was making my head ache more. I know that when and if I got better, I would oil it. Botan came back into the room. She looked thoughtful and sort of angry.
"Nothing. Hiei, I can't stand seeing him in this condition." She sat down in the other chair, the one beside my bed, and sighed. "I wish there was something that we could do."
"The only thing we can do is sit here and wait for him to recover." He stopped spinning and looked at her. "He shouldn't go to school for atleast a day after he gets well." I blinked. That reminded me.. I needed a note from the doctor.
"Botan?" She looked over at me. "I need a note from my doctor before I go back to school." She smiled.
"That's one thing I can do. I'll get it for you after you get better. That way we can get the correct dates. You didn't go to school.. Tuesday." She walked over to my calendar and marked it down. I sighed.
"You mean if I get better." I saw her stiffen. Hiei did also, but I was concentrated on Botan. She didn't say anything for a minute and I knew she heard my emphasis on 'if'.
"No." She said finally, letting out the breath I didn't know she had been holding. "When you get better." She emphasized 'when' exactly the way I did 'if'. I didn't say anything and neither did anyone else. Okaasan came in and spent an hour with me. I was thankful she was caring. I felt horrible now. On top of all of all this sickness is a pile of guilt. I was guilty for deceiving her after all she did for me. I had acted so rude to her when I was little. It must've been hard raising a child who thinks you're inferior.
"Promise me that you'll get better, Suuichi." She said, placing her hands on mine and holding them. I looked down and bit my lip. I couldn't promise that. I couldn't risk breaking a promise to her.
"I-" I cut myself off. There was no use leading her on. There was only one thing I could do and that was to tell her the truth. Hiei stared at me and I felt his gaze. Botan was staring as well. I felt hot tears run my face. "I'm.. sorry.." I looked up into okaasan's brown eyes. She stared at me, not expecting that at all. "I.." I knew this wasn't going to be easy but my mind was made up. "I've been deceiving you, okaasan. I'm not who you think I am."
'What are you doing?' I felt the link form between Hiei and I.
'I have to tell her, Hiei. I can't stand this guilt anymore. After all she did for me, after all the truth she told me.. I have to do this.' He gave me a look that said 'I understand'. I felt the link close.
"What do you mean, Suuichi?" Okaasan asked, blinking. She was probably thinking I was delirious. Botan gave me a surprised look.
"Okaasan, whatever I tell you, you must know that I love you. You will always be my okaasan." She stared at me. "My true name.. the name I was really born with is Youko Kurama." She continued to stare at me, not understanding, not knowing.
"But.." I silenced her by putting my finger on her lips.
"I am a demon, okaasan." I searched around in my head for a way to get Youko to help me. Her eyes widened slightly.
"A-A demon?" I nodded.
"I was a theif. I-I made a mistake and nearly got killed. I escaped and.. thought that if I lived in the human world for atleast ten years then my spirit energy could recover and I would leave again." I paused and watched as she took all of this in.
"Thats why you never.. really grieved for your father when he died.. and why.."
"I thought you were inferior." I finished. She continued to hold my hands. "I couldn't leave you when you fell ill. So I stayed. You were going to die and I was going to give my life to a magical artifact to make you.. better. Yuusuke saved me and him by wishing that he die instead. It didn't kill either of us. I.. I felt guilty. For deceiving you after all you did for me." I waited for the crying and screams of 'vile beast'. They never came.
"Suuichi." I caught the fear in her voice and I winced. "I still love you. You are still Suuichi to me and you always will be. You've hurt no one here and I have to admit that you brought a lot of joy to my dull life." I looked up. This woman in front of me was really amazing. She was able to forgive me.
"Okaasan.." I trailed off. Hiei walked over to my drawer and pulled out the object that Sazuka had given to me.
"When he gets well, he will show you who and what he really is." Hiei said, holding it out to me. I took it and nodded. She looked at Hiei.
"You knew?" He nodded and smirked, his jagan eye glowing slightly under his bandana.
"I have my own secrets." She nodded and looked at Botan, who looked away.
"I want to thank both of you for taking care of him while he is ill." Botan looked back at her and nodded. "You knew, too, didn't you?"
"I did." Her amethyst eyes looked to me. "I think you were the one who reformed him. The one to make him what he is now." The diety touched my cheek.
"He has been a comfort to me. I would forgive him if he told me anything. It has come as a shock to me, that I admit." She looked at me. "You will always be Suuichi to me."
"Thank you." I said and I stood up, embracing her. She returned it fondly then let go.
"Get your rest."
"Yes, okaasan." She left the room and I breathed easier.
"Maybe it was the stress that caused your illness." Botan said softly. I shrugged. I suddenly thought of something.
"Okaasan! I promise!" I called down to her. I could almost see her smile.
"Good!"
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I sighed. My illness was weakening and I was thankful for that. Koenma came down in his teenaged form and I could've killed him. I wouldn't look at him or Botan while he was there. Hiei seemed to understand the situation since he knew my secret. He noticed something, however, that I could not because I wasn't looking.
'Kurama, he seems like it's a chore to smile at her.' He said through the telepathic link he formed. I liked how he had telepathy. 'He doesn't look happy at all to see her here.' I looked over out of the corner of my eye. Botan seemed happy but Koenma made it seem like it was a torture pit to come and see her.
'You're right. Doesn't she notice?' I turned away from the sight when he leaned down to kiss her good-bye. Anger and jealousy boiled in my blood and I felt my eyes start to sting and my vision get blurry.
'It doesn't seem so.' I felt the link close. I tried to blink the tears away but it wouldn't work. I felt horrible again. I felt pain and lonliness creep up to drown me slowly in their grasp. I was slowly going blind by the fires of jealousy. I admit it. I am jealous of that.. creep. He didn't know what he was missing. He was probably cheating. I thought to myself. 'You want me to read his thoughts?'
'You have to, Hiei. He probably is cheating on her.' I looked over at him to let him know it was urgent. He shrugged as if it didn't matter. I felt my stomach lurch in anticipation. Koenma left before Hiei would even think about replying.
'I couldn't get anything other than thoughts of him getting back to Reikai. He never thought anything about you, her, or anything but that.' He replied. The link closed and I was silently letting out my anger that night.
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I woke up in the morning to find that my breathing had improved and that my head didn't hurt.
"How are you feeling, Kurama?" Botan asked me and I nearly jumped. I looked at her in mild surprise and she just smiled back at me.
"I'm fine." Once again I was my cold self. It seemed as though this barrier wasn't helping me. It was just torturing me slowly until, one day, I will die inside. My emotions couldn't take any more. It was like a bumpy road to hell in a lumber wagon. A rollercoaster would be too smooth of a term for my life. My life had no 'ups'. It was all 'downs'.
"You look better but you're not fine. You look upset." I glared at her.
"The last thing I need right now is someone talking to me." I snapped. Hiei looked up and raised his eyebrow. I even glared at him. Life was draining out of me every second. I had to get away from her. I got out of bed and raced downstairs. I knew both Hiei and Botan were going to look for me. I hid in the park by the fountain. I couldn't face anyone right now. She's my world.. and I can't have her. I left that area and hid in a grove of trees. Tears ran down my face and I couldn't stop them. I sat down at the base of a tree and pulled my legs up to my chest. Then I put my head in my arms and cried.
'I think you were the one who reformed him. The one to make him what he is now.' Her voice and touch ran through my head. I couldn't stop this time. Hiei found me first. I sensed his presence then hers. Neither of them moved nor said anything. My shoulders shook and I coughed, choking. I didn't care anymore. I needed someone else to be there for me. Not her. Quiet footsteps approached me and I knew it was Botan. I felt her arms wrap around me in a comforting way. I wanted to run but if I looked up they would see me in this pitiful state. I got up, hid my face in my bangs and stood there for a moment. I could see that Hiei didn't like to see me that way. I then ran from them again. I didn't want her to comfort me. She was the one that was bringing me pain.
"You really are upset, aren't you?" I heard his calm voice. I wound up sitting near the edge of my favorite cliff. He was standing behind me. I nodded.
"Yes.." My voice was choked and I was trying to stop myself from crying. "She was.. the only one I've ever felt this way.. for." I felt his gaze fix on me then lift back to the waves of the rough water.
"You're going through hell, right?" More tears cascaded down my face.
"I don't know."
"You're crying, Kurama." He said in an emotionless tone. "Not much can make you cry." He hated the word and I knew it. Hell, I hated the word.
"So?" I felt her presence. I glared at the ground.
"Your life is breaking. Shattering like pieces of glass." I sighed. He was absolutely right. "How are you going to fix it?" The thought only made me cry harder.
"They're lost, scattered in the ocean of darkness. I'd drown before I could find them all and put them back together." Those words sunk in and I realized how true they really were. He remained silent.
"No way to find them?" I looked into the churning depths of the waters below.
"No."
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I finally went home. Night was starting to darken the sky above as I walked through the chilly street. I felt the darkness surround me and I felt at ease. My sorrow was gone for now. I felt nothing. I was empty. When I got in, Botan, Hiei, and my okaasan were waiting for me in the living room. I walked past them and went back up to my room. Hiei was close behind me. He sat down on my bed and I took my spinning chair. I spun around once or twice then came to a stop facing the koorime.
"I feel empty." I said, answering his unvoiced question. He gave a short nod and blinked.
"I expected that you would." I looked at the door to see Botan standing there. A tear rolled down her porcelain-like cheek. Her amethyst eyes showed distress and pain.
"Kurama.." I saw her sadness and it seemed to me that I felt it. I didn't say anything, choosing to stay silent. Her eyes gained a pleading look. "Tell me what's wrong." I refused to say a word. Silence swallowed me whole and buried me in a sandy beach of pain and suffering. I looked to Hiei and he stared back at me, my reflection mirrored in his ruby-like eyes. I gave no indication that I was going to say anything so Botan just sat down on the end of my bed and watched me.
'Kitsune, you really buried yourself this time.' Hiei said through a telepathic link that he had formed once again.
'Tell me about it.' I inwardly sighed. I spun around in my chair and faced the wall. I have no memory of ever being like this when I was the Legendary Bandit, Youko Kurama.
'What do you plan to do?' He sounded uninterested. He already knew. I was going to put this as far behind me as I possibly could. 'Yes, I know all that.'
'Why, then, did you ask?' I started rocking back and forth in my chair. I needed to do something.
'Because I haven't read your mind yet. I didn't wish to do it when you were.. upset.' He didn't want to use the word again. I smiled to myself. That was always Hiei. He was simple to understand once you threw those complications out the window.
'I didn't think about what I was going to do. I want to just forget that this happened and get on with life.' We both knew that that journey would take a lot of time to complete. Just tossing your feelings for someone behind you was hard enough.. They would resurface after a little while.
'Yes, it will be hard.' He said in a tone that brought me to realization. 'You mustn't see her for quite some time if you want to get over it.' Slowly, I turned my chair around to face them. Botan was staring at the floor and looking upset. This was going to be very difficult.
'You will help me, right?' I looked at him and he nodded once.
'If you consider it help at all.' He said. Our link closed and I stood up. I needed some time alone to think. I needed somewhere to think. I looked outside. The tree by my window was good enough for me. I opened the window and climbed out. I sat down on a branch and leaned against the trunk of the large tree. I sat there and thoughtfully made a small grow in my palm. The small plant stopped when I stopped the flow of my spirit energy. I could feel her eyes on me. I sat there, ignoring everything and just enjoying my moment alone.
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Hn. This was an okay chapter. It brought some tears to my eyes when I reread it. =D
-Jess-