Chapter 12: The Waiting Game

Jack shone his flashlight into the trees as the monster stopped moving. It was getting old, really. He was tired of having to assuage everyone's fears whenever that thing started moving around in the trees.

For a brief moment he'd thought maybe Kate would help relieve some of the burden on his shoulders, but now...now he didn't know what to think. She was hiding things from him, she'd become somehow involved with Sawyer, and it appeared she'd been some kind of criminal before the crash.

He didn't like the way she was running to Sawyer. The man had an air of danger around him, and Jack didn't trust him for an instant. He would have thought Kate would be smarter than to trust him. But then again, what did he really know about her?

He turned and watched as Hurley came toward him. Sayid had left to stoke the signal fire, so he'd been standing alone for the last several minutes. He almost wished Hurley would keep going. There was very little chance to be alone on this island, especially when you were the one everyone came to for answers, and he really needed a break.

"So, Dude," Hurley said. "What are you going to do about that guy? Everyone's pretty scared."

"We'll go looking for him when it gets light," Jack said. "It's too dangerous in the dark."

"What if he back while everyone's asleep?"

Jack sighed. "He's not going to attack someone in the middle of the group."

"He attacked Kate."

"Look how far away she was from everyone else. No one could see him from there."

Hurley was quiet for a few moments. "So what's up with her and Sawyer? Why'd they run off together?"

Jack glanced at him, then down at where Kate's things still sat on the ground, not far from him. "Kate thought she saw something, and Sawyer went after her when he saw her run into the jungle."

"Sorry, Dude, but he just doesn't seem like the type to rescue anybody."

Jack didn't respond, though he'd been thinking the same thing. Sawyer had seemed totally wrapped up in himself and his own needs, but he'd gone after Kate. Not only that, but he could have left her in the jungle once she passed out. But he hadn't. Already weighted down by those bags—he really needed to find out what was in them—he'd taken on her weight and carried her back to the beach.

He glanced at Hurley, but the other man was looking down the beach.

"Guess we don't have to wonder what they were doing all that time they were alone," Hurley said, and Jack followed his gaze.

Kate and Sawyer stood together at the water's edge, hands clenched on each other, lips pressed together in what he'd be a fool to mistake for a first kiss. You didn't stand that close, you didn't touch that way if it was just a first kiss.

His heart tumbled over and back in his chest, his shoulders sagging under the heavy, foreign weight of betrayal. He swallowed around the lump in his throat, tasting the acrid, unwelcome taste of failure on his tongue. He looked away, unable to take the sight of them together.

He wasn't sure how much time had passed when he felt the presence behind him. He turned and saw not Hurley but Kate standing a few feet away. It seemed like only moments ago he'd been wishing to be alone, but now, after witnessing that kiss, he wished he was surrounded by the others.

"Are you all right?" she asked.

He fought to keep his expression neutral. "Fine," he said shortly.

She frowned slightly, opening her mouth as if to respond, but instead shook her head and looked toward the jungle. "You don't need to go after him," she said, and for a split second he thought she meant Sawyer. But she continued, "We're going to lure him here."

"Lure who? The attacker?"

She nodded. "He has to be stopped."

"I'm not saying I disagree," Jack murmured, reaching out to brush his thumb over the bruise on her cheek. When he realized what he was doing, he let his hand fall uselessly to his side. He didn't have a right to touch her. She didn't need him. She had Sawyer now. "But do you realize how dangerous that is?"

"Of course I do. But like I told Sawyer, you could search the jungle for days and not find him. But this will bring him to us."

"And you're just going to put yourself out there as the bait?"

"He attacked me once because he thinks I have those pictures. He'll do it again."

"And what if he seriously injures you before anyone can stop him?"

"It's a risk I have to take, Jack. What he did to the woman in those pictures...we can't wait around for him to do it to someone else."

"Did Sawyer come up with this plan?"

"Actually, I did. He doesn't like it any more than you do."

There was a long, uncomfortable silence between them. Jack looked down at her, not sure where they stood anymore. Everything he'd thought he knew about her had been called into question.

Her turned away from her and looked toward the trees. "So, you and Sawyer seem to have gotten pretty close," he said.

"What?"

"I don't think you'd kiss your dad like that."

He turned in time to see her face fall, the color leeching away. He felt a twinge of regret for being so blunt, but then again, he hadn't said anything that wasn't true. He'd seen them kiss, and the unwelcome image wasn't going away any time soon.

"You saw us," Kate said dumbly.

"You weren't exactly hiding."

Kate looked down at the ground, her heart racing, her mind spinning. When she'd gotten involved with Sawyer—however involved a few kisses and some jumbled-up feelings made her—she hadn't thought far enough ahead to know how to react when the others found out. When Jack found out. She'd been caught up in the passion, in the intoxicating emotions that swept over her whenever she was close to him. She hadn't taken the time to decide how and when to bring it all out in the open.

But it was too late for strategizing now. Jack knew, and evidently wasn't too happy about it. She wondered how many of the others knew.

"It's just something that happened," she said. "I didn't plan it, I didn't expect it."

"But you didn't try to stop it, either."

She looked at him through slightly narrowed eyes, probably feeling more defensive than she had a reason to. "Are you saying I should have?" she asked.

"I just don't get it," Jack said. "He's arrogant, he's rude, he's—"

"He's not what everyone thinks he is. He saved my life," she said quietly, decisively. "Twice. When I ran into the jungle last night I didn't know what was going on. If he hadn't seen me go in, then stopped me, I don't know what would have happened. Then after hiking through the jungle for almost twenty-four hours, he carried me back to the beach."

"So you kissed him out of gratitude?"

Her face closed down, and she felt almost as if she'd been kicked in the stomach. "Is that what you think of me?" she asked coldly. "That I'll just make out with anyone who offers me a helping hand? You think that's how I show my gratitude?"

"What do you really know about him?" Jack asked. "Did he spill all of his secrets while you were in the jungle together?"

"No, he didn't. And I didn't spill mine, either."

"So in other words, you know nothing about him, but you decided to kiss him anyway."

"You can be mad at me if you want, Jack, but I don't need you to make me feel guilty for what happened. We're all trying to find a way to survive here, and what happens here wouldn't necessarily happen in the real world."

He opened his mouth to respond, but she cut him off. "I don't want to fight with you, Jack. I'm exhausted, and I just want to get this all over with."

"We can go after him, Kate. We'll find him eventually. You don't have to do this."

"Yeah, I do," she said, then picked up her bags and walked down the beach before he could respond.

She made her way past the other survivors, offering bland reassurances to the few who asked if she was okay. She paused at the edge of the camp, then turned back and took a few minutes to explain the situation to Sayid. He was worried about the danger to her, just as Sawyer and Jack had been, but he somehow understood her need to take action. He warned her to be careful, and assured her he would keep a close watch, but he didn't try to convince her the plan was a bad idea.

She was grateful for once that she didn't have to argue about it, and she was even more grateful that she hadn't had to defend her kiss to Sayid. She didn't regret kissing Sawyer, and she was already tired of people making her feel defensive about it. She'd seen the disappointment in Jack's eyes as he revealed his knowledge, and it ate at her. She didn't want him to hate her. She wanted him to respect her, to see her as an equal. But would he do that now that he knew she was involved with Sawyer?

She didn't regret getting involved with him. Sure, they probably had no long-term chance, and she'd probably end up with her heart shattered like the sand, but it wasn't anything she hadn't dealt with before. And here on the island, even more so than her old life, she felt isolated and alone. Just because she was stuck here didn't mean she'd stopped running from her secrets, running from her past. The difference was, here she had nowhere to run.

But Sawyer made her feel alive. He made her heart pound and her skin tingle. He made her forget for a few moments that she was one of four dozen people in a life or death struggle. He made her forget what she'd done and what she'd been accused of. He made her want to stop running, and she hadn't stopped running in a long, long time.

She dropped her bags down at an isolated spot on the beach, around a slight bend. She could still see the edge of the camp, see the flickering flames of the signal fire and the dozen smaller fires that burned across the beach. But she was protected from the curious gazes of the survivors, the ones that would make her too nervous and jumpy to carry out the plan.

She didn't need any help being jumpy. Every swish of the water, every rustle of the leaves made her heart lurch. She wondered if he was out there somewhere, watching her. Waiting to strike. She wondered how long it would take before he tried again. She didn't doubt for a minute that he'd come back; the question was, when would it happen?

She licked her lips, glancing toward the trees. Sawyer was out there somewhere. When they'd broken apart after the kiss, they'd finalized their plan. She would find a spot on the opposite side of the beach, away from the camp, but not so far as to be obvious. They wanted the attacker to think she was seeking privacy and solace, not baiting a trap. If she went too far away from the others, he could get suspicious. But if she went only a short distance, still within shouting distance but with a modicum of privacy, that should seem natural.

At least she thought so. She would give anything right now for some real privacy, not just the illusion. She felt naked, exposed and vulnerable. Her eye throbbed dully, and her neck stung whenever she turned her head. She didn't like being a victim, not one bit.

The second part of their plan had included Sawyer finding a safe spot to observe her from, to watch and wait for the attacker to make his move. He'd assured her he could keep himself hidden, then he'd laughed when she warned him not to light any cigarettes and give himself away. He'd flashed that bad-boy grin and told her he'd try to control himself.

She figured now that Sayid would become a part of the plan, that he too would find himself a place to hide and watch out for her. She was glad; she wasn't going to complain about an extra pair of hands, someone else who knew the story and was ready and willing to help them stop this guy before he hurt anyone else. She wondered if Jack would help, or if he was too angry with her. Somehow, she couldn't see him not doing something to help. Regardless of his anger toward her or Sawyer, he knew the attacker was dangerous and would help if for no other reason than to keep everyone safe from him.

She gathered up a pile of driftwood and built a small fire. She held her hands to it, rubbing warmth into her arms. The days were sweltering but the nights here turned fairly cool, and she felt fine tremors running over her body. Part of it was nerves; part, but not all.

She sat down in the sand and pulled out a packet of peanuts. She popped them into her mouth one by one, staring into the fire, her mind drifting. Lead weights dragged her eyelids down, but every time she closed her eyes, the tiniest noise shot them open again. The call of an insect, a rabbit snapping a fallen twig in the jungle, it didn't matter. She was desperate for sleep, but it wouldn't come. So instead of sleeping, she stared at the fire and waited.

Sawyer sat in a thick cradle of tree branches about a dozen yards down the beach from where Kate had made her camp. He'd wanted to be close enough that when the attacker showed up, he'd be able to get to Kate before it was too late, but not so close that he would be spotted. It was a tricky proposition, because he had no idea what direction the attacker would come at her from.

It would take him some time to circle around the camp and find her again. He was probably off somewhere licking his wounds, letting his anger build. The more time that went by, the more angry he would get. Sawyer shook his head, part of him hoping the guy would simply disappear or die in some accident so Kate didn't have to risk herself. But the other part of him knew that wasn't going to happen, so he hoped the guy would come quick. He wanted this over with.

He reached toward his pocket for his cigarettes, then drew his hand back with a twist of his lips. Kate had warned him not to smoke while he was on watch. He knew she was right, but for some reason it had struck him as funny. Maybe it was the thought of her trying to protect someone like him, or maybe he was just too damn tired. He certainly wasn't going to admit that he liked knowing he had her in his corner.

She'd gone to talk to Jack after they separated. Had to tell the hero what was going on, she'd explained, though she hadn't called him that. Sawyer had nodded and walked away, though an ugly tendril of jealousy had curled in his belly. She may be kissing him at the moment, but he knew she was drawn to Jack, and a part of him he would never acknowledge was worried she would choose the doc instead.

He wondered if she'd tell the doc about the kiss. He sneered, a dark part of him wanting to ravage her in front of the other man. The doc may be the hero, he may be the leader, but at least he wouldn't have the girl.

He looked down the beach and watched her stare into the fire. Twenty-four hours ago he'd been sitting with her next to a fire like that one, telling her that he was glad she'd taken the gun away from him. He shook his head, wondering at how much could change in such a short time. A world already tossed upside down had been turned around yet again. He'd attempted to kill a man but failed, and he was preparing to do the same thing again. The first time it had been to end a man's suffering. This time it was to prevent future suffering that was sure to occur, to Kate or someone else. Both causes were just, but that didn't mean he liked it one bit. The thought of more blood on his hands left a bitter taste in his mouth, but he knew there was no choice.

Because whenever he closed his eyes, he saw those pictures, saw the woman that had been so savagely beaten. Only now it wasn't her face he saw in them. It was Kate's. And the thought of her lying dead and used up like that sent black rage through him. He hardly knew her, had shared only a few kisses with her, but damned if he was going to let anyone hurt her. He was nobody's idea of a hero, but he'd risk everything in him to keep her safe.