Title: Scabbers the Rat.
By: RogueCajun & Bootstraps
(The Crazy minds that brought you the Quidditch song and that will bring you the tale of the Marauders and what happens when you try to get revenge on your arch nemesis, did I mention that it too has some Aerosmith in it?)
Chapter: One/One
Chapter Title: Scabbers the rat…
Genre: Humor
Summary: From the Crazy minds that brought you the Quidditch song comes a poem-esque doodad about Scabbers the rat. Even if you do not like Scabbers the Rat, you will like this poem-y thing. It comes complete with random rhyming words, incoherent sentences, and Aerosmith. What more could you ask for?
This is not, I repeat not to be taken seriously, we wrote this one day when we were bored.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, if I owned Harry Potter then Sirius would not have died and the books would be about him, not Harry. But alas, I do not own Harry Potter.
Rating: Pg-13-ish.
Random Quote: "Maybourne, you are an idiot every day of the week. Why couldn't you have taken at least one day off!" –Major Samantha Carter of the SGC from Stargate Sg-1.
There once was a rat named Scabbers
Wicka wicka turntable nothing rhymes with Scabbers
The only thing close is rappers.
He was a rat
Who was very fat
And belonged to a kid named Ron
Whose favorite bands were
Bon Jovi, Aerosmith, AC/DC,
He had a brother named Percy whose favorite band was
Black Sabbath with Tony Iommi
Peski pixie pesternome
Now Scabbers the rat
Who was very fat was a rat of very old age
He had lived twelve years of life
Amid all the strife and chaos of being passed from Weasley to Weasley
Hey nani nani, hey nani nani, hey nani nani and a ho, ho, ho.
When Ron went to school
He thought it would be cool to take his pet rat with him.
Along the way that bright fall day, they met a guy
Who was very shy and seemed not to know where he was going
When Ron introduced himself and his rat to the boy
The rat's eyes lit up when he heard the boy say that his name was Harry Potter.
Doodly doodly doo, not a lot rhymes with Potter.
When they arrived at school
They had many adventures along with a girl named Hermione
Whose parent's were dentist so her teeth were always very clean and shiny.
No matter what they did or where they went
Ronald Weasley always took with him
Scabbers the rat
Yes, his precious rat
My friend Elizabeth used to date a guy named Matt.
In their third year
There was a great fear
Among the wizarding population
For a man had escaped from the most secure place in the entire nation.
A rumor spread throughout Hogwarts that Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban
My grandma drives a mini-van
To kill the boy who lived.
Now Sirius was once drop dead gorgeous
And the best friend of Harry's dad
Only now that James was dead
Sirius had gone quite mad.
It was one quiet night
Beneath the moonlight with Hermione by his side
That Harry went down a tunnel to rescue Ron from a monster of a dog
Who had taken Ron and Scabbers
My great grandma was a flapper in the 20's
The giant black dog
Who had appeared in the fog
Was really Sirius Black
Who wanted revenge on Ronald's pet rat
For the murder of James and Lily.
Harry got angry and attack him
While Ron tried desperately to hold onto Scabbers
Soon Lupin the DADA teacher joined the fray
And embraced Black like a brother.
Together they told the tale of how
Lily and James' true betrayer had taken the form of a rat
One who was very fat
And had lived twelve long years with the Weasleys
And Draco Malfoy is the amazing bouncing ferret!
Pettigrew was Scabbers
And Scabbers was the rat
Who had betrayed Harry's Mum and Dad.
To make a long story short
Though I know it's too late
Remus was a werewolf and transformed as they were taking Scabbers to the dementors
And now he's back with his Lord
Voldemort.
And who knows how the story will play out
except the great J.K. herself?
We love the bouncing ferret!
And that you see
Is our poem-esque
Doodad about
Scabbers the rat
Our least favorite character
In the entire books.
We hoped you enjoyed our
Blood, sweat and tears
We hope we made you laugh with our
Bouncing ferret references, the Aerosmith, Bon Jovi and our insanity!