Contending with Lina Inverse
By: Lina Gabriev
Disclaimer: Slayers is owned by Hajime Kanzaka. I'm not making any money off this story.
Summary: A funny perspective of someone Lina has terrorized. Oneshot
Word Count: 656
Warnings: After TRY, hinted A/Z
Note: Just a little something I wrote last year. It's the first fanfic I wrote on paper, away from the inspiration of my computer.
Lina Inverse…
The name pierces fear through the hearts of mankind. Especially bandits. She is known as the bandit killer.
Had I only known back then…exactly how terrifying she was to people such as myself...
She came with those friends of hers.
A blond swordsman, a perky black haired girl, and a drop-dead gorgeous, blond lady.
They also traveled with a rather suspicious looking fellow of which the black haired girl seem to be quite attached.
Overall, such a nice group of young people to be associating themselves with…the enemy of all who live.
I decided not to take the advice of others, who had experienced what I later had to go through.
You know what the funny thing is though? I knew she was coming and knew who she was when she came in. But still, I paid no attention to the dangerous sign I put up every Sunday and made no move to remove it.
My buffet sign.
Instead, I showed them to their table.
Much to my surprise, I watched them shoot up from their seats after I invited them to the buffet, which had just opened.
Ignorantly I smiled, wondering something to the effect of "kids these days," having no idea of the danger I was in.
My smile, quite suddenly, turned into a horrified mask as one by one...(no that's not right) ten by ten all the food disappeared.
THEY ATE ME INTO BANKRUPTCY!
Now I love being in the restaurant business.
Working hard I was finally able to get back on my feet, as some like to say.
I tried to look on the bright side. I mean you learn best from the mistakes you make, right?
I abandoned the idea of a buffet.
See? I was already learning.
Someone hated my up there, I swear, 'cause of all the billions of people in the world, which group would walk in, you ask?
Lina Inverse's group.
I told the waitress I would take care of this.
No need to let the poor girl traumatize herself the same way I was.
I swallowed hard, only to find my mouth dry. I went over to the table and took their order and then ran away, not that they noticed.
AND GUESS WHAT?
Everything went perfectly. I gave them the bill, which the blond women paid for after a dirty look from Lina Inverse.
Something about paying to save the world? Whatever. As long as they leave…
Suddenly, someone literally popped into my restaurant next to me and began to annoy the blond woman.
Had I not been so emotionally exhausted from being scared of what Lina Inverse would do, I would have screamed.
Instead I just watched tight-lipped praying to whoever was listening that this guy would take them out of here.
I didn't even care if it was Shabranigdo I was praying to.
Instead of my prayers being answered, the beautiful blond woman (whom next to the guy I had deducted as suspicious, I had respected because they weren't really responsible for the buffet failure) suddenly turned ugly as she pulled a mace from under her skirt.
"XELLOSS!" Filia screamed, trying to hit him.
"Ms. Filia. Please calm down!" Amelia said trying to reason. Zel just sighed and left the restaurant waiting until the utterly stupid scene ended.
Lina and Gourry just ignored Amelia as they fought over some chicken.
I watched as my place was demolished slowly.
It was much more excruciating for me then seeing them eat me into bankruptcy.
Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, my pain ended as the blond lady (should I call her a lady now?) turned into a dragon, which, obviously was the end of my restaurant.
So what have I learned from this experience?
Well I run an inn now, and the fates showed me their extreme hatred for me through the group of people that just walked into my inn.
I've learned absolutely nothing.