-Delicate Petals-
Yay! I'm in a writing mood. Probably because I don't want to do my homework.. ^_^;
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I sat in school and chewed on my pen. I wasn't tired. I was bored. This teacher was killing me with his boring information that I knew. The only thing that interested me in school was when the Biology teacher talked about Botany, the study of plants. I loved plants and flowers and knew almost everything about them. We were supposed to be learning about it soon. Mrs. Higoshi, the Biology teacher, had said before that a Botanist would be coming in after we started to learn about it.
"Suuichi Minamino? Are you paying attention?" I looked up and nodded. "Then maybe you could answer this next question.."
Why me? These teachers had to ruin my day.
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I looked around the school grounds and saw Hiei leaning against the gates. I smiled for the first time that day and walked toward him.
"Today was very boring and slow." I said, before he could even ask. He nodded.
"Same for me."
"How did your training go?" We started to walk and I looked over at him.
"Fine."
"The same as usual?"
"Of course." He snorted. "Not much changes when you spend most of your time training. I think I might've reached a new speed though." I smirked at him.
"We'll test it the next time we train."
"Hn." We walked in silence until Botan caught up with us.
"Hey." I said with a smile. She smiled back.. well, slightly. "How're you feeling?" I watched as she smiled a bit more.
"I suppose I'm starting to get over it. My life just took a plunge before and I didn't know how else to react. I guess that I feel fine." She said, walking in-between us. Hiei wouldn't say anything to her and I didn't expect him to. He was never social.
"That's good to hear." I said quietly. She looked over at me.
"I suppose it is to you. I'm sorry for causing all this disruption."
"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong, Botan." I assured her, looking at the ground. She stopped walking.
"Would it be too much trouble if I stayed the night at your house?" I stopped walking at that question.
"Sure, but why?" I asked in confusion, looking back at her. She swallowed and bit her lip.
"Well.. I wanted to talk to you."
"Okay." I answered. Hiei had continued walking. He wasn't going to bother us, but he insisted on walking ahead. I smiled at her. "Anything specific?"
"Yes." She said, smiling back at me. She had changed from the incident. She didn't have that bubbly personality anymore.
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Hiei had decided to leave us alone. He knew something. I sighed and watched him jump out the window and onto the branch outside. Botan was supposed to be here in a little while. I wondered vaguely what she wanted to talk to me about. She would most likely want to talk about what happened up there and ask what she should do. I chewed on my lip in thought.
"I most certainly can't tell her about.. my feelings." I whispered thoughtfully. My train of thought came to a screeching halt when there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there she stood. She looked serious and worried. I didn't know why but she seemed fidgety. "You announced that you wished to talk?" It was always best to get things over-with and out of the way.
"I did." She agreed with a nod of her head. She gave me a smile. "I know this will take a long time to sort out, too. Thats why I came earlier than I intended to. Is it an inconvenience?" She sat down and watched me sit next to her. I shook my head.
"There was nothing I had planned."
"Good." She paused and sighed. I could tell this was bothering her. Whatever it was, we would get it out into the open and out of the way.
"What is this about?"
"I believe you already know the first part." I nodded.
"It has to do with Koenma, ne?" She looked away from me and didn't answer.
"I don't know how I'm going to tell you, but I guess it has to be done. It simply cannot wait any longer." I stared at her, giving her my full attention. "Well, it all started when he told me we needed to talk. I never really got the chance to realize that he was never really happy when he was with me. I was nervous of what he was going to tell me." She paused. "I was wrong in assuming that he loved me." She hid her eyes in her bangs. I couldn't possibly say anything to comfort her because I wouldn't lie to her. "He told me that he figured out his feelings for me and realized that he didn't love me, he loved Ikuko. I guess he was confused."
"That was still no reason to pull you in and hurt you like this." I said bitterly. She looked up at me in surprise. "I'm not going to hold my tongue anymore. You were just an experiment for him. He lied to you and let you believe that he loved you. I don't know how I managed to miss that but Hiei didn't. He told me. I couldn't tell you about it, though, knowing that I shouldn't enter other people's affairs. Well, now you know." I paused. She was staring at me, shocked. "In fact, he noticed it when I was ill and he came."
"What..?" Her voice was quiet and what I said to her sunk in. I was mad and that was obvious to her. I was beyond mad. I sat back and turned away from her, crossing my arms. I will admit that it hurt me to tell her but I didn't feel the pain. I was too blinded by anger. I could usually control it and tell her in a sensible way but when it came down to it, I didn't care as long as she got the truth. "How could he do that?"
"He is a lying--" I cut myself off and glared at something, willing it to break. The telephone was where my eyes stayed. I tried to will it to explode. That didn't work. It only helped to keep my mind from the subject at hand.
"You're not.." She trailed off. I could feel her eyes on me. My anger was slowly beginning to be replaced by my calm, emotionless self. I was finally able to put the anger and jealousy away. I wished I could go and train to let all of this pressure and stress out. I needed to pound something into the ground. "Why are you angry at him? I mean, I understand that you're my friend and all, but you're way too angry." I slapped around a mental image of Koenma in my head to rid it of the anger that was starting to calm. "You're acting like a jealous boyfriend." I stopped dead in my tracks, breathing and all.
"I'm not your boyfriend, so why would I be jealous?" I asked. It was delayed but who cares? I needed to keep myself hidden, secret. She would never feel the same way about me. She needed someone else who had a better life than me, who could love her freely and without fear of his past coming back to haunt him, and who would be there for her all the time. She didn't need me.
"I don't know.." She was too confused to figure me out. That was my hope. My only hope. If that failed, then I would have to confess myself and leave before she got caught up with me. In truth, I was still afraid of my past. I was still afraid to go back. There was nothing left for me there and if she found out, I would most definitely have to leave.
'But you promised her that you would stay by her.' Youko said, speaking up after his long silence. 'What kind of moron are you?'
'I'm you, Youko.'
'I am not the coward who is too afraid to tell her. I am not afraid of my past.' He said in a tone that I hated.
'Fine, you don't have to admit it.' I replied back to him in my thoughts. 'I will admit it for you. I am afraid. You are afraid. There is nothing left for us back there but it is the only option open to me if she figures it out.'
'Because you are too cowardly to tell her.' His dry tone got me aggravated.
'Why you--' I cut myself off. 'You can't call me that. You're afraid to go back.'
'So are you.' I wanted to throw him off a cliff after I strangled him. 'Nice thought. I'd like to see that. You throwing yourself off a cliff.'
"Damn you!" I didn't realize that I said it out loud. I was shaking with rage.
'You damn bastard!' I screamed at him, inside my head. 'Let me solve my own problem.'
'You've got more than one, Suuichi.' He said, before he faded to the back of my mind. I growled.
"Are you okay?" I heard her voice break through my barrier. "What's the matter?" I paled at least four times. I probably looked like a ghost.
"Did I say anything out loud?" I asked, turning to her with wide eyes. She nodded and I paled more.
"Only 'damn you'." She said, blinking. She looked confused, worried, and concerned. "Is there anything wrong?"
"Just an arguement with Youko." I answered quietly. She nodded thoughtfully.
"Over what, if I might ask?"
"Nothing special." I lied. She stared at me lamely. Why does no one believe me when I lie!?
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I hit a road block during the middle. *sigh* I was in the writing mood when I started it but I got to the middle and didn't know what to do next. That sucked. I continuously stared at it, reread it, and worked it out. I finally got it right and the way I wanted it. I have no homework for once, so I'll start the next chapter right now. *gasp* I know. A big shocker. n.n That's usually what I do when I work on this fic. I start the next chapter right after I finish the other. That's what happened before. I updated two chapters at the same time. Yayness!
-Jess-
Yay! I'm in a writing mood. Probably because I don't want to do my homework.. ^_^;
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I sat in school and chewed on my pen. I wasn't tired. I was bored. This teacher was killing me with his boring information that I knew. The only thing that interested me in school was when the Biology teacher talked about Botany, the study of plants. I loved plants and flowers and knew almost everything about them. We were supposed to be learning about it soon. Mrs. Higoshi, the Biology teacher, had said before that a Botanist would be coming in after we started to learn about it.
"Suuichi Minamino? Are you paying attention?" I looked up and nodded. "Then maybe you could answer this next question.."
Why me? These teachers had to ruin my day.
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I looked around the school grounds and saw Hiei leaning against the gates. I smiled for the first time that day and walked toward him.
"Today was very boring and slow." I said, before he could even ask. He nodded.
"Same for me."
"How did your training go?" We started to walk and I looked over at him.
"Fine."
"The same as usual?"
"Of course." He snorted. "Not much changes when you spend most of your time training. I think I might've reached a new speed though." I smirked at him.
"We'll test it the next time we train."
"Hn." We walked in silence until Botan caught up with us.
"Hey." I said with a smile. She smiled back.. well, slightly. "How're you feeling?" I watched as she smiled a bit more.
"I suppose I'm starting to get over it. My life just took a plunge before and I didn't know how else to react. I guess that I feel fine." She said, walking in-between us. Hiei wouldn't say anything to her and I didn't expect him to. He was never social.
"That's good to hear." I said quietly. She looked over at me.
"I suppose it is to you. I'm sorry for causing all this disruption."
"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong, Botan." I assured her, looking at the ground. She stopped walking.
"Would it be too much trouble if I stayed the night at your house?" I stopped walking at that question.
"Sure, but why?" I asked in confusion, looking back at her. She swallowed and bit her lip.
"Well.. I wanted to talk to you."
"Okay." I answered. Hiei had continued walking. He wasn't going to bother us, but he insisted on walking ahead. I smiled at her. "Anything specific?"
"Yes." She said, smiling back at me. She had changed from the incident. She didn't have that bubbly personality anymore.
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Hiei had decided to leave us alone. He knew something. I sighed and watched him jump out the window and onto the branch outside. Botan was supposed to be here in a little while. I wondered vaguely what she wanted to talk to me about. She would most likely want to talk about what happened up there and ask what she should do. I chewed on my lip in thought.
"I most certainly can't tell her about.. my feelings." I whispered thoughtfully. My train of thought came to a screeching halt when there was a knock at the door. I opened it and there she stood. She looked serious and worried. I didn't know why but she seemed fidgety. "You announced that you wished to talk?" It was always best to get things over-with and out of the way.
"I did." She agreed with a nod of her head. She gave me a smile. "I know this will take a long time to sort out, too. Thats why I came earlier than I intended to. Is it an inconvenience?" She sat down and watched me sit next to her. I shook my head.
"There was nothing I had planned."
"Good." She paused and sighed. I could tell this was bothering her. Whatever it was, we would get it out into the open and out of the way.
"What is this about?"
"I believe you already know the first part." I nodded.
"It has to do with Koenma, ne?" She looked away from me and didn't answer.
"I don't know how I'm going to tell you, but I guess it has to be done. It simply cannot wait any longer." I stared at her, giving her my full attention. "Well, it all started when he told me we needed to talk. I never really got the chance to realize that he was never really happy when he was with me. I was nervous of what he was going to tell me." She paused. "I was wrong in assuming that he loved me." She hid her eyes in her bangs. I couldn't possibly say anything to comfort her because I wouldn't lie to her. "He told me that he figured out his feelings for me and realized that he didn't love me, he loved Ikuko. I guess he was confused."
"That was still no reason to pull you in and hurt you like this." I said bitterly. She looked up at me in surprise. "I'm not going to hold my tongue anymore. You were just an experiment for him. He lied to you and let you believe that he loved you. I don't know how I managed to miss that but Hiei didn't. He told me. I couldn't tell you about it, though, knowing that I shouldn't enter other people's affairs. Well, now you know." I paused. She was staring at me, shocked. "In fact, he noticed it when I was ill and he came."
"What..?" Her voice was quiet and what I said to her sunk in. I was mad and that was obvious to her. I was beyond mad. I sat back and turned away from her, crossing my arms. I will admit that it hurt me to tell her but I didn't feel the pain. I was too blinded by anger. I could usually control it and tell her in a sensible way but when it came down to it, I didn't care as long as she got the truth. "How could he do that?"
"He is a lying--" I cut myself off and glared at something, willing it to break. The telephone was where my eyes stayed. I tried to will it to explode. That didn't work. It only helped to keep my mind from the subject at hand.
"You're not.." She trailed off. I could feel her eyes on me. My anger was slowly beginning to be replaced by my calm, emotionless self. I was finally able to put the anger and jealousy away. I wished I could go and train to let all of this pressure and stress out. I needed to pound something into the ground. "Why are you angry at him? I mean, I understand that you're my friend and all, but you're way too angry." I slapped around a mental image of Koenma in my head to rid it of the anger that was starting to calm. "You're acting like a jealous boyfriend." I stopped dead in my tracks, breathing and all.
"I'm not your boyfriend, so why would I be jealous?" I asked. It was delayed but who cares? I needed to keep myself hidden, secret. She would never feel the same way about me. She needed someone else who had a better life than me, who could love her freely and without fear of his past coming back to haunt him, and who would be there for her all the time. She didn't need me.
"I don't know.." She was too confused to figure me out. That was my hope. My only hope. If that failed, then I would have to confess myself and leave before she got caught up with me. In truth, I was still afraid of my past. I was still afraid to go back. There was nothing left for me there and if she found out, I would most definitely have to leave.
'But you promised her that you would stay by her.' Youko said, speaking up after his long silence. 'What kind of moron are you?'
'I'm you, Youko.'
'I am not the coward who is too afraid to tell her. I am not afraid of my past.' He said in a tone that I hated.
'Fine, you don't have to admit it.' I replied back to him in my thoughts. 'I will admit it for you. I am afraid. You are afraid. There is nothing left for us back there but it is the only option open to me if she figures it out.'
'Because you are too cowardly to tell her.' His dry tone got me aggravated.
'Why you--' I cut myself off. 'You can't call me that. You're afraid to go back.'
'So are you.' I wanted to throw him off a cliff after I strangled him. 'Nice thought. I'd like to see that. You throwing yourself off a cliff.'
"Damn you!" I didn't realize that I said it out loud. I was shaking with rage.
'You damn bastard!' I screamed at him, inside my head. 'Let me solve my own problem.'
'You've got more than one, Suuichi.' He said, before he faded to the back of my mind. I growled.
"Are you okay?" I heard her voice break through my barrier. "What's the matter?" I paled at least four times. I probably looked like a ghost.
"Did I say anything out loud?" I asked, turning to her with wide eyes. She nodded and I paled more.
"Only 'damn you'." She said, blinking. She looked confused, worried, and concerned. "Is there anything wrong?"
"Just an arguement with Youko." I answered quietly. She nodded thoughtfully.
"Over what, if I might ask?"
"Nothing special." I lied. She stared at me lamely. Why does no one believe me when I lie!?
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I hit a road block during the middle. *sigh* I was in the writing mood when I started it but I got to the middle and didn't know what to do next. That sucked. I continuously stared at it, reread it, and worked it out. I finally got it right and the way I wanted it. I have no homework for once, so I'll start the next chapter right now. *gasp* I know. A big shocker. n.n That's usually what I do when I work on this fic. I start the next chapter right after I finish the other. That's what happened before. I updated two chapters at the same time. Yayness!
-Jess-