-Delicate Petals-
See, here are the problems:
1. Kurama needs to stop thinking negatively. (Of course, he isn't gonna do that for a while.)
2. Botan needs to open her eyes and see how he feels for her. Why would he avoid her if he didn't love her? Obviousness.
3. Hiei should tell Yukina that he's her brother. *sigh* I'll handle this problem in recent chapters, maybe even this one.
4. This is the last problem. Koenma needs to get the stuffing beaten out of him. No, this will not happen in this fic. (*at the head of a swarm of angry fans* "LET'S GET HIM!")
*cough* Anyway, we're getting this chapter out now. I will finish this as soon as possible and update quickly. This chapter will hopefully make up for the lost amount of time. I've had a lot of homework and writer's block. Not a good combo. Now, without further problems!
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I felt trapped. Almost cornered. I knew Botan didn't believe me. I knew it was hard for me to lie. This situation was bad enough without my added problem. I was being a burden. She felt as if she needed to tell me. I feel as though I did this to her, even though I know I didn't. Maybe Koenma got jealous of all the attention she was giving me when I was sick. I shook my head. No thoughts of that.
"Kurama." Her voice was stern and solemn. "You can tell me anything you have on your mind." Should I avoid her again? No, that would hurt her. Then, if I went back to Makai, wouldn't it hurt her more? My thoughts swirled around in my head. They were all questions. Questions that had to do with her. I couldn't make up my mind with the snap of one's fingers. Why did this have to be so difficult? Could life just give me a break?
"I don't have anything that I want to tell anyone." I said sternly. She stared at me then sighed.
"We obviously have more to talk about, Kurama." She said in a worried tone. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Don't you trust me?" My heart almost stopped beating. Is that what she thought?
"Why would you think such a thing?" I asked in astonishment. She looked down at her hands. I did it again. I hurt her.
"You're not telling me a thing. Its like I'm telling you my life's story but you're only saying a few choice items. You're hiding something from me." I stood up and closed my eyes. "Kurama?"
"It isn't that I don't trust you." I said slowly, picking my words. "Its just that I don't want to hurt you anymore." I walked out of the room. The kitchen floor was cold against my feet. I felt vulnerable. I felt so trapped. The hunter was advancing and I was the fox with my foot caught in the trap. The hunter raised his gun. BOOM! I jumped when I felt someone touch me. I stiffened and, as coldly as I could, told myself to stop the nonsense.
"What do you mean that you don't want to hurt me?" Her voice was gentle, soothing. She was lulling me into a sense of security. She was luring me into her well-laid trap. I wasn't just going to walk right into it. I'm not going to tell her. I can't. I won't.
"You've been hurt enough. My words keep causing you pain." She wrapped her arms around me and I stiffened even more. I tried to keep my thoughts straight, laid out in a line. I tried to keep them from escaping my grasp and going all over the place. I lost my will and my control. My thoughts scattered, disappeared.
"You would never hurt me. The only way you could hurt me was to keep something important, something that's hurting you, from me. I only want you to do the same as I have. Tell me the story." She tightened her grip, sensing my discomfort. I gave a feeble attempt of trying to break away from her. The hunter got his fox.
"I-I wish I could.." I trailed off, unable to continue. My throat tightened up and I felt weak. Really weak. I felt like a fly caught in a spider's web. This spider was clever, cunning.
"You can tell me anything." She whispered. She was pressed against my back. I couldn't see her. I felt lost. I was lost in a maze.
"No.." I shook my head. I had to keep resisting. I was doing this for her. In her best interest. "Please.. don't make me tell you." My voice was soft and shaky. I was shaking.
"You don't have to tell me now. Tell me when you're ready." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. If I could see her eyes, they would show patience, wisdom. "Promise me that you will tell me, though. It would make you feel better to get it off your chest. You know I won't judge you."
"This is so much different than you think.." I felt her arms withdraw and turn me around. She gave me a small smile.
"I'll give you all the time you need, Kurama. I promise. Promise me that you will tell me." She stared into my eyes and I was unable to look away. I swallowed and nodded.
"I.. I promise.." She smiled and turned around. I watched her walk into the other room. My life was ending soon. I couldn't wait forever to tell her.
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My eyes were glued to the ceiling. I was sleeping in my room and Botan was in the guest room. I was comfortable, sure. I was lying on my bed, thinking those thoughts that were very important. Those deep thoughts that I could probably lose my sanity to. How was I going to gather enough courage to tell her that I love her more than she could imagine? That I went through pain, just to see her happy? I couldn't. I didn't even notice that my window opened and a familiar person climbed through until I heard a sarcastic chuckle.
"You're thinking so hard, I think I see smoke." I didn't look away from the ceiling.
"This is too important to joke about, Hiei."
"Hn." He answered. I heard him sit down on the spinning chair. "Whatever it is, it isn't my fault." I rolled my eyes and actually look over at him.
"No, it isn't. I had an arguement with Youko to make my life worse today. Read my memories if you want. Feel free." Hiei did so and I could tell. The glow faded from the eye and he raised an eyebrow.
"You had such an interesting day. So, Youko finally talked to you. I think you should listen to him." He paused, recalling something that was said, most likely. "He was right. You throwing yourself off a cliff just to kill him would be slightly amusing." I glared at him.
"Shut up." He smirked, but then it faded.
"You know you should tell her."
"I will."
"Two hundred years from now?" He asked sarcastically.
"Fine." I sat up and glared at him. "I'll tell her tomorrow night."
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5:30 AM. I was thinking of how to tell her. Over dinner sounded fine. It would give me all day to think of how to do it. Hiei had left after I talked to him about Yukina a half-hour ago. I sat up in bed and stared at the door. I wish I would be able to just say those words and leave. I sighed and got up, making my way slowly down to the kitchen.
"This sucks." I mumbled to myself. Why did I have to open my mouth and tell Hiei I was going to tell her today?
"Kurama-kun?" Botan asked groggily from behind me. I turned around and she smiled slightly at me.
"What are you doing up so early?" I asked, blinking. I tried to hide my nervousness and I guess I succeeded. She didn't say anything about it, so I figured I was fine.
"I don't have the right?" She asked sarcastically, giving me a look. I twitched and bit my lip.
"I-I didn't mean it that way." She smiled, which disarmed me.
"I know, I was just picking." Her dry tone made me cross my arms and give her a look.
"That was so obvious." I said mockingly. She slapped my arm and walked to the refridgerator.
"What is there to eat?" She asked, going through almost every jar and bowl in the entire thing.
"What do you want?"
"Wanna go out for breakfast in an hour or so? Your treat." I gave her a look but nodded anyway.
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We went to a small place and ordered. I was staring into my coffee wondering how to tell her. I had to tell her tonight, that was for sure. I told Hiei I would. He told me he would tell Yukina about being her brother. I chewed on my gum. Waiting for meals anywhere was like waiting for another Renaissance to happen. I stared out the window next. I was looking anywhere but her and I think it was annoying her.
"What is so interesting?"
"Traffic jam." I replied curtly. "The old man at the head of the line can't figure out which pedal is the one to push because he can't remember. The lady behind him is doing her make-up for work. The man behind her is talking on his cell phone. In the delivery truck behind him, the man is trying to remember where 2nd Ave. is. And the rest are beeping their horns and shouting out curses that only drivers know." She stared at me.
"I don't even want to know how you know that."
"Neither do I. Its very complicated. The last time I was here, this man ran a red light and hit this pizza delivery truck. The delivery guy complained that the order would be free if it wasn't on time. The man that ran the red light got charged for damage, the pizza delivery guy lost his job, and the man that ordered the pizza got it free." I said with a shrug. She blinked and smiled in an amused way.
"Sounds like its interesting out there." I nodded.
"There are a lot of things you can learn from watching traffic jams."
"Like?" She asked, obviously amused. I grinned at her.
"What not to do when driving." She giggled and shook her head. I blinked and stared at her with a serious look on my face but she kept laughing. "Every bit of it is true, dammit."
"I believe it." She said, biting back her laughter.
"Right." I looked back out the window and sighed.
"What about him?" I looked over at her and followed where she was pointing. "The guy on the motorcycle." I stared at him for a minute then smirked.
"He's wondering where the weight-loss program moved to." She laughed then shook her head. "Okay, seriously.. He's wondering where his bandana blew off." The guy was feeling his head and looking like he lost his wallet. "I believe I see it tied to the metal bar on the back." She laughed harder.
"Oh.. my.. god! We should go out like this more often." She said and blushed instantly. I stared at her, wondering what she meant by that. We finally got our food and Botan was afraid to look up at me, it seemed. She just stared at her food.
"Something wrong?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She looked up and shook her head.
"No, I just don't really have anything to say." I nodded once. I really wanted to figure out what she meant by what she said.
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Botan and I got in the door holding our sides, laughing. This old woman at the park had thought we were a couple, although I wished it were true. She rambled on and on about how cute we looked together. She asked us if we were going to get married. We tried to tell her that we were friends, but she wouldn't take that for an answer. She hit me with her purse and then her cane because I told her that we weren't a couple before she could interrupt again.
"I loved it when she hit you with her cane!" Botan said, laughing harder. I gave her a hurt look.
"She hit pretty hard for an old lady." I said with a smile as I wiped the tears from her face. She was laughing so hard she was crying.
"But then she chased you with her purse." She started laughing all over again.
"Had Hiei been there, he would've thought I was dumb for running from a little old lady." I said with a sigh. She looked over at me after she calmed down.
"I had a wonderful time today." I nodded, agreeing. "Although, that teenager at the park that had a crush on you." She crossed her arms. "I thought I might have to run from a fan club."
"Very funny." I said, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. "You're not jealous, are you?" I teased. She blushed and shook her head.
"Of course not." She waved her hand, disregarding that thought. "She was annoying." I bit back the urge to chuckle.
"You know, you look cute when you blush." I said with the look of pure innocence on my face. She stiffened and looked back at me. I could see a faint pink color lighting her flushed cheeks.
"So do you. When you blush, anyone can tell. Your face gets as red as your hair." She said with a smile. I gave her a hurt look.
"You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not!" She said indignantly.
"Right."
"I wasn't!" I looked at her with a calm, sarcastic look on my face. "Well, I wasn't!" I continued to stare calmly at her. She looked away and blushed.
"Right." I repeated and went into the kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee.
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n.n All done with this chapter! Woo!
I bet you can't wait 'till he tells her, ne? Hmm. Well, I'll write it as soon as possible.
-Jess-
See, here are the problems:
1. Kurama needs to stop thinking negatively. (Of course, he isn't gonna do that for a while.)
2. Botan needs to open her eyes and see how he feels for her. Why would he avoid her if he didn't love her? Obviousness.
3. Hiei should tell Yukina that he's her brother. *sigh* I'll handle this problem in recent chapters, maybe even this one.
4. This is the last problem. Koenma needs to get the stuffing beaten out of him. No, this will not happen in this fic. (*at the head of a swarm of angry fans* "LET'S GET HIM!")
*cough* Anyway, we're getting this chapter out now. I will finish this as soon as possible and update quickly. This chapter will hopefully make up for the lost amount of time. I've had a lot of homework and writer's block. Not a good combo. Now, without further problems!
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I felt trapped. Almost cornered. I knew Botan didn't believe me. I knew it was hard for me to lie. This situation was bad enough without my added problem. I was being a burden. She felt as if she needed to tell me. I feel as though I did this to her, even though I know I didn't. Maybe Koenma got jealous of all the attention she was giving me when I was sick. I shook my head. No thoughts of that.
"Kurama." Her voice was stern and solemn. "You can tell me anything you have on your mind." Should I avoid her again? No, that would hurt her. Then, if I went back to Makai, wouldn't it hurt her more? My thoughts swirled around in my head. They were all questions. Questions that had to do with her. I couldn't make up my mind with the snap of one's fingers. Why did this have to be so difficult? Could life just give me a break?
"I don't have anything that I want to tell anyone." I said sternly. She stared at me then sighed.
"We obviously have more to talk about, Kurama." She said in a worried tone. "Why won't you tell me what's wrong? Don't you trust me?" My heart almost stopped beating. Is that what she thought?
"Why would you think such a thing?" I asked in astonishment. She looked down at her hands. I did it again. I hurt her.
"You're not telling me a thing. Its like I'm telling you my life's story but you're only saying a few choice items. You're hiding something from me." I stood up and closed my eyes. "Kurama?"
"It isn't that I don't trust you." I said slowly, picking my words. "Its just that I don't want to hurt you anymore." I walked out of the room. The kitchen floor was cold against my feet. I felt vulnerable. I felt so trapped. The hunter was advancing and I was the fox with my foot caught in the trap. The hunter raised his gun. BOOM! I jumped when I felt someone touch me. I stiffened and, as coldly as I could, told myself to stop the nonsense.
"What do you mean that you don't want to hurt me?" Her voice was gentle, soothing. She was lulling me into a sense of security. She was luring me into her well-laid trap. I wasn't just going to walk right into it. I'm not going to tell her. I can't. I won't.
"You've been hurt enough. My words keep causing you pain." She wrapped her arms around me and I stiffened even more. I tried to keep my thoughts straight, laid out in a line. I tried to keep them from escaping my grasp and going all over the place. I lost my will and my control. My thoughts scattered, disappeared.
"You would never hurt me. The only way you could hurt me was to keep something important, something that's hurting you, from me. I only want you to do the same as I have. Tell me the story." She tightened her grip, sensing my discomfort. I gave a feeble attempt of trying to break away from her. The hunter got his fox.
"I-I wish I could.." I trailed off, unable to continue. My throat tightened up and I felt weak. Really weak. I felt like a fly caught in a spider's web. This spider was clever, cunning.
"You can tell me anything." She whispered. She was pressed against my back. I couldn't see her. I felt lost. I was lost in a maze.
"No.." I shook my head. I had to keep resisting. I was doing this for her. In her best interest. "Please.. don't make me tell you." My voice was soft and shaky. I was shaking.
"You don't have to tell me now. Tell me when you're ready." Her voice was soft, almost a whisper. If I could see her eyes, they would show patience, wisdom. "Promise me that you will tell me, though. It would make you feel better to get it off your chest. You know I won't judge you."
"This is so much different than you think.." I felt her arms withdraw and turn me around. She gave me a small smile.
"I'll give you all the time you need, Kurama. I promise. Promise me that you will tell me." She stared into my eyes and I was unable to look away. I swallowed and nodded.
"I.. I promise.." She smiled and turned around. I watched her walk into the other room. My life was ending soon. I couldn't wait forever to tell her.
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My eyes were glued to the ceiling. I was sleeping in my room and Botan was in the guest room. I was comfortable, sure. I was lying on my bed, thinking those thoughts that were very important. Those deep thoughts that I could probably lose my sanity to. How was I going to gather enough courage to tell her that I love her more than she could imagine? That I went through pain, just to see her happy? I couldn't. I didn't even notice that my window opened and a familiar person climbed through until I heard a sarcastic chuckle.
"You're thinking so hard, I think I see smoke." I didn't look away from the ceiling.
"This is too important to joke about, Hiei."
"Hn." He answered. I heard him sit down on the spinning chair. "Whatever it is, it isn't my fault." I rolled my eyes and actually look over at him.
"No, it isn't. I had an arguement with Youko to make my life worse today. Read my memories if you want. Feel free." Hiei did so and I could tell. The glow faded from the eye and he raised an eyebrow.
"You had such an interesting day. So, Youko finally talked to you. I think you should listen to him." He paused, recalling something that was said, most likely. "He was right. You throwing yourself off a cliff just to kill him would be slightly amusing." I glared at him.
"Shut up." He smirked, but then it faded.
"You know you should tell her."
"I will."
"Two hundred years from now?" He asked sarcastically.
"Fine." I sat up and glared at him. "I'll tell her tomorrow night."
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5:30 AM. I was thinking of how to tell her. Over dinner sounded fine. It would give me all day to think of how to do it. Hiei had left after I talked to him about Yukina a half-hour ago. I sat up in bed and stared at the door. I wish I would be able to just say those words and leave. I sighed and got up, making my way slowly down to the kitchen.
"This sucks." I mumbled to myself. Why did I have to open my mouth and tell Hiei I was going to tell her today?
"Kurama-kun?" Botan asked groggily from behind me. I turned around and she smiled slightly at me.
"What are you doing up so early?" I asked, blinking. I tried to hide my nervousness and I guess I succeeded. She didn't say anything about it, so I figured I was fine.
"I don't have the right?" She asked sarcastically, giving me a look. I twitched and bit my lip.
"I-I didn't mean it that way." She smiled, which disarmed me.
"I know, I was just picking." Her dry tone made me cross my arms and give her a look.
"That was so obvious." I said mockingly. She slapped my arm and walked to the refridgerator.
"What is there to eat?" She asked, going through almost every jar and bowl in the entire thing.
"What do you want?"
"Wanna go out for breakfast in an hour or so? Your treat." I gave her a look but nodded anyway.
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We went to a small place and ordered. I was staring into my coffee wondering how to tell her. I had to tell her tonight, that was for sure. I told Hiei I would. He told me he would tell Yukina about being her brother. I chewed on my gum. Waiting for meals anywhere was like waiting for another Renaissance to happen. I stared out the window next. I was looking anywhere but her and I think it was annoying her.
"What is so interesting?"
"Traffic jam." I replied curtly. "The old man at the head of the line can't figure out which pedal is the one to push because he can't remember. The lady behind him is doing her make-up for work. The man behind her is talking on his cell phone. In the delivery truck behind him, the man is trying to remember where 2nd Ave. is. And the rest are beeping their horns and shouting out curses that only drivers know." She stared at me.
"I don't even want to know how you know that."
"Neither do I. Its very complicated. The last time I was here, this man ran a red light and hit this pizza delivery truck. The delivery guy complained that the order would be free if it wasn't on time. The man that ran the red light got charged for damage, the pizza delivery guy lost his job, and the man that ordered the pizza got it free." I said with a shrug. She blinked and smiled in an amused way.
"Sounds like its interesting out there." I nodded.
"There are a lot of things you can learn from watching traffic jams."
"Like?" She asked, obviously amused. I grinned at her.
"What not to do when driving." She giggled and shook her head. I blinked and stared at her with a serious look on my face but she kept laughing. "Every bit of it is true, dammit."
"I believe it." She said, biting back her laughter.
"Right." I looked back out the window and sighed.
"What about him?" I looked over at her and followed where she was pointing. "The guy on the motorcycle." I stared at him for a minute then smirked.
"He's wondering where the weight-loss program moved to." She laughed then shook her head. "Okay, seriously.. He's wondering where his bandana blew off." The guy was feeling his head and looking like he lost his wallet. "I believe I see it tied to the metal bar on the back." She laughed harder.
"Oh.. my.. god! We should go out like this more often." She said and blushed instantly. I stared at her, wondering what she meant by that. We finally got our food and Botan was afraid to look up at me, it seemed. She just stared at her food.
"Something wrong?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. She looked up and shook her head.
"No, I just don't really have anything to say." I nodded once. I really wanted to figure out what she meant by what she said.
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Botan and I got in the door holding our sides, laughing. This old woman at the park had thought we were a couple, although I wished it were true. She rambled on and on about how cute we looked together. She asked us if we were going to get married. We tried to tell her that we were friends, but she wouldn't take that for an answer. She hit me with her purse and then her cane because I told her that we weren't a couple before she could interrupt again.
"I loved it when she hit you with her cane!" Botan said, laughing harder. I gave her a hurt look.
"She hit pretty hard for an old lady." I said with a smile as I wiped the tears from her face. She was laughing so hard she was crying.
"But then she chased you with her purse." She started laughing all over again.
"Had Hiei been there, he would've thought I was dumb for running from a little old lady." I said with a sigh. She looked over at me after she calmed down.
"I had a wonderful time today." I nodded, agreeing. "Although, that teenager at the park that had a crush on you." She crossed her arms. "I thought I might have to run from a fan club."
"Very funny." I said, glancing at her out of the corner of my eye. "You're not jealous, are you?" I teased. She blushed and shook her head.
"Of course not." She waved her hand, disregarding that thought. "She was annoying." I bit back the urge to chuckle.
"You know, you look cute when you blush." I said with the look of pure innocence on my face. She stiffened and looked back at me. I could see a faint pink color lighting her flushed cheeks.
"So do you. When you blush, anyone can tell. Your face gets as red as your hair." She said with a smile. I gave her a hurt look.
"You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not!" She said indignantly.
"Right."
"I wasn't!" I looked at her with a calm, sarcastic look on my face. "Well, I wasn't!" I continued to stare calmly at her. She looked away and blushed.
"Right." I repeated and went into the kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee.
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n.n All done with this chapter! Woo!
I bet you can't wait 'till he tells her, ne? Hmm. Well, I'll write it as soon as possible.
-Jess-