You see a snail with the word 'plot' painted on its shell. A group of spectators watch as it labors to move... 1 centimeter. "Oh my Goddess, it's moving!" Confetti and balloons rain down. The authoress and her pet watch with looks of hatred and amusement, respectively.

Lynx: I will decapitate them and drink their blood.

Gil (from Dragon Knights): C'mon, you know you deserve this. Your lazy and you haven't typed anything for days.

Lynx: Shut up slave. -turns to see reader- Oh, hello. Right now I'm seeing neon green shoopufs with bat wings for ears and buggy frog eyes, so Gil will take over for me momentarily, and will later become my co-host. S'cuse me will I skin the mutated shoopufs.

Gil: -watches with sweatdrop- I can't believe she owns me.

Disclaimer : I don't own Gil or Dragon Knights(Oh, how I wish I did), or Final Fantasy and its affiliates.

And a big thanks to all of my reviewers. I didn't know I would get this many. Yes, twelve is a lot to me. I'm sad and pathetic. Please review.

On with the Randomness!

Ari POV

Lulu, Auron, and I snuck in late. Or should I say early? It's 6am. The alcohol wore off about an hour after we left, but why abandon all that fun? It was too good to resist.

We stopped short in front of my house. Wakka was sitting in the middle of the street, poking a dead bird. Didn't he pass out last night or something? "I thought I told you no going off my property without permission." He looked up at us with wide pupils and twitching eyelids. Wait, was that powder on his nose?

"The overlord bird gave me permisison, ya. He also told me he's a direct discipile of Yevons and it might be a good idea if you look for a way to send us home. He knows all, ya."

"Riiiiiiight." Judging from Auron and Lulu's looks, they've never seen Wakka acting like a retard. Either they don't have drugs on Spira, or they do and Wakka doesn't use them. But wouldn't that mean he found drugs in my house...?

"Where's everyone else?"

"Passed out in front of the game system. The bird knows all because Yevon supplies the answers."

"If he knows all, then why doesn't he know how to get us home?" Auron drawled.

I whimpered. "Wha"

"He's only human."

"Bu"

"It's a bird!" Lulu snapped. "A dead bird. A dead fried bird."

"Wh"

"He seems to be uncharred."

"Fire." Lulu said monotonously.

We watched as the bird burst into flames. It was so purtyfull and cheered me up a bit...happiness gone. Now I'm stuck in a cold puddle of sadness. Oh dear, I might catch a chill.

"Wakka, you do know it's burning, right?" He stared at it for a couple of seconds before screaming.

"Oh my Yevon, he's burning, ya!"

"'Ya', he is. Delayed reaction much?"

Hey, everyone was ignoring me! "Shaddup and let me explain my feelings!" Everyone stared.

"You have feelings?"

"Do you guys really want to go home that badly?"

"...It would be best that way. We don't belong here."

"But you guys don't know what happens at the end! You can't go back!" They paused to think about that. Auron finally answered.

"We must accept it, no matter how horrible it is."

"Shove the honorific 'stick-up-my-ass' act! What if you were meant to stay here?" Lulu paused, seeming to think carefully about her answer.

"We'll think about it. Besides, it's not just our decision. Yuna's still on her pilgramage, and she might still feel she must complete it, no matter what the cost."

"Can't we just let them leave?" Auron whined. "I don't wanna be a guardian to a whiny brat."

"It all depends on fate. We should probably make sure the others aren't destroying my house. C'mon puppy." I snapped a collar and leash on Wakka and dragged him away as he continued to stare at 'the supreme leader who's will is the same as Yevon's bloodthirsty will'. Please don't ask where the leash and collar. Therapy is expensive these days, don't you think? And I am losing closet space. Pity.

AN: This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I decided to chop it up. So you can thank me for getting this chapter sooner. The next chapter is finding a way to send the FFX crew back to Spira

I might not post the next chapter for a while, I have school work, and I want to be selfish for a while and play some video-games and finish up a one-shot I'm working on.

Gil: In other words, don't expect an update anytime soon, because she's a lazy and selfish bi

Lynx: RR please! Gil shut up! ...Damn, I need Tylenol.