Disclaimer: I don't own the troll lady.

After the others woke up 3rd POV

"Okay, today we should probably see if there is a way to send you home, so...Rikku, why do you have a pacifier?" It was on a chain around her neck, so when she spit it out, it dripped drool on her shirt. "Cuzit'smineandit'scoolandIlikeitand--"

"And it keeps the brat from taling." I-chan said dryly while popping it back into the hyper-active teens mouth. "I heard of that shop Cat goes to, the one with all the books and trinkets concerning celtic religion, witches, white magic, and stuff like that. We should probably go there."

"There's also that one...um...where is it? Damn, I had a thought and must of lost it somewhere." Lynx muttered. She got down on her knees and started looking under all the furnituere.

"The thought must of got lonely." Tidus said in a poor imitation of her voice. 'Oh yeah, finally got to use that against her! Booyah, I rock.' Then Lynx pulled his foot out from under him and looked at his shoe closely before gasping.

"You stepped on my idea. It went floofy, poof, poofies, zoomaroo, and then you stepped on it! It was so young. WHYYYYYYYY! WHY NOT TIDUS! WE"D ALL BE HAPPY thank you very much."

"Was there a point to this little act of insanity." Seymour asked irritably.

Lynx blinked. And stared. And then she blinked again before breaking out in a grin of an idiot oblivious to all emotions except those of an irritated Maester so she could annoy him even more and maybe everyone else. "I think there was a point somewhere, but I lost it. Shall I look for it? I can, you know. I have eyeballs. See, here they are. Unless they too fly away somewhere, like Oklahoma or Japan. I have always wanted to see Japan. Maybe if we throw talcum powder on the floor, we can find my point easier."

"LYNX" I-chan yelled. "YOU are going to TELL US YOUR IDEA NOW, or FACE the CONSEQUENCES!"

"Meep!" Lynx squeaked. "Well, there's also that shop downtown, the one across the street from the lady who says those weird things."

"Oh, are you talking about the lady who yelled at that guy to stop eyeing all the 'young ladies' or she'd hunt him down, rip his eyes out, and shove them so far down his throat they came out of his--"

"Yup, that's it!" Everyone interuppted Ari before she could say the last word. Lynx giggled. "She's nice, and really funny too."

"M'kay, so we have two possible places. We can split up, each of our groups take a different stor, and can reach each other on our cellphones." She pointed in a random direction, indicating they should line up. "I'll choose whoever I want to be in my group. You either listen to me, or I trap you in a room with no windows and Lynx on a sugar high with her WHOLE collection of anime stuff." They instantly shut up, for they had quickly learned Lynx plus anime equalled ferrety pickles, and that was not good.

"Ari and I are the only ones with cellphones, so we are the group leaders. Auron, Seymour, and as much as it pains me to say this, Tidus and Wakka will come with me." Seymour raised an eyebrow.

"If it pains you to bring them, then why not choose someone else? Are you really such a glutton for punishment?"

"Nonononononono! Ari has all my favorite music downloaded. Can't go without it. Must go with her. Or my brain will explode and then I shall go on a rampage, destroying everything in my path, without a thought, because MY BRAIN EXPLODED!" Lynx was laying on the ground rocking back and forth by the time she finished her scary little speech. Everyone who wasn't previously was now a little scared of her.

"You don't have a brain. But going on a rampage would be different from what you normally do everyday how?"

"Because I am thinking about what I'm doing. That's why I do it. Because if I didn't do it I wouldn't be thinking about it, even if I don't have a brain, and we should probably go now, beacause the readers are getting impatient."

"The who now?" They left, forgetting all about poor Kimahri, who just stood there. Wouldn't you forget about him too, since he's so silent all the time? They're already used to him, so they don't find it strange a giant cat with half a horn and armor is standing in the middle of Ari's living room. They are not normal, unlike about...maybe twenty of you out there. So Kimahri got to play video games instead of something boring, like searching for a portal to another dimension.

Group 1: I-chan, Seymour, Auron, Tidus, Wakka

"This is the place?" It was a tall, dark building, surrounded by crows and had freaky little dummys propped up on sticks in front.

"It may not have a crazy lady in front, but I could recognize this building in a whole group of building painted yellow. Now stop being chicken wusses and come on. It's not going to bite."

"The items in there just might," Seymour muttered, remembering a table that was soon turned into firewood after an...interesting...couple of weeks.

"Hey, anyone in here?" Wakka called. "Nope, looks like no one's here, ya, lets go!"

"Hellooo," a thin voice called, startling them. "Welcome dearies, to my shop of mixed knick-knacks and such. Is there anything specific I can get for you?" The speaker was a little troll looking woman with a long nose and a wart. Her eyes looked a little offset, giving her a slightly crazed appearance. She had some weird gypsy clothing on.

"Do you have any spells of instant death?" Seymour asked.

"Oh, we got that." Seymour now looked like his meaning in life was fufilled. Well actually, that wouldn't make him happy. Okay, he looked like he got to kill Tidus and Wakka by putting them in a log house and blowing it up with lots of gunpowder.

"He means books or anyhting related to other dimensions and how to get to them."

"Oh, we got that too." She pulled out a cheesewheel.

oO "That's a cheesewheel..."

"A cheesewheel from another dimension." Tidus and Wakka crowded around her.

"Coo-el!" Auron pulled out his flask.

"This is going to be a while..."

Group 2: Ari, Lynx, Yuna, Lulu, Rikku

"Bye crazy lady!" Lynx and Rikku sang as they skipped towards the store they were supposed to be in already.

Lulu was smiling faintly. "That was very informational. I like her bloodthirsty tactics."

"Lulu, you're really scaring me." Yuna shivered. "I don't think I've ever seen you like this before."

"This place and these people bring out the best in me."

"We can debate Lulu's sanity, or lack thereof, later. Spread out and look for something that might be useful." Rikku immediatly grabbed Lynx's hand and literally dragged her away. Ari smiled as she tripped over something reeeeeeeeeeeally tiny and both girls went flying. "I think it's good you guys are here. Lynx and Rikku seem to have established an almost sisterly relationship. I think they understand each other better, because we have yet to fully comprehend how that insane little fire kittens mind works."

"If she even has a mind."

"I'm sure she does. Just not a brain." The group searched for years, and years, and finally after they had starved so much that there acts of cannibalism, stripping the skin and muscle and ligaments from there arms and backs and toes (which tasted very good, actually), they collapsed into a grotesque pile of death, decay, and stupidity, for there was a chinese food shop across the street. And then Ari stopped daydreaming and started really looking. They searched the place from top to bottom, and even under the floorboards after one incident, but managed to find nothing but a talking rabbit with solid green eyes, which Yuna promptly smashe because she insisted it was and e-vile creature come to suck out there spleens.

"D'ya think the others have had any luck?" Ari's phone started ringing to the tone of Gwen Stefani's 'Hollaback Girl'. Lynx started her own little dance-cheer thing on top of the counter, until Ari answered it. "Hello?" She greeted I-chan as normally as she could with a half-demon latched onto her ankle with her teeth digging in. As long as she didn't try to pull it out, the skin would stay on the bone. "No, we haven't...are you sure?...a WHAT!...you have got to be fucking joking, and I don't like it!" Her eyelid twitched. "Re-he-heally...alrighty than, see you." She stood in disbelief before hitting Lynx with a pipe. "You guys won't believe it until you see it. If this...thingy-ma-bobber...turns out to be real, you guys are going home." They stood in silence, letting this new information sink in. They were content to be silent until Rikku decided she needed to speak.

"Where are we going?"

"We're off to see the gizzard!" Lynx screeched. "The malevolent gizzard of gauze! Because, because, because, because, because! The wicked, wicked, wicked Filtch is dead! Follow the yellow brick toad! Follow it off of the road! Follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the, follow the hopping corpse!" Then Rikku picked up on the lyrics. And they annoyed the hell out of there friends, and scared several pedestrians so much, they called the cracker barrel. But when the Men In White arrived (insert Men In Black music), they found two normal girls, albeit dressed strangely, walking silently behind some more weirdly dressed people. So the people who called were hauled off to be pumped full of drugs and to find out if the rumors you can be someone's asylum bitch is true.

AN: I just love this chapter for some reason. Maybe it has to do with the song at the end. I'm going to sing it in school and see how many strange looks I get!

thanx to all who reviewed!

jamesexclamationpoint : Why thank you very much! I do try to write this to be as funny as possible while still staying with the plot.

I'm Not Telling You : I did not thank you last chapter. Even if I'm not sure if you're reading this, I shall thank you so maybe the spirit of a chicken who died by an axe murderer will give this to you.

Dr. Wilopolis : If only, if only, eh? Too bad that doesn't happen at the end of the game, Kimahri must be really patient to put up with him that long.

InsanityCreator : Bow before the almighty Matron. does elaborate bow and lands on face Spring Break is almost over...I'm bored and I actually want to go to school. Sad, isn't it? Say hi to the moogles for me.

: Bow before the almighty Matron. does elaborate bow and lands on face Spring Break is almost over...I'm bored and I actually to go to school. Sad, isn't it? Say hi to the moogles for me.

Cookies, blood, and sugary products to whoever guesses where I borrowed the troll lady. I'm curious to see how many people actually watch that show too.

My damn computer keeps getting rid of my extra spaces, dashes, astericks, and such. IT"S SO FREAKING ANNOYING!

And I recommend listening to Hollaback Girl. I think it's good anyway.