Matron Raenee : I love the new name! hugs Thank you so much, you're so nice! hands skittles and Kupo Nuts
darkestsoul : Yes, it's the universe transporter! With this, you too can enter any universe! Be a blood-thirsty villain, a weirdo mary-sue or gary-sue, even force people into your favorite yaoi pairings! warning! Not suitable for anyone, ever. Side-effects include nausea, vomiting, death, liver problems, heart failure, brain rotting, mind loosing, and so many other things, this is illegal! Do not use if you are smoking, pregnant, or wish to keep your sanity. Consult yor doctor if you bleed from your eyeballs constantly, but it's okay if you bleed a little. Thank you for your praise.
Dr.Wilopolis : How the HELL does that head keep talking! Hm, try feeding them to the penguins. Maybe they'll die. -giggles- I'm glad you enjoy this fic!
Rage Aomori : Yes, it does tend to have those side effects. And if you ask Insanity Raenee, I am a little bloodthirsty. It pops up a little in all my stories. hands you cheesewheel Put it on a sacred alter and bow before it seventeen times a day. You must sacrifice a pink striped bison to it every day. May good fortune come your way. bows
Well, that was rather long-winded. Don't like it? TOO BAD! -laughs insanely until she faints from lack of oxygen-
The group stared at the troll-gypsy-lady. "You are playing mind games with us. You showed us a hubcap, a cheesewheel, a pocupine, pinecones, several species of monkeys, a birds claw, and a furby. While a furby is evil and probably from another dimension, it does not take you to different dimensions, unless it drives you insane. Now you show us a dumpster, and expect us to believe it allows you to travel between dimensions! Are you on crack, or just insane"
"...Maybe a little of both"
Lynx sighed. "I called Cat. She should be here soon to see if this dumpster is real or not." The troll lady smiled.
"Well, I have buisness inside." She walked off, rather stupidly trusting them to not steal her merchandise.
"What does she have that's so important? This place is practically deserted." Auron noted.
Troll Lady's office-
"Hello money. I love you." She sighed happily as she rolled around on a kings ransom stored in the basement.
Back with our mental patients------
Several minutes later, about the time when Lynx is so bored she starts chasing her own tail(even if it was a dog trait), a girl of about twelve walked up. "Hello my insane little sponges. Are you taking your medication regularly"
"Everyone, this is Cat. She will be able to sort out this little fiasco. She's a pagan witch, and she knows how to tell these things"
"Yup yup, that's right. Now stand back or I shall hit you with this hardcover copy of 'The Mists of Avalon'. Eight hundred and seventy six pages will hurt, I guarentee you." Everyone hurriedly backed up, really not wanting to be near her when she had that book. She sat staring at the dumpster, then she dropped a bag of herbs into the dumpster, and looked pleased as it flashed white. "It's the real deal alright. Now about my payment..." The three psycho girls sighed and handed her Twizzlers. "With these, our team can't lose the game tonight! See ya"
"Okay, losers in first." I-chan dropped Tidus, Wakka, and Rikku in the dumpster. Yuna jumped in after receiving a glare and I-chan snapped her teeth at her. "Everyone else, make yourselves comfortable," she said with a matronly smile.
"Wait, where's Kimahri?" He stepped out of the shadows next to Ari, making her jump. "Gah, don't do that! Okay now, how do we start"
HOLD IT! a voice thundered. OUT OF THE DUMPSTER.
"Um, who are you?" Yuna asked timidly.
ME? OH, UM, CRAP. WASN'T PREPARED FOR THIS... I AM THE SPIRIT OF THE GARBAGE DUMPSTER. TAKE THE FINAL FANTASY WARRIORS BACK TO THE PLANT SPRITES DOMAIN. I WILL SEND MY ACOLYTE. ...WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? FLEE IN TERROR BEFORE ME!
"Are you God?" Rikku asked.
WHAT TH-- I JUST TOLD YOU, I'M THE SPIRIT OF THE DUMPSTER. DO WHAT I SAY AND YOUR QUESTIONS WILL BE ANSWERED! UNLESS THEY'RE STUPID ONES, LIKE THE ONE YOU JUST ASKED.
"Whatever, crazy person," Lynx said. "We're gonna make cookies, so you can't show up for another forty-five minutes or my dragon-gerbil minions will be forced to attack. Rikku, I give you the privelage of being my assistant. Everyone else must must stay out of the kitchen, or else. Seriously, be afraid, my dragon-gerbils are vicious little monsters."
"Okay Rikku, this is very simple. You're going to help me make cookies, right"
"Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!" She responded energetically, her braids whipping up and down as she nodded.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" I-chan asked. "This is Rikku we're talking about"
"And my damn kitchen. Which I'll probably end up cleaning"
"Relax, she can't mess this up. They're no-bake. I can make them, with minimal problems." She seemed rather proud of this fact.
While they tried to figure out where she could ever mess this up, a badly shaking Tidus fell into the room. "It's a conspiracy I tell you! The Fayth are going to steal my coffee, and while I'm weak they'll get rid of me"
"This is bad how"
"The Fayth are using robotic break-dancing penguins and they'll be here any moment"
Lynx gasped. "The fiends," she hissed. "I must go penguin proof the house. Away!" She rushed off, most likely going to accidently destroy something rather than help anything.
During this time, Tidus managed to vibrate across the floor, run into the table, then land on I-chan's shoes. "The hell!" she cried, zapping him with her pom-pom. "That acolytes going to be here in less than an hour, and tou get a caffeine high"
He was saved from answering, not like he could in his current state, by Wakka stumbling in the room. Who just happened to have white powder on his nose. "Tellytubbies are dancing outside and it's raining gold calculators." He looked at Lynx. "If you smack a midget with a sausage, Yevon will come"
"You even think about it, and I'll rip your voicebox out, then laugh as you bleed and die slowly and painfully." Wakka left quickly, smacking into walls. "I seriously think something is wrong with hi--" she was interrupted when Lulu ran in, stumbling slightly.
"I heard 'laugh', 'die', and 'slowly and painfully'. Why aren't I the one causing it?" She spotted Tidus' charred form. "Thunder! AHAHAHAHA!" Auron quietly edged into the kitchen.
"Auron," I-chan said warningly. "Is she drunk?" He shifted uncomfortably under her glare.
"Mayyybeeee"
"'Maybe' meaning how many bottles"
"...I lost count"
"..." I-chan closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. "You'd better follow her and keep her from getting in trouble, or may Hyne and Soa help you. I. Will. Kill. You"
Auron smiled innocently, and ran off after Lulu like there was a demon on his heels. But it wasn't, it was only Matron. Who is wayyyyy scarier than a demon. From outside they could hear explosions and Lulu yelling "Auron shared.
Ari shook her head. "They do remember the acolyte will be here soon, don't they?" I-chan smiled.
"Who cares? Lets go blackmail and extort Yuna and stare at Seymour." Lynx nodded in agreement.
"Yes, yes, go do that and get out of here. I'm posting Celticera and Olina as guards." Two medium sized gerbils with dragon wings, fangs, and claws flew in and snuggled Lynx. Tidus was suddenly up and holding Olina by the scruff of her neck.
"This squirt's what we're supposed to be afraid of? I've fought fiends with bigger fangs than this." Olina stared at him wide-eyed before biting him on the nose. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh"
Lynx pulled her off, not as gently as she could of. "You might want to get something for that. Dragon-gerbil spit can be deadly. Or you could lose your nose." She didn't seem very concerned. Ari sighed.
"Come on, I probably have something for that. It should at least let you keep your nose." Rikku giggled from imagining him without a nose. Lynx's minions growled, and everybody else cleared out of there faster than a rabbit on a cloudy Tuesday, juggling tapioca, singing the Canadian anthem in Russian. Which, when you think about it, isn't that fast.
"Lets get ready to horribly botch this up!" She had no idea how right she was, because really, she's not psychic. Or Santa Claus. The fat guy knows everything, like a stalker. And Lynx, while she really like some anime characters is not a psychic fat stalker in a red suit.