Interviews Gone Wrong: Inuyasha Style
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Inuyasha: A Feudal Fairytale is a copyright of Rumiko Takahashi/Shogakukan, Viz Comics, and Yomiuri Sunrise Television. Interviews Gone Wrong: Inuyasha Style is my property.
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Note: Yes, this is comedy, parody, and satire, if you will. It is highly ridiculous on purpose. I do use the dreaded 'sweat drop' because it really fits with what I'm making fun of.
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Momo: Welcome to another presentation of Interviews Gone Wrong. Tonight we interview the cast of Inuyasha to get the story behind the popular anime.
(In a dim room lit with candles, comfortable plush chairs and romantic design.)
Momo: Hi, I'm Momo and I'm here with the cast of Inuyasha. Let's begin shall we.
Inuyasha: When the show started, I didn't know how popular I'd be… I mean what's so unusual about having dog-ears and being a hanyou anyway?
Momo: Right… (sweat drops) Uhh… did you hook up with anyone off set?
Inuyasha: (blushing, face turning red) Feh, shut up! (He turns around hoping no one will notice.)
Momo: Let us talk about your temper. Rumor has it you're quite hot-tempered.
Shippo: Inuyasha can be so mean sometimes. Once I asked if he could hand me chopsticks and he hit me on the head. I had three large bumps for over a week!
Momo: Really?
Shippo: Yeah, but that's not as bad as Sesshomaru. He's scary! Once he used his whip on me.
Momo: Whip? That's sounds kinky.
Shippo: Uhh… poison's not my thing.
Momo: Oh, you could have mentioned that one earlier.
Koga: That mutt face is soo pathetic. On the first day, I told him Kagome was mine and he acted so childish. She needs a real man… err… youkai to love her.
Momo: So what's with that skirt thing that you wear?
Koga: (confused) Skirt thing? Oh, my fur. Want to see underneath?
Ayame: Hey, Koga's mine! Stay away bitch! (Feels hand grope her bottom.) Huhh!
Sango: Hiraikotsu!
Miroku: Ouch! You really didn't have to do that.
Kikyo: (flatly) I'm dead.
Kanna: (monotone) I'm nothingness; I'm the void.
Everyone else: (sweat drops) Huh?
Kirara: Grrr… mau mao maow mau.
Momo: Kirara you're saying that Miroku opened a brothel secretly.
Shippo: (elaborating) Yeah, Naraku was his business partner. I heard that Myoga was there every night till it closed down, something about the youkai prostitutes kept killing the customers.
Momo: Wow! Shippo you talk a lot, on the show we never see this side of you.
Shippo: (sighs) I know. (hangs head down) That's the curse of being an underdeveloped character. What no one knows is that I spied on everyone with Jaken.
Sesshomaru: (eyes close to slits, hard edge to voice) Is it true Jaken?
Jaken: Gulp! (quietly) Yes, Lord Sesshomaru.
(Without pause Sesshomaru draws Tokijin and instantly kills Jaken.)
Kagome: I have a confession to make.
(Everyone stares at her, feeling awkward she blushes.)
Kagome: Uh… Inuyasha… remember that day in the hot springs? Well, I'm sort of pregnant.
Kikyo: Die Kagome! (Strings bow ready to fire. Is strangled by a snake.)
Kagome: Tsubaki?
Tsubaki: She always did rub me the wrong way.
Kikyo: (barely audible) I'm dead… again. (Eyes go blank. Suddenly Naraku has urge to hump her dead body.)
Miroku: (Clearly disgusted like everyone else.) Guess he was just a closet Necrophiliac.
Everyone else: EWW!
Miroku: So you knocked up Kagome? Good job Inuyasha!
Inuyasha: (blushing, attempting to be tough) Yeah, what of it!
Koga: (pissed) You… what… with my woman!
Inuyasha: Guess you could call it a permanent marking you idiot!
(Inuyasha and Koga disappear fighting off camera.)
Miroku: Sango want to have my children?
Sango: I'd rather have Sesshomaru's first.
Sesshomaru: Want a one-night stand… I don't return calls.
Sango: Yeah, sure. (They walk off to the janitors closet. Soon muffled whip sounds leak out of the closet.)
Miroku: (He turns to Kagura) Want to bear my children?
Kagura: I'm barren.
Miroku: Want to have no strings attached sex?
Kagura: Okay, what can you do with that wind tunnel? (Miroku cocks an eyebrow.)
Miroku: Let's be voyeuristic and do it on your feather for everyone to see!
Kagura: Forget it, I have my standards you know!
Kanna: (to Kagura) Want to make love to the void?
Kagura: Let's go! Bring the mirror. (Kagura and Kanna disappear.)
Miroku: (crestfallen) How come I always end up alone?
Shippo: 'Cuz some people really shouldn't procreate.
(Inuyasha returns, Koga limps back behind him.)
Kagome: (emotionless) I'm dead.
Everyone still there: Huhh?
Kagome: (embarrassed) Sorry, I must have channeled Kikyo.
Inuyasha: Uh, Kagome you can't channel.
Kagome: (blushing) Oh yeah!
Shippo: Creepy. (everyone shivers)
Momo: This is an awful interview. I didn't get to ask any of the questions I wanted to. (Stops and feels hand grope bottom.)
Miroku: Want to bear my children?
Momo: Eek! I mean… I don't… not with you! You're not my type.
Miroku: I'm desperate! Hey Naraku, busy tonight?
Naraku: Sorry, Kikyo's more my thing.
Miroku: But she's completely dead now.
Naraku: I know.
Momo: (Creeped out just like everyone else.) On that note. We'll see you next time with the lost interviews of lesser characters. We'll find out who has a thing for Rin. Buh-bye!