Once again unable to sleep, I decided to head down to the common room for some food, or coffee, or anything I could find to occupy myself, and make me stop thinking about him. I heard some faint voices I recognized as being Sirius' and James', and I stopped just at the bottom of the staircase, out of sight. I wanted to know what they were talking about.
Tell me honestly, man. I hate it when you're like this.»
I just like to smoke, I figured it was time for a change, perhaps.»
Remember that time you came back from summer vacations our second year with a bandage around your head?»
James, please.»
Your eyes give it all away, Sirius. I can tell when you're in love, when you're happy, sad, hurt, and I can tell when you're trying to forget things and act as if nothing had ever happened. »
There was a loud sigh, and then a blunt noise as if someone had fallen on the couch, then Sirius replied.
Alright, fine. What are my eyes telling you?»
You know you've been an arse to her Sirius, and mostly to yourself. I think it's time you stop acting, and having pessimistic thoughts-»
Pessimistic thoughts?»
Don't kill yourself, buddy, it'll make everything worse for everyone.»
Hold on… how did you- you prat, you read my diary!»
Every bit of it. Don't leave it lying around for everyone to find. From what's written in there, people might get the wrong idea about you. It makes you sound like a homocidal maniac to write only about the shit in your life.»
And about revenge. God, I wish they could die. Mum, dad, my brother…»
Whatever. Just remember you're not with them.»
Right. If they died they'd probably come back to haunt me for the rest of my days, too.» There was a fake laugh.
That wouldn't be too much fun.»
So, Sirius. Tell me what's up.»
Well, you tell me. I thought my eyes gave it all away.»
I want to hear it from your mouth.» Another sigh.
...She's my beating heart. It's like I can't pass one minute of the day without seeing her face, feeling her skin, her hair, hearing her voice…» His voice faded to a whisper. « Do you feel the same about Evans?» Sirius continued.
Yeah. You think she feels the same about me?»
Yeah.»
Really.»
Really. She loves you, pal. She's just waiting 'til she and you are ready. She's waiting for the opportune moment.»
Thanks. It's not everyday you can really talk to someone.»
You know you can always talk to me.»
I sound like such a girl.»
...Why d'you think guys don't like talking openly?»
Dunno. Some spooky ego type of problem, no doubt.»
Yeah.» Sirius yawned. « Tired. Let's go sleep, shall we?»
Ladies first.»
As you say, » Sirius showed him the staircase.
So what're you going to do about Dawn?»
No idea. I'll see how it goes.» And the door shut softly.
'Mornin' everyone!»
'Mornin'.»
I'm guessing you slept rather well.»
Indeed.»
Anyone seen Dawn?»
She's off brushing her teeth.»
Again?» A startled James Potter stood in his pyjamas in the middle of the common room accompanied by Sirius Black, hair in mats on the side of his head.
Yeah, but I'm done now,» I answered, throwing the empty tube in one of the wastebins of the room. «I'm really starting to appreciate the taste of this stuff… Did you want to talk to me?»
I was wondering if you've finished your homework for Divination.»
Me? You're joking, right?»
Well, seeing as you're considered a perfect student, I-»
In case you haven't noticed, Potter, things have been a little…um…different lately.»
I avoided eye contact with Sirius. Since I'd overheard their conversation the previous night, I couldn't look at him or even think of him without my stomach becoming so tense I thought I might puke. Everytime, There'd be this intense sort of electric shock running through my body, and I had no idea whether I liked it or not.
True, true. So you haven't finished your homework, then.»
Ask your friend Lupin.»
He's, how would you say, incapacitated, at the moment.»
The full moon had passed , and Remus found himself weak after each transformation.
You know your fanclub would be more than delighted to give you theirs andd get detention instead of you?»
You know it would look like something from a Barbie commercial?»
We laughed heartily, for the thought of the expression on the professor's face receiving a pink, scented parchment was only too predictable. For a moment, it seemed we'd been friends forever, yet there was still a certain tension present, an unexplainable barrier.
The classes had ended for the day after an interminable amount of time spent sitting indoors and writing notes. I was writing the last few paragraphs to my Divination homework (the professor had told me to finish it by tomorrow), when I felt a light but noticeable tap on my shoulder.
Oy, Dawn,» James whispered, « You up for a drinking game?»
As long as I end up in my own bed, sure.» I left my stuff on the table and followed him out of the portrait. «Where're we going?»
Secret passage. There's one that leads to the Hog's Head.»
We're going to Hogsmeade?»
Only halfway.» I raised an eyebrow.
Only half-?»
They keep their reserves in the passage, not actually at Hog's Head.»
Ooh.»
James took a left turn at a corner I'd never explored, and pushed on a random brick. A narrow passage opened up, and we passed through. After about ten minutes of pushing spider webs out of our way, we arrived at another door. We pushed it open and were greeted by Sirius and Peter, comfortably sitting in a barrel morphed as a couch.
Make yourself at home!» They said with swaying arms.
You're already drunk?»
Sorry we couldn't wait, mate,» Sirius laughed, « the bottles were too tempting.»
I rolled my eyes. Guys. I grabbed a bottle, chucked the cap on the floor, and took a long sip. The burning liquid spread its warmth through my body and burnt my tongue. I felt my face go red in an instant.
What is this shit?» I stared at the bottle and found I could no longer focus.
That's Jamaican rum.»
Let me guess. 90 alcohol.»
84. Close enough.»
Same thing.»
One bottle of that, » Pettigrew pointed out, «And you're out cold for the night.»
Great. Just what thew doctor ordered.» I took another sip. Now all I could see were splotches of color, and holding on to the bottle was beginning to be a hard task.
Anyone up for a special combo?»
Special combo?» I slurred.
Yeah. Jamaican rum, and Jamaican crack.»
James practically choked.
Fuck! Where'd you get it?»
Quentin in seventh year. The one who's parents give 'im drugs for 'is birthday.»
You're going to get drunk and stoned?» I said.
You're chicken?»
That's lethal, mate.» James retorted.
Ooh, so you're chicken too?» Sirius spat, letting anger get the best of him. «I thought you'd stick by me nomatter what?»
This was supposed to be fun, not dangerous!»
It would've been fun, had you not all chickened out!»
I-I'm leaving.» Peter whimpered.
Me too.» James agreed.
Fine. Go.»
I got up as well.
Sirius,» I begged, « don't do this to yourself.»
Whatever.»
He grabbed a few full bottles and followed behind, muttering to himself. «It's no fun drinking anyway.» He sulked.
We discreetly made our way out of the passage and headed back to the Gryffindor tower.
Well, well. Look at that. Rats sneaking out at night. And I see you've also found the cheese… Jamaican rum…tisk tisk.»
Lucius Malfoy. The rabid cat out to chase us, I suppose.» James replied, searching in vain for his wand inside his robes- he'd left it on his bed.
Fuck. I don't have my wand.» Sirius cursed.
What? Why the fuck not?»
I notice you don't either, so shut up!»
You!»
You!»
Oh, stop bickering!» Silence invaded the corridors long enough to hear the last echoes of our dispute.
Malfoy got straight to the point. He glared at me.
You've missed more than one meeting, princess. Normally, I wouldn't bother about this, but it seems you're not exactly on our side, so we're getting a tad suspicious,» Malfoy said and James snorted.
Why would we be on your side?»
Especially if we have our own,» Sirius agreed.
It's none of your business, Potter, Black,» he turned back to me, « They weren't supposed to know. Now I'm convinced you don't actually like being evil.» His eyes widened and he took out a silvery object.
Can't use a wand properly, Malfoy?»
What kind of a muggle artifact is that?» James raised an eyebrow, although not daring to step forward. Somehow the object seemed dangerous.
It's a knife, » I answered, backing away a bit.
Malfoy approached, twisting the blade between his fingers, a malicious grin on his face. He was headed toward me.
I hear vampires can't die. I thought I had to see it to believe it.»
You wouldn't dare...» I could feel my heart throbbing in my chest.
Oh, I would, and you know it. If you can't die, what're you afraid of?» His grin widened as he pressed the sharp object against my stomach.
The pain was hardly bearable and the fact that he was slowly driving the knife into my body made it worse. My vision clouded and my knees felt as if they'd refuse to hold my weight any moment. I bit my lips, shaking from limb to limb. Every breath was like being crushed by an entire building over and over and I could start to feel my blood dripping to the floor. I could smell it, and it was dizzying.