Ok, I think I have issues. I'm still making 'happy' noises when I read reviews. Shouldn't that stop by now? I mean, this is the fourth chapter. I'm supposed to be all worldly wise, fan-fiction-is-ever-so-droll, cool cat type of thing. But I think I'll stay like this forever. Just like disco will never die.

LAUGHTER I feel special

LuvzAFunEThing: I think I'll love you eternally. I hate to admit it, but I so do love people telling me I'm funny. We all do. Have you ever seen a tumbleweed? I have. I was at a soccer tournament in some God-forsaken place and I saw a tumbleweed across the road so I went to go look at it and then it started blowing away so I was chasing it down the street for a while and then I grabbed it before it went on the freeway and I brought it back to the field and it was huge and it was really pointy and I tried to play soccer with it but it didn't work. Anyway, I'm sure you'll be happy to discover I don't write in the bathroom, and next time I write (which is now, I guess) I'll picture you falling off your chair. And I'll make your face all pixilated in my head like they did on the replays when Janet Jackson had her 'wardrobe malfunction' so the unknown identity won't be a problem. I feel very powerful…with a mere click of the keyboard I can inflict almost-pain!

Freecityy: Glad to know I'm a genius and witty as hell write who posts one chapter of brilliance every 20 or so hours and not a genius and witty as hell a-hole writer who posts one chapter of pure brilliance then leaves you, the dire hard fans, waiting for a week-two weeks-three weeks waiting and checking fanfic every damn second to see if I have updated. That is one thing I have desperately wanted to hear my whole life. I kid you not… Don't apply majorly painful pressure to my posterior either. I appreciate you, and we appreciate your business.

Faith5x5: I say 'yes please' to a shrine…and I want it Hey-Arnold style. Just don't use bubblegum. (And yes, I do give you permission to say yummy.) Appreciate the John Whedon thing (I've always liked Buffy for a reason…) and do please read on and review on.

Darkness: Didn't mean to assume when I called you my American Idol. (Cause you know what they say about assuming… No, what do they say? Well…that you shouldn't.) I just like to say it. I'll make up a new name for you, howzat? I'll call you… The Big Cheese. There. Well, The Big Cheese, I know what you mean about the update thing. I'm all freaked that people will hate me or shun me if I update slowly so I'm like a highly-caffeinated crazy spider monkey with these things.

Do we need to have a disclaimer on each page? And don't you think the whole website has a disclaimer? And don't you think that the very fact that this website is Fan FICTION implies that we don't own it? Because we don't.

Safety Dance

Chapter Four: Make Like a Whisk and Beat It

Six hours into the marathon, Luke and Lorelai were still going strong. Luke had found it surprisingly natural to be dancing with Lorelai.

"So, do you have anything you want to say to me?" questioned Lorelai coyly.

"Like what?"

"Like how you are so having fun and how you would have missed out on an incredible opportunity if you had turned me down?"

"Hey, we still have 18 hours left. That's plenty of time for me to get sick of you."

"Oh, I doubt it, somehow," winked Lorelai. She suddenly smiled and waved across the dance floor. "Rory!" She pulled Luke and they danced over to her and Dean where they were standing on the side.

"Hey, you two!" grinned Rory. "Having fun?"

"Oh, a blast," interjected Lorelai before Luke could say a word, shooting him an evil grin.

"Have we missed anything?" asked Dean.

"No, you're right on time. Look over there." Lorelai motioned her head towards Andrew and all four turned to watch the blow up.

"One more down!" crowed Lorelai as Andrew and his partner stormed of the dance floor. "Score for us."

'This sure is festive," remarked Dean with a grin.

"Oh, it gets better," laughed Lorelai. "I can't wait till hour 15."

"Well, don't give up yet. Think Energizer Bunny. We're gonna go say hi to Lane," said Rory, linking hands with Dean.

"See ya, hon," called Lorelai.

Rory and Dean strode up to Lane. "Look at you with your egg salad."

"I know. I feel very matronly."

"Egg salad is one of the more matronly foods," agreed Rory. "So does your mom have you stuck here with eggy and crew?"

"Yes. My job is to scoop the eggless egg salad onto the unbready bread and serve it to people. It's sure to be a big crowd pleaser. Oh, here." Lane handed Rory and Dean two pamphlets.

"Dancing With the Devil: An Illustrated Look at the Effect of Dancing on Your Chances of Spending All Eternity in Hell," read Dean aloud. "Sounds cheery."

"I'd curl up with one in front the fire any day," deadpanned Rory.

"And she got a new color printer. See how the flames seem to jump right off the page and drag you into the fiery underworld?"

"Impressive," voiced Rory as Ms. Kim herself came shuffling over.

"Who is this boy?" said Ms. Kim immediately, eying Dean up and down. "What does he want here? Shoo! We are not interested in your wild American boy ways."

"Lane, I'll come back and get some sandwiches later," said Rory hurriedly, starting to walk away with Dean. "Looks like good eating!"

"Please do," insisted Lane.

"Take a pamphlet to your mother and the diner man," ordered Ms. Kim, still watching Dean warily, who looked uncomfortable.

After Rory and Dean left the dance hall, two less welcome teens entered the room and started pushing their way across the floor. Jess stomped off to the side of the floor, looking around, with Shane following languidly.

"Look who decided to make an appearance," muttered Lorelai, looking displeased.

"Yeah, I didn't think Jess would be coming to this thing. It's not exactly his cup of tea," said Luke, slightly surprised.

"Since when is anything Jess's cup of tea?" scoffed Lorelai. "Does Jess even drink tea?"

Just then Kirk and his partner came gliding by, and Kirk twirled the tiny woman into the air with ease.

"Oh, sure, flip all you want, Kirk," snapped Lorelai. "Whatever snazzy tricks and fancy moves you and your partner pull off, it's not going to make one bit of difference. It's who's left at the end that matters. This is the tortoise and the hare all over again. I could just stand here all day without moving an extravagant muscle and I could win just as easily as you. Maybe even more easily because I'm not all tired out from the strenuous flipping activities."

"Whatever you say, Lorelai," smirked Kirk as he and his partner danced away.

There was a pause and then Lorelai hissed, "Quick, flip me!"

"What?"

"Come on, flip me!"

"I am not flipping you," said Luke.

"Kirk is so smug and I hate smug Kirk. Just do it!"

Lorelai was completely shocked when Luke grabbed her waist and flipped her over. She stumbled into him, his hands still gripping her waist.

"Very graceful," he remarked dryly, though his heart was thumping a tad faster than the norm.

"Wow. Didn't know you were that strong," said Lorelai, stuttering a little. "I mean it, ever think of trying out for that strong guy competition? You know, the one with the guy with the thing on his back?"

"Never crossed my mind," confessed Luke. Lorelai smiled and stepped a little close to Luke, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Well. Thanks." She stared at him for a few seconds, then turned away. "You know…Kirk flipped his partner twice…"

"Don't push it."

"Right." She smiled and settled into his embrace.

Jess was lounging on one of the bleachers, looking around constantly. Shane yawned beside him.

"Who are you looking for?" she whined. She wanted to make out, and he wasn't paying any attention to her.

"Nobody," answered Jess enigmatically. His eyes darted around the room and rested on the doorway to the next room. He could see a partial Rory laughing and talking to a partial Lane as she spooned something that resembled egg onto something that might be mistaken for bread. He thought he could see a partial Dean besides the partial Rory.

Jess stood. "I'm hungry. Let's go."

Rory and Dean were gone by the time Jess and Shane reached the sandwich table.

"What do you want, Jess?" asked Lane flatly. "Sandwich? If not, then beat it. The only other thing I can offer besides this sandwich is biting sarcasm and some cold shoulderosity."

"I'm not really feeling the love here, Lane."

"Damn right you're not. Here's your sandwich. Now I suggest you make like a whisk and beat it."

"So how come Rory and Dean aren't dancing?" said Jess, ignoring Lane's outstretched hand and sandwiches. "Too cool for school, huh?"

"That happens to be none of your business. Oh, look what time it is. Time for you guys to move. You're blocking the sandwiches from the rest of the room."

"Good," replied Jess bluntly. "And don't use the 'look what time it is' line, that is so lame 80s sitcom. I expected better of you, Lane. Tsk, tsk."

"Jess, I'm bored," cut in Shane. "This girl is boring. Let's go somewhere else."

"I second that motion," snapped Lane, slapping a wad of egg onto a piece of bread.

"Whatever. It's been a pleasure, Lane." Jess swaggered out of the room followed by Shane.

Hour fourteen. The dance competitors had lost a little of their luster by 8 PM. Lorelai had her head resting on Luke's shoulder. Luke was holding her up.

"God," moaned Lorelai into Luke's neck. "How are you so chipper right now?"

"I get up at 5:30 every morning anyway," reminded Luke. "Just usually I'm standing behind a counter. Today I'm dancing. Life's funny, isn't it?"

Kirk came dancing by, still as perky as he had been that morning.

"It's Kirk, quick." Lorelai started to move around energetically, forcing Luke to do so as well. As Kirk drifted by, Lorelai sighed and leaned back onto Luke.

"That Kirk. He'll be the death of me."

"Too late," muttered Luke.

Suddenly Jackson came dancing up to them with Sookie in a rage. "There she is. Hello, Lorelai."

'Hey Jackson. Hey, Sook."

Luke nodded his head at them. 'How ya doing."

"You know what, Luke? I don't know. Lorelai, how do you think I'm doing?" said Jackson irritably.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Jackson," said Lorelai, bewildered.

"You don't? Well, that's too bad. Because then how will I know what I'm talking about? Because, apparently, I need your input to make every single decision!"

"Jackson, wha…" started Lorelai, but jumped up in surprise as a loud horn honked.

"Geez! What was that?" asked Luke, astonished.

"The runaround! Oh, no," groaned Lorelai.

"The… what the hell is the runaround?"

"On your marks…get set…go!" cried Taylor gleefully.

Luke started as Lorelai began to run around. She grabbed his hand and pulled him along after her. He began to jog along side Lorelai.

"So, Lorelai. What do you think of my running style? Too sprawling? Too pigeon-toed?"

"Jackson, please, you're making a really big, mountainous mountain out of this tiny molehill," pleaded Sookie. "I mean, it's barely even a molehill. It's more like an anthill!"

"Sookie, what is going on?" asked Lorelai, trying not to stop running. She started to slow down so Luke began to pull her around the floor.

"Oh, it's nothing. Jackson's just mad at me and he's taking it out on you."

'Oh, I'm not mad! I'd need Lorelai's permission first to be mad at anyone!" yelled Jackson.

"Oh, stop it!" cried Sookie.

"Fine!" Jackson stormed off of the floor outside.

"Jackson! Jackson, wait!" Sookie started chasing him. She turned behind her towards Taylor. "Here are the yellow cards! I got 'em! I'll be back in a jiff!"

'Uh," groaned Lorelai. "I can't believe this."

"How long are we supposed to run for?" asked Luke, panting a little.

'I don't know! I've been repressing this memory every year, apparently. And why are you panting? You are Butch Danes, the lean, mean running machine!"

"I'm never going to live that down, am I?" Suddenly Kirk came up behind them, stepping exactly where they did.

'Kirk, stop that! You're stepping on my feet."

"I can run wherever I want to!"

"Kirk, I swear…"

Just then the horn sounded, signaling the end of the runaround. Lorelai collapsed on the floor. "Luke, I think you're the only person in the room who isn't in a heap on the floor."

'Yeah, well, I'm not into the fetal position thing. Here." He reached down and grabbed her hand, hoisting her up from the floor. "I think I heard Taylor say we have a 10-minute break."

"Ugh. I have to find Sookie and Jackson, find out what the deal is. Wanna tag along?" asked Lorelai.

"Sure, why not? Nothin' better to do."

Lorelai grinned. "Ah, exactly what every girl wants to here."

Ok. Two things to say- Angie, 'wounded face' is a universal saying, not just a Gilmore thing. And Darkness…my The Big Cheese… you know you asked about the Narco thing? Well, in the first season, when Rory and Dean fell asleep in Miss Patty's dance hall after her dance, Lorelai was all mad and called Dean Narcolepsy Boy, and Narcolepsy is some disease or something where you sleep a lot.

Oh yeah. Read and re-view!