Ok. This one took a little longer, I know. I updated so speedily earlier because I didn't have homework/school on those nights. But on Sunday I had my old school's fair and then I had to watch Pride and Prejudice (the long, amazing, Colin-Firth-dripping-wet version) for the 40th time because I was supposed to read it for school by Monday. Hey, don't look at me like that. I am an intellectual and I liked it. I just didn't have the time to finish it. So, my sincerest apologies one more for the delay.

The Big Cheese (aka Darkness): Aw, I would never want to be rid of you! Because you are the cheese to my cake. Together, we are cheesecake! How great is that? I love cheesecake. And I lurve Johnny Depp. But see, now I don't know what do with the winning aspect. I'm getting conflicting reviews from different people, and now, conflicting reviews from the same person (that would be you)! Should Kirk win? Should Luke et Lorelai conquer? Or should some other random people win? Victory is whose? That is the question to which I have no answer. I want suggestions from all, and if not, I'll let the writing guide me. But I do wanna know what y'all think of this situation.

LuvzAFunEThing: Don't worry, I grew out of my camo years ago, and I WISH I had night goggles. I agree with the whole B-story line thing. I have this friend who says she obsessed with Gilmore Girls but really ISN'T and only LIKES it and whenever she misses an episode she's like, "Hey, Hanna, I missed the episode. What happened?" and then I yell at her about how disgraceful she is and how I can't associate with her and then I take like an hour to write out the storyline, and half way through writing it I remember there's a Rory storyline, so I put that all after the Lorelai plot line. Interesting about Hemingway…although I've heard his writing can be sometimes described as PAINFUL…

Ocdwithlhg: Ah, I love making people laugh at random times when they shouldn't be laughing. And hey. Update your story and I'll update mine. Because it's DELICIOUS. And I'll set aside an hour of my day to simply review. With that incentive, you better start writing NOW. That is, right after you read this.

And this kinda has to do with what L/L r Lobsters said…I'm still doing happy dances when I read reviews.

I've decided Narcolepsy is awesome. Sun+Moon,Earth+Sky explained it to me. I think it would be delicious to be driving a forklift or on a rollercoaster or buying soy products or hiking and then to just fall asleep. How do you get it? I want it.

You know what, I don't want to think of an amusing disclaimer. I mean, I am here to write entertaining and witty fan fic. And if that isn't enough, I add in my a/n's, which are priceless. After all this, you expect me to make my disclaimer funny? A girl has only so much wit! Don't push me!

So, here. Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with the WB, Gilmore Girls, or Amy Sherman-Palladino, the creator and executive producer of the above show.

There. Howzat, huh? Yeah. It's not funny, and you can't do anything about it. In your face. And hey, I've heard your grandmother can't suck eggs. Go teach her. ZING, I'VE BEEN SNAPPED! I never got the 'go teach your grandmother to suck eggs' thing. What does it MEAN? Hint hint for someone to tell me while reviewing.

Safety Dance

Chapter Five: Ferme-ing La Bouch Now

"Jess. What's your glitch?"

"My glitch?"

"You've been standing there for the past half hour eating sandwiches," said Lane.

"Trying to commit suicide," replied Jess.

"You know what, Jess, I don't understand you. If you don't want to be here, why are you?"

Jess was spared answering by the arrival of Rory and Dean.

"The sandwiches are for the dancers, Jess," said Rory coldly.

"And hello to you too! Boy, it's just dandy to see you, thanks."

"Jess…" came Rory's voice warningly.

"Well, I don't see you dancing. No hustle, no tango, not even a foxtrot."

"I'm here to see Lane." She stepped back and linked arms with Dean. "We're here to see Lane."

"Aw, are you three girls gonna talk girl talk and paint each others nails? Because that would be just so darn cute I don't think I could stand it."

"I wouldn't talk to me if I were you, Jess," threatened Dean.

"Angry face! He must be serious." Jess stepped back and smirked, folding his arms.

Just then Shane came drifting over. "Jess, I came back from the bathroom and you were gone. I wasn't done making out yet. I washed my hands this time, too." She suddenly saw Rory and Dean. "Oh…it's that freak girl, the one from the hair store who has some sort of attention issue."

"That's probably the most words I've ever heard you speak at one time. Good job," replied Rory scathingly.

Jess gave Rory a hard look and slung his shoulder around Shane. "Sorry. Didn't know you were waiting," he answered in his indifferent tone, ignoring Rory's comment.

Rory hugged Dean's arm tighter. "Come on, Dean. Bye, Lane."

The second they disappeared Jess let go of Shane. "I'm gonna…go get a soda," he muttered, stepping away. Shane shrugged and grabbed a sandwich, stuffing it in her mouth.

She turned to Lane and asked, "Will this make me bloaty?"

Lane just stared.

Luke and Lorelai stepped out into the cool night air together, shoulders bumping. "I swear, I don't know what got into Jackson. Maybe it's about Sookie and the babies thing."

"Babies?" questioned Luke.

"Yeah, Sookie told me Jackson wants to have four-in-four."

"Four in…"

"Yep, four babies in four years."

"That's insane! Who would want four kids in four years? Or even one kid on four years?"

"Someone who likes kids a lot?" suggested Lorelai.

"No one likes kids that much," muttered Luke, "unless they're on Prozac or something."

'Or they're Mrs. Piggle Wiggle."

"Who?"

Lorelai was silent for a moment and then asked, "Do you really hate kids that much?"

Luke looked at her. "I guess not. I mean it may seem like it…and there is that whole jam-hands thing…but I think that if I ever met the right person, a kid might be nice."

She lifted her eyebrows in surprise. "Luke Danes, such a softy. Who knew?"

"Let's keep it our secret," he replied, leaning in and grinning. She smiled back, her blue eyes sparkling. They walked in companionable silence for a few more seconds until…

"What about you? Ever think about having a second kid?"

"If I meet the right person…yeah. It might be nice to have another Rory around when she leaves for college."

They shared another look, a longer one. The air felt thick with tension. "If you meet the right person."

"Yeah. The right person." Lorelai had a sudden feeling Luke's face was getting closer to hers. Was that him moving, or her…?

Just then Lorelai caught sight of Jackson and Sookie off by the gazebo. "Ooh, look, there they are!" she said, flustered. She pulled away, lifted the edge of her skirt and began to run over to them in hopes of reaching them before Jackson threw a hissy fit. Luke watched her from behind, hobbling awkwardly in her heels and curls jumping, and couldn't help but sigh.

He reached the threesome just in time to hear Jackson yelling something about Winona Ryder.

"Thank God you're not Winona Ryder or I never would've married you," said Sookie, trying to lighten the mood.

"Sookie, this is not a joke! I am a grown man and I should be able to decide how many kids I want to have in which time frame! Not Lorelai, not Luke, not anyone else!"

"Hey, I just got here," said Luke bewilderedly. "How am I being blamed?"

"Welcome to Stars Hollow," shrugged Lorelai. She turned to Jackson. 'I'm sorry if I offended you, I was just trying to do what was best for Sookie."

"Well, don't! This is between me and Sookie, not you!"

"Actually, that would be Sookie and me, if you wanted to get grammatical about it," offered Luke, who received three cold stares.

"This would be a good time to ferme le bouche about grammar, Luke," said Jackson icily.

"Sorry, ferme-ing la bouche now."

Jackson huffed loudly. "You know what, I can't deal with this. I am going home right now!"

"But, Jackson, the contest!" reminded Sookie.

"I don't give a damn about the contest! The contest can go teach its grandmother to suck eggs!"

"I never understood that phrase, personally," said Luke mildly. "What's so insulting about it? I mean, don't you think it's actually beneficial for the grandmother to learn new skills?"

"Time to re-ferme that bouche, Luke," said Lorelai quietly.

Sookie gave Lorelai a final sorry as she turned to follow Jackson's every-distancing figure.

Lorelai turned to Luke with a smile on her face. "Luke Danes, you are about the most unhelpful person."

"Even beating Hitler? My, I am bad."

They began walking back to the dance hall together. Lorelai snorted suddenly.

"What?"

She giggled. "Beneficial to learn how to suck eggs? You're such a card."

He offered another lopsided grin to her and was about to remark until Lorelai suddenly tripped and lurched forward. Luke reacted, grabbing her arms and pulling her back up. "What happened?"

"Aw, man! My heel broke! And new(ish) shoes, too!"

"Must have been all that running. Heels are not the best footwear for exercise."

Lorelai was hopping around weirdly on one foot. "Stop that," said Luke.

"Well, I can't keep my balance."

"So take off your other shoe."

"No! The grass here is disgusting. And muddy, too, because they turned off the sprinklers a few minutes ago."

Luke sighed. "Well…here. Stand on my shoes. I know I have glue back at the diner, we can go get it."

"What am I, four?"

"Just do it." Lorelai put her bare foot on the front of Luke's shoe, kicked off her still intact heel and grabbed it, and stepped on his other shoe. Obviously bringing her extremely close up to Luke. She had to grab his arm so she didn't fall back.

Luke tried to keep breathing at the feel of her entire body pressed against his. He could feel her breath on his neck. Both stood still for a few seconds.

"Well…okay." Luke moved his foot forward and began walking weirdly for a few steps. Lorelai rubbed against him every step, driving him crazy. He stopped. "This isn't working."

"Well, I'm not walking."

"Hold on tighter." Lorelai wrapped her arms around Luke's neck and he lifted her back. She managed to wrap her legs around his waist.

"I feel like a monkey," grumbled Lorelai.

"Yeah, well, you want your shoe fixed, right? So you'll be a monkey until then."

"Yeah, well, okay, but I wont make the noises."

"I accept that." Thankfully the awkwardness was dissipating. Luke hoisted Lorelai up a little move, readjusting his grip. His hands were on her lower back…her very low lower back.

"Watch where you put your hands, mister," warned Lorelai playfully.

"Well, if I move them, then you'll fall and never get your shoe fixed."

"Oh, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that line…" said Lorelai wistfully.

It was about nine o'clock. Taylor had, to the amusement of all, gotten drunk earlier than anticipated.

"And there was this one time where, at Sarah Pincer's eighth birthday, I actually pulled this rabbit out of the hat in under 12 seconds. The whole room cheered for me, 'Taylor, Taylor,' and I was only a sophomore then. I had such a bright future," he sighed, taking a swig of his punch.

"Sure, Taylor," mumbled Patty.

By that time, Lorelai and Luke had reached the diner. Luke had 'misplaced' his hands more than once on the journey, much to Lorelai's amusement. Luke pushed the diner door open with his back, and Lorelai flicked the switch, flooding the diner with light.

"Where should I put you?" grunted Luke.

"Hmm…pondered Lorelai. "What about…hmm, no…or there might…no, no, not there…"

"Lorelai, please."

"Just drop me on the counter, I guess, it must be clean enough due to all the super vicious scrubbing you give it hourly. What's it ever done to you anyhow?" Luke eased Lorelai on the counter and went around back to get the glue. Lorelai swung her legs around to the back of the counter and watched him bend over, searching through cupboards, with a smile.

"Found it." Lorelai handed Luke the injured shoe and he leaned against the back counter, facing her, as he put glue on the broken heel.

Lorelai watched him in silence for a few seconds. She seemed to be thinking. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"You know. The shoes, the carrying me, the agreeing to even do this for me in the first place. Just…thanks. For everything."

He looked up and she could tell he knew what she meant. "Don't mention it."

"Already did," she said somberly.

They were just looking at each other. She was sitting on the counter; he was leaning against the other, facing her.

She suddenly leaned in and kissed him on the cheek for a few seconds. "You're amazing," she whispered into his skin.

And suddenly he couldn't take it and he grabbed her face and started kissing her. He moved closer to the counter as she responded, kissing him back forcefully. He moved his hands to her back, her shoulders, roaming. She held his face with one hand and his arm with another. Just kissing. He felt her tongue tease his lips and their mouths opened simultaneously. She slipped off the counter with the pressing need to be closer, closer. Luke pressed Lorelai up against the counter passionately. He couldn't believe it was happening. Just him and Lorelai finally together. He began to kiss down her neck and she tilted her head, moaning.

"Lorelai…"

"Luke…"

It was.

Hoho. Review.