Tony and Roger were eating some kimche and drinking beer. The traditional Korean pickled cabbage dish smelled nasty, but went along great with the somewhat warm bottled beer. Korea brought back memories to both men, as they had both done tours there as enlisted men before being selected to attend the academy. Jeanne/waitress was keeping an eye on them. Knowing there were new officers in camp, Major Frank Burns and Major Margaret Houlihan were the first to seek out the new pilots. When Houlihan came up to the two, Tony couldn't help but feel he had met her before. Roger started looking very uncomfortable.
"Hello, I'm Major Margaret Houlihan, and this is Major Frank Burns, "Margret said to Tony and Roger.
Tony was the first to take her hand, "Tony Nelson, this is Roger Healey."
Handshakes went all around showing courtesy of rank "Major, Major, Major, Major"
About then two men not wearing any uniforms came in shaking everybody's hand (including Jeannie's) chanting "Major, Major." That earned a laugh from Jeannie. Tony adored her laugh.
"Ignore them, they are very juvenile draftee doctors." Houlihan told the two pilots. Nelson was beginning to wonder if Burns had the power of speech.
Houlihan purred to Nelson, "I notice you're wearing an academy ring." Tony thought he saw Frank turning purple.
Tony automatically said "Class of '57" which, of course gained him a puzzled look. He quickly realized his gaffe and laughed while glancing at the ring, "I wish, you see I'm civil war buff. I actually graduated West Point in 1941. Roger was in my class."
"That was a good year for officers," Frank quipped, earning him puzzled looks all around.
Finally he had a chance to ask Roger, "What is with you?"
Roger simply whispered, "Hot Lips."
Houlihan turned around thinking she heard something. Then it hit him. This was the same Margaret Houlihan that was head nurse at West Point while he was there. Then something else hit him fast.
Tony looked at Roger sternly and asked, "You didn't?" Which just got him a 'what can you do' look from Roger. Tony chuckled. The Lt. Colonel Tony saw earlier came in. He was wearing a fishing hat. He sat down next to Tony and Roger. Burns and Houlihan were hovering close by.
"Henry Blake," he said by way of introduction, "I haven't seen you two around, what brings you two to our neck of the woods?"
Roger made the save this time, " Roger Healey and Tony Nelson. We were doing training flights, and they needed us to deliver wounded. I'm an instructor pilot, while Major Nelson here is making the transition from LTA's to choppers."
"LTA's?" the befuddled reserve colonel asked.
From the table behind them one of the draftee doctors shouted, "Lighter Than Air, Henry, like Frank's head. Blimps."
Nelson and Healey looked over at the eavesdroppers. The louder of the two stepped up, "I'm Hawkeye, he's Trapper. Welcome to the 4077 gentlemen, best care anywhere. If you get tired of that warm beer, stop by the swamp later."
Roger remembered Frank mentioning the swamp and homebrew. After the O Club shut down, the party did indeed move to the swamp. There were several doctors, nurses, enlisted men and a Jeannie in a nurses uniform.
Tony asked, "Where's Burns?"
Trapper replied, "Probably playing doctor with hot lips. We don't let him play doctor in our OR."
Roger exclaimed, "Frank is banging Hot Lips!" which got a laugh from everybody.
"Our Major Houlihan does get around doesn't she? Don't worry Major Healey, you're not the first to have trouble getting your brain around Margret and Frank," Hawkeye answered.
A rather hairy young man in a dress stated, "what gets me is how Burns acts all holier than thou, and he's cheating on his wife. I've seen the hypocrite try to give Bible lessons to Father Mulcahy!"
Tony and Roger started to realize that Frank Burns definitely exaggerated a lot when talking about Korea. In a matter of few hours they ascertained that Burns was pretty much the most hated man in camp. Suddenly, Tony felt someone brush his side, and he smelled the faint scent of perfume mixed with gin. He looked down into the drunken eyes of a very attractive Nurse.
"Hi, you're cute," the Nurse slurred, "I'm Nurse Able, as in ready, willing, and…"
Before Nurse Able could finish her proposition, Roger, Tony, and Jeannie, were back in Cocoa Beach. Tony swore smoke was coming out of Jeannie's ears.
Tony explained, "Jeannie, I didn't do anything…she came on to me."
Tony Nelson was in the doghouse again. Hopefully, this time not literally. But he learned a lot about the new NASA psychiatrist, and why he had so many different transfers. People had been promoting Frank Burns to get rid of him. Now NASA is stuck with him. The Army's little present to the Air Force. Thanks a lot, guys. Next time just send flowers. Now he has to come up with a way to get Frank Burns transferred.