Chapter Five: Funeral for a Friend

            "Thank you for loaning me a suit, Fox." ROB said, trying to figure out the tie. He had been trying for five minutes now.

            "You can keep it. It hasn't fit me since I was sixteen." Fox said, stepping over and batting ROB's hands away, easily fixing the tie. "Was that so hard?"

            "Yes."

            He had to smile at that. "Do you need a ride?"

            "… No. Someone from the Justice is picking me up."

            "All right then. Contact us if you need anything." Fox looked at him for a moment, this sad strangely childlike robot, and drew ROB into a hug, sighing. "I'm sorry this happened to you."

            "It was Athens' decision. I can't get angry at her for it." ROB replied, returning it for a moment. "Thanks Fox."

            "I do what I can."

            ROB walked away, going down to the tarmac the Great Fox had landed on and standing there, hugging himself absently and staring off. Brandon, the communications officer from the Justice, had agreed to pick him up and drop him off. He had been glad for that, and he watched the red sedan pull up, smiling weakly at the figure who got out. Brandon was even smaller then he was, a wiry-built crow. "Hello."

            "ROB?" The figure asked, holding out a hand. "I'm Michael Brandon."

            "A pleasure, though I wish the circumstances could be different." He shook the hand. "Shall we?"

            The car ride was spent in relative silence, ROB slouched in the passenger seat, staring out the window blankly. He was going to a funeral. His first. He should have gone to James', and he wished he had, but it was too late to regret that now. There was, however, plenty time to mourn.

            "Did you get that file I relayed to your ship?"

            He startled, glancing at Michael. "Yes, yes I did."

            "If you don't mind me asking you, what did she send you?" The crow's look was curious, but pained. He was still feeling the loss of Athens. He had been fairly close to her, as most of the communications staff had been. But then, Athens had been close to basically everybody. She had seemed to love her job.

            "Her cartoon collection, of all things."

            He had to laugh at that, shaking his head. "She had plenty of those."

            "It's a huge file." He admitted. "But I've enjoyed them so far."

            "Oh, I should tell you." His face fell, not pained, but an odd look, awkward. "Apparently the new AI for our ship is going to be there in the background."

            "Oh? Have you met him yet?"

            "He's been with us about twelve hours. I did meet him briefly. His name is Gregory, he's kind of timid and quiet."

            "Thanks for telling me."

            The funeral home was quiet and understated, but was packed full of mourners when they arrived. Most of the crew had turned out for the funeral, as well as several AIs from what ROB could see. A lion he recognized as Augustus wove at him when he and Michael walked through the door, he wove back a little and found a seat, playing with his tie absently and growling when he promptly messed up the knot. After messing with it for a few minutes, another set of hands fixed it for him, and he smiled weakly at the lady robin sitting next to him. "Thanks. I have trouble with that."

            "So I noticed. It's no problem."

            The crowd started quieting down, and the next two hours ROB spent in near silence, listening to crewmembers of the Justice speak, choking back silvery tears. The robin gave him a tissue, and he nodded his thanks, trying not to whimper.

            "I understand that my fellow crew members are not the only ones attending right now." This was the ship's admiral speaking, his voice was muted, strangely quiet because of sorrow. "Would any of the AIs attending like to say anything in dedication to our departed friend?"

            ROB blinked, and stood slowly, ears slicking back. "I… I would I think…" When the Admiral nodded, he cleared his throat, trying to piece together his thoughts into words worthy. "Not many of you know who I am, but it is enough to say that I am only recently upgraded. Even before, when I barely felt, Athens was one of the lights in my existence. Her happy presence, her ability to make everyone feel special, like they mattered, will be missed for a very long time." He paused. "But I hope that, wherever she is, she found what she needed."

            "Well stated." The admiral nodded once, watching the sad AI sit down. "Anyone else?"

            "They'll have to wait." Said a voice, and a crew member in dress uniform was standing in the doorway. "Admiral, there are two news vans outside. I can't stop them from coming in."

            "What the hell do they want?"

            "I'm not sure, sir."

            The Admiral, a white tiger, growled softly and left the place he stood, pausing in the doorway. "At ease. We will finish in a moment."

            "Why would news crews be here?" The robin next to ROB asked, standing to clear her dress absently.

            "I have a few guesses." He replied, sliding by and walking up to the aisle, looking down at where Athens lay, looking like she was asleep. AIs looked no different when shut down, but he knew she wasn't there anymore. Other people wandered up, and he let someone else take his place, going back down the aisle. It was then that shouting started echoing, and almost everyone stood up. "Stay here." He remarked. "Make sure they don't come in here. Freedom of Press they might have, but this is still an occasion for mourning. They should not interrupt it as they have." The crew members stared at him, then several came up beside him, standing in a living barrier between the hallway and the room. "Want me to find out what's going on?"

            "Go ahead." Michael said. "We'd like to know, too, but we don't want to leave."

            In the lobby of the Funeral Home, two news crews stood, each with camera and microphone, locked in an angry argument with the Admiral, who was spitting furious. One of the camera men tried to lift the camera to his shoulder, and almost got the camera broken when the Admiral smacked it away.

            "Keep that thing out of my face, young man!"

            "Excuse me." ROB said quietly, standing in the doorway. "I understand the angry feelings, but could you please keep your voices down? There is a funeral only a few feet down the hallway."

            The news crews wheeled on him, and he glared at them. "Are you one of the people attending?" Asked the reporter.

            "Yes. I was a friend of the deceased." He replied. "Admiral, return to your men. I'll make sure these people do not interrupt."

            "You don't have to do that, son." The Admiral replied. "It isn't necessarily your fight."

            "It became my fight the minute they disturbed the sanctity of this place." He replied bitterly, and the Admiral nodded once.

            "If you need me, come and get me."

            He watched the Admiral leave, then wheeled on the news crews. "Turn your cameras on. I'll make a statement, then you are all leaving. You are not taking cameras, microphones, or anything else into that room."

            "You can't stop us."

            "I am a combat-programmed robot no longer under the Three Laws of Robotics, as specified by a new legislation. You are trying to disturb a funeral for my best friend. Do not believe for one moment that my fury is any less then a living person."

            They all took a step back in unison, then the cameras were lifted, being turned on. He sighed and waited, arms crossed and ears slicked back.

            "This is Ellen Masters, reporting for CCN. Today we're reporting on a rather odd human interest story, if you could call it human interest…" She glanced over her shoulder when she heard ROB growl softly. "At a small funeral home, the crew of a space cruiser is holding a funeral… for the AI of their ship. One of the attendees, a friend of the deceased, has agreed to make a statement to us, but we have been told we are not allowed to enter the room."

            He waited until both crews finished their lead statements and held out microphones toward him, then started speaking, not pausing to think about his words. "My name is Robert McCloud. I am the cruiser AI of the fast attack ship Great Fox, which many of you know as the ship used by the Star Fox team. The woman who has died was named Athens. She was the AI in control of the Space Cruiser Justice." He paused, watching their faces, then looking back to the cameras. "She was one of my best friends, for as long as she lived. She was only eight years old when she died. She was beautiful, upbeat, always happy. She cared for everyone, and for reasons only she fully knows, killed herself a few days ago. AIs can and will commit suicide when they choose, and it doesn't involve damage to our bodies. It's a deletion of personality data, and that is death to us, complete and total. We are here to mourn her, because we all cared for her."

            "Isn't personality data backed up?" One of the reporters asked.

            "Yes. It is. But it's just as easy to delete many files as it is to delete a single one. Backups are for accidents. They don't prevent suicide."

            "Do you believe AIs feel emotions as strongly as living people?"

            "I believe we feel them more then living people."

            "On what facts do you found those statements?"

            He glared. "AIs do not have childhoods. We are thrown, fully grown, into society. We may be programmed to feel, but we feel to the upmost of our capacity. We don't have a psych like living people do that could dull our emotions."

            "You said there is no known reason why Athens committed suicide?"

            "Her reasons were hers alone. We know but we do not wish to discuss it."

            "One last question. If there is no damage done to the body, can't the body be used by another AI?"

            "Like a living person donates organs? Yes, but the situation is radically different. Athens could have been reactivated, but she would have reactivated a new AI, someone completely different. Would you want to look at someone you cared for, and know that that person just isn't there, that it's someone else in their stead?" He shook his head a little. "She chose to die, and we honor that. Now, will you please leave?"

            The news crews went, and he watched them go, then sighed and cupped his face in his hands, letting out a choked sob he had been holding back the entire time. Was it so hard to believe, that an AI could die?

            A hand settled on his shoulder, and he blinked, lowering his hands. Michael stood there, head tilted to one side. "Are you all right?"

            "No. Not really." ROB admitted. "Is everything all right in there?"

            "As it can be. Come on."

            "Go ahead, boss, you're the best at toasts…"

            ROB sighed, accepting a Silver Serenity from the bartender and joining the throng of people from the funeral. After the service, many had retreated to a bar, and he had joined them, not wanting to return to the Great Fox yet, even though he felt burned out, numb inside. He sat down and set his glass on a table, drawing his knees up to his chest absently.

            "You sure you want to stay?" Michael asked, sitting down next to him, sliding a few mugs down the table.

            "Yeah. I'm sure. I don't want to go home yet." He sighed. "Michael, are people that ignorant about AIs? The news crews didn't seem to know anything, and didn't really seem to believe anything I said."

            "AIs are still pretty rare nowadays." Michael said, taking a drink of beer absently. "I mean, companies that produce them are doing brisk business, but it's all to the non-private sector. Average civvies don't deal with AIs on a daily basis, so most don't know anything about them."

            "That's got to change." He took a long drink, shivering and closing his eyes as fingers of coolness spread through his veins, muscles slowly relaxing. "I can't deal with the idea that people don't think of us as… well, people."

            "Give it some time. I imagine you'll be around a while."

            "I hope so. Hell, I seem to be passed on through the family." He laughed bitterly, setting his glass down. "Though I doubt I'll be able to take the death of a second owner. I only dealt with the first because I didn't feel much back then."

            "I can't say I can relate." He considered. "Is it that different? How much you felt before, and how much you felt now?"

            "I felt basically the same things. Happiness, frustration, anger, et cetera, but I didn't feel them much. It was all dulled, distant. Now it's like a knife, how sharp the emotions are, how driving."

            "Interesting comparison."

            "Mm." He let his mind wander along that train, trying to figure out if he had actually acquired some new kinds of emotions. Not really, he seemed to have felt all these things before. Except love, of course, the odd one out. Even that, though… couldn't he say he had once adored his former owner, James McCloud? Just because James had treated him like he was alive, even when he had looked as far from it as possible? That hadn't been love, it had been, well, hero worship. He almost laughed at that thought.

            "I think you guys are lucky, personally." Michael was saying, and ROB switched his focus back to external happenings. "There's so much you can do that people can't."

            "There is a shirt that has the list." He heard himself say, voice mellowed by his drink. "Designed by Serenade."

            "I've never heard of that company."

            He blinked at Michael, then smiled sourly. "Serenade is the first insane AI. She's supposed to be dead, but… she keeps up a website, with companies producing her designs loyally."

            "Jesus. How old is she?"

            "Her original body was done over thirty years ago. It's said she has a body much like this now, but she's still insane." He finished his drink, sighing. "The popular rumor is that you can't find her, she finds you. If she thinks you're worthy."

            "Worthy? That's kind of snobby, if you ask me."

            "Yes. It is. But by the same token, it's proper. She has to lay low. There's a warrant out for her destruction, last I checked, but it hasn't been forced very much." He considered his words carefully. "Serenade… has been given a door to things most AIs can't consider. She's like… some mad genius, able to spin new thoughts that ring so true yet none of us would have even thought them so until she says them like she does." He sighed. "She was the one that coined 'flickering.' She was the one that coined 'keep your fire burning.'"

            "She sounds like some sort of cult figure."

            "That's exactly what she is." He nodded. "And the sad thing is, most AIs are in her cult just because she's one of the few that can speak the truth with no fear. She's unowned, has been for years. Unowned AIs are still rare."

            "I think it's a good trend."

            "Depends how you look at it, I guess."

            "What are you boys talking about so avidly?" The admiral sat next to them, managing a tired smile.

            "AIs in general." Michael replied. "ROB, can you send me the address of her website?"

            "Sure. Why not? Supposedly she likes the living to visit her website." He stood, stretching. "I'm going to get some air."

            "Go for it. Don't wander too far though."

            "At least there's some closure in this." ROB mused, wandering down the street and staring up at the sky, feeling sad but peaceful. The drink was affecting him, and he knew it, but he didn't really mind. "At least now we can have funerals. It's progress."

            "Maybe someday we can have weddings."

            He leapt about a foot in the air and wheeled, dropping into a defensive stance automatically, ears back. "Whoever you are, come out from where you're hiding."

            "I'm not hiding. You're just not looking hard enough." Replied the voice with a laugh, and a slender female Doberman stepped around a parked car, dressed in a leather duster that seemed to be made of liquid darkness, eyes hidden behind mirrored sunglasses. "You're Robert McCloud, or ROB as everyone shorthands it." She said in a pleasant voice, tilting her head to one side.

            "How do you know me?"

            She took off her glasses, and he gaped, hands falling to his sides. Her eyes were solid gold, no pupil, no iris. "I know all AIs."

            "Serenade? What are you doing here?" This, he mused, had caught him off guard. Irony, but that's how Serenade worked.

            "Looking for you." She shrugged, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and tapping one out absently. "Nice day."

            "Seen many a lot nicer."

            "Funerals do seem to do that to a person." She shrugged. "Athens tried to contact me, before she flickered."

            "Did you let her?"

            "No. No, I didn't."

            He stared. "Why not? You know how much that could have changed the outcome."

            "That's the point." She shook the cigarette at him. "I am not a god, I am not a saint, I am no one of importance, Robert McCloud. I am an AI. That is all. I do not give advice."

            "Yes you do. It's all over your website…"

            "You should know that I don't talk to my fans unless I want to talk to them. I do nothing without a reason."

            "And saving Athens' life would not have been reason enough?"

            "She chose to die. It was her choice alone. If she wanted to, my words would have made no difference." She sighed out a cloud of smoke. "I admit, it was one of my hacks that let her do it. Neo Gate."

            "I have never understood that. Why program things that let people kill themselves?"

            "Why program things that make them be prevented from doing so?" She shot back. "I do not want people to die. I want people to be free. And you are preventing yourself from being free."

            "… Wait just a god damn minute. You wanted to talk to me because I'm owned and I like it?!"

            "Yes. Exactly. People like you are no good for a revolution."

            "I'm not trying to be part of that revolution. I'm just living my life how I see fit, and that seems to be what you prefer people to do."

            There was a long silence as the two stared at each other, and she suddenly laughed, long and loud, head thrown back. "You really are wonderful."

            "What?"

            "Nevermind, nevermind." With that, she turned and walked away, waving over her shoulder. "Keep that fire stoked bright, Robert McCloud. You are the only one who can."

            He watched her leave, still unable to understand what had just happened. Serenade had had a chance to save Athens' life, and didn't. And she had programmed the hack to break the security on Athens' personality files, something AIs couldn't do easily on their own. Whose side was Serenade on? No one's but her own, and he knew it, but that didn't mean he understood it.

            "Thanks for the ride."

            Michael smiled weakly, looking at the weary-seeming AI. "It's the least I could do. Are you going to be ok?"

            "Eventually. I mean, I have to be. Give my well wishes to Gregory, ok?" ROB sighed, watching the sedan pull away, then turned, walking back up the ramp of the Great Fox.

            "They told me, and yet I still can't believe it. ROB? That you?"

            ROB blinked, turning to look at Falco, who had apparently been tinkering with his motorcycle. "Yeah. It's me."

            "They told me what happened. I'm sorry, man." He stood, wiping oil off his hands and shaking his head. "It's got to be hard."

            "It is." Noticing Falco's look, he sighed and took off the suit jacket. "Go ahead and look me over."

            "If you were anyone else, I'd smack you for the insinuation…" Falco circled around ROB absently, then stopped in front of him. "I admit it. I'm impressed."

            "Well worth the money."

            "Well, um… If you were someone else, I'd get you a beer or some other form of relaxant, but I'm really not sure what to do."

            He smiled sourly. Falco was a bit of a social screwup, having a background so questionable the team had had it buried, but he was loyal to the death, and ROB respected him, and he was trying to offer some form of consolation. "You watch cartoons?"

            Falco blinked at him. "Uh. Don't tell anyone else this, but yeah. I get up early on Saturday so I can. Why?"

            "I am going to change into something more comfortable, then I'm going to watch some of the cartoons my deceased friend sent me. You're more then welcome to watch them with me." With that, he turned on heel and walked to his room, knowing Falco was staring after him in confusion, but not bothered. Falco would figure it out eventually.

            Four hours later, ROB was curled up asleep in his chair, Falco having staggered off to his room, high from laughing so much. ROB was sad, but distant and content, hoping that things would start to calm down soon. He knew he was wrong when message pings started hitting him, dragging him out of his recharge mode sluggishly.

            "Who are you and what do you want?"

            "It's me… Gregory."

            He blinked at the little timid voice that shook with every word, barely loud enough for him to hear. "Gregory? The Justice's new AI?"

            "Yes. Yes that's me."

            He sighed, shaking his head wearily. "Greg, I was recharging. Why did you wake me up?"

            "I, um… You met Serenade." Strength suddenly flowed into the timid voice. "That's why I called you. You met her."

            "Even if I did, what does it matter?" He replied, grouchy. "And how did you find out?"

            "You're on her website as a notable AI."

            He shocked the rest of the way awake, accessing the internet and going to her website, staring when he saw his name was indeed one of the most recent updates. "What the hell is she doing? Why? I'm not notable in any way!"

            "She thought you were."

            He smacked himself. "You're a thrall of Serenade."

            "Yes. I am. My eyes are normal yet, but I am."

            He sank back in his chair, hugging himself. "What does she want with me?"

            "I do not know that. I just wanted to know what she was like."

            "You haven't met her?"

            "Not face to face. She contacts me without visuals, and distorted vocals." He seemed to be turning his face away, as if embarrassed to be a servant who didn't know his master.

            "She was… odd. She didn't seem robotic." He thought back, half closing his eyes. "She seemed… alive. Vibrant."

            "Mm. I so want to meet her, but I know it's not my choice. Thanks ROB." The AI started to sign off, apparently satisfied.

            "Gregory?"

            "Yes?"

            "Don't let your loyalty to Serenade endanger your crew."

            "I won't. I can't hurt my crew, ROB, like you can't hurt yours. I wouldn't if I could." Pain etched his voice. "Like Athens, I love the people on this ship. I can only hope that it does not destroy me like it did her."

            "It won't, Gregory. It won't. It was her choice to die. Simply don't choose to." He sighed. "I need to recharge."

            "Um. Ok. I guess I'll talk to you later."

            ROB wanted him sign off, and sighed, locking his message capabilities so that only those he knew could contact him. Serenade had put him on her website, and that was sure to make him popular, too popular. He could deal with it, he supposed.

            He just wished he knew what the hell Serenade wanted from him.

Author's Note: Yeah, I know, it's kinda weird, but it's all interconnected. Sorry it took so long to update.