Chapter Three By:
Occasus
Slam!
Severus jumped a little as the irritating sound of the dungeon door slamming drew him out of his book. His eyes narrowed and he turned his head toward the intruder.
"Maia!" he hissed.
The black haired, black eyed girl flushed and clasped her hands behind her back. "Sorry," she mumbled.
"Is there a reason you came barrelling in here like that?" Severus asked, closing his book over his finger.
"I just got back from auntie's quarters, and she said you and uncle Sirius were taking me and Netta to Diagon Alley to get our supplies."
"She told you then, did she?" Severus asked.
Maia's face lit up with excitement. "It's true?"
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "If I tell you it is, will you get excited and jump all over me?"
"Nooo," Maia said with an impish grin that, if Severus could see, would remind him of the girl's other father.
"That doesn't sound sincere," Severus said.
"It is," the girl stressed.
"Fine," Severus replied with a small huff. "It's true."
"Brilliant!" the girl shouted and threw herself into her father's arms.
Severus scowled, but his hands gently pet over her dark locks. "If you insist on this overly emotional display, I suggest you keep it short."
Maia grinned up at her father and placed a kiss on his large nose. "Love you daddy. I'm going back to play with Netta."
"Good, I was enjoying the quiet of our quarters," Severus said with just a hint of snark.
Maia giggled a little and removed herself from her father's lap. "I'll be back for dinner."
Severus said nothing, merely waving his hand at the girl as he re-opened his book and went back to his reading. Anyone, no matter how much they hated the snarky man, would have been warmed just a bit if they saw the soft smile that played on Severus' lips after his daughter left the room.
That was how it always was with them, and it had been that way for the past eleven years. Maia was preparing to start Hogwarts, along with Hermione and Sirius Black's oldest daughter, Netta.
No one knew the Potion's Master had a daughter, as Maia had been kept quite secret. It would be coming out this year, and though Voldemort and most of his followers were dead, it still made Severus nervous. For Maia would soon be known as a Snape... and not just a Snape, but a Snape-Potter.
Harry had disappeared a month before Severus learnt of his condition, and he hadn't been heard from since. He had been spotted, rather recently, but when Draco Malfoy had gone in search of the man, he, too disappeared. Dumbledore had several men out looking for both Harry and Draco, but the past three months had turned up nothing.
Severus, having been blinded during his capture by the Death Eaters, now taught Theory of Potions. Hermione had taken up the practical course, and between them, the students were well educated.
These thoughts running through his head, Severus found himself quite unable to concentrate on his book and put it away in favour of preparing the meal for the night.
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The next morning, Maia was up early, meaning that Severus was up as well. Grumbling to himself, the older man quickly fixed breakfast and nursed a strong cup of coffee. Maia spent her time chattering away as she shovelled down her breakfast.
"You're going to choke if you keep talking with your mouth full," Severus commented dully.
Maia rolled her eyes and swallowed her huge mouth full of eggs. "Dad, are you taking Nox with us?"
Nox was Severus' black Labrador seeing-eye dog. He only ever used Nox when the corridors were filled with students or when they left the castle.
"Most likely," Severus commented absently. "You don't expect me to trust your uncle to guide me properly, do you?"
Maia giggled a little. "He wouldn't hurt you, dad."
Severus winced inwardly. Sirius had changed a lot, but some wounds never fully heal. Of course, Severus and Sirius agreed not to tell Maia, Netta or any of the children what had transpired during their seventh year. At least not until they were mature enough to understand the truth of the situation.
Remus and Severus had attempted a relationship when Maia was a baby, and it ended strangely. The truth was, Remus was never in love with Severus and Severus' heart belonged to another. Maia knew who it was, of course, but Severus didn't know she knew. Maia intended on keeping that a secret until her father felt like telling her the truth. Remus still lived with them, however, and was a second father to the young girl.
A knocking interrupted the quiet breakfast, and a moment later, Sirius Black and his oldest daughter entered the room.
"Still eating?" Sirius asked, rubbing the top of Maia's hair.
"Oy," the girl said, smoothing back her plait. "If you don't mind. This took hours, you know."
Sirius snorted. "Gods, she's sounding more like you every day, Snape."
"Well then, my mission to plague you with yet another Snape is almost complete," Severus deadpanned.
Sirius rolled his eyes and took a seat next to Severus, helping himself to toast. "Nearly ready, then?"
"When Maia is," Severus said with a shrug. "I'll go fetch Nox."
"Aw Snape, bringing your dog? I can't believe you don't trust me, that hurts!"
"Well if you'd like to transform, I'd be happy to harness you," Severus said with a sneer. Pulling the harness off of the peg on the wall, Severus quickly called for his dog and readied him. "Maia, you have your list?"
"Yes," the girl declared, producing it from the pocket of her robes.
"And you Netta?" Sirius asked.
The petite brown-haired girl nodded. "Got it," she said.
"Excellent."
"We're taking Dumbledore's floo," Severus explained as he opened the door. "It's the only one large enough to accommodate me and Nox."
The group were soon headed down the corridor toward Dumbledore's office. The gargoyle gave them immediate entrance, and a few moments later, they were standing in front of Dumbledore's large fire place.
"All set?" Severus asked Maia.
"Yes dad," Maia said impatiently. "I get to go on my own this time, right?"
Severus clenched his jaw, but gave a curt nod. "You had better not try anything."
"I won't," she said firmly.
"You're to go after me," Severus said as he pulled Nox closer to him. "Then Netta will go, and Sirius last. He's to make sure you two don't try anything."
Maia rolled her eyes and pressed the floo pot into her father's hands. "Don't worry so much," she said softly.
Severus sneered and took a pinch of the powder, casting it into the flames. Stepping inside, Severus called out, "The Leaky Cauldron," and in a swoosh of green flame, he and his dog spun away.
Landing gracefully, Severus brushed himself off and stepped aside to make room for his companions. If Severus could see, he would have found two very familiar men, staring at him, mouths agape.
"Severus," one of them whispered, and Severus turned at the sound of his name. Since the word was whispered, it gave no clue as to the person's identity.
Before Severus could respond, the flames roared and two girls tumbled out of the hearth, giggling and brushing each other off. When the air had cleared, the girls looked over at the two men who were staring at Severus and stopped laughing.
"Oh," Maia said, shocked.
"Er... yeah," Netta said, knowing exactly who they were. "Did you know?" she hissed to her best friend.
"Know what?" Severus demanded. "Maia, what is going on?"
"Uhm... dad..." Maia said slowly, reaching out for his arm. "Er... "
Before she could give a proper answer, Sirius came tumbling out of the hearth and froze at the sight of the two men. "What?" he whispered.
"Oh for the love of Merlin, what is going on?" Severus demanded loudly.
Sirius gulped and took Severus' shoulder. "It's..."
"Me," one man said. That man happening to be Harry Potter, the father of Maia, and the very man Severus had driven away eleven years before. "Hello Severus."
Severus paled rapidly and his hand gripped the harness on his guide dog. "Potter," he managed.
"And Draco," Harry said softly.
Severus' sightless eyes widened. "Draco... you were..." he stopped and cleared his throat. "Albus didn't tell me you had been found."
"I asked him to keep it quiet until I was certain I wanted to be found," Draco said in a very soft voice. "I'm sorry."
"Understandable," Severus said, trying to maintain his composure. "I do think I need a word with Albus, however. Sirius, can you manage?"
"Yes," Sirius said very slowly.
"But dad," Maia whinged, "you promised it would be your day with me, in Diagon Alley!"
Severus paused and felt his heart drop. He had promised. "Maia..."
"Whatever," the little girl said, and stormed out of the pub.
"Fucking hell," Severus snarled.
"I'll get her," Sirius said, "Netta, come on. Harry, I want to have a word with you."
Harry nodded. "I'll be here; we're just having a lunch."
Sirius stormed out of the Leaky Cauldron, Netta at his heels. Draco and Harry shifted uncomfortably and Harry finally spoke up. "Albus offered us the vacant posts, and Draco and I have accepted."
"I thought as much," Severus said tensely. "If you'll excuse me, I need to leave." Without waiting, Severus returned to the fireplace and floo'd straight back to Albus' office.
When Severus stepped into the main office, he was met by a curious Albus. "I thought you were shopping. Did you forget something?"
"No, but it seems you did," Severus all but shouted as he flopped into the armchair. "Tell me, should it be a surprise that as soon as I stepped out of the hearth I was met by both Potter and Draco?"
Albus cleared his throat. "Ah… right. Well perhaps I should have made an announcement."
"Indeed," Severus snarled. "I had no idea either of them were even alive. Nor did Sirius, judging by his reaction. Not to mention he's got Maia there with him... and Harry... and oh fucking hell, Albus."
"Will you be telling Harry about Maia?" Dumbledore inquired softly.
"I doubt I have much choice in the matter, Maia clearly knows and we know she can be rather... forthcoming, when she wants to be."
Albus chuckled and shook his head. "That she can. I am sorry, Severus, for not saying anything before. I just wanted to make things easier on everyone, especially Draco."
"What happened to him?" Severus demanded.
"I'm afraid I'm going to have to let him tell you, Severus. But I will say this, he is not the same person as he was."
Severus' jaw tensed and he stood up. "Fine. I will be in my quarters. Please have Maia spend time with Black, as I'm sure she's thoroughly angry with me. When Remus arrives, tell him he knows where to find me, and to look after Maia."
"Severus..." Albus said, but was cut off by Severus storming out of the office, slamming the door behind him.
Severus stormed down to his chambers, let Nox loose from his harness and immediately drew his bottle of firewhiskey from his liquor cabinet. Pouring himself a stiff drink, Severus collapsed into his armchair and unwillingly fell into the intense memories of his past...
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It was the summer just before Potter started his seventh year at Hogwarts. The Death Eaters were growing in strength and number, and Severus had been found out. He had been tortured for hours and left for dead. It was only the power of Dumbledore that saved him.
The very inner circle of the Order all believed it best to allow the rest of the wizarding world to think Severus dead, so after a long plan, several potions, Severus resumed his place in the world as his distant cousin, Nickolas Snape.
Nickolas looked much like a Snape, a bit sallow, tall and gangly. He lacked the familial nose, as Dumbledore thought it best to remove any defining traits Severus possessed. So along with the nose went the long greasy hair, and he assumed a form about fifteen years younger than his true age.
Nickolas Snape was to be announced as the Head of Slytherin House and new Potions' Master at the welcoming feast start of term. Severus had prepared himself for the reaction of the students, many in his house knowing his fate already. Remus, who had taken up the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts, McGonagall, and Dumbledore were the only two who knew his true identity.
When Potter, Granger and Weasley entered the Great Hall that evening, all three of them stared. They leant in and began to whisper amongst themselves. It seemed the whole of the Hall were wondering who he was, and Severus smirked when he realised no one was making the connection between himself and his former self.
"Welcome to another year at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said once the new, and frightfully few, First Years were sorted. "We have two announcements to make. The first, Hogwarts is pleased to announce the re-employment of the Defence Against the Dark Arts, Prof Remus Lupin. Secondly, I have a bit of tragic news. Professor Severus Snape, former Head of Slytherin House, was tragically murdered this summer. After much mourning, we have replaced him with none other than Prof Snape's distant cousin, Prof Nickolaus Snape."
There was a collective gasp amongst the students, and immediate whispering. Before Dumbledore could say anything further, a loud clatter was heard, and Harry Potter stood up from the Gryffindor table, unshed tears shining in his green eyes.
"I wasn't told," he said loudly. "Why wasn't I told?"
Severus frowned. He certainly didn't expect Potter to react in that manner. "Mr Potter, this is not the time, nor the place for this discussion," Dumbledore said firmly, yet kindly.
Harry's jaw tensed. "It never is. I should have known. I should have been told." Without letting anyone respond, Harry turned on his heel and ran out of the Great Hall.
Severus spotted Granger leaning into Weasley, whispering something into his ear. Weasley went red, then quite peaky. Granger continued to whisper and Weasley's face dawned with realisation. They spoke quietly for many more moments, and before long, they were both up, taking the same path Potter had used.
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Term passed in a bit of a blur, and strangely enough, come Christmas, only the staff, Draco and Potter were left behind. Draco, who had separated from his family, had gotten ever so slightly friendly with Potter, and they had formed a sort of truce.
During the feast, Potter and Draco sat at the table, Harry choosing the seat beside Severus. He was quiet, as he had been all term, and only picked at his food.
Severus, being that he was someone else at the moment, had started to try out a few different personalities. He couldn't quite drop the snark or the sarcasm, but he was getting better at listening to the other students, and having just a fraction more faith in them.
"Not hungry?" Severus asked.
"Not really, sir," Potter said softly.
"Something on your mind?"
Harry looked up, mildly surprised, as Nickolas Snape didn't really seem to enjoy his conversation or company any more than Severus Snape did. "A lot of things," Potter confessed.
"The war?"
"Surprisingly, no," Potter sighed.
"Care to tell me?"
Potter quirked an eyebrow, and lowered his voice. "I was thinking about Sev... er your cousin, Prof Snape. I just... miss him."
"I was under the impression you hated him."
Potter snorted and shook his head. "He had no idea," he muttered. "No goddamn idea."
"And what was that supposed to mean?" Severus inquired, his curiosity heavily piqued. This was a chance for him to find out exactly what the boy-who-wouldn't-die thought about him. It was a bit twisted, but Severus didn't much care.
"He hated me, and that's enough of it. It wouldn't have mattered even if he was here right now," Potter said, and his voice tightened and he stopped talking. "I just wish I'd... said something."
Severus pondered on this for a while, but before he could say anything more, Potter got up from the table and left.
Later that evening, Severus found himself walking the corridors, thinking of everything that had come to pass. As he rounded the bend near the Ravenclaw tower, he heard the familiar swishing of a cloak. Turning, Severus spotted Potter walking up behind him.
Potter paused and then gave a very sheepish smile. "I saw you from far off… for a moment I thought you were… never mind…" he trailed off and shook his head.
"What are you doing out here so late, Potter?" Severus demanded trying to ignore Potter's odd behaviour.
Potter gave a sort of harsh, hollow chuckle and raked his hand back through his hair. "Sometimes you do stupid things when you miss someone so much. I had this stupid, idiotic hope that he would catch me wandering round." Potter paused and rubbed his eyes a bit. "Then I saw you… and you both have this walk, this sort of… well… never mind. Anyhow, I followed you, because I thought you were… but you aren't… and I'm sorry."
Severus was heavily and distressingly confused by this point. He wasn't sure why, but when he opened his mouth, all he could manage was, "How about a drink in my quarters, Potter? They aren't far."
Potter froze, and then gave a small smile and a nod. "Sure, I think a bit of alcohol is due in times like these."
In his chambers, Severus showed Potter to the lounge and poured two snifters of brandy. Sitting in the armchair, Severus turned his gaze to the fire.
"This is odd for me," Potter confessed.
"As it is for me," Severus said. "So very much so."
Potter stared into his snifter and gave a small sigh. "I... I miss him. I miss his glare, his horrible unfairness. I miss the way he'd take points..."
"You sound like a lovesick fool," Severus joked.
Harry reddened. "Well you can't help who you love."
"Sorry?" Severus barked out, shocked by the admission.
"It's true and I don't care who you tell. It doesn't matter now... I mean, he's gone."
"Why on earth would you love him, Mr Potter? He was... dreadful to you."
Potter chuckled and took a long drink of the alcohol. "He was and perhaps that was part of the allure. I don't know how to explain it, professor. I just... I just loved him."
Severus stared at Potter with wide eyes, and he felt something inside of him stir. Sure, he'd lusted after Harry and felt very wrong for it. Harry was a teenager, too young to know much of what he wanted, but in that moment, Harry sounded so genuine, and so lost. Then Severus realised he was refering to him as Harry. He was fucked.
"Perhaps... perhaps you should go," Severus managed.
Harry nodded and drained the liquor. "I bought him something over the summer holidays. Nothing elaborate, and I was going to give it to him for Christmas, anonymously, of course." Harry reached into his pocket and pulled out a very small, wrapped package. He enlarged it and set it on the table. "You can have it, sir. It's nothing big, just something that reminded me of him." With that, Harry turned and left, shutting the door loudly behind him.
Severus stared at the package for what seemed like hours. He wasn't sure if he should touch it. Eventually his curiosity won out and Severus opened the wrappings. It was a leather bound journal, with his initials printed in gold. When Severus opened the cover, he saw a small inscription.
Severus,
Because you should have a place to put your thoughts were no one can touch them.
When Severus investigated further, he found that the ink disappeared and only reappeared at his command. It was a simple and very clever spell and Severus suddenly found himself more than confused. The boy he hated had become the man he wanted, the man that confused him beyond reason.
"Fuck," Severus said, and meant it.
Harry, strangely enough, returned the next night. And then the next. And then the next. Two nights before classes started again, Severus knew he was hopelessly attached to the bratty, stubborn Gryffindor.
They had been talking for hours, and when Severus showed Harry to the door, their lips met in a sudden, furious kiss. Severus prepared to deepen it, but Harry pushed back almost roughly. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I'm sorry, but I can't."
"Why?" Severus asked softly.
"Because... because I still love him. I tell my heart that he's gone, but I can't let him go. It wouldn't be fair to you, and I'm sorry."
Severus cupped Harry's cheek. "Go to bed," he said almost kindly.
Harry shot him a pained smile before turning and leaving Severus to his thoughts. Severus, in turn, took those thoughts to Albus Dumbledore, and confessed everything.
"You can have me sacked," Severus said after telling all. "But I still need him to know."
Dumbledore looked at Severus for a very long moment. "You think I would have you sacked for falling in love, Severus."
"Nickolas," Severus mocked. "And I never said I was in love."
"You didn't need to," Albus said, his eyes twinkling. "Tell him Severus, but be prepared for his anger."
Severus sighed. "And if he rages and destroys the school?"
"All for love," Albus said almost dreamily.
"Barmy old coot," Severus snarled, but had to consciously stop the smile from forming.
The next night, Harry returned, though his demeanour was slightly subdued. He took his usual seat on the sofa, but refused the brandy. Severus, not wanting to delay anything, swallowed a shot of whiskey before going straight to the heart of the matter.
"Harry, there's something you must know, something that you will be very angry with me about."
"What?" Harry asked, cocking his head to the side.
Severus took a deep breath, muttered the incantation and dropped the glamour. He was himself again. Old, greasy, and Severus.
Harry stared at him, and then gave a cry, as if someone had caused him pain. "It's a lie," he whispered.
"It's not, I promise you."
Harry stood up. "It's a joke! A lie! Some sort of trick!"
"Harry, I promise," Severus said softly.
Harry shook his head violently. "No. No! I mourned you, god damn it!"
"The Dark Lord found me out, Harry, and we had to let the whole of the wizarding world think me dead."
"And me?" Harry whispered.
"And you."
"Why now?"
"Because I... I lo- er, I have strong feelings for you, Harry," Severus choked out. "I've spoken to Albus on the matter and..."
"I've had enough," Harry said sharply. "I've had enough of my emotions toyed with, my heartstrings are damn near broken. I can't do this again." Harry turned and ran out of the dungeons.
Severus put his face in his hands, and let out a shuddering sigh. He had tried, and he could do no more.
It was three weeks later, before Harry came back to him. He stormed into Severus' chambers and found the Potions' Master in the lounge, drinking tea.
"Take it off," Harry demanded.
Startled, Severus complied and dropped the glamour. Harry walked over slowly, and dropped to his knees in front of the older man. Cupping Severus' cheeks in his hands, he ignored the tears that were falling. "It's you," Harry whispered.
"It's me," Severus managed.
Harry shook his head. "If I do this... if I stay here... you can't leave. You can't leave again."
"I have to continue with this façade, Harry."
"That's not what I meant," Harry said, and dropped his hands to the tops of Severus' thighs. "If I kiss you, and you kiss back, you can't leave."
Severus understood, and gave a tentative nod. "Harry, I promise, I will do whatever's in my power..."
Harry stopped Severus' words with a heated kiss. The kiss led to much more, and later, when it was over, Severus would find he felt more sated than ever possible.
Harry was lying in his arms, his ear pressed to the centre of his chest and both were in a half doze. It was the happiest and safest Severus had ever felt, and he never wanted it to end.
Severus, however, tended not to get what he wanted, and not forty-eight hours later, he was held captive by Death Eaters.
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There had been a battle, and all of the Order members had participated. Somehow, Severus had been hit with a curse, and he was weakened. His glamour faded and Lucius Malfoy spotted him. Severus was taken, his wand broken, and he was given to the Death Eaters as a toy.
Severus stopped knowing night from day when they took his sight from him, and before long, he stopped knowing anything but pain. He was raped, tortured, beaten, cursed. He was used and healed and used again. He begged for it to end, but he knew it never would.
Of course, when the war ended, and Severus was taken into kind hands, he went into immediate shock and fell into a coma.
He stayed that way for a fortnight and when he awoke, he found arms wrapped round his sore frame. Gingerly reaching out, Severus' fingers came into contact with messy locks and a bespectacled face. It was Harry.
Letting out a choked sob, Severus pulled the body close to him. Harry woke instantly and looked into Severus' face. "You're awake," Harry said.
"Harry," Severus rasped. "Harry..."
"I'm here," Harry whispered, and captured Severus in a fierce kiss. "I'm here."
Severus wrapped his arms round Harry even tighter and sobbed. "I'm healed, but I can't see."
Harry pressed his palm to Severus' cheek. "They said... they said they can't fix your sight, Severus. I'm so sorry."
Severus shook his head and breathed in Harry's scent. "Where are we?" he asked, his voice muffled by the top of Harry's head.
"In your chambers. Dumbledore thought you'd recover better in your own quarters."
Severus shuddered and gingerly touched Harry's cheek. "Take me, Harry. I need you to make love to me right now."
"Severus," Harry said slowly, "you've only just woken up. You're not entirely well..."
"Have they healed all of me?" Severus demanded, feeling hysterical and more himself than before.
"Yes," Harry whispered.
"Please, Harry... I need you to. I need you to take away these demons. Please..." Severus nearly begged.
Harry could take no more and captured Severus in a searing kiss. Fetching the lube from the bedside drawer, Harry reached round and carefully moved Severus pyjama shirt aside. Coating his fingers, Harry leant in and captured Severus in a heated kiss as his finger slipped inside of Severus' tight hole.
Severus was still sore, though healed in body, his mind still suffered. The intrusion brought back the tortures, the rapes, the nightmarish memories, and Severus felt panicked. Still, he urged Harry on, and before long, Harry was slowly thrusting into him.
Sensing Severus complete distress, Harry whispered vows of love as he slowly brought Severus over the edge. Severus was the first to come, Harry following only moments later.
When it was over, Harry whispered a cleansing charm and both men fell into a sated sleep.
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Severus didn't recover as well as he expected too, and when he realised his condition was permanent, he knew he couldn't burden Harry with himself. He also knew that Harry wouldn't leave so easily.
Severus realised what he had to do, and set out to do it not days after the two had made love. He changed his passwords, he readjusted his wards, and he sent all of Harry's things back to Gyffindor Tower.
"It's over, Harry," Severus said when Harry confronted him about it.
"What?" Harry shouted.
"You have to move on. We're over, and you're going to leave."
"I won't," Harry hissed. "I won't leave, and you won't leave me. You promised."
"It meant nothing," Severus growled. "I'm not going to tell you again. It's over."
Harry paled and he gripped the door handle tightly. "I'll go if you tell me you don't love me, Severus. Only then."
Severus opened his mouth to do just that, but the words stuck in his throat. "Go Harry... it's over."
"This is not the end, Severus," Harry hissed, and turned on his heel, marching out of the room. Harry did leave when the year was over, and Severus breathed a sigh of relief.
He thought it was over... but a month later, Severus learnt his life was about to change even further.
"Severus... you're pregnant."
Severus's head swam, and the next thing he knew, he was being pushed back into a chair, and a hot cup of tea was pressed into his hands. As he took a sip, he tasted the sweet flavour of a calming draught, and sighed gratefully.
"Calm down, Severus," a familiar voice said. It was Remus Lupin.
"This is common, Severus," Poppy began to explain. "I just didn't know you had found someone."
"I hadn't found someone," Severus managed after taking another long drink.
"Oh Merlin... not..." Poppy gasped.
"No, not the Death Eaters," Severus said with a wave of his hand. "This would have been..." he stopped and shook his head." Well never mind."
Poppy sighed and turned to leave. Remus, however, stayed and knelt beside Severus' chair. "It's Harry's, isn't it?"
Severus sat forward a bit and suddenly dropped the teacup on the floor. Ignoring Remus' sudden gasp, Severus put his hands over his face and began to cry. As always, Severus' tears were absolutely silent. His body shook slightly, with the quiet sobs and he kept his hands pressed over his eyes.
Remus quickly spelled the cup together, set it aside, and took a seat on the arm of the chair. Reaching out gingerly, Remus pulled Severus toward him and allowed the other man to cry into the front of his robes.
It didn't last long, and when Severus pulled away, his normal, neutral expression was back. "I need to lie down," Severus choked out.
"Let me take you to your quarters," Remus said, and reached for Severus' hand.
Severus tensed at the touch and ripped his hand away from Remus. "I don't need you," he hissed.
"Stop being a stubborn arse," Remus said and firmly took Severus' arm.
Severus, too tired, too shocked and too confused to argue, allowed Remus to guide him back down to the dungeons. As Severus' head hit the pillow, he reached out and gave Remus' hand a sudden squeeze. "Thank you," he murmured, and within moments, he was asleep.
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The calming draught was doing its work and before long, Severus was soundly asleep and Remus was sitting in Severus' lounge, opposite Albus Dumbledore.
"So what are we to do?" Remus inquired as he sipped on some tea.
Albus took a moment to ponder the situation. "He didn't take it well."
"You expected him to?" Remus asked with wide eyes. "For fuck's sake Albus, the man just learnt that he was pregnant. And he's blind to boot. Harry's just left to Merlin only knows where and now he's got to deal with this."
Albus nodded and then scratched his beard thoughtfully. "And how might you feel about staying with him?"
"Me? As though he'd have me," Remus muttered. "I'd be happy to help in anyway I can."
"Do you expect him to keep the child?"
"I've not a clue," Remus answered in total honesty.
"Perhaps we should hope for the best," Albus said and stood up. "I don't want Severus to be alone in this. He may fight this at first, though I think perhaps he won't this time."
"Fight what?" Remus asked, feeling a little frightened.
"You," Dumbledore said with a shrug, "living with him."
"He's going to kill you and me both if you force him to live with me," Remus said darkly.
Albus shook his head softly. "I think perhaps this time Severus knows he needs the help."
Remus sighed and nodded his acquiescence. "Alright Albus, but if he kills me, my blood is on your hands."
Albus chuckled. "Of course my dear boy, of course."
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When Severus woke, he felt a presence in the room and sat up. "What?" he grumbled.
"I heard you starting to stir," Remus said.
"Still here, then?"
"Yes, and I'm staying."
Severus' eyebrow quirked. "Sorry?"
"Albus and I had a long chat today, whilst you were asleep, and we decided it would be best considering your... ahem... condition, that you have someone living with you."
"Absolutely not," Severus snarled, sitting up fully. "You two are out of your damn minds. You're not living with me."
"Severus," Remus said very patiently. "You've just been blinded, you were severely injured and now you've learnt you're carrying a child. I'm not letting you alone, not for a while."
"So I've moved from one torture to another. Brilliant."
Remus sighed and carefully sat down on the bed beside Severus. "I'm only trying to make things easier, Severus," he said very softly. "And if you would stop acting so much like a damned Gryffindor, you'd realise that you need the help."
Severus winced a bit, and shifted away from Remus. "You're not staying in my room, and I've not got another."
Remus chuckled. "Albus has taken care of that, added on two more."
"Two?"
"One for me, one for the baby," Remus explained.
Severus paled. "I'm fucked," he whispered.
Remus sighed and raked his fingers back through his hair. "Will you tell Harry?"
"I suppose I ought to," Severus said dejectedly. "He's a right to... to know."
"Would you like me to pen the letter?" Remus offered.
"I'm blind, not stupid, Remus. I've not forgotten how to write." Severus slowly eased himself out of the bed, groped about until he found his writing desk. Pulling out his parchment, ink and quill, Severus quickly scratched out a note.
H.
I'm not sure how this letter will find you, and I know it's been over a month since we've spoken. I've learnt I'm carrying your child. I will keep the child, and if you wish to join me once again, I'd... be happy to have you back... for the sake of the child. If not, I shall be fine.
S.S.
Severus rolled up the parchment and added his personal seal. Whistling for his owl, Severus tied the letter to the bird's leg and sent it away. Heaving a great sigh, Severus sat in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose. "This is pure insanity."
Remus chuckled a bit. "Maybe at first, but it will get easier."
"You try being blind, and then say that," Severus hissed. "And why not carry a child to boot."
Remus could think of nothing to say to that, so he said nothing at all.
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Another month passed before Severus' owl returned. Inspecting the seal with his fingers, Severus realised it was his seal, and was unbroken. Fighting the urge to toss the letter into the fire, Severus tucked it into the drawer of his writing desk. He would figure it out later, when his head was clearer.
As the months passed, Remus and Severus grew closer and closer. Hermione Granger and her new husband Sirius Black had moved to the castle, Hermione set to take over Potions until Severus was well enough to decide what he was capable of teaching.
Severus found he didn't hate the idea so much, despite how much he hated Black. And it made it a bit easier, because Hermione was also carrying her first child. In fact, she and Severus were due round the same time.
Severus spent his days learning Braille, how to use his magic without sight, and how to function with his new guide dog, which he affectionately called Nox. Remus was more of a help than Severus thought possible, the werewolf even learning Braille with him, and Severus found himself grudgingly grateful for his presence. Severus also knew he would appreciate it more when the baby was born.
Severus didn't know if his feelings for Remus went any deeper than that, but one evening, when the two men were lounging on the sofa in front of the fire, Severus found himself pushed in the direction of romance.
His stomach was quite large already, and he was only two months away from giving birth. He was now feeling tired, worn and his emotions were, once again, wreaking havoc over his rational mind. Now, the baby he was carrying was a relatively quiet child, and rarely moved. Poppy said it was normal enough, so long as the baby didn't stop moving altogether, and Severus was quite conscious about counting the kicks.
As Severus fell into a slight doze, his stomach jumped. Severus jolted, and then froze. He felt a sudden push against his hand that was resting over his stomach, and then another. Severus gasped, rousing Remus from his own doze.
"What?" Remus asked, his eyes wide.
"The baby," Severus said. "It's moving a lot."
"Er... may I?" Remus asked, stretching out his hand. Remus had yet to feel the baby kick, despite the efforts Severus made to allow the tawny-haired man to feel the movement.
Severus reached out, found Remus' hand and pressed the werewolf's fingers to his stomach. All was quiet until...
"Oh!" Remus said as the baby kicked against his hand. "Oh it moved!"
Severus allowed a small chuckle and pressed Remus' fingers into his stomach a bit harder. The baby kicked again... and again. "Restless," Severus said softly.
"Very," Remus said.
Severus was suddenly hyper-aware of his hand on Remus', but he couldn't bring himself to pull away. Remus seemed to notice it as well, but instead of trying to remove his hand, he reached out and opened Severus' robes, laying his hand right on Severus' naked stomach.
Severus let out a slow breath, and then smiled as the baby kicked again. "I think it likes you."
Remus chuckled and stroked Severus' stomach very lightly. "I think I like them too."
Severus blushed and closed his hand over Remus'. "I... I don't..."
Remus shook his head, knowing full well that the other man couldn't see the gesture, and suddenly leant forward, pressing a kiss to Severus' stomach. "Little one," he whispered against Severus' flushed skin. "I can't wait to meet you."
Severus swallowed thickly, and allowed his hand to settle in Remus' hair. The werewolf merely lay against Severus' belly, and the two men said nothing.
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It wasn't spoken of again, but eventually the touches grew more frequent. As the next couple of weeks passed, Severus knew he was craving Remus' touch. He'd had enough of the unspoken wanting, and decided it was time to admit his feelings.
The two men were at the table, working on the Braille cells. "Remus," Severus said, his voice tight.
"Hmm?" Remus asked, his eyes shut so he could read with his fingers better.
"What are we doing?"
Remus' eyes opened and he frowned. "Attempting to read."
Severus rolled his eyes. "That isn't what I meant." Reaching out, Severus found Remus' hand and laced their fingers together. "I meant this."
Remus sucked in his breath and looked down at their joined hands. "What are you asking?"
"I want to know what this means to you," Severus confessed.
Remus blinked a moment. "What would you have it mean, Severus?"
Severus shook his head. "A many number of things, Remus. But I need to know what this means to you."
Remus suddenly pushed away from the table, walked round and knelt directly in front of Severus. Taking the other man's hands in his, Remus looked into Severus' distressed face. "I've wanted you for some time now, Severus, but I've not had the courage to tell you."
Severus let out a shaking breath and brought one, slightly trembling, hand to Remus' cheek. "And if I told you that perhaps... perhaps I've wanted the same thing?"
Remus smiled widely, and Severus felt the corner of Remus' mouth stretch along his palm. "Then I would kiss you, and let you decide from there." Remus slowly reached up his face and pressed his lips to Severus', keeping it dry and chaste.
Severus gasped a little and suddenly pulled Remus tight to him, crashing their lips together. Severus was the first to deepen the kiss, letting his tongue dart out to taste Remus' lips. Remus responded in earnest, and before either man could properly react, they were in Severus' bed. Groaning, panting and crying out with the eventual orgasm, Severus knew that in that moment, Remus was what he needed.
"It won't be forever," Remus eventually whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Severus' cheek, "I can sense that now, but I will take what you give me."
Severus winced, but didn't argue. He knew deep down that his heart would always belong to Harry.
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Two months later, a weak, wobbly cry filled the makeshift birthing room that Dumbledore had fashioned for Severus. There was a Medi-Wizard from St Mungo's as well as Poppy Pomfrey to aid in the caesarean section for Severus.
It only took two hours before the tiny, black haired girl entered the world. Once she was cleaned and tested, the tiny infant was placed in Severus' waiting arms.
Running his fingers gently over her face, Severus couldn't help the smile from spreading across his face. "Oh so beautiful," he whispered in awe.
Remus, who was sitting beside him, leant over and placed a soft kiss on the baby's brow. "What will you call her?"
Severus coddled his daughter close and whispered out her name. "Maia Liana Snape."
"Not Potter?" Remus asked.
"Not Potter," he said firmly.
"Never?"
Severus sighed and touched Maia's nose. "Perhaps someday."
Thirteen hours later, Sirius Black came bursting into Severus' recovery room, a proud grin plastered across his face. "It's a girl. Netta Elizabeth Black. She's so tiny and... and oh, she's so beautiful."
Remus stood and embraced his friend. "How wonderful."
"And you Snape? What d'you have there?" Sirius asked, leaning over the pram that Maia was currently sleeping in.
"Maia Liana Snape," Severus said tiredly. "Give Hermione my best. I'm sure she did beautifully."
"It was insane... she was in so much pain," Sirius whispered as he stroked the top of Maia's knit cap. "But Netta is so beautiful."
"I'm sure she is," Severus said and yawned.
Sirius chuckled. "I'll let you two sleep. Congratulations Snape."
"You as well," Severus said, not having the will power or heart to snark at Sirius.
Remus' smile broadened as he hugged his best friend once more. When Sirius was gone, Remus climbed into the bed next to Severus, and wrapping up in each other's arms, they both fell straight to sleep.
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A year passed before Severus and Remus came to a decision about their relationship. Remus was hopelessly in love with Maia, and he loved Severus deeply. But he was not in love with him. They had gone from making love every night to rarely touching intimately at all.
There was always the touch comfort that Severus craved, and Remus was always happy to provide, but it had become completely devoid of all sexual intent. Remus didn't mourn the loss of their sexual relationship and Severus didn't seem to either.
It was very late in the night, Maia had finally fallen asleep and Severus was sitting up in bed, reading his Braille copy of the latest Potente Potions magazine. Remus slid into the bed and propped himself up on his elbow.
"Can we talk, Severus?"
Severus set his magazine down and nodded. "Of course."
"You and I haven't... we don't... make love anymore," Remus said carefully and touched Severus' arm when the Potions' Master opened his mouth to say something. "Clearly you don't want it, and it should be clear that I don't either. I just think we ought to address it, and perhaps redefine what we have."
Severus swallowed thickly. He was loathe to lose what he and Remus had, and feared being alone. Still, he would not keep the werewolf there against his will, no matter how much he felt he needed him. "I'll be happy to have the House Elves move your things, Remus," he managed.
Remus let out a slow breath, reached out and drew Severus down against the pillows. Placing his arm round Severus' waist, Remus kissed the other man's shoulder gently. "I'm not going anywhere, Severus. I just wanted to point out that our hearts were meant for another. I love you, Severus."
Severus winced, but then realised what the 'I love you' actually meant. With a soft smile, Severus exchanged a soft kiss with Remus. "I love you as well."
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After the third year, Remus moved to his own room, but never out of the dungeons. The touching and caressing slowly tapered off, though there would always remain chaste kisses and embraces when they were needed.
Remus never moved out of the dungeons and he became a surrogate father to Maia. And despite the animosity, Severus grew close with Sirius and Hermione, even taking part with their children. Hermione had given birth to twin boys, Ilya and Jaxson, six years after Netta was born, and in March of that year, she gave birth to another little girl, Lexie.
Severus sent out the letter to Harry once every six months, and it always came back. After ten years, Severus had all but given up, though he continued to send the owl out. He never once expected a reply, but he also didn't expect Harry to turn up at Hogwarts.
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"Albus told me I'd find you here," Remus said softly. "Maia is thoroughly upset with you."
Severus didn't startle at Remus' sudden appearance and he merely tipped his glass toward the sound of the other man's voice. "I know she is, and I'll deal with the consequences later. Did you see her? Did she get her things?"
"I've not seen her yet," Remus said, taking the whiskey from Severus. "I've come to fetch you for dinner."
"I'd prefer it in the form of liquid... the kind that dulls the pain," Severus snapped.
Remus pulled Severus to his feet. "We need to have a talk with Maia... tonight. Albus told me that Sirius didn't tell Harry about Maia, and I think we need to tell her first."
"She already knows," Severus slurred.
Remus rolled his eyes and quickly accio'd a sobering potion, shoving it in Severus' hand. "Well we still need to come clean. She knows just because she's clever."
Severus downed the potion and shuddered at the sudden loss of his drunkenness. "Fine. Go fetch her."
"We will both go fetch her," Remus said, and took Severus' hand. Pulling the snarky man along, Remus led the way to the staff room where everyone had gathered for a chat. The twins were playing quietly in the corner with a stack of wooden blocks, the baby was sleeping in the pram and Netta and Maia were pouring over their new books.
Harry, Draco, Hermione and Sirius were sitting at the table, drinking tea and catching up on things.
When Remus and Severus entered, the room went quiet. Maia looked up and broke into a huge smile. "You're back, you're back!" she cried, and threw herself into Remus' arms.
Remus chuckled and kissed the top of Maia's head. "Yes, I am. I've missed you little one."
"I missed you!" Maia said and looked up at Remus. "Did you bring me a present?"
"Perhaps. But you know you'll have to wait until after dinner."
Maia pouted just a little. "Fine. I'm having dinner with Netta, aunt Hermione and uncle Sirius."
"No, you're having dinner with us," Severus said firmly, keenly aware of Harry's gaze on him.
"Why should I?" Maia retorted. "You couldn't even spend the day with me."
Severus winced and knelt down, taking Maia's face in his hands. "I was shocked and angry, and I'm sorry. There's something we need to discuss with you, and I think you ought to join us for dinner."
Maia looked over at the table of adults who were staring at them, then at Remus. "Fine."
Remus smiled and pet Maia's head gently. "I knew you'd be agreeable. Come, we're going to eat now, and after that we can look at your present." Remus turned to the other children and winked. "And I may have left you lot a few things in your quarters as well."
The twins squealed and Netta waved a shy thank you to Remus. Remus chuckled and took Maia's hand in his. "Harry, I'm sorry I can't visit straight away. But perhaps tonight, after dinner?"
Harry nodded, his green eyes wide and slightly hurt. "Of course," he said softly. "I understand... family business."
Remus and Severus both flinched a little and Severus reached out for Remus' hand. Remus allowed the contact, knowing full well how it must've looked.
"Remus," came the sudden, very quiet voice of Draco Malfoy.
Remus turned. "Yes?"
"I'd like a word... later. Can you come by my quarters?"
"Absolutely," Remus said.
"Thank you," Draco all but whispered.
Remus nodded and together, the three left the staff room and headed for their quarters.
"Harry thinks we're together," Remus said as he closed the door.
Severus was summoning a house elf for dinner, and he froze. "Does he?"
"His expression was pretty clear about it."
Maia frowned. "But you two are together," she pointed out.
"He means a couple, like Sirius and Hermione are," Severus said in a subdued tone.
"And that matters cos you love Harry," Maia said as she took a seat.
Severus choked a bit and his sightless eyes widened. "What do you mean?"
Maia shrugged and looked at Remus. "Well clearly he's the one you love and have since... before me."
"And what else do you know, young miss?" Remus asked.
Maia crossed her arms. "Why don't you tell me."
Severus knew his daughter well enough to know what she was getting at. "You know Remus isn't your other parent."
"Yes," Maia said.
"And you know that... that... Harry is," Severus bit out.
Maia smirked. "Is he?"
Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Maia Snape..." he said in a warning tone, and then sighed." Harry Potter is your other father. I attempted to contact him about it... repeatedly, but he never received the letters."
"The owl every six months?" Maia asked as she tucked into her chicken and potatoes.
"Yes."
"Will you tell him?"
Remus cleared his throat. "Would you like him to know, little one?"
Maia shrugged. "I think it's only fair."
"I'll tell him... when the time is right."
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It was well after Maia had gone to bed that a soft knock sounded at the door. Remus had gone to visit with Harry, so Severus ambled to the door and opened it.
He didn't recognise the scent. "Yes?"
"Hello Severus." It was Draco, still speaking painfully quietly.
Severus blinked and then stepped aside to let Draco inside. "Remus is still with Harry."
"I know, I've already met with him. I just wanted to say hello and apologise."
Severus led the way to the lounge. "Whatever for?"
"Not letting you know I was alive. Albus said... said you mourned."
"I worried, I didn't mourn," Severus snapped out the half truth. "What did happen to you, Draco?"
Draco took in a deep breath, and slowly took Severus' hand. Gently laying the Potions' Master's fingers on his face, he held his breath as Severus traced the scar.
The bumps were very familiar, and it took Severus a moment to realise what it was he was touching. "You were bitten," he gasped.
"Many times," Draco said. "I have... a lot of scars." Draco slowly filled Severus in on the torture he had endured. "I killed them all, Severus," he concluded, crying softly. "Remus... Remus and I are the only ones left."
A slow shock passed through Severus, and he sat back, breathing heavily. "Did you tell Remus?"
Draco let out a slow breath. "Yes. He took it surprisingly well."
"Remus doesn't take well to mentions of torture or rape," Severus explained in a hollow tone.
"He mentioned that," Draco said.
"I'm sorry Draco, for what you've had to endure. I can sympathise, though I think I've blocked most of it out."
Draco reached out and squeezed Severus' hand. "I think we can move on now, though. That's why I'm here."
Severus nodded. "I hope so," he whispered, thinking only of his heart, and the man it belonged to.
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The welcoming feast was the next time Severus was in the same room as Harry. Harry had left Hogwarts until the night before term started, and gave no explanation for it. Draco joined him, and also said nothing to anyone.
Harry, Draco, Sirius, Hermione, Remus and Severus were all seated at the staff table now, Hermione cradling her baby, and the twins safely at the Burrow with their gran.
Dumbledore stood to make his announcements just as the first years entered the Hall, and the Sorting Hat sang its song. A few moments later, the sorting began. Gryffindor and Hufflepuff gained a student before, "Black, Netta," was called.
Each of the four men held their breaths as the girl took her seat on the stool. There was a long silence before...
"Slytherin!"
Severus smiled. "Ha," he hissed and held out his hand. "I'm never wrong."
Sirius rolled his eyes and slapped a Galleon in Severus' outstretched palm. Netta gave a sheepish wave as she took her seat at the Slytherin table.
More students were sorted, a fair share going to each house. Then, "Snape, Maia."
The men held their breaths again. "Gryffindor," Sirius hissed.
"Slytherin," Severus hissed back.
Remus smirked as the Sorting Hat's brim opened wide. "Ravenclaw!"
"Ha!" Remus declared and snatched the Galleon from Severus.
Severus rolled his eyes, but allowed Remus to kiss his cheek. "Yes well... better than Gryffindor."
Maia took her seat at the table and caught Remus' eye. "Is he mad?" she mouthed.
Remus laughed and nudged Severus. "She wants to know if you're mad."
Severus snorted. "Of course not," he said, directing his head toward the Ravenclaw table. Maia saw, grinned and waved.
"She's waving."
"Oh of all the sentimental rubbish," Severus snarled under his breath, but wiggled his fingers just a little bit in his daughter's direction.
The feast continued and the students chattered happily. When Dumbledore announced it was time for them to leave, Maia quickly rushed up and stole a kiss from both Severus and Remus.
"I know, I know, this isn't allowed," she breathed. "I just wanted to make sure you're okay with it."
Severus pet his daughter's cheek. "I am, now get, before I take House Points."
Maia rolled her eyes and dashed out of the hall with the rest of the first years. As Severus and Remus prepared to head down to their quarters, Severus was stayed by a sudden warm hand on his arm.
"Severus, we need to talk." It was Harry.
Severus stiffened. "Yes, I know. How about my office, just before breakfast?"
"Alright, see you then," Harry said, and quickly turned to leave.
Remus took Severus' hand and leant into his ear. "Would you like me to be there?"
Severus shook his head. "Not this time. I need to do this on my own."