Title: Core of all Lies
Author: Shakia
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Andromeda, just love writing this! :D -wishes she did-
Rating: Didn't say this before, but I might have to say PG-13 O.o
Summary: Trish, a captian of a small ship named Ceteri, saves Harper from slave traders who tell him they have proof the Andromeda crew sold him to them. Harper convinces Trish to help him find Andromeda. After four long years of searching they finally find her, but it's anything but the reunion they expected when they find out what Andromeda's dealt with through out those four years.
Authors Notes: Ok, another short chapter sorry 'bout that! This chapter's in Beka's point of view and what she's been through, so I hope you enjoy it!
When Dylan had first let him come abourd she was so furious, she was hurt, and she was again torn. Didn't he remember what she had been through? Didn't any of them? Didn't they even remember what had happened that first year he had died? Or even just a year earlier? No. It was too soon. She couldn't go through it again and she wouldn't go through it again. The hate she felt for the Abyss was beyond anything she had ever felt. He had not only taken Harper away from them in front of their eyes, but had toyed with them. Sending three, THREE clones of him to their ship to destroy them. She remembered so clearly the way she had sobbed and thrown her arms around the first one, holding on for deer life and refusing to let go. She had poured her heart out to him, suddenly feeling more joy than she had in the year before when Harper had died. Then she found out. Found it it wasn't him. He had ripped her arm off and even now a days she could still feel the ghost pain seer through her as she remembered him doing it. Feel the blood gush out, staining her cloths and spilling onto the ground. Remembered just as he was about to kill her Dylan shooting him down. After that she broke again. She had not only lost Harper once, but twice. Of course her crew wouldn't leave her alone because of what she had done when Harper had first died. But she needed to be alone so desperatly. Didn't they understand that she had felt such joy, such hope and such happiness only to have it all destroyed again? Only to have Harper ripped away from her? The second time had been almost as bad. None of them believed it was him. Of course they didn't. But he was sure one good actor. Just like the one they now had aboard the ship. Somehow she started to believe him little by little, but wouldn't admitt it, not even to herself. Then, of course as soon as he got near a place where he could access the ship's computer he nearly destroyed Andromeda. She had to shoot him.
"Would you really shoot me Beka? Seamus Harper who's put so much trust in you?" The words stung her so bad, digging their way into her soul. Especially because it was Harper's voice that said it. But now a days she had to remind herself it wasn't Harper. No. Harper was dead. So she fired. Shot him down. That moment would forever be in her memory, no matter how much she wished it wasn't. The cry he let out, the blood spilling over the floor, splashing to the ground. The way he lay there, his lifless eyes fixed on her. Her heart had already been shattered twice, why not once more? But again she not only lost her heart. Because of that moment, because of what she had done, because his words and...because the last thing that had happened before Harper had first died...It happened again. She had snapped again. The first time had been worse, but of course going insane never got easier. The first time she had tried to kill herself, nearly sucseeding too. She had truley been insane the first time. Tyr had saved her, though neither of them ever spoke of the day they stood in the slipstream core, her over the side while he by the railing. She betted she would've tried to kill herself even if she hadn't lost it. Harper meant so much to her, they'd been through so much, he couldn't be dead. She spent a whole year in that stupid hospitle. Then again after she had shot the clone Harper. She had been able to gather her sanity a bit quicker. Then almost a month after she got back onto the Andromeda another one came. Beka couldn't handle another one and they all knew it. But they shut him in the brig anyways. Trance had visited him while bringing him food and she even had gotten close enough to him to start believing his stories. But only slightly. Though that was enough for the clone. He finally convinced Trance to come into the cell with him and that's where he acted. Who knows why he hadn't left before then or taken her without luring her in. Maybe the Abyss wanted to crush not just their bodies, but their souls. Maybe he hadn't been able to before. What ever the reason he took her captive and walked through the walls as though they were thin air. Beka remembered this too. She remembered sitting in her quarters, tears spilling from her eyes for the thousandth time that week. She remembered as he had come into her room through the walls holding a knife to Trance's throat. She remembered the struggle that followed and how he had plunged the knife into Trance's chest. She had collapsed, her blood leaving another stain on Beka's floor. Beka had nothing to fight with and with his inhanced inhuman strength plus a knife he had the upper hand. By some miracle she had managed to outsmart him, leaving him dead on her floor. That was one of the things that made her knew that wasn't Harper. Harper could've never been outsmarted. She too collapsed in a bloody daze, but only after deactivating her privacy mode. Why had he gone to her room? Why the heck was the Abyss doing this? Why did she have to be crushed so many times? Well she wouldn't go through it again. All the anger, all the sorrow, confusion and utter, horrible loathing she felt within her that had mounted over the years were taken out on that new clone. On the thing that would again break her, maybe even send her off the edge permanantly. The thing that would break her crew. She was so angry at Dylan for doing this, for risking this. She would stop this from happening again and she would find out why they were doing this. So she had gone into the room. Had seen the person sitting on that chair, though knew it wasn't him. He had died. She had reminded herself. He had died, this was another sick game. She had ended up shooting him and at the time didn't regret any moment of it. She was finally able to repay him for what he had done to her. For taking away Harper. For ripping her shattered heart out so many times. She had been prepared to shoot him again, to watch him suffer like they had made her suffer but suddenly he said something. Something that made her blood run cold.
"You hit me." The words struck through her, peircing her soul and ringing through her head. One of the things that had drove her over the edge had been the last thing that had happened before he had died. She remembered this too all too clearly. They had argued over something and she had ended up hitting him. That would be the one moment she would regret for the rest of her life. Would be the thing that haunted her in the waking and sleeping world. And yet, she had never told anyone. Not the doctors at the hospitle. Not her crew. Not anyone. Harper's whole being seemed to cry out "little lost boy", much like she had seen when sitting beside his bed when he awoke from a nightmare. That look no clone could have mimicked. No one could've. Then, suddenly he lunged at her, screaming her name out so desperatley, so frantically...The next thing she knew she was against the wall, her head throbbing painfully. She looked to where he had been only to find a large pile of rubble in his place and a great amount of dust rising into the air. That's where she sat now, staring in disbelief at the pile before her, at the place where she had just been standing with her gun out, prepared to fire. Her breath quickened as she tried to grasp what had happened. Slowly her mind began to process the fact that he had saved her life. That he had taken the blow. That he had remembered something she had never once told anyone. Before she knew it she was on her feet, rushing frantically to the pile. She began to desperatly heave off the large peices of concrete and metal, praying, hoping beyond anything that he was still alive. Though she did this, she had still not come to terms of who he really was. At this moment she didn't care. She didn't care if she would turn out being wrong, she didn't care if the doctors had told her thousands and thousands of times that he was dead. She just kept digging, kept throwing the peices from the pile. Her hands began to bleed, pouring the familiar sticky liquid over them, though she didn't care. Her eyes began to sting with tears as she frantically carried on, the pile of rubble now becoming more and more smaller. Finally as she lifted another one a bloody hand was there to greet her. Then an arm and finally his head. Though she didn't pause to stare at it and instead carried on her task until her bloody hands clasped one of the last large chunk of ceiling that lay in the pile. She dropped it to the side and as her eyes met his blood coated face she felt dread rush through her. What if he was dead? A panic that she had become so familiar with rose within her and she found herself afraid to reach out and check for a pulse. But she found she didn't have to as suddenly with a whimper his bright blue eyes opened. His eyes suddenly grew wide with terror and he looked up above him, locking them onto her. She couldn't find her voice as he stared at her. Only his hard, erractic breath could be heard in the room and although his features etched with pain he didn't brake his gaze to look at how bad his wounds really were. Beka's eyes studied every feature in his body, every movment and every depth of the look within his own eyes. No clone could be so perfect. No clone could be so much like her Harper. As her eyes continued to stare into his gaze she realized with a sick fear of her own that the fear in his eyes were much like the one he gave her back on the earley days in the Maru. Back when he had worked for days on end with no sleep, fear of being beaten or hit. She remembered that he hadn't even let her touch him way back then. It had taken an entire year for her to be able to touch him without him recoiling or pulling away. Nothing like a hug, though, just little things. Little things like her hand brushing against his cheek or wiping a smudge of dirt from his face. No one, not anyone could mimick the look he was giving her and she would bet she was one of the only ones who recognized it. Tears slowly began to escape, rolling down her cheek and splashing to the ground.
"Harper?" She asked, her voice shaking so voilently she wasn't even sure if he had made her out. He didn't respond, only staring at her with those big fearful eyes of his. She let a sob escape her lips and the tears flowed more frequently. The ship suddenly jolted voilently, causing her to fly again to the wall behind her, slamming into it. Only after doing so did she realized Harper had let out a loud cry of pain as the sudden jolt caused the remaining rubble upon him to tear into him as they, along with him, catapolted themselves to the wall. He coughed and groaned as he lay beside the wall, a long streak of blood trailing from his former spot. Beka picked herself up and ran over to him, her eyes scanning over all his wounds frantically. The terror and fear consumed her now. He probably wasn't going to make it. He began to force himself to sit up as she aprouched and she moved down to gently motion him back down, but he recoiled instantly and flinched visabley. She half knelt, frozen in her spot as she did. She wanted to say something, wanted to scream, to apoligize, wanted to sob, but nothing came out. She just knelt there, tears flowing down her cheeks. She had to get him to medical. If she didn't, he'd die. This realization was a slow one, but her mind began to process it quickly. She knew she would have to get him to lean on her and she knew that he wouldn't. She bit her lip, trying to force words out to explain. "Harper...I-I need to get you to Medical." She explained, her voice still shaking voilently. He didn't respond, though his eyes went in and out of focus as he stared at her. She took a chance and reached down her hand, preparing to try and get him to his feet. He turned his head away and shut his eyes as though afraid she would hit him. That in itself made her already shattered heart brake. But she had to do this. Beka looped her arm under his and started to get up, taking him up with her. His breathing became more quicker as she did and though she wanted to kill herself on the spot for doing this to Harper, led him toward the door. It was slow just getting him there, for one of his legs had been shot, crimson red blood still oozing from it, while the other cripled from the rubble crashed down on him. It had been a miracle in itself he had survived. Another lump appeared in her throat at this thought as she tried to surpress a sob. She had to think about that later.
The door swished open to reveal a dimly lit hallway bathed in a red glow. Harper grunted with every step and Beka found herself practically dragging him down it. She noted as the fear clutched her heart again that a trail of blood was left in their wake. They had to hurry.
"Andromeda!" She yelled, hoping desperatly for a responce. "Andromeda, I need a stretcher, this is a medical emergency!" She yelled. She waited for a moment, expecting to hear the ship's urgent reply, but it never came. "Andromeda!" She yelled desperatly. Again, nothing. She looked beside her to Harper to realize his eyes were drooping shut. "Please answer Andromeda!" She begged to the empty hallway, tears continuing down her already red eyes. Harper fell unconscious, his head falling to her shoulder as he started to slip through her grasp. She lay him down on the ground and looked around her desperatly hoping someone to be there. But again no one was there. They were alone. She returned her gaze to the limp form before her, knowing that the only way she could get help was to leave him. How could she? How could she abandon him here like that? She shut her eyes, forcing herself to realize that if she didn't he would die. She bit her lower lip and opened her eyes, looking down at him desperalty.
"I'm so sorry." She sobbed in barley a whisper as she got to her feet. Then after one last look behind her took off down the hall, faster then she ever remembered going. Tears flew from her eyes, blurring her gaze and her feet clattered against the hallway. Everything was so jumbled, so confused, so hectic. Her only thought was that she had to find help. She had to save him before it was too late. She couldn't lose him again or she swore she would kill herself. No. She promised she'd kill herself if she was the cause of his death. Though she wasn't sure how, or why, or if it was even possible, she knew that was Seamus Harper. And she knew she wouldn't allow him to die at any cost. She wouldn't let him die.
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TBC. Another short chapter, I know X.x But please, please, please review!! -bribes with Sparky Cola-
Author: Shakia
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: I don't own Andromeda, just love writing this! :D -wishes she did-
Rating: Didn't say this before, but I might have to say PG-13 O.o
Summary: Trish, a captian of a small ship named Ceteri, saves Harper from slave traders who tell him they have proof the Andromeda crew sold him to them. Harper convinces Trish to help him find Andromeda. After four long years of searching they finally find her, but it's anything but the reunion they expected when they find out what Andromeda's dealt with through out those four years.
Authors Notes: Ok, another short chapter sorry 'bout that! This chapter's in Beka's point of view and what she's been through, so I hope you enjoy it!
When Dylan had first let him come abourd she was so furious, she was hurt, and she was again torn. Didn't he remember what she had been through? Didn't any of them? Didn't they even remember what had happened that first year he had died? Or even just a year earlier? No. It was too soon. She couldn't go through it again and she wouldn't go through it again. The hate she felt for the Abyss was beyond anything she had ever felt. He had not only taken Harper away from them in front of their eyes, but had toyed with them. Sending three, THREE clones of him to their ship to destroy them. She remembered so clearly the way she had sobbed and thrown her arms around the first one, holding on for deer life and refusing to let go. She had poured her heart out to him, suddenly feeling more joy than she had in the year before when Harper had died. Then she found out. Found it it wasn't him. He had ripped her arm off and even now a days she could still feel the ghost pain seer through her as she remembered him doing it. Feel the blood gush out, staining her cloths and spilling onto the ground. Remembered just as he was about to kill her Dylan shooting him down. After that she broke again. She had not only lost Harper once, but twice. Of course her crew wouldn't leave her alone because of what she had done when Harper had first died. But she needed to be alone so desperatly. Didn't they understand that she had felt such joy, such hope and such happiness only to have it all destroyed again? Only to have Harper ripped away from her? The second time had been almost as bad. None of them believed it was him. Of course they didn't. But he was sure one good actor. Just like the one they now had aboard the ship. Somehow she started to believe him little by little, but wouldn't admitt it, not even to herself. Then, of course as soon as he got near a place where he could access the ship's computer he nearly destroyed Andromeda. She had to shoot him.
"Would you really shoot me Beka? Seamus Harper who's put so much trust in you?" The words stung her so bad, digging their way into her soul. Especially because it was Harper's voice that said it. But now a days she had to remind herself it wasn't Harper. No. Harper was dead. So she fired. Shot him down. That moment would forever be in her memory, no matter how much she wished it wasn't. The cry he let out, the blood spilling over the floor, splashing to the ground. The way he lay there, his lifless eyes fixed on her. Her heart had already been shattered twice, why not once more? But again she not only lost her heart. Because of that moment, because of what she had done, because his words and...because the last thing that had happened before Harper had first died...It happened again. She had snapped again. The first time had been worse, but of course going insane never got easier. The first time she had tried to kill herself, nearly sucseeding too. She had truley been insane the first time. Tyr had saved her, though neither of them ever spoke of the day they stood in the slipstream core, her over the side while he by the railing. She betted she would've tried to kill herself even if she hadn't lost it. Harper meant so much to her, they'd been through so much, he couldn't be dead. She spent a whole year in that stupid hospitle. Then again after she had shot the clone Harper. She had been able to gather her sanity a bit quicker. Then almost a month after she got back onto the Andromeda another one came. Beka couldn't handle another one and they all knew it. But they shut him in the brig anyways. Trance had visited him while bringing him food and she even had gotten close enough to him to start believing his stories. But only slightly. Though that was enough for the clone. He finally convinced Trance to come into the cell with him and that's where he acted. Who knows why he hadn't left before then or taken her without luring her in. Maybe the Abyss wanted to crush not just their bodies, but their souls. Maybe he hadn't been able to before. What ever the reason he took her captive and walked through the walls as though they were thin air. Beka remembered this too. She remembered sitting in her quarters, tears spilling from her eyes for the thousandth time that week. She remembered as he had come into her room through the walls holding a knife to Trance's throat. She remembered the struggle that followed and how he had plunged the knife into Trance's chest. She had collapsed, her blood leaving another stain on Beka's floor. Beka had nothing to fight with and with his inhanced inhuman strength plus a knife he had the upper hand. By some miracle she had managed to outsmart him, leaving him dead on her floor. That was one of the things that made her knew that wasn't Harper. Harper could've never been outsmarted. She too collapsed in a bloody daze, but only after deactivating her privacy mode. Why had he gone to her room? Why the heck was the Abyss doing this? Why did she have to be crushed so many times? Well she wouldn't go through it again. All the anger, all the sorrow, confusion and utter, horrible loathing she felt within her that had mounted over the years were taken out on that new clone. On the thing that would again break her, maybe even send her off the edge permanantly. The thing that would break her crew. She was so angry at Dylan for doing this, for risking this. She would stop this from happening again and she would find out why they were doing this. So she had gone into the room. Had seen the person sitting on that chair, though knew it wasn't him. He had died. She had reminded herself. He had died, this was another sick game. She had ended up shooting him and at the time didn't regret any moment of it. She was finally able to repay him for what he had done to her. For taking away Harper. For ripping her shattered heart out so many times. She had been prepared to shoot him again, to watch him suffer like they had made her suffer but suddenly he said something. Something that made her blood run cold.
"You hit me." The words struck through her, peircing her soul and ringing through her head. One of the things that had drove her over the edge had been the last thing that had happened before he had died. She remembered this too all too clearly. They had argued over something and she had ended up hitting him. That would be the one moment she would regret for the rest of her life. Would be the thing that haunted her in the waking and sleeping world. And yet, she had never told anyone. Not the doctors at the hospitle. Not her crew. Not anyone. Harper's whole being seemed to cry out "little lost boy", much like she had seen when sitting beside his bed when he awoke from a nightmare. That look no clone could have mimicked. No one could've. Then, suddenly he lunged at her, screaming her name out so desperatley, so frantically...The next thing she knew she was against the wall, her head throbbing painfully. She looked to where he had been only to find a large pile of rubble in his place and a great amount of dust rising into the air. That's where she sat now, staring in disbelief at the pile before her, at the place where she had just been standing with her gun out, prepared to fire. Her breath quickened as she tried to grasp what had happened. Slowly her mind began to process the fact that he had saved her life. That he had taken the blow. That he had remembered something she had never once told anyone. Before she knew it she was on her feet, rushing frantically to the pile. She began to desperatly heave off the large peices of concrete and metal, praying, hoping beyond anything that he was still alive. Though she did this, she had still not come to terms of who he really was. At this moment she didn't care. She didn't care if she would turn out being wrong, she didn't care if the doctors had told her thousands and thousands of times that he was dead. She just kept digging, kept throwing the peices from the pile. Her hands began to bleed, pouring the familiar sticky liquid over them, though she didn't care. Her eyes began to sting with tears as she frantically carried on, the pile of rubble now becoming more and more smaller. Finally as she lifted another one a bloody hand was there to greet her. Then an arm and finally his head. Though she didn't pause to stare at it and instead carried on her task until her bloody hands clasped one of the last large chunk of ceiling that lay in the pile. She dropped it to the side and as her eyes met his blood coated face she felt dread rush through her. What if he was dead? A panic that she had become so familiar with rose within her and she found herself afraid to reach out and check for a pulse. But she found she didn't have to as suddenly with a whimper his bright blue eyes opened. His eyes suddenly grew wide with terror and he looked up above him, locking them onto her. She couldn't find her voice as he stared at her. Only his hard, erractic breath could be heard in the room and although his features etched with pain he didn't brake his gaze to look at how bad his wounds really were. Beka's eyes studied every feature in his body, every movment and every depth of the look within his own eyes. No clone could be so perfect. No clone could be so much like her Harper. As her eyes continued to stare into his gaze she realized with a sick fear of her own that the fear in his eyes were much like the one he gave her back on the earley days in the Maru. Back when he had worked for days on end with no sleep, fear of being beaten or hit. She remembered that he hadn't even let her touch him way back then. It had taken an entire year for her to be able to touch him without him recoiling or pulling away. Nothing like a hug, though, just little things. Little things like her hand brushing against his cheek or wiping a smudge of dirt from his face. No one, not anyone could mimick the look he was giving her and she would bet she was one of the only ones who recognized it. Tears slowly began to escape, rolling down her cheek and splashing to the ground.
"Harper?" She asked, her voice shaking so voilently she wasn't even sure if he had made her out. He didn't respond, only staring at her with those big fearful eyes of his. She let a sob escape her lips and the tears flowed more frequently. The ship suddenly jolted voilently, causing her to fly again to the wall behind her, slamming into it. Only after doing so did she realized Harper had let out a loud cry of pain as the sudden jolt caused the remaining rubble upon him to tear into him as they, along with him, catapolted themselves to the wall. He coughed and groaned as he lay beside the wall, a long streak of blood trailing from his former spot. Beka picked herself up and ran over to him, her eyes scanning over all his wounds frantically. The terror and fear consumed her now. He probably wasn't going to make it. He began to force himself to sit up as she aprouched and she moved down to gently motion him back down, but he recoiled instantly and flinched visabley. She half knelt, frozen in her spot as she did. She wanted to say something, wanted to scream, to apoligize, wanted to sob, but nothing came out. She just knelt there, tears flowing down her cheeks. She had to get him to medical. If she didn't, he'd die. This realization was a slow one, but her mind began to process it quickly. She knew she would have to get him to lean on her and she knew that he wouldn't. She bit her lip, trying to force words out to explain. "Harper...I-I need to get you to Medical." She explained, her voice still shaking voilently. He didn't respond, though his eyes went in and out of focus as he stared at her. She took a chance and reached down her hand, preparing to try and get him to his feet. He turned his head away and shut his eyes as though afraid she would hit him. That in itself made her already shattered heart brake. But she had to do this. Beka looped her arm under his and started to get up, taking him up with her. His breathing became more quicker as she did and though she wanted to kill herself on the spot for doing this to Harper, led him toward the door. It was slow just getting him there, for one of his legs had been shot, crimson red blood still oozing from it, while the other cripled from the rubble crashed down on him. It had been a miracle in itself he had survived. Another lump appeared in her throat at this thought as she tried to surpress a sob. She had to think about that later.
The door swished open to reveal a dimly lit hallway bathed in a red glow. Harper grunted with every step and Beka found herself practically dragging him down it. She noted as the fear clutched her heart again that a trail of blood was left in their wake. They had to hurry.
"Andromeda!" She yelled, hoping desperatly for a responce. "Andromeda, I need a stretcher, this is a medical emergency!" She yelled. She waited for a moment, expecting to hear the ship's urgent reply, but it never came. "Andromeda!" She yelled desperatly. Again, nothing. She looked beside her to Harper to realize his eyes were drooping shut. "Please answer Andromeda!" She begged to the empty hallway, tears continuing down her already red eyes. Harper fell unconscious, his head falling to her shoulder as he started to slip through her grasp. She lay him down on the ground and looked around her desperatly hoping someone to be there. But again no one was there. They were alone. She returned her gaze to the limp form before her, knowing that the only way she could get help was to leave him. How could she? How could she abandon him here like that? She shut her eyes, forcing herself to realize that if she didn't he would die. She bit her lower lip and opened her eyes, looking down at him desperalty.
"I'm so sorry." She sobbed in barley a whisper as she got to her feet. Then after one last look behind her took off down the hall, faster then she ever remembered going. Tears flew from her eyes, blurring her gaze and her feet clattered against the hallway. Everything was so jumbled, so confused, so hectic. Her only thought was that she had to find help. She had to save him before it was too late. She couldn't lose him again or she swore she would kill herself. No. She promised she'd kill herself if she was the cause of his death. Though she wasn't sure how, or why, or if it was even possible, she knew that was Seamus Harper. And she knew she wouldn't allow him to die at any cost. She wouldn't let him die.
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TBC. Another short chapter, I know X.x But please, please, please review!! -bribes with Sparky Cola-