By: Melphie13
AN: Well, what do you know? Two chapters in a row! I myself think that waiting 3 days for an update is a long wait, so I consider this a really long wait. *holds gun to forehead* I think it may be necessary to punish myself..no? I shouldn't? Oh, ok. *puts gun away* Fine. As long as you can forgive me then I'll be fine.
Disclaimer: Everyone and everything belongs to Tolkien except my Orcs and my personalities. Again, if you find these personalities offending to the way they normally are, forgive me and you don't have to read any more if you don't want to. :0)
Additional Author's Note: Another thing about the characters. I set this whole story up in a way that it seems like they all knew each other even before the Fellowship formed. I know that is AU, but it's just kind of fun to have them all buddies and hanging out together all the time. Again, you have been warned. Also you might note in the story that Arwen does a lot of the household chores. Well, for other reasons that you might find out, she is sort of the housekeeper around there. Don't ask me where I got that, 'cause I'm not sure I'd have an answer.
Ok, on with the next chapter!
P.S. ~**~ means that we are switching scenes here and going to another situation in the story. *** means that we are still with the same group of people, but at a different time or a different place or something. :0)
Chapter 4
"Wake up you lazy Orcs!!!" Boss shouted at the top of his lungs in the little cave, very angry at the fact that all of them had slept in until noon. "Get up NOW!!"
"Aw, five more minutes?" Pugley begged, pulling his "pillow" (which was made from the sack he had been given the evening before) over his head and muffling out all other sounds of protest that came from his mouth.
Boss glared. "This is not a DAY OFF you guys, GEETT UPPP!!!" And with that, the small Orc gave them each a good hard kick, causing yelps of pain and surprise to come from all of them. "Now unless you want me to be doing that until you're black and blue, you'll get your lazy selves out of bed and get ready for our plan tonight!"
"Awww...I don't wanna go kidnapping Elves..." Bugley groaned.
"Well, you want treasure don't you?" Boss taunted.
Bugley immediately brightened at this. "Yeah!"
"THEN GET OUT OF BED!!!"
~**~
"GET OUT OF BED!!!" Elrond screamed at the top of his lungs to the closed door in front of him, pounding on the innocent piece of furniture until it almost broke down. "ARAGORN!!!"
He just knew that Ranger was deliberately ignoring him. Why ever had he agreed to let that darned Dunadan stay at his house?!
"Aragorn, it is TWELVE O'CLOCK NOON!!" He shouted at the door. "And unless you want to miss lunch as much as you missed breakfast you will COME OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!!!"
Still no reply came from inside the room.
Elrond was seriously about to grab the nearest weapon and break the door itself down, but just then, Arwen herself came up the stairs to see what all the noise was about.
"What is going on Father?" She asked worriedly.
Elrond was completely red in the face and looking like he was about to explode. "Aragorn WILL NOT come out of there!!!" He shouted unnecessarily loud for the normal ways of hearing. "He is IGNORING me, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING IGNORED!!!"
"Yes Father, I can see that." Arwen said patiently. "But do think perhaps he might have gone outside for a while? You know, through the window or something?"
"Oh no, I made sure that there were NO windows in his room." Elrond said darkly, turning a raged face on the closed door again.
"Mmm. I see." Arwen nodded briefly, and then quietly walked up to the door, knocking softly on it. "Aragorn, honey, time to get up sweetie! Lunch is ready!" She called calmly.
It took about one second after that knock for the door to open right up, a very smiley Aragorn standing in the doorway. "Good morning, shnookums!" He said cheerfully.
Elrond could feel himself about to go overboard in his rage.
Arwen smiled patiently at the happy Ranger. "Good morning Aragorn. I made some salad for lunch, and I thought you might like something to eat." The Elf maiden explained sweetly.
"Well, don't mind if I do, my love!" The dandy Dunadan replied happily, taking her hand and cheerfully heading downstairs with Arwen right beside him.
Elrond scowled darkly and grouchily headed after them.
Once in the dining room, the Elven Lord found that Arwen and Aragorn were already seated, along with Gandalf and the two frequently visiting Dwarves, Gimli and Gloin. (Valar knew why those Dwarves showed up all the time)
At last regaining his senses a bit, Elrond put on a dignified face and nodded to the small, staring group. "Ahem, hello everyone." He said simply, sitting down right at his spot, at the head of the table and nodded for Arwen to start serving out the salad.
Arwen nodded without hesitation, standing up and dishing out a good portion of fresh green salad for everyone.
Aragorn watched this for a few seconds, but then found his gaze wandering over once again to the empty seat at his left. "Pops?" He asked, more quietly and less enthusiastic than usual.
Elrond glared at him. "What?!" He snapped.
Despite the rather harsh reply, Aragorn simply looked over sadly at the Elven Lord. "When's B gonna get here?" He asked mournfully.
Elrond rolled his eyes and stuck his fork into a big leaf of lettuce. "Whenever he gets here." He grumbled.
Aragorn frowned. "He sure is taking a long time." Suddenly, a very suspicious glare came to the Ranger's face. "You did send for him, right Pops?" He asked, almost threateningly.
Elrond rolled his eyes again. "Of course I sent for him!!! If I invited you, then I certainly invited Boromir."
Aragorn put on a very annoying, innocent expression. "But you didn't invite me Pops." He pointed out simply.
Arwen quickly cleared her throat and gave Aragorn a disapproving look.
"Don't remind me." Elrond replied miserably.
"Uh, duh, I think that Boromir's all late and stuff!" Gandalf pointed out stupidly.
"He's always late!" Gimli added snobbily.
"Now, now." Arwen cautioned gently. "Boromir has a lot of things to do over in Gondor. He was probably just delayed by some important duties."
The Dwarves snorted, and Gandalf just stared blankly as if he hadn't understood a single word she said. (which was probably true anyway)
~**~
"Uh, Boss, which Elf are we getting exactly?" Pugley finally asked in confusion, looking up from the cave floor where he had been really trying to figure out their plans for that night.
"Yeah, do we have like distinct plans or something?" Slim added.
"Of COURSE we do! Can you think of what would happen if we DIDN'T?!" Boss shot back. "It would be simply incongruous."
"Ok, then who are we grabbing?" Bugley asked.
At this, Boss suddenly looked as if he had been asked to answer a math problem like this: (100,599 x 555,222 + 679, 000 / 567=?) In three seconds, mentally.
The rest of the Orcs stared at him expectantly.
Approximately five minutes later, after a rather long period of silence, Boss seemed to come to a conclusion. "I don't know yet."
Slim, Bugley and Pugley glanced at each other in confusion.
"Do you think he'll really think of something that way?" Slim asked in awe as they eyed their leader hanging upside down from a tree and looking as if he was trying to think while upside-down.
"I dunno. You never can tell with him." Pugley sighed, resting both his dirty arms down on the log they were hiding behind. Boss had told the other Orcs strictly not to bother him while he was "thinking".
"Well...when's he gonna move?" Bugley asked impatiently.
"He is moving. Or the wind's moving him at least." Slim told the other Orc wisely; watching slowly as Boss gradually swayed the tiniest bit in the rushing wind of the high hills near the waterfalls.
"You know, I really don't think that that is going to work." Pugley sighed, shaking his head mournfully.
At that very moment, Boss' triumphant shout rang out long and clear.
"I HAVE IT!!!"
Unfortunately, not only did this idea hit him, but the rope that he had tied himself to the branch with also broke, sending the smallest Orc sailing right down headfirst onto the ground below.
There was silence after that, and all the other Orcs just blinked at their fallen leader and tried to decide what to do next.
***
"...Boss...?"
"...dead...?"
"...aybe he's..."
"...no..."
"..ut up!"
"...ould be th..."
"...alive...?
That's pretty much all Boss could make out from his state of unconsciousness, but it was enough to bring him back to consciousness.
Needless to say Boss was very terrified from having been unconscious, but aside from that and a severe headache, he felt fine.
At least, he felt fine until the annoying voices around him started to make his headache worse.
"QUIET!!!" He shouted as loud as he could without causing himself too much pain, and also causing his companions to jump a good two feet back from shock.
After recovering a bit though, Slim and Bugley and Pugley all rushed over to Boss once again, quickly saying their wildly-delivered apologies and frantically helping their leader to his feet.
"Oh, GET OFF OF ME!!!" Boss bellowed, shoving the hands that held him right off and straightening his always-wrinkled shirt out. "I should think a good Orc would know better than to come up to a wounded one and just shout at it!"
"But we didn't Boss!" Bugley protested quickly. "We were just helpin' you!"
"Well, I don't NEED help!!" The commonly yelling Orc snapped, glaring at each of his wide-eyed companions in turn.
The other Orcs all blinked in a confusion and surprise.
Boss scowled and turned away...and then noticed something.
The sun was setting.
"AAUUGGGHHH!!!" The horrified Orc yelped, turning around abruptly once again to face his even-more-startled companions. "The sun's almost set!!! WE'VE GOTTA GET READY!!!"
Slim, Bugley and Pugley still did not look in the least bit hurried. "Boss, don't we have to wait until like, really late at night when all the Elves are asleep?" Slim asked.
"Yeah!?!" Boss glared daggers at the other Orc.
"Then why are we hurrying so much? It's not even sunset yet." Bugley protested simply.
Boss scowled. "You all had better learn to stop contradicting me." He threatened.
The other Orcs looked a bit uncomfortable, but nothing more.
"Oh, you idiots, MOVE!!!" Boss commanded in his most powerful voice, pointing firmly to the cave. "Get all the gear together! We've got some Elf- hunting to do!"
"But Boss..." Pugley protested once more.
"What?" Boss mimicked angrily.
"Uh, don't those Elves sleep with their eyes open?" The slightly intimidated creature asked.
"Yeah?" Boss replied cautiously.
"Well then, won't the Elf see us if we try to get it?" Pugley asked scaredly.
"You idiot, OF COURSE WE WON'T!!" Boss yelled, (as he normally did) knocking on Pugley's head with a hard, black fist. "Hello?! Anyone HOME IN THERE?!? Elves sleep with their eyes open, but that doesn't mean they can see while they're asleep! Got it?!"
"Er, yeah I think so." Pugley said slowly.
"Besides, their eyes are only half open. Kinda' depends on how tired they are." Boss continued importantly, hoping to gain more respect by demonstrating his "large storage of knowledge".
"Whatever you say, Boss." Pugley sighed, moving off to go help Bugley and Slim get ready.
Boss scowled. He hated Elves with a vengeance, as most Orcs did. He thought they were weird, ugly, and snobby. Nothing more, nothing less.
And that's why he didn't really mind holding one up for ransom.
All they needed to do now was get ready to go, and then strike at midnight that night!
Ok, I'm not torturing you too badly with cliffies right? I mean, these are kind of cliffies, but not all the way. You won't be rocking in your seat and whining, but you might be biting your nails a little bit or something. I try, I try.
Also, you might have picked up on a few more of my characters, mainly Gandalf and the Dwarves. All right, another thing about Gandalf, he says "uh duh" a lot before he says stuff, and speaking of "stuff", he's really dumb, so most of the stuff he says ends in "and stuff". Er, you following me here? Read this paragraph over again if you don't and try to make sense of it. *shifts weight uncomfortably* All these explanations are driving me nuts. So, thanks again readers and I'll get the next chapter up at the next opportunity!
AN: Well, what do you know? Two chapters in a row! I myself think that waiting 3 days for an update is a long wait, so I consider this a really long wait. *holds gun to forehead* I think it may be necessary to punish myself..no? I shouldn't? Oh, ok. *puts gun away* Fine. As long as you can forgive me then I'll be fine.
Disclaimer: Everyone and everything belongs to Tolkien except my Orcs and my personalities. Again, if you find these personalities offending to the way they normally are, forgive me and you don't have to read any more if you don't want to. :0)
Additional Author's Note: Another thing about the characters. I set this whole story up in a way that it seems like they all knew each other even before the Fellowship formed. I know that is AU, but it's just kind of fun to have them all buddies and hanging out together all the time. Again, you have been warned. Also you might note in the story that Arwen does a lot of the household chores. Well, for other reasons that you might find out, she is sort of the housekeeper around there. Don't ask me where I got that, 'cause I'm not sure I'd have an answer.
Ok, on with the next chapter!
P.S. ~**~ means that we are switching scenes here and going to another situation in the story. *** means that we are still with the same group of people, but at a different time or a different place or something. :0)
Chapter 4
"Wake up you lazy Orcs!!!" Boss shouted at the top of his lungs in the little cave, very angry at the fact that all of them had slept in until noon. "Get up NOW!!"
"Aw, five more minutes?" Pugley begged, pulling his "pillow" (which was made from the sack he had been given the evening before) over his head and muffling out all other sounds of protest that came from his mouth.
Boss glared. "This is not a DAY OFF you guys, GEETT UPPP!!!" And with that, the small Orc gave them each a good hard kick, causing yelps of pain and surprise to come from all of them. "Now unless you want me to be doing that until you're black and blue, you'll get your lazy selves out of bed and get ready for our plan tonight!"
"Awww...I don't wanna go kidnapping Elves..." Bugley groaned.
"Well, you want treasure don't you?" Boss taunted.
Bugley immediately brightened at this. "Yeah!"
"THEN GET OUT OF BED!!!"
~**~
"GET OUT OF BED!!!" Elrond screamed at the top of his lungs to the closed door in front of him, pounding on the innocent piece of furniture until it almost broke down. "ARAGORN!!!"
He just knew that Ranger was deliberately ignoring him. Why ever had he agreed to let that darned Dunadan stay at his house?!
"Aragorn, it is TWELVE O'CLOCK NOON!!" He shouted at the door. "And unless you want to miss lunch as much as you missed breakfast you will COME OUT OF THERE THIS INSTANT!!!"
Still no reply came from inside the room.
Elrond was seriously about to grab the nearest weapon and break the door itself down, but just then, Arwen herself came up the stairs to see what all the noise was about.
"What is going on Father?" She asked worriedly.
Elrond was completely red in the face and looking like he was about to explode. "Aragorn WILL NOT come out of there!!!" He shouted unnecessarily loud for the normal ways of hearing. "He is IGNORING me, AND I WILL NOT TOLERATE BEING IGNORED!!!"
"Yes Father, I can see that." Arwen said patiently. "But do think perhaps he might have gone outside for a while? You know, through the window or something?"
"Oh no, I made sure that there were NO windows in his room." Elrond said darkly, turning a raged face on the closed door again.
"Mmm. I see." Arwen nodded briefly, and then quietly walked up to the door, knocking softly on it. "Aragorn, honey, time to get up sweetie! Lunch is ready!" She called calmly.
It took about one second after that knock for the door to open right up, a very smiley Aragorn standing in the doorway. "Good morning, shnookums!" He said cheerfully.
Elrond could feel himself about to go overboard in his rage.
Arwen smiled patiently at the happy Ranger. "Good morning Aragorn. I made some salad for lunch, and I thought you might like something to eat." The Elf maiden explained sweetly.
"Well, don't mind if I do, my love!" The dandy Dunadan replied happily, taking her hand and cheerfully heading downstairs with Arwen right beside him.
Elrond scowled darkly and grouchily headed after them.
Once in the dining room, the Elven Lord found that Arwen and Aragorn were already seated, along with Gandalf and the two frequently visiting Dwarves, Gimli and Gloin. (Valar knew why those Dwarves showed up all the time)
At last regaining his senses a bit, Elrond put on a dignified face and nodded to the small, staring group. "Ahem, hello everyone." He said simply, sitting down right at his spot, at the head of the table and nodded for Arwen to start serving out the salad.
Arwen nodded without hesitation, standing up and dishing out a good portion of fresh green salad for everyone.
Aragorn watched this for a few seconds, but then found his gaze wandering over once again to the empty seat at his left. "Pops?" He asked, more quietly and less enthusiastic than usual.
Elrond glared at him. "What?!" He snapped.
Despite the rather harsh reply, Aragorn simply looked over sadly at the Elven Lord. "When's B gonna get here?" He asked mournfully.
Elrond rolled his eyes and stuck his fork into a big leaf of lettuce. "Whenever he gets here." He grumbled.
Aragorn frowned. "He sure is taking a long time." Suddenly, a very suspicious glare came to the Ranger's face. "You did send for him, right Pops?" He asked, almost threateningly.
Elrond rolled his eyes again. "Of course I sent for him!!! If I invited you, then I certainly invited Boromir."
Aragorn put on a very annoying, innocent expression. "But you didn't invite me Pops." He pointed out simply.
Arwen quickly cleared her throat and gave Aragorn a disapproving look.
"Don't remind me." Elrond replied miserably.
"Uh, duh, I think that Boromir's all late and stuff!" Gandalf pointed out stupidly.
"He's always late!" Gimli added snobbily.
"Now, now." Arwen cautioned gently. "Boromir has a lot of things to do over in Gondor. He was probably just delayed by some important duties."
The Dwarves snorted, and Gandalf just stared blankly as if he hadn't understood a single word she said. (which was probably true anyway)
~**~
"Uh, Boss, which Elf are we getting exactly?" Pugley finally asked in confusion, looking up from the cave floor where he had been really trying to figure out their plans for that night.
"Yeah, do we have like distinct plans or something?" Slim added.
"Of COURSE we do! Can you think of what would happen if we DIDN'T?!" Boss shot back. "It would be simply incongruous."
"Ok, then who are we grabbing?" Bugley asked.
At this, Boss suddenly looked as if he had been asked to answer a math problem like this: (100,599 x 555,222 + 679, 000 / 567=?) In three seconds, mentally.
The rest of the Orcs stared at him expectantly.
Approximately five minutes later, after a rather long period of silence, Boss seemed to come to a conclusion. "I don't know yet."
Slim, Bugley and Pugley glanced at each other in confusion.
"Do you think he'll really think of something that way?" Slim asked in awe as they eyed their leader hanging upside down from a tree and looking as if he was trying to think while upside-down.
"I dunno. You never can tell with him." Pugley sighed, resting both his dirty arms down on the log they were hiding behind. Boss had told the other Orcs strictly not to bother him while he was "thinking".
"Well...when's he gonna move?" Bugley asked impatiently.
"He is moving. Or the wind's moving him at least." Slim told the other Orc wisely; watching slowly as Boss gradually swayed the tiniest bit in the rushing wind of the high hills near the waterfalls.
"You know, I really don't think that that is going to work." Pugley sighed, shaking his head mournfully.
At that very moment, Boss' triumphant shout rang out long and clear.
"I HAVE IT!!!"
Unfortunately, not only did this idea hit him, but the rope that he had tied himself to the branch with also broke, sending the smallest Orc sailing right down headfirst onto the ground below.
There was silence after that, and all the other Orcs just blinked at their fallen leader and tried to decide what to do next.
***
"...Boss...?"
"...dead...?"
"...aybe he's..."
"...no..."
"..ut up!"
"...ould be th..."
"...alive...?
That's pretty much all Boss could make out from his state of unconsciousness, but it was enough to bring him back to consciousness.
Needless to say Boss was very terrified from having been unconscious, but aside from that and a severe headache, he felt fine.
At least, he felt fine until the annoying voices around him started to make his headache worse.
"QUIET!!!" He shouted as loud as he could without causing himself too much pain, and also causing his companions to jump a good two feet back from shock.
After recovering a bit though, Slim and Bugley and Pugley all rushed over to Boss once again, quickly saying their wildly-delivered apologies and frantically helping their leader to his feet.
"Oh, GET OFF OF ME!!!" Boss bellowed, shoving the hands that held him right off and straightening his always-wrinkled shirt out. "I should think a good Orc would know better than to come up to a wounded one and just shout at it!"
"But we didn't Boss!" Bugley protested quickly. "We were just helpin' you!"
"Well, I don't NEED help!!" The commonly yelling Orc snapped, glaring at each of his wide-eyed companions in turn.
The other Orcs all blinked in a confusion and surprise.
Boss scowled and turned away...and then noticed something.
The sun was setting.
"AAUUGGGHHH!!!" The horrified Orc yelped, turning around abruptly once again to face his even-more-startled companions. "The sun's almost set!!! WE'VE GOTTA GET READY!!!"
Slim, Bugley and Pugley still did not look in the least bit hurried. "Boss, don't we have to wait until like, really late at night when all the Elves are asleep?" Slim asked.
"Yeah!?!" Boss glared daggers at the other Orc.
"Then why are we hurrying so much? It's not even sunset yet." Bugley protested simply.
Boss scowled. "You all had better learn to stop contradicting me." He threatened.
The other Orcs looked a bit uncomfortable, but nothing more.
"Oh, you idiots, MOVE!!!" Boss commanded in his most powerful voice, pointing firmly to the cave. "Get all the gear together! We've got some Elf- hunting to do!"
"But Boss..." Pugley protested once more.
"What?" Boss mimicked angrily.
"Uh, don't those Elves sleep with their eyes open?" The slightly intimidated creature asked.
"Yeah?" Boss replied cautiously.
"Well then, won't the Elf see us if we try to get it?" Pugley asked scaredly.
"You idiot, OF COURSE WE WON'T!!" Boss yelled, (as he normally did) knocking on Pugley's head with a hard, black fist. "Hello?! Anyone HOME IN THERE?!? Elves sleep with their eyes open, but that doesn't mean they can see while they're asleep! Got it?!"
"Er, yeah I think so." Pugley said slowly.
"Besides, their eyes are only half open. Kinda' depends on how tired they are." Boss continued importantly, hoping to gain more respect by demonstrating his "large storage of knowledge".
"Whatever you say, Boss." Pugley sighed, moving off to go help Bugley and Slim get ready.
Boss scowled. He hated Elves with a vengeance, as most Orcs did. He thought they were weird, ugly, and snobby. Nothing more, nothing less.
And that's why he didn't really mind holding one up for ransom.
All they needed to do now was get ready to go, and then strike at midnight that night!
Ok, I'm not torturing you too badly with cliffies right? I mean, these are kind of cliffies, but not all the way. You won't be rocking in your seat and whining, but you might be biting your nails a little bit or something. I try, I try.
Also, you might have picked up on a few more of my characters, mainly Gandalf and the Dwarves. All right, another thing about Gandalf, he says "uh duh" a lot before he says stuff, and speaking of "stuff", he's really dumb, so most of the stuff he says ends in "and stuff". Er, you following me here? Read this paragraph over again if you don't and try to make sense of it. *shifts weight uncomfortably* All these explanations are driving me nuts. So, thanks again readers and I'll get the next chapter up at the next opportunity!