Introduction and Warnings

I have a bad habit of being unable to write a short story. What starts off as a small idea grows like a mud ball going down a hill. So I decided to force myself to write something short, with a plot of sorts, and that makes sense. Well, I got one outta three at least. Each short story is 'centered' around one Ronin (hence why there are five fics! Brilliant!). There is a lot of... crazy stuff in these. I did this on purpose because each 'confusing' thing to you is actually a memory of something that I think of when I think of the Ronins. For instance, the first story is Sage's and its called Pumpkin Seeds. There was a manga that every other word out of Sage's mouth he was requesting pumpkin to eat (I think it was actually only twice, and it was 'Seiji' not Sage but still. Who asks for pumpkin?). So when I hear pumpkins now, I think of the blond begging for some of the vegetable. Most other goof ball things in here started off like that. Everything has a purpose, down to the even the order of the fics. Some things are directly from RW, some are from other shows, and some are from my life. Yes, unfortunately some of these things are actually real. Anyways, enjoy my nonsense, I hope you have fun!

Warnings: There is one fic literally dripping with innuendos directed towards both genders (though they are mainly directed towards the male persuasion) and even some hinted plant love. I don't want to spoil which Ronin's it is so just look for the bold title. There are yaoi hints in the others, swear words, violence, questionable name calling, plant love, gun love, evil Manchester, many many nose bleeds, are you even reading these, and some curious blokes. You've been warned.

Pumpkin Seeds

Sage enjoyed his bonsai. Very much. While his friends taunt and teased him about his daily habits (who says three hours doing their hair is too long!), the plant never spoke a bad word about its master. The fact it never spoke at all is completely beside the point.

"Oh, my cute little bush. You are an adorable plant, aren't you? So fluffy." Sage normally didn't talk like this, but his bonsai made him do weird things.

Rowen walked into the bedroom, scowling when he saw Sage bent over the plant. He twitched slightly as Sage continued.

"Yes, you are. You are so beautiful." He cooed in a tone that should be reserved for children under the age of six months.

"Why, thank ya Sage. That's so nice of ya." The swordsman jumped about five feet and whirled around, a frown on his face. Rowen smirked as he continued into the room more. "Would ya like me to get ya a pink tutu?"

"Shut up." He hissed, flopping down onto the bed.

"Ah, my little usuratonkachi."

"Shut up." Sage hissed again. "Don't call me that."

Rowen didn't respond back, but was still ginning.

There was silence for a second, Rowen letting his roommate fume. "Ya know, Sagie--"

"Don't call me that." Sage mumbled, but his voice wasn't as forceful as before.

"--ya really oughta get out more."

"And you really oughta shut up."

"Well, why don't we go out?"

Sage's head whirled to face Rowen and they both blinked for a few seconds before Sage opened his mouth.

"You are not quite my type."

"'Cuz I'm not made of sugah and spice and everythin' nice?"

"No, because--"

"I don't wear a tutu?"

"No, because--"

"I'm not 5'4", ebony hair, sapphire eyes, and 125 pounds?"

"No, Rowen--"

"'Cuz I'm not--"

(In Sage's mind)

Personality 1: Emergency meeting! We have a problem!

Personality 8: Can we kill Rowen?

Personality 6: Ohh, or tie him up? We did just buy some fuzzy handcuffs...

Personality 7: You guys are all going to Hell.

Personality 2: At least we had fun!

Personality 3: Speak for yourself. This life has been nothing but an endless spin of angst and questionable feelings--

Personality 6: Questionable? I don't know about you boys but I know exactly what I want!

Personality 4: Miao, miao.

Personality 2: Hey, who let the french cat out!

Personality 8: Kill 'em all!

Personality 1: Be quiet, all of you! We need to figure out a way to get Rowen to shut up. Suggestions?

Personality 2: Go to the club.

Personality 3: What does it matter? We all are going to die.

Personality 4: Miao miao?

Personality 5: The unbalance of the world would soon fix itself and everything will be peaceful once again. Om...

Personality 6: Has nobody been listening to me? We have handcuffs! Why are we sitting around here and questioning what to do! Handcuffs people, handcuffs!

Personality 7: Douse him in Holy Water!

Personality 8: Kill him! Kill him! Take him down at the ankles!

Personality 1: Why do I even ask you guys anything? (Stalks off)

Personality 3: Ack! The leader left! What do we do, whose in charge! (the personalities look at each, panic stricken) Run for your lives! (they all bolt of there)

(Back in the bed room)

"Sage? Are ya ok? Ya're just blinkin'. Are ya even breathin'? Sage?"