You're the Inspiration.
He pushed the door to the apartment open, his arms full of groceries, he had gone out with her list to try and alleviate some of the stress she was under. The board exam was looming over Abby and she was throwing everything that she had into passing this time. 4 years of medical school boiled down to a series of exams that covered everything she had learned. Pressure and she wasn't handling it overly well.
"Still have your nose is a book I see." Carter said setting the bags down on her countertop and starting putting things away for her.
Abby barely glanced up, barely acknowledging that he had come into the apartment. She muttered a response.
He started to put things away, "things going okay, study wise I mean?"
She took a sip from her coffee cup that had been in front of her, she didn't have to know where it was mentally her hand just automatically seemed to know where to go. She took a sip her eyes not leaving the spot on the page where she had been, nothing more than another muttered response.
Carter wasn't sure what else to say to her, she seemed to be on autopilot now with her studying. He got the groceries put away still at a loss of what to say to her, he wanted to do something to help with the stress but communication with Abby right now seemed to be almost nonexistent, well not English that much he knew for sure.
He walked over to where she was sitting, "why don't you let me help you study for a bit." He said as he sat down next to her, "I'm sure I can help you, the boards are not as bad as everyone makes them out to be."
Abby for the first time since he had gotten back looked up from her book, "I don't know Carter," she glanced back down, "I appreciate the fact that you want to help but I don't know if that's going to help."
"It might you never know." Carter said, "you know I did take them, and I did pass them." Okay so maybe he was pointing out the painfully obvious right now. Not that he wanted to but she just seemed so worried that he thought that maybe having someone who had some idea of what they were doing might help her somewhat; she just didn't seem to see it that way.
"Yeah, well I kind of do know what works best for me when it comes to studying, I'd rather just have my coffee and the book right now, I learn better by myself." She said.
"If that's what you want," he said putting his hand onto her, "but know that I am here to help you if you want it."
She just shook her head, "I'm okay. I'm really okay with all of this."
"Abby you are so stressed out you can see it all over your face. You need some help to sort this out and know what's important to know and what you can glaze over. You are a smart, intelligent woman who is going to be a smart, intelligent, wonderful doctor who works for her patients; you go the extra mile to make sure that your patients get the best care that they can." That came across more as a speech than how he wanted it to, but he just needed to know that he was there for her, that he had faith in her, more than faith he knew that she was going to make it.
"That's a sweet thing for you to say John." She was starting to give into him, knowing too that this was something that a little help from your friends never hurt. "Maybe…." Her voice trailed off a little bit now, asking for help was something that she wasn't good at, she was learning though, working to the point where she could ask for help, even if it was for something like this, "maybe you can give me a hand studying." She smiled at him hoping that he realized how hard something as simple as asking for help with studying was for her.
Carter spent the rest of the evening helping Abby to prepare for her boards. She really didn't need that much coaching, and he was fairly certain that she had all the important things memorized. She had been in medicine for so long that he could understand why she had such a hard time switching gears back and forth.
He actually enjoyed seeing how much she had managed to learn and remember over her time as a med student, then nurse and once again medical student, soon to be Doctor Lockhart. Carter found his mind wandering a little as they were reviewing childhood developmental markers. He had done that extra peds rotation with Doug before graduation, where he would have rather spent it in plastics, the time in the ER had just ingrained in him how much he did enjoy the ER and perhaps after all this time that was the reason that he hadn't left it.
As he continued to ask her questions his mind wandered a little bit more, back to the first time they met, then to their first date, and on and on until he was back to the present time, here sitting in her apartment after getting their groceries something that he never thought that he would be doing with anyone, not after everything that he had gone through. Hell especially not after everything that he had put her through.
"Babies first social smile?" He asked.
"6 weeks." Abby replied; with out hesitation upon giving her answer.
"Sits up alone with out support?"
"6 months," another answer that she was fairly confident about.
"Patient comes in presenting with difficulty breathing, diagnosis of Emphysema, what triggers the breathing response in someone suffering from Emphysema?"
Oh she knew this one. She had to think about it for a minute however before she was actually able to answer him, "CO2 levels."
"What happens if you over oxygenate a person suffering from Emphysema?" Carter asked as his mind started wandering again, tonight it wasn't taking much for that to happen.
"They will stop breathing from lack of trigger." She said with a smile on her face even more confident now after answering several questions right. She had her hands folded in front of her waiting for Carter to ask her another one.
There were several minutes of silence between the two of them, Carter seeming to not be with her anymore, granted he was there but he wasn't there.
"Carter," there was no response from him, "Carter."
"Huh?" He said as he snapped from his momentary lapse down memory lane.
"What are you thinking about Carter?" Abby had to ask, "something has you caught deep in though, it's clear to me that you have something on your mind."
"Oh it's nothing." Carter said, "just thinking. Sorry didn't mean to leave you like that."
"It's okay." Abby said with a soft smile. "You know baby you're the inspiration that is going to get me through this. I see what you do every day and that's what I want to do."
"I think that I have heard that before." Carter said with a soft smile on his face. He had to think about it for a minute. "You're the meaning in my life now you know that don't you."
Abby looked at him now with an odd look, "yeah okay I suppose you wanna have me near you, and that you wanna hear me say no one needs you more than I need you."
Carter laughed. "I guess that's a sign that you have been at these books to long for one day."
"Yeah it might be a very good one." She smiled back at him, "either that or it's the Chicago playing in the background."
Carter leaned across the table so that he could softly kiss her cheek, "ah Abby you are all the inspiration I am ever going to need."
Abby smiled at him, and to Carter that smile of her lit up the room like no one else could. He reached across and took her hand into his pulling her from the chair as the song continued to play in the background. She could afford to take a small break from her studies. He wrapped his arms around her waist as they slowly started to move to the faint music that was there.
Holding onto her never felt as good tonight as it had in all the time that they had been together. She truly was an inspiration to them all and he knew in his heart that he was very luck to have her for his girl. He also know that no matter what he was never going to let the love that was between them ever be thrown to the side. From here on out she was it, something that he had come to realize, for him there would never be another Abby.