Title: Glow
Rating: PG-13
Summary: After leaving Paul Levesque at the alter, Stephanie McMahon is determined to stay single. However, Chris Irvine is set on finding her perfect match.
Chapter 2
"I'm going to find you the perfect husband," Chris declared, slamming his hand down on the table and causing everything on the table to rattle noisily.
Stephanie looked up from her breakfast to stare questioningly at her seemingly insane best friend. "What?"
"Remember how we were talking last night and you said you were going to stay single forever?"
"Yeah…"
"Well, when I was going back to my room, I decided that since you were meant to glow and all that, that I, the amazing Chris Irvine, matchmaker extraordinaire, will find the perfect man for you!"
"And what if I don't want you to find me the perfect man?" Stephanie questioned, taking a sip of her black coffee.
Chris shrugged, brushing off Stephanie's point casually. "Minor detail. But don't worry; it's nothing I can't fix."
"What makes you think that there's a perfect man out there for me? Especially when I don't want him?"
"Then I'll make one and you can marry a robot! And he'll look just like me!"
"I'm not even going to bother," Stephanie sighed. "Sit," she commanded, pointing to the empty chair.
Chris pulled out the chair across from the brunette and sat down.
"Order something," she said, waving the waitress over to the table.
"I'll just have that," Chris ordered, pointing at Stephanie's breakfast plate when the waitress arrived.
The waitress smiled at Chris and went to put in his order.
"I hope you don't expect me to listen to you like this all the time."
"Of course not," Stephanie responded.
"Good, 'cause I'm only listening 'cause you're buying me breakfast," Chris smirked.
"Well, it's good to know why we're really friends," Stephanie replied sarcastically.
"Oh, poor Princess," Chris pouted. "So much money with so few friends to spend it on. Guess you'll just have to spoil little ol' me."
"Just what I've always wanted to do!" Stephanie exclaimed.
"Goodie!" Chris cheered in a childish voice. "Now, I want a new car, preferably a BMW, but I'll take a Mercedes if I must, a house in L.A., a shopping spree, and… a pair of red silk pajamas because it feels all cold and nice and slippery on my skin."
"Who do I look like? Santa Clause?"
"Well…"
"Don't answer that," Stephanie snapped. "And I do to have friends!"
"But who's your bestest friend in the whole wide entire world?" Chris questioned.
"Well, I have been talking to Kurt a lot lately…" Stephanie pondered aloud.
Chris stared at her, mouth agape. "That was a low blow!"
Stephanie merely gave Chris quick smirk.
The waitress brought over Chris' food and set it down in front of him. "Would you like anything else?" she asked.
Chris looked her over. "How about your number?"
Blushing, the waitress said with a giggle "Only if you leave me a good tip."
Stephanie shook her head at Chris as he watched her walk away. "You are terrible!"
"What?"
"You're hitting on a hotel waitress, whom you will probably never see again."
"Who said that I'd want to see her again? I'll have my fun and that will be that."
Stephanie raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that's right. You're the 'single type' of person whose life is full of ring rats and one-night stands."
"Now you're getting it!"
"Eat," she ordered him while rolling her eyes.
Chris sat down with a pen and notepad in his hotel room. 'Who's single?' Chris thought to himself, attempting to name every single male friend of his in his head. Halfway through his brainstorming, he realized that most of his friends who were not in the WWE either lived in Canada or Florida, and the WWE was currently in Michigan.
An idea suddenly came to Chris. He picked up his cell phone and went through the list of his co-workers. When he found the name he was searching for, he pushed the green button.
"Hello?" a male voice answered.
"Rob!" Chris greeted. "Hey, Buddy."
"What do you want?" Rob questioned, knowing that Chris would never go through such formalities unless he wanted something.
"I'm fine, and you?"
"Out with it!"
"Oh, that's great," Chris said, continuing the conversation himself. "But no more beating around the bush, you live around here, right?"
"Where's 'here?'"
"Michigan."
"Yeah…"
"Good. So you've got friends, right?"
"Is there a point to this?" Rob asked.
"I was wondering if you have any single friends around here."
"Well, most of the women I know are married," Rob replied. "But I'm sure Sonia-"
"I meant guys. Single guys. You know any?"
There was a pause. "Dude, I didn't know you were…" he trailed off. "I mean it's just that with you having been married, I just figured that… But I'm totally okay if you're into guys!"
"What? You thought that… You think I'm… NO!" Chris exclaimed. "I'm trying to set Stephanie up with someone."
"Oh! That makes a lot more sense. Sorry, Man," Rob laughed.
"Yeah, funny," Chris retorted sarcastically. "So you know anyone that would want to go out with Stephanie?"
"Umm… yeah. My friend Troy. He's single."
"Okay, I'm going to need some background information. Where does this 'Troy' live?"
"Next door to me."
"And how old is this 'Troy' person?"
"Twenty-seven, I think."
Chris nodded as he wrote Rob's answers down. "And would you consider him good looking?"
Rob thought for a moment how to answer Chris' query. "Well, Sonia says he reminds her of Jay, only a little shorter and less tight clothes."
"That's a 'no,'" Chris scribbled.
Rob chuckled knowing that Chris and Jason Reso were good friends. "Any other questions?"
"Yes." Chris continued firing question at Rob that were either vital to the situation or completely random, some of which Rob could not answer. "Well, thank you, Mr. Dam. If you would please contact the potential date and then call me back, that would be appreciated. And please say 'hello' to Mrs. Szatkowsky for me. I look forward to your call," Chris said in a business-like voice.
"Will do."
"Good evening, Sir."
"Later." With that, the two friends hung up.
"Hey, Stephy!" Chris practically shouted as he bounded through the door of Stephanie's hotel suite.
"Hey, Chris," she said with a hint of cautiousness, unsure of why Chris was so enthusiastic. After closing the door, Stephanie began following Chris.
"What would you say if I found you a date already?" Chris asked, suddenly stopping and turning around to face Stephanie.
Due to Chris' abrupt halt, Stephanie nearly walked into Chris. "You got me a date already?"
"Yup," Chris beamed.
"You got me a date when it hasn't even been three weeks since I ran out on my fiancé on our wedding day?"
Chris opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it. "Well, you know, it may seem like it's too soon, but…" Chris searched for the right words, "it's not!"
"I don't know, Chris. I don't think that I'm ready to start dating just yet."
Chris contorted his face. "But I already set it up. And I made dinner reservations for you two at this nice little place, and I'm paying for it, and everything!" he whined.
"Chris," Stephanie sighed, "you can't just plan something like this without asking me first."
"But I told you this morning that I was going to find you a husband."
"And I thought that you meant in like… a few years! Not a few hours!" Stephanie shouted.
"So does that mean you're not going to go?" Chris sulked, throwing himself onto the floor, ready to throw a tantrum.
"I don't know if I can," Stephanie replied, kneeling down. "I mean, I appreciate what you're trying to do, but I just need some time first."
Sighing, Chris said, "Okay. You're lucky your excuse sounded all sensitive and shit, otherwise I'd be screaming like you've never seen."
"Thank you." Stephanie stood up then pulled Chris up off of the floor with her.
"I'll call up Rob's friend and cancel. Besides, now I have some time to bring in some MIT's!" At the look of confusion on Stephanie's face, Chris elaborated. "Matchmakers-in-Training! Duh! Contrary to what you may believe, I don't have friends in every state of this country, so other people's friends will have to do," Chris planned excitedly beginning to walk across the suite again with Stephanie following.
"You're impossible."
"No, you're just pessimistic. But anyways, since I already have a reservation, why don't we go out to dinner then? We can get all dressed up and pretend we're rich and famous celebrities. Oh, wait! We already are!" Chris feigned shock with his eyes bulging and jaw dropping.
"If it'll make you happy."
"Of course it will. What could make me happier than spending a nice quiet evening with my best friend?" Chris questioned, batting his eyelashes.
"A lap dance?" Stephanie guessed.
Chris grinned. "How much do you charge?"
Stephanie glared at her "friend" and grabbed at the nearest item within her arm span.
"I'm just kidding, Stephy!" he laughed as she began chasing him around her spacious suite with a pillow in hand, ready to attack.
"You asshole!" she shouted, pouncing on his back, causing him to face-plant on the carpet. She began whacking him mercilessly with the pillow.
"I was just kidding!" he repeated, covering his head for safety. "Stop or I'm going to have to go all wrestler on you!" he threatened.
Stephanie was too preoccupied with abusing her friend to pay attention to his terrorizations.
"That's it!" Chris declared. He stood up suddenly, planning to throw her off. Instead, Stephanie wrapped one arm around his neck and her legs around his waist so that she was hoisted up with him and her hand with the pillow still free. After slowly making his way to the couch because of Stephanie's chronic blow, Chris stood at one end and flipped Stephanie over his shoulder onto the plush piece of furniture. Jogging to the front of the couch, Chris then did a cross-body slam. Satisfied with the job, he turned to face the front and sat on Stephanie.
"YOU COW! GET THE HELL OFF OF ME!" she demanded, shoving at his back in vain.
"Do I get a lap dance?"
"NO!" Stephanie shouted, adamant about her position.
Chris sighed. "Fine, but then you have to tip at dinner."
"What happened to that waitress?" Stephanie managed to get out while attempting to breathe.
Chris gasped. "I completely forgot about her!"
Stephanie began gasping as well, but for a completely different reason than Chris.
"Maybe I should take her out to dinner instead… I will get more out of it at the end of the night than taking you to dinner," he teased.
"If it means that you'll get off of me, that's fine!" Stephanie agreed hastily.
"But I already said that I'd take you, and that would be rude to cancel on you," Chris debated aloud.
"You're crushing my lungs and you think canceling on me would be rude?"
"Well, yeah. I mean, what kind of friend would I be if I just left you here and took another woman out to dinner after I said that I'd take you?"
"The kind that likes me alive?" Stephanie offered.
Chris ignored Stephanie's comment. "But then I'd probably feel guilty all night anyways, so really there's no point in taking the waitress. Besides, I lost the napkin with her number."
"THEN GET OFF OF ME!"
Chris sighed heavily. "Fine. But only so that you can go and get ready for dinner." He headed toward the door as Stephanie stayed on the couch. "I'll be back," he impersonated "Ah-nold" while staring intensely at Stephanie from the open door. With that, he closed the door and was off to his own room to get ready for their dinner date.
"Finally," Stephanie muttered to herself, "I can breathe."
Author's Note:Ok… I'm on the second Ok… I'm on the second chapter already! Snaps for me (I just rented and watched Legally Blond 2 a couple of days ago, so that would explain the snaps)! Ok, so I hope you all enjoyed it, and for those of you that reviewed the first chapter, please continue to do so. As for those of you who have not reviewed at all, I suggest you do… otherwise I may be forced to come after you! J/P! But please, please, please review my story! Thanks!