Disclaimer: I don't own Zelda or any related characters.

Author's Note: If you find any language mistakes (spelling, grammar,...) then don't hesitate to inform me about them quickly in a rude and/or insulting manner, since my English is not that good and I would greatly like to improve it. However, if you wish to comment things like the content of my stories then keep your critism clinical. Thanks!

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How it came to be no one actually knew. When, where or why is apparently not remembered by anyone. Or is the knowledge just forgotten? The knowledge of this .... this thing some people even tried to deny ... without success. The knowledge of the fact, that Link, Zelda and Ganondorf once ... shared a flat. The knowledge of

"WHERE THE HELL DID YOU PUT THE SOAP??? LINK?? LINK???!!???"

"No, no it clearly was YOUR turn to buy the newspaper today!!"

"ZELDA!!!!!! YOUR STUPID CAT THREW UP ON THE CARPET AGAIN!!!!"

"How am I supposed to know where you've put your friggin shirt??"

"I'm sorry, I'll call you- WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO HAVE A PHONE CONVERSATION HERE!!!"

The Chronicles of Condo

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- Monday, 6 pm –

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!", yelled Zelda and hurled Floobles at Ganondorf who thus decided not to ask Zelda about how her day had been ever again.

- Monday, 1 pm -

Floobles jumped aside, yelped in pain and then hissed at the remote which had just hit her whilst she was doing nothing but trying to nap behind the heater in peace.

"CROCODILE HUNTER!"

"BUFFY!"

"CROCODILE HUNTER!"

"BUFFY!"

"CROCODILE HUNTER!"

"BUFFY!"

"CROCO-"

"VILL YE SHADDUP VOR HEAVENZ ZAKE???", came the aroused voice of their neighbour in 36B, thus somehow managing to stop the quarrel between Link and Zelda momentarily.

They had been sitting on the couch for quite some time now and eventually were able to overcome their common laziness and search for the remote which they – after an exciting treasure hunt – had found under the cat.

Their discovery though had done them no good at all and they were now constantly fighting over what to watch.

But after a 41-minute-screaming-contest and the reproving words of their neighbour they had eventually gotten exhausted and decided to watch a DVD. The problem?

"I told you to buy a new one!!! I told you ages ago!!"

"Then you should have given me the MONEY to buy it, duh!"

"I would have given you the money if there had been any left, DUH!"

"DUH!"

"DUUUUUH!"

"DUH DUH!"

"DUUUUUDE, what's the problem?", said a soap-opera-ish voice on the television screen, giving the author the perfect opportunity to explain the perilous situation of 37B.

The problem was, that a very depressed and therefore very drunken Ganondorf had somehow mistaken the DVD player for a chair. The small electric device, not being constructed to carry the weight of a full-grown, male Gerudo, simply decided to break.

That was approximately five weeks ago and still the three hadn't managed to gather enough money to buy their rent and replace the player at the same time.

Link's and Zelda's Frustration was followed by utter silence which remained unbroken for a very long time. Long time for 37B standards that is.

"Sigh", sighed Zelda.

Link breathed.

Floobles didn't.

.....

Wait, now she did.

A bird chirped, somewhere outside, in front of the window.

'TWACK!!!", went the bird and examined the window closer... too close for its own good.

"Sigh!", sighed Zelda once more.

"So...", started Link, thus breaking the silence and getting Zelda's attention once in his life. "Should we... like ... do something else?"

"Like what?"

"Like, I could stay here and take care of the couch while you... clean the kitchen and prepare a snack for me."

Silence.

TWACK!!!!!

It wasn't a bird this time...

- Monday, 7 pm -

"I'm hungry!", complained Link and looked at the empty plate which had only been placed on the table to make it easier for everyone in 37B to imagine, that they still had some food left.

"No money – no food. It's that simple.", snapped Zelda and proceeded to feed her cat.

"Can't I have what she's having?"

"LINK!!!"

"Boy, you must be really desperate to desire grinded fish bones for lunch."

The latter utterance had been Ganondorf's. By now he had more than fully recovered from the earlier cat fight and was ready to present the results of his workshop to everyone.

"Looky, what I can do!", said the, with the most enthusiastic undertone of evil he could manage. Then he raised his arm up high and muttered a random spell in a random language which sounded something like A springbreak must not feed the wombats tulips!

The result of this, however, was not random, but a clearly nameable disaster;

"MEEEOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!", shrieked Floobles and dashed out of the kitchen ... burning.

"GANONDORF!!!!", shrieked Zelda, her voice being amazingly alike to the one of her tortured cat.

Ganondorf just switched to an innocent whistle and an absent stare at the ceiling, which made Zelda even more furious.

Adding to that Link, who hadn't really noticed the burning pet in the first place but could now clearly smell something that was much alike to the barbecue his father used to organise at parties, had now started to laugh frantically.

"LINK!!!", Zelda called out, feeling desperate and left alone in her mental suffering over the cat's physical suffering.

"I ... I'm sorry Zelda. Say...!"

"Yes?"

"Can I have some fries with the cat?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!", screamed Zelda and stomped off into her room, where Floobles had already set her dress for the next day on fire.

Only two of 37B remained in the kitchen. One rolling on the floor laughing, the other sitting in his favorite chair, pondering over the question whether or not he should open a restaurant which would be the first to serve 'Floobles Flambé'....

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Now there, I did it. Another chapter. You seem to like it apparently and it's not like I have anything better to do...

And I even though about interesting things I could add in further chapters. Then again, it probably won't become that interesting at all, but oh well...

So thanks for your reviews, guys!

(at) thag; Question one and two shall be answered later in the story and as for TMTQFS... it will be readable on my homepage very soon.