Disclaimer : The Earl of the Millenium belongs to the creator of D.Gray-Man.
Why Are You?
Suppose, my dear, that you were unlucky enough to meet the Earl of Millennium on a pale, moonlit night. Suppose that you were also brave enough, or foolish enough (or perhaps a tiny bit of both) not to run away, although surely that would be the wisest thing to do.
The Earl towers high, taller than any man - and indeed, a man he is not. A dark top hat - not quite black, but instead a color hurts the eye if you stare at it too long - sits on his head, and he wears a huge coat with equally huge buttons. The decoration on the brim of his hat is a smiling crescent moon - or perhaps a grinning Cheshire Cat - or maybe a miniature snowman, leaning against a light post. The Earl never wears the same hat twice, although almost nobody but the Earl himself knows this, because almost nobody has ever met the Earl twice. The first meeting is most usually the last.
Perhaps you might ask him a question...
What are you?
The Earl would giggle, like a schoolgirl giggles, but infinitely more disturbing in some way that you can't quite describe, only feel. His wide grin would stretch even wider than before, threatening to split his face in two. Then he would speak, in a voice so incredibly good-natured and jovial that it couldn't be anything but fake.
"Why, I'm the Earl of Millennium, of course!" he would cry, waving his umbrella around like a party stick. Then, having given an answer that isn't really an answer at all, the Earl would offer to bring back your sister, who died a week ago of pneumonia, or your wife, who was murdered by a crazed thief last night. He would present you with a doll shaped curiously like a skeleton-
What's that you say? That's not the answer you were expecting? Well, of course not, silly. You - or rather, the you that I supposed you were - asked the wrong question. The correct thing to ask would be,
Why are you?
The Earl would freeze for the briefest of moments, an instant so short that you would think that perhaps you imagined it. Then he would tilt his head in a manner that casts his face in the shadow of his top hat, allowing you to see his slit eyes behind his normally opaque spectacles. His grin would diminish, somehow, seeming less an expression of happiness and more a meaningless stretching of the lips in a face that has forgotten how to be anything else. And in a voice that is more ancient than time itself, the Earl of the Millennium would tell you why he is.
He would tell you why he decided to rebel, so long ago. Why he decided to turn against the creator of all. Why he created the Akuma. Everything.
Then he would, of course, kill you, for the Earl holds his secrets close to what passes for his heart.
...What?
How do I know all this, you ask? Silly me, I've forgotten that you can't see me clearly on a night like tonight, when the moon hides her face behind the clouds. Here, allow me to turn on the light... Would you be a dear and hold my umbrella for a moment?
Why, yes. It does have a pumpkin on the end. Isn't that most peculiar? Tee hee...
Where is that light switch?
Ah... Here it is.
click
Author's Notes:
Based on a dream I had after reading the first volume of D.Gray-man, which is why some of it makes no sense. For example, why are you? What in the world does that mean?.
If you haven't guessed, the narrator in this story is none other than the Earl of Millennium himself. What he does to the hapless listener - how the hell did he end up in a dark room with the Earl in the first place? - I leave to your imagination.
I'll give you a hint, though. It isn't anything pleasant.