Title: Three blind mice

Note: Okay well no one reviewed the last chapter but I'm still gonna post this new one. I don't know if anyone's reading this but I still feel the need to finish this story. I really need to get it all out of my mind so I can focus on some of the other stories I'm writing. So I thank anyone who might be reading this and I would very much apprecaite if I did get a review (lol). I really don't mind if you flame me. So yeah anyway I still wanted to say that I will post more...

My eyes bolt open. Shock drips from me as I glance around nervously. The deep longing within myself pains me, but the sleep did help a bit. My eyes catch the wall. A light green is reflected in my eyes. Where am I? I look beside me to find... Riley? What's he doing here? "Buffy, you need to get some sleep..." He mumbles as he flips onto his side away from me. I jump out of the bed.

"Just need erm air," I state as I quickly make my way to towards a door.

"Mhhh" I hear behind me. I open the door in front of me to find myself in a dark room. I wave my hands in front of my face hoping that I don't knock into anything and find a cord. I pull it and a bulb lights up. Behind me I hear a grunt. I shut the door, closing off the pesky light from Riley. When I turn back I realize that I'm in a closet. It seems to be Riley's and, mine? I still don't understand. I grab a pair of jeans from a hanger and a cute blue and white, off the shoulder shirt, and pull them on. Then an idea presents itself... like a light bulb really.

Memories of things flow through me. A few questions are answered as I recall late last night- my letter. I told younger Buffy not to go with Angel to say good-bye and she didn't. Then why am I with Riley? The answer shoots past me as the full-length mirror garbs my attention. I look at my neck, only one bite mark is evident. The master's...

I shake my head and look again. Yes the same thing is shown. Angel never bit me? Neither did Dracula? Realization pulses through me followed by answers. Riley never went to the sluty vampire freaks that caused the final breaking of our relationship? Why not? Because Dracula didn't bite me? And he didn't bite me because I never let him? Because Angel never bit me?

I only let Dracula bite me to feel the same sensation as I had with Angel. It hadn't been the same but that really isn't the point. But then why hadn't Angel bitten me? The thought was only waiting for a few moments before I again called up the reason. Faith never hit him with the poison arrow? He never needed the blood of the slayer? Another question was brought-en up by that, why hadn't Faith shot the arrow? It clicked inside; Faith wasn't a slayer, because Kendra didn't die? So Faith hadn't been called. Dru didn't kill her... because Angel hadn't gone evil. Angel and I hadn't slept together here.

Flashback

"What?" I exclaimed looking over at Jenny confused. "How-?

"I know it's a shocker. But what I said was real. You and Angel can't get that 'close'."

I look at her face, really study it but she looks the same as she always does. When did she change?, "Angel's not even back yet..."

"But he will be in less than two weeks, when he gets back you can't be together."

What right does she have? Infuriated I yelled at her, "You can't tell me not to be with him-"

"No I'm not... really," she replied with added guilt. I didn't care what she said; it didn't matter, Angel and I were more than just 'Jenny's choice'. She couldn't tell me what to do. "Buffy listen to me... if and two continue your relationship we all could be doomed. Angelus did some pretty bad things-"

"Angel, "I corrected. "He isn't Angelus."

"But if you two are together he will be," I opened my mouth to yell back but she cut me off, "How would you feel if he killed someone you love, your mom? Your friends? You don't want to believe me but you know I'm telling the truth. Buffy you two need to separate. Get as far from one another as possible. If you don't you really will ruin your life."

"It's not that simple," I stated.

"Yes, yes it is."

"I love him."

"More than everyone else in your life?" Jenny asked, I grimaced and she saw. "I didn't think so. I know you love him, and he loves you but it'll only lead to trouble. Buffy please. For everyone's sake?"

"Fine," I replied broken.

"Thank-you."

I walked out of the library and towards my house. Each step felt heavy but I continued. I doubt I was really Angel's true moment of happiness anyway...

End of flashback

I slumped against the wall. Tears streaming down my face. Pain evident in my eyes. Oh god, everything was so different. My life was so wrong. I looked at the floor as I slowly relaxed down onto it. I breathed in and out quickly. Trying to remember what happened after.

Flashback

"Buffy, I've missed you," I watch his face, bright and shiny. I wish he hadn't left. It took almost a year for him to return. Winter had changed to fall, spring followed after and then summer. It seemed so odd to see him in person. The darkness always the same when I thought of him. Always so dark. Angel crept from my windowsill and to my bed's end. Sitting down he looked right into me.

"Same," I stated. I missed him, his eyes, his kisses, and most importantly him. All of him. I didn't want to hurt him though. Now that he was back I'd have to. I wish I could be with him but that was wrong. Angel hadn't been here to understand. He stayed smiling as I felt tears run down my face.

"Don't cry. Everything's better," He leaned in and gave me a hug. I stopped crying. I couldn't show emotion. Too much emotion.

"I missed you so much. I didn't think you'd-"

"Shh don't worry about that now," He leaned in for a kiss but I pulled back.

"Angel we-I can't."

He pulled back confused. "Wh-"

"So much has changed..."

"It doesn't matter."

"Angel it does... I can't be with you." The words burst through. I couldn't believe I had said them, but I had. Angel looked taken a back.

"What happened?" He asked softly.

I wanted to explain but I couldn't. How would I? I just knew he wouldn't get it. "Nothing... everything."

"Are you involved with someone else?" his question alarmed me.

I shook my head, "How could you think that?" Angel stood up. I watched.

"Well I don't know, I come back and you say we can't be together. All I can think is 'what brought this on'?

"Angel you know that's not it-"

"Then what is Buffy?"

I shook my head as Angel moved to my window. "I need to-"

"Go?" I whispered after him.

Thank-you for reading!