If I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters why do I keep writing about them? That's a good question. Here are some other ones that I felt like playing around with. Guess which movie I finally got to see?
Important Questions of Our Time
"What a nice, peaceful day," Hank sighed as he sipped his coffee in the kitchen. Scott was also in the kitchen eating an apple. "I wonder why we don't have many moments such as this?"
"WRONG! WRONG! WRONG!" Lance could be heard shouting.
"You are the one who is wrong, wrong, wrong!" Todd shouted back. Todd, Lance, Arcade, Fred and Xi walked into the kitchen.
"Some people cannot accept the truth," Xi shook his head.
"My thoughts exactly!" Fred shot back. He opened the refrigerator. "Cool! Pudding!"
"CRAZY! YOU PEOPLE ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!" Arcade shouted.
"Must be the shortest trip on record," Lance rolled his eyes.
"Ask a stupid question…" Scott shook his head.
"Yo, Beast! We need you to help settle an argument here," Todd said. "You're pretty smart so we figured that out of everyone you would be able to settle this for us."
"Well young Mr. Tolensky I am flattered," Hank beamed. "Of course I will assist you if I can."
"Careful Beast," Scott warned. "It's a trap."
"Scott," Hank looked at him.
"I'm just saying…" Scott threw up his hands.
"Ignore him," Hank said to the boys. "Proceed with your question."
"Okay," Todd nodded. "Do you think C-3PO is Luke Skywalker's brother?"
"Come again?" Hank blinked.
"See here's what we think," Todd explained. "You know in the new Star Wars movies we learn that Anakin Skywalker made Threepio before he became Darth Vader? So that means…"
"He's not his brother!" Lance shouted.
"Perhaps not his flesh and blood brother but they still both had the same maker if you think about it," Xi remarked.
"Dude, that would make Leia C-3PO's sister," Arcade told him. "And we all know he had a crush on her. That would make it incest man."
"He did not have a crush on Leia," Lance turned on Arcade. "He's a robot! A gay robot on top of it."
"C-3PO is not gay!" Todd shouted.
"Well if he isn't he's doing a great imitation," Lance remarked. "I think he and R2D2 are sharing a few circuit boards and wall sockets if you get my drift."
"That is the Bert and Ernie debate all over again!" Arcade said. "It's completely ridiculous!"
"I'll say," Fred nodded. "Comparing Muppets to Robots. That's just stupid."
"Not the only thing that's stupid around here," Scott was trying to hold in a snicker.
"He's right," Xi said. "C-3PO's sexuality is irrelevant. The argument is whether or not C-3PO is a member of the Skywalker family. I believe he is."
"He's a robot! He's not family!" Lance snapped. "That's like calling the toaster your brother in law! It just doesn't happen! Tell 'em Beast!"
"To be honest young Avalanche," Beast blinked. "I really don't know what to say. Or think for that matter."
"I think Jar Jar Binks wouldn't have been half as annoying if they'd given him a Boston accent," Arcade said. "Or a New York one."
"At least he didn't speak in this movie," Lance said. "Gee I wonder why?"
"What I have been pondering is why they chose an actor that's only 5 foot 8 to play Anakin Skywalker when in the old movie Darth Vader was well over 6 feet tall," Hank scratched his head.
"Oh they explained it in the movie," Todd said. "I don't wanna spoil it for ya but let's just say it involves Obi Wan Kenobi and a volcano."
"A volcano planet," Arcade pointed out. "There's a difference."
"Technically every planet is a volcano planet," Lance told him. "Well except the ones made out of gas."
"What do you mean?" Xi asked.
"There's all that magma underneath the surface of the Earth's crust," Lance told him. "It's everywhere."
"What about the spots where there's oil?" Todd asked. "Wouldn't they catch on fire?"
"If they did catch on fire all at the same time would the Earth explode?" Xi asked.
"That is an interesting question…" Hank thought.
"Planet Earth to Mr. McCoy!" Scott shouted, waving his hand in front of Hank's face. "Come in Mr. McCoy! Snap out of it!"
"What are all of you yelling about?" Roadblock asked as he walked in with Xavier.
"I can honestly say I have no idea…" Hank groaned.
"Star Wars," Xi told him. "We were arguing about Star Wars."
"Thank you for reminding me Xi," Hank sighed.
"No problem," Xi said cheerfully as he grabbed some cookies.
"I take it you all saw Revenge of the Sith the other night?" Xavier asked Roadblock.
"Well there's a dumb question," Todd folded his arms.
"Sometimes if there weren't any dumb questions, there would be no conversation at all," Hank pointed out. "Maybe that's not such a bad thing."
"Here's another one," Arcade thought. "Who was the best character in the whole Star Wars series? Personally I think its R2-D2."
"Are you nuts?" Lance looked at him. "Oh wait we already discussed that question."
"Yeah it's pretty obvious who the best character is," Fred scoffed.
"Han Solo," Lance said.
"Darth Vader," Fred said at the same time.
"What?" They both looked at each other.
"Give me a break! Han Solo isn't even in the prequel series!" Fred groaned.
"He doesn't have to be!" Lance snapped. "He's flies the Millenium Falcon for crying out loud and he lands the princess!"
"Oh yeah there's important criteria yo," Todd shook his head. "It's Luke Skywalker hands down. With Princess Leia as a close second. I mean she was real hot in that metal bikini."
"The boy has a point," Hank said. "But I feel the character of Chewbacca has been severely understated."
"As was the role of Lando Calrissan," Roadblock offered.
"I liked the Ewoks," Xi thought. "They're like portable Wookies."
"The Ewoks? You gotta be kidding me! Oh man that's crazy!" The Misfits all shouted at the same time.
"People please! This sort of bickering is pointless," Xavier told them.
"Listen to the Professor," Scott said. "He's right."
"Besides you're all completely off the mark," Xavier added. "It's Yoda."
"Hey, that's a good one!" Todd nodded.
"What?" Scott gasped.
"I went to the premiere of the first and second movie," Xavier shrugged. "What can I say? I got hooked."
"Now I know how Luke Skywalker felt when he found out Darth Vader was his father," Scott winced. "Great! You've all got me doing it! I gotta get out of here!" He left the kitchen and went outside.
Jean was out by the pool. "Scott what's wrong?"
"Bad news Jean," Scott told her. "The Misfits have claimed Beast's brain, and the Professor is next on the list."
"What?"
"Do you know the Professor is a Star Wars fan? Right now he and the Misfits are debating on who is the greatest character in the series?" Scott asked.
"Princess Leia," Jean said automatically. "The Professor and I have a lot of interesting telepathic chats."
"Remind me to never ask what you guys talk about in the future," Scott groaned.
"Well compared to what these two have been arguing about for the past hour, Star Wars characters are a step up," Jean rolled her eyes and pointed to Pietro and Wanda in the back yard. Both of them were arguing vehemently.
"Nobody invented the lawn! It was just there!" Wanda snapped.
"It wasn't all just there," Pietro said. "Somebody had to come up with the idea to cut the grass."
"Yeah, they were called cows and sheep!" Wanda told him. "They ate all the grass in the old days so nobody bothered to cut it."
"And apparently that's where they got fertilizer too," Pietro mocked.
"You're the one who's full of fertilizer!" Wanda powered up.
"Can't catch me!" Pietro made a face. Wanda started to hex the patio furniture and chased Pietro around with it. "Can't catch me! I'm right! You're wrong and you know it!"
"I know you're gonna be dead if you don't shut up!" Wanda screamed.
"I'm going back inside and listen to the Star Wars conversation now," Scott did an about face.
"Yeah that's a lot saner than this!" Jean agreed, following him.
"Furthermore it can be argued that C-3P0 is Han Solo's brother in law," Xavier said as soon as the two of them walked in.
"Finally! Someone with common sense around here!" Todd raised his hands.
"We're too late," Scott groaned. "He's gone."
"That's not the only thing that's gone," Jean looked out the window. "Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch are tearing apart what they're arguing about. Great. Just what we need. Another fire."
"Here's a question I wish somebody would answer," Scott sighed. "Why do we allow the Misfits to come here?"