Wow! I haven't updated this story in… months! About 3 months to be exact. I give my sincere apologies. I hope you still want to read it now! Even if you didn't read it back when I posted the first 2 chapters, I hope you like this new one!

Disclaimer: It's not mine… I just write awesome stories about it.

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"Does it still hurt much?"

"No, not too badly."

Beast Boy grimaced at the growing pain in his arm. Raven's numbing affect was wearing off and he was being confronted with a full frontal assault of pain. He wasn't about to let her know that, though.

"It feels almost as good as it did two days ago."

Raven smiled slyly. "That's good to hear." Her short hair blew gently behind her as they walked along the beach. They had both taken their shoes off and were now walking through the gentle waves that met with the tower's shore. They had already walked around the island a few times, but they kept going. The edge of her cape was wet from the ocean water, but she made no attempt to pull it out of the water's reach.

Beast Boy watched Raven's feet as they gently moved over the sand and through the water. She seemed so delicate, but during a battle she could be so hard and fierce.

'She's so beautiful, yet so strong,' Beast Boy thought as he watched her feet. 'She's just amazing.'

"You're amazing, Raven."

"What? What do you mean?" Raven looked at him, startled.

"Uh… I mean, it's amazing how you fixed my arm! It's totally better now."

"Oh." Raven smiled. "You know I'd do anything to help you." She turned her head and looked out at the sunset reflecting off of the water.

Beast Boy could feel a deep anguish inside of him, one that he had felt for a long time. It was about two years ago that Beast Boy realized just how much Raven actually meant to him, as a friend… and maybe something more. What made him upset, though, was the thought that he could not have her… should not have her.

'Oh, I so wish I could have her, I wish I could tell her how I feel about her. I want her to be my girlfriend. But she needs someone better, someone stronger than me. I'm just not good enough for her. She deserves someone like… Robin.'

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Are you desperate to find something more
Before your life is over?
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Beast Boy could feel tears forming in the corners of his eyes. He held them in, but his lip quivered.

"Beast Boy, what's the matter?" Raven reached out and took a gentle hold on his arm. Beast Boy shivered at her touch. She sent a warmth through his body which quickly wiped out the coldness he had been feeling in his heart. But then he looked up into her caring eyes, and that coldness consumed him once again, stronger than before.

"Beast Boy?" She asked again when she received no response.

"Nothing… I'm fine," he said as he moved away from her touch. Raven frowned and looked a little hurt, but she didn't say anything.

After a few minutes of walking in silence, Beast Boy spoke. "What happened to that girl, Sarah, and her boyfriend? Are they all right?"

"Yeah, we took them both to the hospital and they seemed to be recovering pretty well. It turns out that this isn't the first time they've been associated with Odium." Raven had a troubled look on her face. "Odium was Sarah's… boyfriend…"

"That guy had a girlfriend!" Beast Boy interrupted with a look of disgust on his face. He could not believe that.

"Yeah… but that was back before he got his, uh, powers."

"Pfff, right. He'd never have a girlfriend when he has those powers."

"Uh, right. Well it turns out that she dumped him for Mike, that's the blond man whom had tried to stop Odium from taking her. As you can imagine, Odium was pretty furious at the idea that his girlfriend would dump him for someone who was nowhere near his equal in the, uh, strength category. That's when he went out and somehow obtained those powers, powers that would let him get his girlfriend back, as well as any other girl whom he would wish be his."

"That's horrible!" Beast Boy felt disgusted. "His girlfriend dumps him so he goes totally bonkers!" Beast Boy immediately felt a shock as he realized that he had a slight understanding for Odium. 'If Raven was my girlfriend, and she dumped me, I think I'd go crazy, too. Wait, what am I thinking? Raven my girlfriend… yeah right. Oh man, I am going crazy!'

Raven looked at Beast Boy. "Yeah, you're right. Now we need to figure out who gave him the abilities which he now has. We put him in jail, but I don't know how long he'll be staying in there. They're supposed to be transferring him to a more intense facility sometime soon. We told the police that he needs to be kept away from any woman guards whom they may have working there, but I don't know how that's going to work out."

"Raven…" Beast Boy looked at her with pitiful eyes. "I'm not feeling too well… can we please go back to the tower?"

"Yeah, of course, Beast Boy." Raven looked at him with concern. "Do you need my help?" She offered him a hand.

"No, I can make it by myself."

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Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
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Beast Boy sat on the couch in the main room of the tower with his head in his hands. His body was still hurting all over, but now his mind was also beginning to cause him pain. Well, worse pain than it had caused him before. Raven had gone to make him a cup of her special tea a few minutes ago when she had seen how sick he was looking. Cyborg had brought some of his weights into the room so he could workout but still spend time with the rest of the Titans. Robin and Starfire had just walked in, both laughing and smiling at one another.

Beast Boy sighed at the sight of them. Starfire walked into the kitchen and Robin walked towards the couch. Beast Boy got up walked over to the huge window in the front of the tower. He slowly opened it. A cool breeze blew in against his face and the stars sparkled brightly in the sky, but the air didn't seem to be helping him at all.

Beast Boy sighed deeply, again, and walked back to the couch… to find Robin lying where he had previously been sitting!

"Hey, Robin! I was sitting there!" Beast Boy's voice contained a hint of anger and annoyance.

"Well, yeah…" Robin said lying on his side, the remote in one hand, "I worked really hard in training today and in that battle yesterday. I'm really tired, don't make me move. Can't you just sit on the other side of the couch?"

"You're tired? Who went through an intense healing last night! I think I deserve relaxation more than you do!" Beast Boy was determined to win his argument. He had lost too many before. He needed to win this one.

"Well, it's not my fault you weren't there training along with me today… or battling yesterday," Robin said, half preoccupied by the TV. Beast Boy could tell that Robin wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, but it still hurt him.

"So it's my fault that Odium punched me?"

"You could have dodged it."

"How do you dodge THAT?" Beast Boy shot his fist right into Robin's face, stopping just an inch from impact, imitating Odium's punch. Robin jumped in surprise.

"Hey, watch it!" Robin sat up angrily, pushing Beast Boy's fist away from his face. "Well, maybe if you trained more you'd be able to transform quicker into another animal that would allow you to dodge the punch."

"Hey! I wanted to train with you guys yesterday, don't you remember!" Beast Boy was becoming very angry. "You told me to go away!"

"I did not!" Robin was getting more upset than angry. His eyes looked at Beast Boy with concern, as if he had not meant to hurt him. Beast Boy could tell that Robin really didn't mean what he had said before, but he was already too angry to just stop the argument.

"You did too! You said you were training two-on-two and that I couldn't join in!" Beast Boy growled at Robin. His eyes narrowed in anger.

"What? Oh yeah…" Robin looked very upset. "Well, it was just that you had trained with us every day, and that day you weren't there when we started, so we decided to do something different. We can't train two-on-two when everyone is there."

"Well, you have no right to say that I shouldn't be tired because I didn't train if the reason I didn't train was because you wouldn't let me!"

"You could have always trained by yourself." Robin looked at Beast Boy inquisitively.

"That's not the point! You left me out! I'm always left out! No one here cares about me! No one ever gives me a chance!"

By this point, Beast Boy had made enough noise to attract the rest of the Titans' full attention. The three of them – Starfire, Cyborg, and Raven – had left what they were doing to witness the battle between Beast Boy and Robin. They stood off to the side, watching with worried eyes.

"What do you mean?" Robin stood up and looked down at Beast Boy, a bit of annoyance re-entering his face.

"When I transformed into that beast you didn't even give me a chance!" Beast Boy shouted, hatred spewing from his lips. "You didn't doubt for a moment that I was doing it on my own freewill! Not even once did it occur to you that something else was causing me to act that way! When you were seeing Slade everywhere, we didn't doubt you completely that you were going crazy!"

"Beast Boy, it was different with you. We thought you had hurt Raven."

"I would never hurt Raven!" Beast Boy's voice was so loud that the other Titans stared at him in shock. He had never been so loud before. "If it had been Starfire transforming into that monster instead of me, I'm sure that you would have hesitated before deciding her fate, her death!"

Starfire gasped. "Beast Boy! That is not true!" She said indignantly.

"Oh, but it is! It is true! Everyone here gets more chances than me. Everyone here has someone on this team who cares more about them than me. No one cared how it would affect me when you all condemned my girlfriend. No one thought how I was feeling when Terra had betrayed us. Yes, you all felt hurt and deceived, but think how I was feeling. Think how much that must have hurt me!"

Beast Boy was literally shaking in anger. "The person whom I had cared about the most, the one person whom I opened up my heart to turned out to not feel the same intensity towards me that I felt towards her. I wasted myself, my heart… and I will not do that again to myself."

"It's not our fault that she was working with Slade and that she did that to us, all of us!" Robin was now angry, too, but his anger was more in a defense to Beast Boy's attacks.

Beast Boy yelled out in fury. "I'm so sick of this! I'm sick of this tower, this so-called 'home', and I'm sick of all of you."

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With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
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"No, Beast Boy! We all love you, we all need you!" Raven was desperate now. She wanted this argument to end. She thought it was hurting Beast Boy's healing. He did seem to be getting sicker with every word. "Isn't that right, Cyborg!"

"Yeah, BB, we need you on this team! Without you, we'd be missing a major part of all of our battle plans. You always help us to win!" He smiled at Beast Boy, thinking that what he had said would change the boy's mind.

"That's not true!" Beast Boy looked straight at Cyborg. The smile was quickly erased from Cyborg's face. "You don't need me. You didn't need me during the last battle. I was gone just moments after it began, and from what I heard…" Beast Boy glanced at Raven, "Robin was able to handle the whole thing all by himself. He didn't seem to need his team very much then."

Robin looked embarrassed. He looked around at his teammates whom returned his stare, and then he turned his eyes to the floor. "That's not true…" His voice was soft. "I do need you all… very much."

"We know you do, Robin." Starfire went to his side and hugged Robin tightly. "We all know you do."

Beast Boy looked at the way Starfire lovingly hugged Robin and he felt sick inside. He wanted Raven to feel the same way about him that Starfire felt for Robin. He wanted her to love him like he loved her… but he knew that he would never have that. It would just somehow turn out like it did with Terra. Somehow she would hurt him. Or worse… somehow he would hurt her.

"I have to go." Beast Boy's eyes were beginning to water and he had to turn his gaze away from his two teammates.

"Beast Boy, no!" Raven ran to Beast Boy. To his surprise, it was much like Starfire had run to Robin. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked him right in the eyes. "We can all work all this out… trust me." They stared into each other's eyes for a few seconds and then Beast Boy turned away.

"No, Raven… I have to go!" Beast Boy flung himself from her hands, and began to run towards the open window. He felt a single tear run down his cheek. 'Look at me! I'm crying! I'm not strong enough for her… I'm so weak.'

"Beast Boy!" Raven had caught up with him and grabbed his shoulder, spinning him around to face her. "Where are you going?" She looked at him with a mixture of anger and concern.

"Where am I going? Where am I going? Beast Boy looked Raven in the eyes so she could see his wet tears. "I'm going away from you!"

"What!" Raven looked at him in shock. Her arm went limp and left Beast Boy's shoulders. A look of pain overwhelmed her face. "What did I do? What did I do to you! What did I ever do to you!"

"Raven…" Beast Boy lost the little control he had had of his emotions. Raven was controlling herself better than him, even though almost every dish in the kitchen had blown into a million pieces. "That's not what I meant. It's not you."

"What?" Raven had tears at the corners of her own eyes now. She was confused and upset; she didn't understand what Beast Boy was talking about.

"It's me. I'm not strong enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not caring enough. I'm not serious enough. I'm not handsome enough… I am green, you know. I'm not helpful enough. I'm not reliable enough. I'm just not good enough for this team." He took a deep breath and looked Raven directly in the eyes. "And I'm not good enough for you."

Raven took in a quick breath and slowly let it out. "Beast Boy…"

"I have to go…" He turned and ran from her, straight for the window. He spread out his arms and leapt from the building, still in his human form. He then transformed into a green raven after he had fallen several feet. He flew back up, up into the night sky.

"BEAST BOY! Come back!" Raven fell to her knees, the tears now flowing from the corners of her eyes. She was in too much shock to do anything other than yell those words.

Beast Boy heard her plead, but he just flew higher over the roaring waves below him. He cawed out in anguish one last time before he disappeared from sight.

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No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels alright
You don't know what it's like
To be like me
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Wow… I don't know where that chapter came from! I feel like crying now that I re-read it! It's so sad! I am sorry if I cause anyone any sadness that they did not wish to have before reading this story.

I hope you all thought that was a good chapter. It's spring break for me right now, so I'll be able to finish the story pretty quickly. I am pretty busy for the rest of the week, but I'll find time to finish this. It just needs to be finished, right?

Thanks to all my reviewers! I would answer your reviews from the last chapter, but it's like 10:00pm. I started writing this chapter at like… 8:30. So as you can imagine, I'm pretty tired.

My Advice For Today…

If you are writing a very good story and are posting it on the internet where you have people whom are reading the updates on a regular basis, do NOT stop writing the story for months. It will make some people very mad. Mad at you. Then you will either have to update again later, or go into hiding. And believe me, it's quite a hard choice.

Please Review! I live for reviews! Come on... make my day!

Later foos.

Always

3/22/05