Chapter Eight
--
Hunter watched Dustin as they sat on his couch watching TV later that night. Neither of them was really interested in the movie, but they were attempting to get their minds off things. They had been watching for hours now, but neither had said much since they got there.
Dustin was staring at the TV, his eyes still a little red and his jaw set. Hunter began to say something but had no idea where to start. There was really nothing to say. So he reached over and put his hand on Dustin's arm, squeezing it gently.
Dustin looked over at him, giving him a smile. "Don't worry," he said.
"Can't help it," Hunter admitted. "I just want you to be okay."
"I know," he said. He paused, then slid closer to Hunter, brushing his leg with his own. Hunter tensed just a little. "What's the matter?" he asked.
Hunter raised an eyebrow. "Don't even start."
Dustin smirked, then put a hand on Hunter's leg hesitantly. Hunter looked at him quietly, and Dustin leaned his head against the back of the couch. "Damn, I'm tired."
"Not surprising," Hunter said. "Why don't you go to sleep? I don't mind, and you could probably use it."
He shook his head. "Nah, I'll be fine."
"It's been a rough week," Hunter pointed out, a bit concerned. "Go on, I really don't mind."
Dustin looked at him. "No, I want to stay here. Take all the time I can get."
Hunter looked away as a pang of sadness and something like guilt went through him, thinking about his departure the next day. He wasn't going too far away, but it would be a change, a hard one right now. "I wish I didn't have to leave you now," he said quietly.
"I know," Dustin said. "I didn't mean it that way. It's not like I expect you to stay here and put your life on hold."
"It wouldn't be like that," Hunter said truthfully. If he could only stay for a while, until things got a little better for him . . . But he couldn't. He was already scheduled at the Academy, and it wasn't like there was a real emergency. He couldn't back out. He just hoped everything would go okay after he left.
Dustin looked at him, seeming to read his mind. "Man, I don't want you to stay, okay?" He smirked. "It's not like you're leaving forever, you'll be around."
Hunter smiled at the quote from their conversation a week ago. "Yeah." It might be easier if Dustin wasn't being so damn supportive. "What are you going to do here?"
He shrugged, looking away. "I'm not taking Sensei's offer, that's for sure."
"What offer?" Hunter asked. Dustin hadn't mentioned anything to him, though he knew Shane and Tori had been offered teaching positions.
"Sensei offered me a place at the Academy," Dustin explained. "Teaching. But it doesn't really matter, I can't do it."
"If it's because of the other, I really think you should think about it," Hunter said.
Dustin shook his head. "Look, I know it sounds like I'm scared to face them or something, but really it's not that. I mean, I'd really rather never see them again, but that's not why. Really, how could we work together? It'd be impossible, for all of us. And what about the students?"
"It shouldn't be you that has to give it up," Hunter said, getting defensive quickly of the younger boy. "Why should they get the chance and you have to be the one to sacrifice?"
"I don't know," Dustin said. "Maybe cause they got to it first. It's no big deal, okay? I'll figure out something to do with myself, trust me."
"You can't let this run your life," Hunter said seriously. "Don't give up because of them."
"I'm not giving up on anything," Dustin snapped. He sighed. "Dude, can you really see me as a teacher, anyway? It's not really my thing."
Hunter nodded, though he wasn't at all convinced. "I just want you to be sure of what you're doing. Or not doing."
"Thanks, but I don't really need you looking after me," Dustin said. Hunter was silent, and then Dustin smiled a little. "It wouldn't be right for me anyway, you know that."
He shook his head, seeing through Dustin's façade easily. "You underestimate yourself."
Dustin paused. "Maybe," he admitted. "I don't know." He sighed deeply. "I'll figure it out. You just focus on what you have to do, I'll be fine."
"At least think it over again," Hunter pressed.
Dustin rolled his eyes. "If it makes you feel better, I will. Okay?" He leaned over and kissed Hunter's lips gently, smiling as he pulled away. "Thanks, really. You don't have to look out for me but . . . I'm glad you do anyway."
Hunter looked at him quietly, trying to read his expression. But he couldn't. "I don't mean to be protective or overbearing or anything. I just, well, I can't help but want you to be happy, right?"
Dustin nodded. "I said thanks, Hunter. I don't mind, really. Actually, it's kinda cool for once."
He frowned, but didn't question him. Instead he put an arm around Dustin's shoulders, pulling him closer. He searched for the right words but he couldn't find any to say what he wanted.
Dustin looked up at him. "You don't have to say anything," he said. "I know neither of us really knows what's going on anymore, let alone what to say about it."
"How do you always know what I'm thinking?" Hunter asked, amused.
He shrugged. "I don't, always." He smiled. "I mean it, don't worry about it."
Hunter nodded. "I just . . . I want you to know that I'm here, okay? That's all."
"That's a lot," Dustin said quietly. He laughed a little, looking away. "You know, we'd better stop or we'll make real asses of ourselves. I've never been this . . . you know."
"Me neither," said Hunter, knowing what he meant. Neither of them had ever said things like they were now. Dustin was always too carefree and happy to really care to let himself say what he really felt. And Hunter himself . . . he had never been able to open up, to anyone. Even now, it was hard. As much as he cared for Dustin, he could hardly explain it. But he tried to make himself. It had to be said.
Dustin sat up. "Let's get off the conversation. It's kinda depressing, and we don't have much time." His eyes twinkled a little. "I have some other things in mind."
"Yeah?" Hunter asked, starting to smile a little but not sure enough to know.
Dustin pressed his lips to Hunter's again in answer, this time stronger, and he returned it immediately, opening his mouth and feeling Dustin do the same. Hunter leaned forward, pulling Dustin closer as the kiss deepened.
They parted slowly and Hunter leaned back, watching Dustin, suddenly not feeling at all uncomfortable being with him. Through all that had happened, he'd almost forgotten what he'd gotten from it. He couldn't let himself do that again, Dustin was too important. It would all be worth it, whatever happened, if he could just keep him and what they had.
Dustin shifted positions and faced Hunter on the couch, waiting a moment, as if unsure of what to do. It crossed Hunter's mind to ask him if he'd ever been in a relationship like this, with a guy, but he decided it wasn't the time. "You okay?" he asked, wondering at the look Dustin had.
He nodded. "Yeah. It's just . . . different. I mean, I'm not sure—"
"What to do?" Hunter asked, slightly amused.
"How much to do," Dustin amended. He looked into Hunter's eyes.
Hunter took the initiative and grabbed Dustin's shoulders, claiming his mouth again and moving an arm around Dustin's back. Dustin hesitated but lost his nerves quickly as they continued. He swung a leg over Hunter's and placed both hand on the couch behind him, opening his mouth further, gasping for breath but not parting for air. They deepened the kiss and explored each other, mindless of all else.
He moved a hand to the back of Dustin's jeans and grabbed him, pulling him closer as Dustin's arms went around his neck. Hunter finally pulled back, gasping as he broke the kiss. He panted heavily, his face only inches from Dustin's, feeling himself responding to the contact their bodies made.
Dustin smiled, leaning forward and nipping at Hunter's ear playfully, then went down to his neck, kissing and sucking gently. Hunter caught his breath and let it out shakily, everything else gone from his mind. None of it mattered anymore.
Dustin's hands went to Hunter's shoulders and rubbed them gently, traveling down his chest. He placed his lips to Hunter's again and they remained there for a long time, breaking only for air. Hunter ran his hands under Dustin's shirt, feeling his bare skin and wondering if he could take much more without any more.
Then he heard the door.
He started and Dustin jumped up, quickly standing. Hunter looked up to see his brother in the doorway, blushing a little, but a smile on his face. Blake cleared his throat. "Uh, sorry guys. I guess I should have knocked."
Hunter felt himself turning fittingly crimson and looked at Dustin, who just smiled sheepishly. "Uh, that's okay," Hunter said to his brother. "We should have . . . warned you."
Blake smirked a little. "I'll leave you two alone then."
Hunter just nodded but Dustin smiled, nodding. "That'd be nice,"
He turned quickly and left the house, shutting the door behind him. Hunter looked up at Dustin. "Sorry about that."
"No prob," Dustin said easily. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Whoa."
"Yeah," Hunter agreed. The mood had been interrupted, but in no way ended, not for him. He stared at Dustin for a moment. "You gonna get over here?"
Dustin grinned and came forward, leaning in and barely touching his lips to Hunter's. Hunter took him by the shoulders and threw him down on the couch, leaning over him and covering his mouth with a deep kiss.
--
Blake left the house quickly, shaking his head and laughing a little at himself. How many little brothers were put in that position? He might not mind what Hunter and Dustin were doing, but that didn't mean he wanted to see it.
He continued walking down the street, not sure of where he was going. It was late, but he found himself thinking about Tori. He should talk to her, he'd be gone in two days for who knew how long, he should get things straightened out. If he couldn't make up with her, he could at least tell her where he stood. But he really wasn't looking forward to it.
He made his way to Tori's place, knowing she'd be home. She never went to bed early, and was rarely out at night. He hadn't even seen her in a few days, and they hadn't said much then, he had no idea how she might act tonight.
Blake arrived at her house and knocked on the door lightly, waiting for a reply. The door opened after a few moments and Tori appeared, looking surprised. "Oh, hey Blake." She glanced around nervously. "Um, what's going on?"
He paused. "I just think we should talk," he said. "I'm leaving soon, and I, don't want any questions between us."
She nodded. "Come on in." She stepped aside and he walked past her into the house. Tori shut the door and rubbed her hands together uncomfortably. "You wanna sit down?"
He nodded. "Yeah, sure." They went into the living room and he sat down on the couch quietly, watching her as she sat in a chair across from him. How was he ever going to do this?
Tori looked at him. "So I guess Dustin told you about our conversation?"
Blake frowned. "What?"
She paused. "I guess not then." She took a breath, probably wondering if he'd drop it, but deciding to just tell him. "We talked today, finally."
Talked? Great. "What happened?" he asked anxiously.
She shook her head. "Not much." She paused, then looked at him. "I'm so sorry, Blake."
He nodded slowly, a heavy feeling in his heart. "Tori, can't you . . . I don't know, try?"
She sighed. "I already went over this with Dustin, and Cam too. No one believes me when I say I did try to get past this. I just can't do it."
Blake looked at her carefully. "Okay then," he whispered.
She looked at him, her eyes moistening slightly. "Okay what?"
He reached out his hands, taking hers gently. "It's over."
"What?" she asked, disbelief in her voice. "Just like that, it's over?"
He nodded. "And I'm sorry too, really." He felt tears come to his eyes and blinked them away. This was so hard. "But, my brother means more to me than anything, Tori. Nothing can change that."
"I wouldn't want to," she said. "I just thought . . ." she took a shaky breath. "I thought we could try."
Blake stood, still holding her hands. "You have no idea how hard this is, really." He paused. "I love you, Tori," he said, seeing her eyes widen as he said it for the first time. "I don't want to lose you."
"You don't have to," she said quickly. "Just give us a try, Blake. I know we can do this."
He shook his head slowly. "No. I can't have you on one side of me and Hunter and Dustin on the other. It's just impossible."
She looked at him quietly for a moment. "I don't know what you want me to do."
He paused, then squeezed her hands. "I just want you to understand, try to accept this. They're still the same people we fought beside all those months, they haven't changed any. If you'd just look past all this you'd realize that."
Tori paused, closing her eyes. "It isn't that easy. I tried, I swear." She opened her eyes, looking into his. "But, I'll try again, if you'll give me the chance."
"Will you really?" he asked doubtfully. "Or will you just pretend to, to keep this going?"
"Look, I don't want to end my friendships with them," she said. "I really don't. But I tried, I really convinced myself this would all be okay. But then I went to talk to him, and it was different." She sighed. "You just don't understand."
"No," he admitted. "I don't. But I am willing to give us a real try, as long as you're willing to do the same. Just try. I know me and Hunter won't be around much now, but Dustin will be. He means a lot to me too, as my friend and as my brother's boyfriend. And he's gonna need some friends."
Tori paused, but nodded. "Yeah, I know."
He dropped her hands finally, looking at her seriously. "I'm not going to play around. I can't be with you if you can't accept them. I want you to understand that. And it's not going to be easy, being apart so much on top of this. But I'll do my best to keep this strong."
Tori nodded. "I will too."
"Really?" he pressed, still doubtful but unable to keep himself from really hoping.
"I promise," she said.
He smiled a little, leaning over and kissing her gently on the lips. "I guess I should go."
"Where to?" she asked.
"I don't know." He laughed a little. He wouldn't push things and tell her why he was out of the house in the first place.
"You could hang out here for a while," she said, hope in her voice. "Things were so weird this week we hardly saw each other."
"I know," he said. "I guess I could stay here for a little. But I can't say things aren't still weird."
"Yeah," she agreed. "Let's just try and get through this, okay? We don't have long."
He nodded, pushing aside the doubts that remained. Maybe she just needed more time, he could give her that. He sat back down on the couch and Tori sat beside him, reaching for his hand. He held it out and grasped hers tightly, smiling down at her. "I love you, Tori," he said again. "Whatever becomes of us, that won't change."
Tori smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder. "I love you too."
--
Shane sat at his kitchen table quietly, thinking about the day ahead of him. Hunter was headed off to the Thunder Ninja Academy, he'd be leaving that afternoon. So much had changed since he'd accepted that position. Too much.
He and Hunter had been through their share of troubles, that was for sure. But after a while, he had become a trusted friend. Now all that was changed. Hunter had lied to him since they met, how could he trust him now? And Dustin . . . He'd known him for longer, studied and worked with him. But they kept it all from him, for whatever reason, and he couldn't stand it. If only he'd known before . . .
He stopped himself, standing up quickly and shaking his head. How could a thought like that even cross his mind? He went to the counter, pushing the concept from his mind. It didn't matter that he hadn't known before, there was nothing he could do differently, or wanted to.
He had to admit, it would be a relief when Hunter and Blake left. Everything had been so tense lately. He hadn't spoken to any of them since last week, even Tori hadn't been around. Nobody really knew what to say anyway.
Shane sighed. He didn't even want to think about them anymore, he wished they would just leave and he could pretend nothing had changed. Though that was next to impossible. He'd never forget walking in and seeing that . . .
But why did it bother him so much? He never thought badly about gays before, it was never a big deal. But seeing two of his friends like that, it was just gross. It would have been bad enough with anyone else, but each other? He shook his head. It was too wrong, why couldn't they be normal like most people?
He briefly thought about seeing Hunter off that afternoon, but banished the thought as soon as it came. He couldn't do that. Not only would Dustin be there too, no doubt, but also Blake and Cam, maybe even Tori if she'd changed her mind. He didn't have anything to say to any of them. They could do it without him.
Shane looked up as he heard the phone ring, and went over to it, picking it up. "Hello?"
"Hey, Shane?" It was Tori.
"Tori, what's up?" he asked. He had an idea of what she was going to say.
"Uh, we were wondering if you were gonna come today," she said.
"Why would I?" he asked, a little sharper than he'd intended.
There was a pause. "I just thought maybe you'd changed your mind."
"Why?" he asked. "Have you?"
"I don't know," she admitted. "But I'm going to try, for Blake."
"You do that," he said flatly. "I for one don't care."
"Shane, come on," she pressed. "At least give them a try. I am."
"Yeah well, I'm not you, okay?" Shane snapped. "And I don't want to give anything a try. I sure as hell don't want a couple fags as my friends!"
The line was silent, then Tori spoke. "All right. I guess I'll see you around, then."
"Yeah," he agreed stonily. He hung up the phone and turned away, taking a deep breath. "Fuck," he breathed quietly. So much had changed, including himself. What had become of them all?
Shane shook his head and grabbed his jacket, leaving the house. He couldn't go today, he had no reason to. He had no luck to wish him and nothing else to say. He didn't give a shit what became of them anymore, he just wanted them out of his life.
--