Something To Sleep To
Ginny was in her sixth year. He was in his seventh. There wasn't any reason that he'd end of up uncomfortable because of her presence during class. He had almost every minute of his day far, far away from the girl that captured his mind. He could be in Potions and add powdered Agrimony to his boiling Undisturbable sleeping draught without being distracted by her. He could be in Charms and call out "Acellero Tempus" without risking catching her eye and screwing up. He could even be in Transfiguration and change his safety pin into a bed sheet, which was a little uncomfortable honestly, without wanting to show off to make Ginny want him. But, of course, there was also those times where he was forced to be in the same room with her.
Like now.
It had been a week since Draco had last been in Ginny's arms. A week since she'd broken it off with him. A week since he'd gotten a decent night's sleep. He found that it was easy to distract himself around his two goons. They didn't seem to mind doing whatever tricks he could come up with in his mind, even if he was a bit more irratable then Crabbe and Goyle had thought he ever was. But then he always had to eat, no matter how many times he tried to tell himself he wasn't hungry. By the time he accepted defeat and would head to the Great Hall for a quick bite, Ginny was just leaving. There was only a breif second that he had to be around her, where he had to walk right past her and pretend like he was disgusted. He'd sneer and try to keep his robes from coming in contact with hers.
It was always hard to eat after that.
And then there was the Quidditch game. He was playing against Ravenclaw, so she didn't have to show up. Ginny's in Gryffindor and only shows up to cheer for her team. She told him once that she despised Quidditch, because she was never allowed to fly on a broomstick outside of Hogwarts. This meant that she'd be seperated from Harry when he was at the burrow, because he'd practice with Ron and the twins. She never showed up for a game she didn't have to. She did, though. Just to cheer against the Slytherins. To cheer against him.
She was making getting on with his life hard. He'd been with Pansy so many times that week, he'd lost count. Countless times he woke up with her arms wrapped around him, hair tickling his nose. Sometimes he would pretend that it was Ginny, and then he'd remember Ginny wouldn't stay so long. No, Ginny would never let things get so personal. He wondered why constantly. If life was a puzzle, he was sure that Ginny had her own peice that refused to find a match. She was so difficult to figure out.
So of course he was a stupid prat who just had to make things Difficult for her. After all, she'd done it to him. T'was only... fair.
He found Ginny in the library one afternoon, reading about telepathy. He could only assume that she was doing a project for Divination. He hadn't known that she was still taking that class. She'd spent hours complaining about rediculas assignments and worthless information and horrific deaths that were conflicting and inaccurate, a comment a night, all of which disappeard a few weeks. He had thought that she'd dropped the class like that Mudblood Granger. Obviously, he'd thought wrong.
He turned the corner and walked between the shelves he saw Ginny by. He held himself with the Malfoy pride he'd inherited from her his father, alloing his signature smirk to float across his features and fix itself to match the spark of trouble in his eyes. Deep breath and...
"Weasley."
His voice matched the one he'd used when first confronting her to make the agreement. Images of her head thrown back and silent sounds of her moaning filled his head. It was so hard to not just grab the girl right in front of him and kiss her. He wanted to- Lord, how he wanted to- but that was no way to get what he wanted. Especially from her. No, from her, it always had to be at her will.
Her eyes fluttered up to meet his. He could see the prayer they kept: "Please leave me alone." She allowed her gaze to move back to her book, not saying a word. She didn't have to. Draco knew exactly what she was thinking.
"You didn't really think that I'd just leave you alone, now did you?", he taunted.
"I expected that you'd want to stay far enough away from me to find a way to make my life hell. After all, if you can't have me, then why let me be happy?"
He hadn't expected her fighting back. He thought she'd beg him to go away. Leave her alone. He was waiting for her to just walk away without a word. He was almost wishing that she'd just ignore his attempts to rile her up. He didn't want to hear what she had to say, he wanted her to hear what he had to say.
"Expect the unexpected, Malfoy. Always expect the unexpected. You are a Wizard, after all."
She turned away after that, placing the book she was looking at back on the shelf. He watched her leave, amazed that she could still know exactly what he was thinking. After their week a part from each other, he thought she'd be unable to read him anymore. Unable to remember every little emotion in his eyes. He was wrong, of course. With this girl, he was always wrong.
He reached out to take the book she was just reading. 'The Words of The Mind: Telepathy and How It Works' by Eyema Psycic. He couldn't imagine what kind of coock had written this book. She'd taken on the pen name Eyema Psycic, clearly referring to I'm a Psycic. Anyone who went around flaunting their supposed telepathic and psycic abilities was a fraud. Real psycics, people who got real preminitions were afraid of ther talents. They didn't understand how it worked, why they were chosen for this burden. They often made the mistake of reading books just like this, misleading them to the wrong discoveries of their powers.
Fingering the title, smelling the old leather, he traced the book's cover. Ginny had touched this book. He almost started stroking it lovingly because it had shared his love's touch. Draco started walking towards Madam Pince.
"Can I help you, Mr. Malfoy?", she asked, almost rudely.
He nodded before he said anything. "I'd like to check this out."
Madam Pince, having been around books for a very long time, looked at the boy with her doubt. Surely a person with a father like Lucius didn't really believe in this sort of magic? It could only provide a bit of amusement, no real knowledge. She kept her skeptics to herself and signed the book out to the young Malfoy. If he didn't already know how phoney the book was, he'd learn it on his own.
Draco held the book close to him as he walked out of the library. Of course he knew it was a bunch of lies- we already covered that. He didn't want the old pages of writing for its information. Just for its closeness to Ginny. He slept that night with the book still in his hands, thinking about the person who held it earlier. She was all he ever thought about now. All he ever wished to think about. All he ever wanted to feel. She'd consumed him, and he hated it.
He'd never asked for this. Never wanted this. He felt trapped and tortured in this world of bright hair and subtle, perfect Goddess. He hated feeling trapped. Hated not being in control. He never was in control. He had thought he was, but really it was always Ginny in control. She relished the fact that he was clueless. He was sure of it. She would. It was in her character. She was an amazing woman, always with a taste for revenge. No one crossed her. Pity those who did.
He wondered if anyone had tried to get back at her. He doubted that she rarely ticked anyone off enough to need payback. She was quiet and reserved, never showing her true self to the world. He knew for a fact that no one had seen Ginny the way that he had. It was impossible for them to get close to her; she didn't trust anyone. She was smart to do that, he realized. She trusted Hermione, after all, and look what that got her? Heartache.
And him. Only now did he understand how much he had given himself to her. He'd told her his darkest secrets. He'd told her about his family. About how Lucius had kept Narcissa in the world's shadow so often that she was driven to madness. About how Lucius had pushed Draco so hard that he had actual scars from unfair duels. About how Lucius was Lucius and enjoyed the sick games he'd invented- taking pictures of humiliating situations, starting dark revels even without the Dark Lord's permission, forcing his own son to screw some muggle while playing with himself. It was disgusting. Embarressing. Something he didn't share with anyone.
Except Ginny.
And she'd turned her back on him.
He supposed it wouldn't be so hard to tell her how he felt. Taunting her. Flaunt the pain she'd caused in her face. Make her feel like the scum he now viewed her as. Sure, he cherished her. She was all he wanted. Beautiful. Oh so perfect. But he'd only ever opened up to her, and she threw it back in his face. Squashed any hope he had for dignity. For love. For life.
Simply sharing his feelings didn't seem like enough. He wanted her to feel what she'd made him feel. Wanted that hope ripped right out of her. Wanted her to cry like he had, if she hadn't already. Wanted to taste the sweet, sweet revenge of getting back at her.
So the next day, Draco went to Snape.
"I saw Ginny Weasley looking through Granger's old assignments.", he'd said. "She was copying answer for a homework assignment. Paraphrasing, obviously, as I'm sure you'd remember getting the same answer from Granger. It was only a year ago."
Snape had smiled in a sick, twisted way that showed how happy he was to be able to take away points from Gryffindor. "Thank you, Mr. Malfoy. I'll be sure to give her a detention in class this afternoon. And ten points to Slytherin, for your honesty."
And then later in potions, he himself made sure he got that same detention.
"Mr. Malfoy! Be more careful when creating your potions. Otherwise, we'll all be lucky if all you do is melt your cauldron and burn your hand. Twenty points from Slytherin, and detention!", Snape yelled at his "accident".
He smiled at his success.
He appeared on time, making sure that he was there after Ginny so that he could see her surprise at her company. See her face when she saw that she had to spend several hours with the one person she wanted to be away from. It was a sick sort of satisfaction he got knowing the he was making her uncomfortable instead of the other way around.
Snape,as expected, made the two clean dirtied cauldrons and reorganize his stores. Draco was sure Ginny wanted to groan- hours with someone she hated and forced to clean- but he liked this. He had counted on it. Snape would leave them alone, claiming "better things to do" and "papers to grade". And Draco would say everything he had been feeling. He just had to wait.
After supper that evening, he quickly made his way down to the dungeons. Snape was there too, surprisingly. He liked that Draco got there earlier than he needed to be. Five points to Slytherin.
Draco found it rather hard to wait for Ginny. His plan had only take about five minutes to create and hadn't required much effort to accomplish, but it seemed like it was an eternity before he got to see Ginny walk through the doors. When he had, he almost lost his nerve. She'd looked beautiful, as always. Almost like an angel.
He forced himself to look away.
"Miss. Weasley, you will be cleaning the cauldrons from the third year's class, and Mr. Malfoy, you'll be chopping up these beetle wings for the first year's class. I will leave you two alone, because I have more important things than to sit here and babysit two immature children to do. I'll be back in three hours, when you may leave.", Snape instructed. He turned around quickly, his robes flaring out and trailing behind him. Almost scary how much he resembled a bat.
He wasn't sure how we was going to start. There were so many things he wanted to say, and even more he wanted to ask. He figured that he'd save the questions for last. Questions might make her think she held some cards in the game when she didn't. He wanted her to feel weak. Perhaps scare her a bit. He wanted her to know how angry he was.
It ended up being that he didn't have to choose where to start- she did. She had questions of her own, answers she needed. She had comments floating around in her head. She had her own plans. They conflicted with his, of course. She always complicated his life. It was what he loved about her.
"Thanks for the detention, Malfoy.", she spat as she scrubbed a cauldron.
"What are you talking about? You shouldn't have cheated if you didn't want to be here.", he smirked. He was pushing her, and he knew it.
"But I didn't cheat. And you know it." Short pause. "Why did you do it?"
"Why do you think?", he shot back immediatly. His voice was a snarl, and he knew he sounded like a spoiled brat who wasn't getting ice cream for dinner, but he was glad that he was finally doing something about Ginny.
"Was I really that important to your plans? I didn't do as you'd hoped for, so now you're devoting your energy to making sure I regret my choice?"
He shook his head as he spoke, even though she had her back to him. "No. I didn't have plans to make you regret anything." I have plans for revenge, though, He added silently.
"Don't you get it?" She slammed a cauldron into the sink and turned to face him. He noticed her eyes immediatly. The were blurry, red. She has streaks on her cheeks. Marks of her tears. She'd been crying. Silently. He had made her cry.
Perfect.
"You have nothing left of mine to take! You already have all of me, Draco! My love, my soul, my life. What more could you want?"
"I want you to know how you make me feel!" Draco slammed down his beetle wings and moved around the desk towards Ginny. "I want you to understand that as much of a prisoner you are, I'm in just as deep! I'm drowning in this world where all I think about is you. I cry every night, missing you. It's not just the sex that I miss. It's the way you feel against me. The way you're just so perfect. It's everything you say, everything you do, everything you are. And you know how I try to forget you? By sleeping with Pansy! I'm leading her on, just like you led me on." He inched closer to her face, trying to get right in her face so that she could see his anger. "I get it, perfectly. You're putting us both through hell, just so that your life can be so damn easy!
"Why are you doing this? If you love me and I love you, why is it so complicated? I could be everything you want. I have the money to give you everything you need-"
"Not if you date a Weasley! Your father would have your head, and-"
"My father will be dead soon, when your precious Harry Potter," he spat the name like someone had botched a holiday meal, "defeats Voldemort. We all know he's going to win. Lucicus will be given that damned kiss, and my mother will be happy that I'm trying to not be like him.
"I get it fine. It's you who doesn't get it." His breath was rigid, short, fast. He had always gotten too involved in arguments. He could see that he'd scared Ginny. He'd made her want to cry. He'd done what he wanted to.
So why wasn't he satisfied?
He always loved making her happy. He lived for a short moment where he could make her laugh and see her smile. When she got into a cheery mood, her entire face lit up. It was amazing, really. You'd swear that you were blinded by her. His own feelings matched hers when he was the one to cause that joyful expression. If he had just one more chance to make her be like that, he'd give up forever with her. Just for a second..
"We're not together, because we act like this. Because no matter how much we might like each other, all we do is fight and have sex. You want more than I can give you." She walked towards the sink again, working on her detension chore. Draco could tell that she was ending the conversation, but he couldn't help but add under his breath:
"But all I want is you.."
Hehe.. Sry this took so long. I got a bad report card about six weeks ago, so mommy threatened to take away the 'puter if I didn't start doin' better. Be happy for me: I've got alll As and Bs right now. Even in Algebra! Lol.
Thnx to everyone who reviewed. I hope I still have my readers, what with the long update and stuff... To make up for it, I'm gonna give you guys a spoiler!
~V.S.
[Spoilers]
[Draco (by himself) passes by Ginny (by herself) in the hall.]
"I thought I heard you say something.", Draco said.
Ginny shook her head as she said, "It must have been someone who sounds like me. I certainly did say anything to you."
"But no one sounds like you."
[Ginny's talking to Harry in the common room.]
"You know, Harry. I don't see why you and I couldn't try that dating thing."
Harry paused. Where had that come from, he wondered. Here they were, discussing Snape and his evilness, and she flat out asks him out. She had never been that couragous. Why now?
"I think that would be quite nice."