The Barbie Girl World
An Inuyasha Fiction by StarFoxRocks
Author's Note: For those of you who are curious, yes, I do have the original BGW archived somewhere. I most likely will give a link to where it's at in my profile, so check there whenever.
Chapter Two: Evil Monster
Inuyasha yawned.
"Are you tired?" asked Kagome.
"My monky sense says yes," Miroku said mysteriously.
"Yeah, I am," Inuyasha revealed the answer to why he was acting tired.
"Wow, I never knew," Sango said.
"Anyone want some pop rocks?" Shippo asked, holding out a bag.
Miroku was confused. "What are those?"
"Rock candy," Shippo explained. "They explode in your mouth."
Sango panicked. "No way! That'll kill me!"
Shippo laughed. "No, I mean as in pop. It's harmless."
"Oh," Sango was relieved. "Well, give me some."
Shippo tipped the bag, and candies fell out onto Sango's outstretched palm.
"These don't look too bad!" Sango admitted. She put them in her mouth. "Mmmm... these aren't bad!"
Then, suddenly, her head exploded. Nobody seemed to notice, though.
"I did!" Kagome said loudly.
...shut up.
Then this guy called 'Pops' arrived.
"You shut up!" Pops yelled. "My name is Zenigata! Detective Zenigata!"
"You again?" asked Miroku.
"Yes!" Zenigata stated.
"Did you know that the bagpipes were originally used for people to piss off their allies so they'd want to kill the enemy and they'd have more power to do so?" asked Shippo. "The more you know!"
"Shut up! Too complicated!" Inuyasha muttered.
"Yes it is," Zenigata said.
"Hey... how did you do that?" Shippo asked.
"The what?"
"The bold thing."
"You mean this?"
"Yeah, that's it!"
"I'm not telling."
"Please? All we can do is italics."
"Grrr! Shut up!" Zenigata said. "Listen, I'm here to look for this monster thing. It went on a killing spree in... 'Barbie Girl World'... and they sent me for some reason."
"Oh no! A monster?" Kagome asked. "We have to warn all the other guys!"
(((SFR)))
Somewhere up the cliff, all the evil guys were standing around doing nothing. But then Kagome and Zenigata arrived on the scene, which made them so stuff. In this case, talk.
"Whoa! A visitor!" Sesshomaru said in surprise.
"What do you want?" Kagura muttered.
"There's an evil monster!" Zenigata said loudly for all to hear. "And it'll eat your brains and other vital organs!"
Everyone gasped. Even Kagome, even though she already knew. Actually, she didn't know about the brain eating thing. So yeah, there was a reason.
"Holy crap!" Kohaku said.
"Hey, you're not evil," Naraku pointed at Kohaku.
"Yes I am," Kohaku protested. "I'm controlled by you. But I don't think Rin is evil. What's your story?"
Rin looked at Kohaku. "Me? Oh, I stalk Sesshomaru."
"AHA! THE RUMORS WERE TRUE!!!" Sesshomaru yelled. He quickly jumped off the cliff edge.
"Crap," muttered Rin. "I have no reason to exist anymore."
Suddenly, she disintegrated, because the God of time decided to erase her from existence.
"Well, that sucks," Kohaku muttered. "I have no more friends."
"What about Sango?" Kagome asked.
"Whoa, no," Kohaku muttered. "I refused to be near her since that incident with the hammer. Besides, she's dead anyway."
"Oh, yeah."
"Well, just be on the lookout," Zenigata said. "Anyway, I'm gonna go down there. You know... down that path?"
"Yeah," Naraku said. "Yeah, I know. Down there."
"Yeah? Down to the bottom?"
"Yeah."
"Where the cave is and all?"
"Yeah."
"Just making sure."
"Yup. I know."
"Okay... bye."
"Bye bye."
"Bye. See ya!"
"Okay, bye."
"Later, alligator."
"B-"
"Shut the hell up and go already!!!" yelled Kagura.
(((SFR)))
As Kagome and Zenigata returned, Inuyasha had a bone to pick with them.
"What happened?" he asked. "I get all lonely here, and then my brother falls from the cliff and dies!"
"What about Shippo?" asked Kagome.
"No, he died," Inuyasha said. "I killed- I mean, he had a heart attack."
"I didn't know he was ever in any conditions for a heart attack," Kagome said.
"Well, me neither. Now help me pick out this bone!"
He pointed to a pile of bones.
"You have to help me find the right one," Inuyasha explained. "If not, we all die!"
"Omg! No! That's insane!" Zenigata yelled.
"How did you do that?" Kagome asked.
"Maybe later," Zenigata muttered. "Anyway, I'll help pick out the bone thingy."
"Yay! What a happy day!" Inuyasha cheered.
They both kneeled down by the large pile.
"Sooo... which one?"
"I dunno."
"Hmmm."
"My thoughts exactly."
Kagome was confuzzled. "Uh... I'm gonna go... over there."
She walked off as they keep musing over the pile of bones.
(((SFR)))
Kagome suddenly got lost in the woods. While looking around, she saw Koga in a field picking flowers.
"Oh, these will be gorgeous for my hut," he was saying. "Huh?"
Suddenly, some weird creature hopped up. It looked like a Zergling, you know, from StarCraft. In fact, let's say it actually is one.
"What the hell?" Koga asked.
The zergling made cute puppy noises.
"Aww... it's so cute."
Koga petted it. But then his hand got bitten off.
"Ow! What the hell's wrong with you? Oh, well..."
He grew another hand in his old one's place. "Much better!"
The zergling bit off his hand again.
"Ow! That was my last hand!" he yelled. "Oh, that's it!"
He drew his sword. But then suddenly the zergling ate his head, and that would include the brains.
"Holy crap!" Kagome said to herself. "There is a monster! Whaomg!"
The monster – I mean, Zergling – suddenly turned and saw Kagome! But then it ran off. Like a cute bunny rabbit.
Kagome paused. "wtf? Why didn't it eat me?"
"You should be happy," said her conscience.
"What?"
"Be happy, damn you!"
"Never!" she snorted. "That'll show him!"
She walked off.
(((SFR)))
"So... do you think it's this one?"
"We can't be too sure..."
"Hmmmm..."
"Ho hum..."
Inuyasha and Zenigata were still looking through the bones. Suddenly, Kagome arrived.
"Guys! You won't believe this! I was in the woods, and Koga suddenly got eaten by a zergling!"
"OMG!" yelled Inuyasha. He fainted.
"Sissy," Zenigata giggled. "Anyway, what'll we do about it?"
"Hey! Guys!" came a voice. They looked up to the top of the cliff.
Kohaku was standing up there. He was yelling for no reason.
"There is a reason!" he said. "There's an evil beast up here! It's engorging my leg!"
"Is it a zergling?" Kagome called.
"I don't know what the hell it is! Just help me!" Kohaku squealed.
Suddenly, he fell to the ground and screamed a lot, like a baby girl. He grabbed the cliff edge. Something was pulling him back!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" he yelled. "NOOO, THIS CAN'T BE! OH, THE PAIN! OOOHHHH NOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! OH MY GOD THIS HURTS! OH, THE SEARING PAIN, COURSING THROUGH MY BODY! OH NOES, I HAVE NO BODY ANYMORE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!"
"Hey, he can do the bold thing too!" Inuyasha declared. "Please! Tell us how to do it and we'll help you!"
"OKAY! THE SECRET IS TO CLICK THE B BUTTON AND YOU'LL BE ABLE TO TALK IN BOLD! IT'S NEXT TO THE I BUTTON FOR ITALICS!"
"What B button?" Inuyasha asked. "Oh! This button! And now I click B?"
He began to cheer. "Yes! It works! And I can do Bold and Italics!"
"We have to save Kohaku!" Kagome shouted.
"Screw Kohaku! This is cool!" Inuyasha said.
Kohaku was dragged from the cliff. There were loud screams. Then his dismembered body parts began to fly around. No blood, though. That would make this fic R-rated.
"Nooo! Kohaku!" Kagome yelled.
"Man! I'm boldin' like a bastard!" Inuyasha yelled.
"Lordy! Help me!"
Naraku came running down the cliff.
"What's his problem?" Zenigata asked.
"The cute but ugly little Zergling is after me!" Naraku squealed. "Please! Protect me!"
"Okay," Zenigata said.
The Zergling came charging down the hill. It ran for Naraku.
"Oh nooooooes!" Naraku screamed. "Help!"
Zenigata kicked the Zergling. That didn't affect it, though. It just bit his leg off.
"No! My leg! What did you do to my leg?!" yelled Zenigata, hopping around on one foot.
The Zergling bit Naraku's head off. Naraku died.
"Hey!" Miroku yelled angrily. "I was forgotten!"
"Screw you!" Inuyasha said.
"Hey... you learned the bold trick!" Miroku declared. "I declare!"
"Yeah! Do you know how to do it?"
"No... can you tell me?"
"Press the B thing on Microsoft word!"
"You mean this?" Miroku asked. "Ah. Much better."
"Totally, dude," Inuyasha said.
"Radical..."
"Will you guys shut up?!" yelled Kagome. "We've gotta stop this monster!"
"You deal with it! I've gotta grow a new leg!" Zenigata yelled.
"C'mere, boy!" Inuyasha said in a voice that was all too familiar for Zenigata.
"Aha! You're-"
Inuyasha ripped off his own face, revealing he was really Lupin the Third.
"Holy Crap!" yelled Miroku.
"Yup! It's me! And now I shall stop your evil bold doing ways!"
He stabbed Miroku in the chest.
"For years I have been hunting all the bold and italic do-ers, and I grew tired of hunting them myself, so I summoned this Zergling!"
"But it killed Koga! He wasn't a bold and italics guy!"
"Well... I guess he did kinda overdo it..." Lupin admitted. "But it doesn't matter! They're all dead! Expecially that Shippo guy, I killed him, too!"
"If he was overdoing it, why didn't he eat me?" Kagome asked.
"Well... you see... he's kind afraid of girls."
Kagome laughed uncontrollably.
"Stop... stop that," Lupin asked. "Stop! Stop, you're hurting his feelings!"
Kagome didn't stop, so Lupin stabbed her, too.
"Well, you're dead now, bitch!" he said. "Don't push your luck next time, toots."
He walked off with the Zergling.
"So, zergie, what do ya wanna do now?"
The zergling made zergling-ish noises.
"Hey... what are you doing?"
What? Zergling is evolving!
...
...
(Elevator Music)
...
...
Zergling morphed into Ultralisk!!!
Ultralisk roared loudly.
"Oh my sod!!!" yelled Lupin. He got ripped apart by the Ultralisk.
But then, the Ultralisk suffered a fatal heart attack from eating too much fatty foods as a zergling. So now everyone's dead. Again.
"Wait a minute!" Jaken yelled. "I'm not dead!"
Then he chopped off his head because I said so.
"You can't do that!" yelled Kagura. "It's not fair!"
Then she got disbanded by the cast, because this is my story and I can do what I want! And I say this chapter is over! The end!
End of Chapter Two