Because I feel like it... it's time for the Happy Super Ultra Review Answering time! Where I answer all the reviews I have so far! Because I'm also bored and looking for a way to make my story seem longer! (Well, not entirely.)
dash142 – Yeah, I'll say. I hope you keep reading!
spazzchickennli – Hey, you posted the same review twice. (cough) Hmm... the force, eh? And if anyone's killing Kaggie's grandfather, it'll be... the clown. ;)
Kate-chan – Yes, indeed it sucks. But I still do have the original BGW, so as I've said in Ch 2's A/N, I might post a link to where I have it in my profile soon enough.
Pyro Rocker Maniac Latina-Sama – I will. Just be sure to keep reading. :)
DarkWarLordofDoomness – Well, I was considering having somebody do a kamikaze routine with a bomb and all. Perhaps you'll see that in this chapter. Thanks for the idea! :)
Moon-dj-rama – Thanks! Also, see what I said to Kate-chan about the original BGW and all.
Since that's all... I shall proceed with the story!
(((SFR)))
The Barbie Girl World
An Inuyasha Fiction by StarFoxRocks
Chapter Three: Guns and hot dog Buns
Everyone was bored again. Kagome looked around.
"Hey, what if there was this place where we could be happy?"
"You mean we're not happy here?" Shippo asked.
"Bascially," Kagome replied.
Inuyasha stood. "I'm all for it."
"I'm staying here," Miroku thought otherwise. "I'm plenty happy."
"Not according to your diary," Sango pointed out.
Miroku's eyes bulged. "What?!"
Kagome read aloud: "Dear diary – there hasn't been a woman to ask that children question about that one child I raped but didn't. I am so lonely. So lonely that I look towards a book for advice."
Miroku screamed. "Noooo! That's private! Where did you get that?!"
"From under your bed," was Kagome's response.
"I don't even have a bed!!!" Miroku yelled. "I hate you all!"
He ran off crying. Everyone was silent, until Inuyasha decided to speak.
"Okay, turn the page."
(((SFR)))
Meanwhile, somewhere in the real world, this one guy was standing at Kagome's house where the well was. Suddenly, Koga climbed up.
"Where am I?" he wondered aloud.
"Hey," the said guy. "Wanna buy some guns?"
Koga's eyes lit up. "Are they... happy guns?"
The man frowned. "...no."
Koga frowned as well. "Oh... are they sexy guns?"
The man gave Koga a look.
Koga looked back at him. "Say, what's a gun anyway?"
The man held up a pistol. "If you squeeze this thing here, it makes loud noises and hurts people!"
"Cool!" Koga yelled with anticipation. "I always wanted to hurt people!"
The man smiled. "Good... now, down the well you go."
He pushed Koga into the well, then walked off.
"Now to find more people!"
(((SFR)))
Koga climbed out of the well. He was back in feudal Japan.
"Huh. That was weird. But at least I have this cool thing," he said, admiring the pistol.
Kikiyo walked up.
"What's that?" she asked.
Koga held up the gun. "This thing? Oh, it's a really fun toy. Some guy is selling them at the bottom of the well."
"...really..." Kikiyo asked.
"Really," Koga said. "It's totally rad."
They both stood there.
"So... I'm gonna go now... bye."
Koga walked off. Then Kikiyo looked around, and jumped into the well.
Suddenly, Koga came back.
"Aha! Caught in the act! You were gonna jump down the – eh – where'd she go?"
(((SFR)))
"...and when I slapped that guy, I slapped him again! Oh, is it fun to act like a girl! Sometimes I... EEEWW!!"
Kagome slammed Miroku's diary shut.
"What?" asked Inuyasha. "Come on! It was getting to the good part!"
"I love climaxes!" exclaimed Shippo.
"You don't want to know..." Kagome warned.
"Yes, we do! Tell us now!" demanded Sango.
"Okay, fine. He wanted to wear w-"
Zenigata, that guy from last chapter, suddenly ran up.
"I was completely forgotten like Miroku in that last chapter!" he yelled. "Why didn't something happen to me? I just disappeared!"
"Can't you go away?" asked Sango.
"No. Answer my question."
"I can solve your problem!" Inuyasha said. He pulled out a gun and shot Zenigata in the head. "Problem solved!"
Zenigata would have said thanks, except for the fact that he was dead. Inuyasha observed the gun.
"Man, this is a great toy," he muttered.
"Toy?" Kagome was appalled. "Inuyasha, that's a very dangerous thing!"
"Don't be silly! The funny man said it was a toy!"
He aimed at Shippo, making 'pow' and 'bang' noises.
"Okay, Shippo, you're dead now."
Shippo blinked. "Huh?"
"Play dead!"
"Oh!" Shippo cleared his throat, then did a dramatic death scene. He fell over and pretended to be dead.
Inuyasha laughed. "Okay, you can get up now."
Shippo got up. "How was that?"
"Um, that was good, yeah. But you need to work on that death scream?"
"What death scream?"
"I didn't say anything about a death scream."
Inuyasha shot Shippo in the head, and said one of those popular lines of the previous BGW.
"Tag! You're dead! Mahahaha!"
(((SFR)))
Miroku was the next to climb out of the well to meet the man.
"Hey... wanna buy a gun?" the man asked.
"I've heard about those," Miroku muttered. "But I'm pissed off right now, so I don't give a damn about them. Gimmie!"
He grabbed one and jumped back down the well. The man scratched the back of his head.
"Well... I guess that's enough... so... yeah."
He jumped down the well as well.
(((SFR)))
"Come on! Tell us, please!"
"Pretty please, with a cherry on top?"
Inuyasha and Sango were trying to make Kagome tell what Miroku had in his diary. But she refused.
"I refuse," she refused.
Suddenly, they saw these guys all standing up the hill. They were 'the man', Rachel Moore, Richard Moore, Vash the Stampede, Koga, Kikiyo, Miroku, and Spock!
"Hey! You!" the man pointed. "Yeah! I'm talking to you!"
Inuyasha looked at Sango, then Kagome, then up at the man. He gave a confused look and pointed at himself.
"Not you! Her!" the man said.
Inuyasha looked at Kagome, then Sango. He still looked confused.
"Not her! Her!" the man yelled.
Inuyasha rolled his eyes.
"Oh, screw it," the man said. "We're gonna rob the hot dog stand!"
"What hot dog stand?" asked Kagome.
"THAT hot dog stand!" yelled the man, pointing. Behind Inuyasha, Kagome, and Sango was a big hot dog stand.
"Attack!" yelled the man. "Fight to the death!"
The large group charged, but Inuyasha pulled out his pistol.
"Not so fast! I have a gun!" he yelled.
Everyone cowered.
"You fools!" Vash shouted. "We've all got guns! Now charge!"
Everyone realized that he was right. They began charging, except for Rachel and Richard.
Rachel gave Richard a cross look. "This is better than shopping... why?"
"I dunno, I was lazy and this seemed like a good way to get out of it," Richard shrugged.
Inuyasha used his gun and smited Spock with a bullet of justice from his wonderful mini-boomstick.
"I want a mini boomstick!" whined Miroku. Inuyasha shot him.
"We all have mini boomsticks!" Vash said. "Technically..."
Guess what Inuyasha did? He shot him. But Vash is too cool to die like that, so let's say he hit Kikiyo instead.
"No!" Inuyasha cried. "Not Kikiyo! I love her!"
"Even though she tried to suck you into the bowels of hell?" asked Richard, from far off.
"Hey, you're right," Inuyasha said. He began to shoot Kikiyo even more. "DIE, EVIL HELL-SPAWNED BITCH!"
The man grew tired of Inuyasha pwning everyone with his mini boomstick. So he used a revolver and blasted him away.
"Wow! What grace!" Vash observed as Inuyasha flew.
"That's a nice arc of blood," Rachel commented.
When Inuyasha landed, everyone clapped.
"Terrific landing!" Sango exclaimed.
Koga had wandered off and gotten drunk. He also somehow aquired another pistol to shoot with.
"Hey... (hic) didja hear about (hic) theesh peopelz... (hic) omg im so drunk."
"Your typing is terrible," snorted Miroku.
"How can you even tell?!" Koga yelled. He used his pistols and pumped Miroku full of lead.
Suddenly, the SWAT team came in.
"Freeze! We've been informed of a riot going on down here, thanks to an anonymous tipster!"
(((SFR)))
Zenigata was watching the TV.
"Eeeeeexcellent," he said evilly.
Mister Burns walked up. "That's my line, ass chin!"
(((SFR)))
Back in Barbie Girl World, the SWAT team had approached the drunk Koga.
"Freeze!" yelled the leader.
"Hehy, the schwat!" muttered Koga. "(hic) Down with you guys!"
"Don't make us fire, sir, we're armed! Get down on the floor."
"Schrew all of j00!"
"He's packing heat! Open fire!"
They used their awesome machine guns and shotguns to shoot down Koga.
The man sighed. "This has gone way off plan."
"But we killed one of them," Richard pointed out. "Is that good enough?"
"Not nearly enough!" Vash yelled. He was silenced by the SWAT team's weapons of mass destruction.
"Okay, enough of this crap!" the leader shouted. "All of you get on the ground!"
"Uh, I'm wearing a skirt, and it would be really uncomfortable," Rachel said.
"Suspect is resisting! Use brute force!"
He grabbed a night stick and began beating Rachel. Meanwhile, everyone else got into a row and fell to the ground.
"This sucks," the man muttered.
"Tell me about it," Vash said.
"Okay," the man said. "We all gathered up, and I did that 'I'm talkin' to you thing!' And then-"
Vash sighed. "That was an expression, dolt."
"Dolt? Reminds me of a screwdriver... do you mean bolt?"
Vash sighed.
"Stop beating me!" Rachel yelled. "I'll do anything!"
"Find my car for me!" one of the SWAT members asked. "I lost it in the jungle, and I can't find it."
Jimmy Kudo appeared.
"I can help!" he winked.
"Really?" the SWAT member asked.
"Yes," Jimmy began. "I discovered that you car wasn't lost in the jungle, but you left it in the most likely place – the garage."
"Garage?" the SWAT member was puzzled. "I don't even have a garage, I live in a apartment."
"Um..." Jimmy suddenly pointed. "Hey, look over there! There's your car!"
"Yay!" the SWAT member ran over to his car and made love to it. Everyone got sick, so the SWAT guy was smited so their eyes would be defiled no longer.
"Thanks, mister Kudo!" the SWAT leader said. "You lead to that man's untimely death."
"You're welcome," Jimmy said.
They were silent.
"Uh... one truth prevails," Jimmy muttered.
Everyone went silent again.
"...we're all gonna die," Jimmy continued.
"You now, he's right," Kagome pointed out. "We always end up dying in horrible ways. And according to the reviewers, it's always gonna be hilarious."
"We should form a community," Jimmy suggested. "Where all the Barbie Girl Worldians could live in peace."
"I'm fine with it," Vash agreed. "Why shouldn't we do it?"
"'cause even if we do we'll die anyway?" Richard muttered crossly.
Everyone looked at each other, then pulled out their guns and began shooting each other. In the end, only Richard remained standing.
"Well, this sucks," he said. "Everyone got shot."
Actually, this wasn't true. You see, Rachel was beaten pretty badly, so she died of her injuries from that eeeeevil nightstick, and not from a bullet.
"Screw you," Richard muttered. "Wait a minute... if everyone's dead... THAT MEANS BARBIE GIRL WORLD IS MINE FOREVER! AHH HA HAH! HA HA HA!!!"
You're probably thinking, "He's gonna die." But that's where you're wrong, my friend. VERY wrong. In fact, we shall see how everyone deals with it when they come back to life in the next chapter!
........okay, I'll stop screwing with you, he ends up getting crushed by an Acme™ brand anvil.
End of Chapter Three