The Barbie Girl World

An Inuyasha Fiction by StarFoxRocks

Chapter Five: Night of the Cameos, Part One

Sesshomaru and Jaken were in a house. In fact, a towering mansion. Not your ordinary outhouse. There were servants and such to obey both of their whims. Actually, it was empty. Just Sesshomaru and Jaken and Rin. But Rin was possessed by a demon, so she doesn't count. Wait... nope. Doesn't count.

"Where is that exorcist?" Jaken said irritably. "He said he'd be here 12 hours ago! I don't see him anywhere!"

"Maybe traffic caught him up," Sesshomaru shrugged.

"You say that all the time," Jaken pointed out.

"Any better ideas?" Sesshomaru asked.

Jaken scratched his head. "Come to think of it, know. What do you think, mister chicken?"

The chicken looked up at him. "Cluck."

"Interesting. What the – AH! Lord Sesshomaru! Help! A chicken!"

Sesshomaru smiled. "I think it's cute."

"It'll eat your eyeballs! Run!"

Spazzchicken suddenly appeared. "Don't touch that chicken!"

Suddenly, three chickens surrounded him.

"Heil spazzchicken! Heil spazzchicken!"

Spazzchicken sighed. "No... it's HAIL, you dumb shits! HAIL! Stop making it seem like I'm Hitler, damn you!"

The chickens looked at each other.

"Uh... hail!"

"That's right. Hail."

Suddenly, balls of hail began to rain upon them.

"Oh noes!" yelled Jaken. "What an unfortunate event!"

Miroku entered via the front door.

"I'm here!"

Sesshomaru blinked. "Jaken, you hired this oaf?"

Miroku frowned. "Hey, I'm not fat!"

Spazzchicken ruffled his feathers. "Damn right. He looks skinny. You need to gain weight there, pal."

"You shut up, or I'll smite you."

"With what?"

"...touché."

Someone who looked like Kagome but wasn't Kagome entered via the... front entrance. I would say door, but I'm being creative here.

"Look! It's Kagome!" yelled one of Spazzchicken's chickens.

"I'm not Kagome," Kagome said. "My name is Kate-Chan. Look at my hair, for god's sake. It's not black."

"Chan? Do you know Jackie?"

Kate-Chan raised a pistol and shot the chicken. Spazzchicken took immediate offence.

"Hey! Nobody shoots these chickens but me! Attack!"

The remaining two chickens attached themselves to strings and flew at Kate-Chan. She didn't feel like killing more innocent chickens, so she shot their strings and they fell atop each other, making a chicken totem pole.

"Ha ha! They look funny!" Jaken laughed.

But then the chickens toppled over and landed on Jaken, ceasing his laughing forever.

"Why am I here again?" Miroku asked.

"We're trying to exorcise Rin," Sesshomaru answered.

"Oh, yeah," Miroku said. "So... who's Rin?"

"A girl-"

"Is she hot?"

Sesshomaru blinked. "Um... she's upstairs, in her room."

Miroku nodded. "Right. I'll go... exorcise... her. Wait here, and do not disturb me at any time."

"Understood."

As Miroku walked up the stairs, Sesshomaru turned back to Spazzchicken, who asked, "So now what?"

Suddenly, a guy appeared through a cloud of purple smoke that was really from some fog machine with purple food coloring dumped into it. It magically worked somehow, I'm not getting into the gory details.

"Mwahahaha! My name is Hayvel Bringer of DOOM! But you may call me HBoD or Hayvel, because the author is a lazy jackass! M Mc2."

"Wow! Amazing!" Sesshomaru exclaimed.

"I know it is," Hayvel said.

"Well, this is pointless," Kate-Chan stated. "What do we do now?"

"Let's all go out for a night on the town!" Sesshomaru suggested.

"Too dangerous," Hayvel muttered. "Mars is bright tonight."

"What?"

"Mars! The angry red planet! It will be redder than it has ever been! Mind over matter. Brains over brawn. Tic tac toe, three in a row!"

"I love that game!" Sesshomaru yelled with glee.

"Hold on," Spazzchicken said. "Mars? I love Mars, I think. Red is cool because it's the color of blood. Or maybe it's the other way around. I don't know. But I'm going outside anyway."

"I'm warning you!" Hayvel yelled at Spazzchicken's back. "There will be a day of reckoning for you, you non believer of the angry red planet! Bees produce honey."

"I think I'm going with him," Kate-Chan said, walking out the door.

Only Sesshomaru and Hayvel remained. There was some thumping noises heard from Rin's room, but they decided to ignore it and assume it was part of the 'ritual.'

"So... do we go with them?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Absolutely not," Hayvel responded. "Mars is bright! So bright it will blind those unfortunate enough to look at it! Expecially ducks! God help you if you are a duck! Pi 3.14, chemicals burn things, soy lent green is people. Let's go."

They walked outside.

(((SFR)))

"Damn, it's cold."

"Then you should have brought a sweater."

"Why is it so cold?"

"Rice cakes are good."

They were having a pleasant walk around, until they realized that zombies were running amok.

"Holy Crap!" yelled Spazzchicken as a zombie bit his leg. "Dude! You bit my kicker! Eat this!"

"Okay," the zombie said as Spazzchicken attempted to kick it with his other leg. He ate it.

"Oh no! What have I done!?" yelled Spazzchicken. "With my last breath, I curse Shippo!"

The zombies ripped him apart and ate him up. One of them stared menacingly.

"So, anyone else want a CAMEO?!?!"

"Damn," Sesshomaru said as he watched the feast begin. "I really liked chickens, too. Pity he had to go and die a horrible death. Maybe he'll come back to life next chapter."

"Not possible," Hayvel muttered. "It's a two-chapter addition, so it continues from where Chapter one left off, and Spazzchicken would therefore remain dead. Unless the author says 'Screw that!' and brings him back to life unfairly. But I doubt that would happen. I like eggs."

"Damn," Sesshomaru repeated.

"Well, with all these zombies about, where should we hide?" Kate-Chan asked.

"Oh! I know!" Hayvel called. "The mall! It's always safe there!"

They ran off towards the mall.

(((SFR)))

When they arrived at the mall, they saw it was on fire.

"Crap," Kate-Chan muttered.

Hayvel scratched his head. "Well, that backfired."

Suddenly, two girls appeared. Their names were Kairi and Moon. Kairi has long brown hair with blue highlights, as well as a doggy ears. Complete with wolf tail. Moon, however, had brown eyes and hair. They both loved donuts because they taste so damn good.

"How come they get a cool description and all?" asked Hayvel.

Because... I got more information. I don't know.

"Oh... okay," Hayvel muttered uncertainly. "Only three movies have won 11 Academy Awards for being so awesome."

"Oh, no!" Kairi screamed. "They burnt down the mall!"

"At least we can still get donuts," Moon suggested. "Should we get donuts?"

"Nah," muttered Sesshomaru. "The Donut World shop got burned down. Pity it had to go and burn a painful burnination like that."

Moon screamed a dramatic scream.

"Totally," Hayvel said sadly. "Did you know you could eat the hole of a donut?"

"So, what now?" Kate-Chan asked yet again. "We have nowhere to go, we might as well just be eaten by the zombies."

"We could always return home," suggested Sesshomaru. "I need to see if Miroku is done with the exorcism yet."

"Miroku will never finish anything if it involves him and a girl," muttered Hayvel.

Everyone laughed, except for Sesshomaru.

"I don't get it. Is he a ladies' man, or what?"

Everyone laughed harder.

"Seriously, I don't get it."

"You don't want to," Moon muttered.

It took them nine long years to return home. But they did it. Well... okay, replace years with minutes. There's your problem.

"We're home at last!" Kate-Chan exclaimed.

They opened the front door. Suddenly, a dancing girl danced out at them!

"AH!" Sesshomaru had a joint heart attack.

Fallen-Angels-Tears was the name of the dancing girl who gave Sesshomaru a heart attack. She danced and danced and danced.

"I love dancing!" she exclaimed. "On some days I just dance until I get tired, or annoy people enough for them to make rude gestures and threaten me with bodily harm!"

Hayvel muttered to Kate-Chan, "Got any bullets left in that gun of yours?"

Fallen-Angels-Tears stopped dancing. "Okay, I get the picture."

"Well, I guess you can join us," Kairi said.

"Yay!" Fallen joined them as they walked inside and closed the doors.

"Well, we're safe from the zombies," Moon stated. "I guess we can just hang out and wait for this whole thing to blow over now."

"Yup," Kate-Chan said, but then noticed something. "Oh no! We left Sesshomaru outside!"

They all gathered at the windows to see zombies engorging upon Sesshomaru's body.

"Crap!" Hayvel yelled. "We're trapped in a dead guy's house, surrounded by zombies, with a rapist monk! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! 8 2 64."

Kairi sighed. "Well, this sucks."

"Totally," Kate-Chan agreed.

Everyone declared, "What will happen next time? Find out next time, on the next chapter! Omg!"

End of Chapter Five

Cameo Directory Thing

Kairi and Moon – Moon-dj-rama

Kate-Chan – Herself

Spazzchicken – Himself

Chicken Minions – Spazzchicken

Hayvel – Hayvel Bringer of DOOM

fallen-angels-tears – Herself