The Barbie Girl World

An Inuyasha Fiction by StarFoxRocks

Chapter Twelve: The Holy Mole of Doom

Author's Note: I'm veeeeeeery sorry for not updating for such a long time. If you guys are wondering why I've been slacking, check my profile for some updates.

Shippo was playing with a stuffed animal doll that looked like barney the purple dinosaur. Miroku watched nervously.

"What the hell is that thing?" he asked.

"It's Barney!" Shippo yelled, holding the doll up. "I love Barney! His theme song rules!"

"Um…" Miroku looked around. "Uh, what does his theme song… I mean, how does it go?"

Shippo took a deep breath.

"'I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! WE'RE A HAPPY FAMILY! WITH A GREAT BIG HUG –'"

Miroku smacked Shippo upside the head to ensure that he would never burst into song ever again. Feeling angry, Shippo reverted to his fanboy/n00b personaility.

"OMG d00d WTF WUZ DAT 4 I H8 j00 OMFG… nintendo roxors."

Miroku screamed.

"Holy crap! He's speaking some kind of retarded language!"

Inuyasha appeared. "Get him!"

Everyone else appeared and took turns mauling Shippo with a maul.

"That was fun," said Inuyasha later, when they were finished.

"Indeed," agreed Sango. "What do you think, Kagome?"

"I like pie," Kagome answered.

Miroku blinked. "So… how come you guys get to appear out of nowhere?"

"We didn't," explained Sango. "That's just what the writer WANTS you to think."

"But I saw you!" Miroku objected. "There was nothing there and suddenly you were there!"

Sango smited Miroku with extreme justice.

"I had to do it," she explained to Kagome. "He was getting too close into our secret."

Kagome nodded. "I understand."

Suddenly, a golden colored mole appeared.

"SEE!" Miroku yelled. "HE APPEARED OUT OF NOWHERE! WHAT IS THIS SHITAKE MUSHROOM?"

The golden mole smited Miroku.

"Shut up!" it demanded. "I am the Holy Mole!"

"OMG!" Inuyasha declared, getting down on his knees and hailing it. "I am not worthy, I am not worthy…"

"No, you are not!" the mole returned.

Then, another dude that looked like Jesus appeared!

"Why am I not dead yet!" screamed Miroku in agony.

This time, Sango, The Holy Mole, and the Dude all smited Miroku at the same time. Miroku's head exploded, but since we can't have explicit content, a bunch of flowers fly out of his head, as well as glitter, and a happy rainbow!

"i b the holy lord lol," claimed the Dude.

"Liar," Holy Mole said. "I am the holy lord!"

"My name is Jebus," the Dude said more clearly.

"Don't you mean… JESUS?" asked Kagome.

"No," Jebus said. "My name really IS Jebus. I think my parents misspelled my name on my birth certificate.

"What's your real name?" asked Inuyasha.

"Earl," replied Jebus.

Sango blinked. "I see."

"Not anymore!" Holy Mole yelled, gouging her eyes out.

Sango squealed in agony, getting up and running around.

"Was that really necessary?" asked Jebus nervously.

"Yes," Holy Mole responded. "The Mole King wanted me to do that."

"Who is this 'Mole King'?" asked Kagome.

"He is the King of Moles," Holy Mole stated blatantly.

"I noticed that," Inuyasha said arrogantly. "But really, who IS he?"

"The King of Moles," repeated Holy Mole. "And he rules hell. That, too."

"So he judges us when we die?" questioned Kagome.

"Yes!" screamed Holy Mole dramatically.

"And he rules hell!" yelled Inuyasha.

"Yes!" screamed Holy Mole dramatically.

"Are you Osama Bin Ladin!" asked Jebus.

"Yes!" screamed Holy Mole dramatically. "Wait… no. I wish, ha hah."

"I can grant wishes!" claimed Jebus. "Do you wish to be Osama?"

"Yes!" screamed Holy Mole dramatically.

Jebus granted his wish. Holy Mole was now Osama Bin Ladin.

"I will crash a plane into your home!" Osama yelled.

"GET HIM!" screamed Inuyasha.

They all ganged up on Osama and punched him to death.

Then, Saddam appeared.

"Saddam Hussien?" Jebus said. "They should call him, 'So damn INSANE!'"

"That is so old/10!" Inuyasha grumbled.

"stfu," returned Jebus.

"No," Inuyasha said.

Jebus looked sad. "Okay."

"Now what?" Kagome asked.

"Now I shall reveal my true form!" Jebus called out.

He turned into a school bus.

"Holy crap!" Inuyasha yelled, pointing at the bus.

"There is no Holy Crap!" Jebus said with rage. "There is only the Holy Mole, the Holy Cow, and me! Jebus!"

"A holy Cow?" Kagome repeated. "Wow! He DOES exist! Where is he?"

"Behind you," said a voice.

Kagome turned around and saw a flying cow with a harp and a halo above it's head.

"Aww! It's so cute!"

"Um, I could use a little help down here!" Inuyasha said.

"Screw you!" Kagome yelled. "Look at the cute cow!"

The Holy Cow, looking frightened, flew up higher in the sky.

"Wait! Come back!" Kagome cried. "I just want to pet you!"

In response, the Holy Cow took it's halo and threw it like a weapon. It sawed Kagome's head off.

"Holy crap!" Inuyasha yelled again.

"HE DOESN'T EXIST!" Jebus declared. "GRARRR!"

Jebus ran down Inuyasha swiftly, making fresh roadkill.

Holy Cow flew down and inspected the damage.

"Aww, look at that," it said sadly. "That's just cruel. I mean, cutting off heads is mean, but it kills them instantly. No pain. You go and run people over, which makes them feel pain a whole lot longer."

"Oh, go shove it up your ass, beef butt," Jebus muttered.

Holy Cow got angry.

"You son of a…"

He took his harp and used it to chop Jebus in half. Then, he used it again to make quarters, then eights, then sixteenths, then pennies.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA," laughed Holy Cow triumphantly.

Alex Trebek came over to it.

"You're winnar!" he declared.

"What's my prize?" asked Holy Cow.

"Nothing," Alex Trebek answered.

Holy Cow's head exploded. Out came flowers and glitter and a happy rainbow!

"LMAO COWZ!" Trebek yelled.

End of Chapter 12