Author's Note: I'm surprised with the feedback I've gotten. It usually takes a new writer forever to get this many reviews (I have 14 at the moment.......... for my first chapter!), so thank you ALL so much!! This chapter is........... I'm not sure, but it IS. You'll just have to read to find out. I've been experimenting with alot of ideas, so we'll just see how this all turns out, ne?

Blade of Secrets

Chapter 2- Secret Shards

Robin paced around his room, silently trying to figure out what it was that Starfire was hiding. All the ideas that had popped into his head seemed so... out of character... for her. Starfire never seemed like the kind of person who would perform such vile acts upon herself; she had always had a hard time fighting with her own enemies, convinced that there was some good left within them, somewhere. It had become increasingly difficult for her to fight with Terra, even at the end when they had all decided that she needed to go down. Starfire was just that kind of person; she just wanted to spread the peace, make people happy, not seal their fates with black roses. So how in the world was it possible that she would perform an even worse kind of torture upon herself, even if it was to defeat internal demons that no one realized she battled with?

He knew he shouldn't deny it any longer; the facts were obvious and right in front of him. Starfire was a cutter; she performed self mutilation upon herself. But... why? What was her cause? She had always seemed so happy, and he knew she felt like she fit in. She got along well with everyone, and she was contented with herself. What could have possibly happened that was so terrible that she felt the need to hurt herself instead of talk to someone about it? Sure, Robin new it usually took a bit of prying to get anything out of her; when her sister had come, he hadn't realized until much later that she had felt like she was being replaced and was no longer wanted. But that whole situation had been cleared up so long ago, it couldn't have possibly been the reason for Starfire's newly obtained 'bad habit'. Was it because she felt like there was an overwelming number of things she still needed to learn about earth before she could consider herself normal? Was it because she still felt upset over the fact that her sister hated her so much that she wanted to marry her off to a giant sluggish alien creature? Or maybe it was because she still felt bad about not being able to save Terra?

Maybe it was because she felt lonely?

Smashing his hands down on his desk, Robin began to bite his lip and grip the table under his fingertips roughly. There was nothing else he could do. It was Starfire's choice to tell him exactly what was going on. True, in a sense, he would be hiding too if he were in her position, that had been proven time and time again; when he became Slade's apprentice and Red X, for example. The only problem was that Robin couldn't just sit there and let her keept suffering in silence, and he knew that was exactly what she would do. She would ignore his warnings, and she would keep to herself. That was just Starfire's way; she always put everyone else above herself.

And he couldn't allow her to hurt herself anymore. Robin was smart enough to realize the forcing his presence around her would only make her draw furhter away, so he understood just how difficult this was going to be. Where should he start? What should he do?

Starfire sat in her room upon her bed, silently staring at her ceiling. Was it really that wrong, to cut herself? Was it really that wrong to try and help herself? She wasn't hurting anyone else in doing this, merely teaching herself how to deal with pain, building up her endurance just as Blackfire had taught her. Was it really all that bad? Sure she was doing it for all the wrong reasons, but that never really registered with her. She just did as her body commanded; it was instinct, habit, unintentional movement. And it helped her.

It was strange to think of it this way now, since Robin at seen the product of her futile attempt at emotional stability. Even though his eyes were hidden behind a mask, she could tell his reaction was that of hurt; it was the way his held her arm, the way he spoke to her. He was afraid for her, and she knew it. But what could she do? Starifre needed and craved this release, she depended upon it.

'It's an... addiction...'

Addiction. She had only recently learned what that word word meant, and she had to admit that was the best one to describe her situation; she was addicted to the rush that the pain brought her, to the adrenaline that pumped throughout her body when she saw her blood. She supposed that this was why villians did what they did; the rush of doing something wrong, something that could get you in trouble, was so wonderful in it's notorious splendor that it enveloped you and refused to relent on it's grip. It was the same way for her; when that blade sliced across her skin, she felt more alive, more humane, more... natural. It was one of the few things she had in common with all the creatures on earth; she, like them, could bleed red. She was no different than them in that aspect, and it brought her comfort to know that. They may not be the same by nature, but internally, they were identical.

The more she thought about it, the more unintelligent it sounded, even as the logic of it hit deeply in her heart. Starfire knew, deep down, that she really wanted to stop. But old habits, especially bad habits, are hard to break, and this one was no exception to that golden rule. Treat yourself how you would wish to be treated yourself; could that be used in reverse? Treat yourself as you would treat others? All these philosophies and logic questions were confusing to Starfire; she was still learning all the customs and the language of earth-- her inability to be at the same point as her friends sometimes led her back to the same blade that was haunting her thoughts now. It made her feel better about her lack of earth intellect. She was by no means dumb, just behind and trying desperately to catch up.

Sometimes things just didn't make sense.

"Hey Star, are you hungry? I made Tofu Casserole, stuffed with tofu-y goodness!" Beastboy called from outside her door.

She smiled lightly to herself; Beastboy always lightened the mood. "I am not ravenous at the moment."

"Oh well, more for me! Hey Cy..."

The following argument over 'tofu and real meat' was muffled by her thick doorway. That was okay with her though; at the moment she didn't feel like playing the peace keeper. Part of her wanted to run and apologize to Robin for lying, but the more stubborn side told her to stay rooted. It was her choice, her life, her privacy, and her emotions. She should never apologize for what she felt, for that in the end would only be another lie added onto others. There were already so many optimistic lies covering vicious truths that another could interrupt the delicate balance that was already threatened. Situations like these were always the hardest to deal with.

"But we will all learn from our mistakes... right?" she stated aloud to herself, desperately pulling her knees up agaisnt her chest. "Everyone learns from their mistakes..."

There was a knock on her door, and it sounded very unenthusiastic. Starfire's heart race quickened; who was at her door now?

"Starfire... um... can I come in for a minute?"

It was Robin.

She wasn't sure at first of what she should say to him. Did she really want Robin to come in and see her like this? Unbeknowenst to her, Starfire had began to cry over the course of time that had transpired since Robin left the first time, and she knew he hated seeing her cry. Should she ask him to wait or tell him no? She relented and allowed her feet to hang off the edge of her bed, turning her face down toward the floor.

"Okay."

The door opened, illuminating Starfire's otherwise darkened room. Robin walked inside, making sure the door closed securely behind him. None of the other Titans needed to hear what he had to say to her, especially if more about her situation and the scars came out into the open. He understood that Starfire would want to keep most of this a secret, at least as long as she could, because for the most part it was no one else's business. No one was in the place to save her from herself; everyone fell into ruts like this, and if they ever said they didn't, then they were lying. Maybe they weren't as severe as this one, but they still did at somet point. Robin knew it wasn't his job to change her mind on cutting... but he was going to try. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but he would before she destroyed her life and herself. Starfire simply meant too much.

"What do you need to tell me about, Robin?" she asked, lifting her head slowly.

"You've been crying." he pointed out.

Starfire new better than to try and get herself out of this one; she was stuck. "Yes, but I am... contented now."

He turned, looking around for a light switch. "Can I turn the lights on... it's a little too dark in here."

A nod was his response, and soon the bright lights that normally brightened the room were on. At first, neither one said a word; they just looked at each other, seemingly sizing one another up as if they were an opponent to battle. This was, in a way, a battle in itself; but who was going to make the first strike, say the first thing? Would it hurt, or would it only sting?

"I came to tell you... I'm sorry for how I reacted. It was kind of brash." Robin stated. "But you have to understand that I'm worried about you. I don't want anything to hurt you, even if you are the one hurting yourself."

"Is it really... that bad?"

"Is what that bad?"

She didn't respond, simply turned her gaze back down toward the floor. Too much had already been said; she couldn't risk saying anymore. They existed there in the uncomfortable silence, pulling further away and closer together all at once. There were so many levels left for them to embark upon, so many things they both needed to understand. Robin took the first move step in helping save Starfire from herself; she still hadn't admitted that she had a problem, but she had come close.

"I won't tell anyone. I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong, but even if you do I won't let the others know. Just... if something happens, come to me."

Starfire stood, and gave him a brief, heartfelt hug.

Author's Notes: Okay. Uh.... I really HOPE I'm not moving the plot along too quickly. I just have some stuff I want to have happen, you know what I mean? I know I haven't focused on the other characters, but I hope to get around to doing that too before too long. Leave me feedback on this, please! It's greatly appreciated!

meangreenteentitan: And the thing is, it isn't fun to deal with people who hurt themselves, I know from experience. It never IS fun to deal with those kind of people. Thank you for your compliments, though, they really made me feel good!

ccabello: I planned on it.

D-I-WaRrIa: This is my first TEEN TITANS story. I've writen a lot of Rurouni Kenshin stuff, a little Inuyasha, and a bit of original stuff. And you are welcome for me reviewing to your story. I do aim to please afterall. But I think I have to blame my plot ability on basing stories off of my own experiences, and then the grammer thing is because all I ever really do IS write. I have no life, lol.

Rekka's Angel: I'm glad you like it so much! And it's good that you agree with me that people can't be happy all the time. It's IMPOSSIBLE.

solodancer789: Thank you!

SweetEmotion6String: Thanks for the comments! I'm glad you liked it so much.

S. Giovanni: Thank you so much for your compliments!! :: blushes :: I re-read the chapter AGAIN and saw a few errors, but I guess that over all I did do a pretty good job. I'm glad you liked it so much. It makes me feel good!!

clueless90: Well.......... I'm sorry you dont' like the plot, but don't worry. I'm only using the 'cutting' as a way to start the story off, Starfire won't be cutting herself the entire time. It's kinda a ploy that will come in and out. There's more to the plot than that.

secret: I'm glad you like it!

Rochelleteentitan: LOL, hunt me DOWN? :: is slightly frightened :: It's been A LONG TIME since I've had THAT threat thrown at me, lol! Ah, how I've missed it........

Inferna: No worries, I PLANNED on explaining why Starfire started. Somewhere in here. I mentioned a few reasons, I just didn't go into detail. I know it's a weird take on her, and I'm sure if she were a real person she would be the complete opposite, but this plot had been FORMING in my head forever and I really needed to get it out somehow. I just chose her.

tiffany: I'm very happy you enjoyed it!

PixieGirl2009: LOL, Fortune cookie? Well, you are right, we DON'T know what Starfire does off screen, which is one of the reasons why I chose this particular plot. l really hope I'm not offending anyone..........

deathlioness: I'm glad you like, and I hope updated fast enough for you!