Author's Notes: Wow!! Forty-nine reviews!! That's like a ton! I'm sure a lot of you are like 'uh...... yeah right......... you can get more.........' but still, I'm VERY happy! It's been a long time since I've opened my inbox and gotten like 7 messages, most of which were reviews! I'm a very happy young authoress! So, lets see how this chapter goes, I know a lot of you weren't expecting a cliffhanger. But allow me to forwarn you-- I am notorious for them, and my saying is as follows: Cliffhangers are good as long as you don't fall over the edge. So be expecting a few more. If I don't leave you with them, then you'll never stay addicted to the story!!! And this chapter is dedicated to Inferna for a poem she sent to me. I loved it very much and it helped with the inspiration for this chapter. I also wrote my own short poem, and here it is:

Do you ever feel the tears

Fighting through your eyes

As you sit there and you stare

Pretending your always alright

Masking your feelings

And bottling your pain

Internally for enternity you cry

Secretly wishing people weren't so blind

Deep within the jealously builds

Leaving with the blood from your veins

Tearing away the poison they spread

From the the tears you couldn't shed.

Blade of Secrets

Chapter 5- Secret Dissipation

Starfire reluctantly decided not to remain within her room after forcing Robin out; it would only make him worry more. After donning fresh bandages and a clean pair of gloves, she had entered the halls with the same smile she usually wore, the identical facade that she used to get through all her sticky situations, all the trials of her life, always masking the same bloody truth. But right now, Starfire had made it a goal to forget about her razor slicing habits and do something that was usually expected of her. She rounded the corner toward Terra's room, awaiting the whoosh sound that would signal the opening of her door. There was a tense atmosphere within the room, and not surprisingly, Starfire found Beast Boy huddled close to Terra, watching over her like a hawk. It was almost as if he hadn't heard her come in; he was so focused on Terra that he was oblivious to all his surroundings.

"How is our friend, Beast Boy?" she questioned, holding her hands in front of herself and intertwining her fingers.

Beast Boy looked up toward her. "She's alive."

"And this is... good." Starfire stated, smiling lightly. "I am sure Terra will be okay!"

"She will be. There is no doubt." came his gruff response. "Terra's been through enough to be capable of overcoming this."

She frowned. "Please do not sound so sad. If you would like, I could make 'Pudding of Sadness' again to help you..."

"No!"

"Are you sure?"

Beast Boy sighed. "Yeah, I'm fine. Besides, that pudding of yours was nasty."

Starfire smiled. "It was meant to taste horrendous."

"What do you think is going to happen now that Slade came back?" Beast Boy asked. "Do you think Terra will stay with us this time?"

That had not been a question Starfire was anticipating. "I believe Terra will stay this time. She knows this is where she belongs. As for Slade... I am not so sure."

There was a long silence; neither titan saw the need to speak. Not much else seemed important enough to infiltrate the tension in the room; if Beast Boy was not trying to crack jokes, then you knew that it was not the time to say something. Starfire had to admit though, Terra did look a ton better since falling the door and into the titan's home. The blood had been washed away, each cut had been carefully treated and bandaged, and the machines that would have normally been connected to her were no where in sight. This helped raise the bar of hope further up on its ladder, and washed away some of the guilt and grief that had overtaken Starfire initially. Contented with what little she had managed to learn, she left Beast Boy and Terra alone; she no longer needed to infringe upon their overdue reunion.

Travelling light back toward her room, Starfire floated underneath her blankets and into a restless sleep, torment with visions of distruction she could never explain outwardly.

Robin had no more doubts now. Starfire was a cutter. The razorblade had been sitting right there, she'd gone rigid and demanded his departure. There was no longer a question, it was all truth. He had to do something about it. How could he hide Starfire away from Slade knowing that there was more danger within her own being than from Slade himself? But, he knew he was only overlooking the truth; he didn't want to Starfire to stop just because of the danger. It scared him, in more ways than he could ever possibly hope to explain. It hurt him to know she felt that way, and even more to realize there was so much about her that he could never understand, that she kept hidden. Hadn't Starfire always been his best friend? Hadn't they always shared everything together?

How long had she been doing it?

Had he not been as strong and stubborn as he was, Robin would have cried.

Nothing made sense anymore. What was he supposed to focus on? Starfire's life ...or her safety?

Author's Notes: Oh my god. This chapter is overdue, but with good reason-- I had WRITERS BLOCK. Yes, writers block. How stupid can I get? LOL, I'm sorry to all of you who reviewed and waited. Sometimes writers block attacks and doesn't let go. That's when I need to kill. Yes indeed. Also, because of how many reviews I get, I can only respond to the reviews submitted to the MOST RECENT chapter. Sorry. ; Also, I know IT WAS SHORT. You can PLAN on having the next chapter MUCH LONGER. I was a little confused with ideas, but I know how I'm starting the next chapter so it SHOULD be better. Please, don't kill me!

TanukiGirl22: I'm glad your getting into this. I know this is something your either gonna like or your gonna hate. Why I write for controversy, I'll never understand myself.

solodancer789: I will!

babowonsuni: When will Starfire admit that she's cutting? ........... hmm. I'm not sure. I'm guessing within the next few chapters, maybe.

Nightbolts101: Another rambling review. Lovelyful! I also saw that you mentioned me on your author's page-- thank you much! I actually do skim through those, don't know why, I just do. I guess I'm just looking for ideas, no? LOL, no worries! I tend to sound like a lot of people! I love getting to know people through this, it's so much fun. You meet more people like yourself this way! Why did I dedicate the last chapter to you? Because I could. Why not? Your cool! How old are you? Hmmm.......... I'm taking that that's a trick question,so I'm gonna take a guess and say 12 or 13............... you'll have to let me know if I am right or not. I turn 17 in January......... I'm getting old, lol! I don't plan on discontinuing this story. I don't want 'horribly horrible' things to happen to me. that would be scary. I love to write too. It is WORTH the pain and torture you put yourself through. Acutally, speaking of writing, i need to finish my Creative Writing story and my notes for English. I get a billion on a scale of 1-10? Awesomeness!! I didn't know i was THAT great! Thank you! LOL!

ccabello: I hope I wrote this soon enough....

Inferna: yeah, I know that he would know alot of stuff from Terra, but I also ASSUMED that since they knew the information was out there, they would have changed a lot of things from how they were before for protection reasons. I don't want Raven to be a cutter as well, I want this to be a problem unique to Starfire, but I think Raven is going to have figured it out BECAUSE of the meditation they did, like their aura's melded and she accidently saw into the more tormented part of Starfire. That's my thoughts, but I dunno. And I did love your poem. I wanted to use it in the story, but it did influence me. I'm trying to make this story as original to my own writing style as I possibly can.

CuteAlienGirl: OO Wow.... you certainly have read my story quite a few times haven't you? I'm actually very surprised. I didn't know people, or you, liked it that much. I may try to read some of your work when I am less stressed and have less to do, we shall see.

blackcoat-245: Of course he hit a nerve with Starfire. She doesn't want anyone to know she's a cutter.

racoongirl: I hope I updated soon enough!

LikePride: I did!

Starfire Of Tamaran: LOL, cliffhangers are FUN! They always have been! I love them, and I LOVE reading them. I know, I'm strange. I wouldn't want you to go insane, so heres your update............. but I think insanity is a good state of mind.

Rekka's Angel: I'm glad you like the pace of the story. It's getting increasingly difficult to just churn out chapter after chapter! But yes, Slade will have a trick up his sleeve, I just haven't exactly DECIDED what it's gonna be.

Faye: Wow, thanks a lot for your comments!! I'm glad you liked it so much! This would make for some intersting Teen Titans episodes, wouldn't it?

sarah the slayer: LOL, thank you and I will try!