Olivia POV:
I'm Manhattan born to and raised by my teenage mother. Serena was 19 when I was born and for as far back as I can remember it's always been just us.
I constantly asked why I didn't have a dad. Did he not love us? Did he even know about me? And as always my mother would tell me that she'd explain when I was older.
Then again she said that when she could speak coherently.
Not once did my mother come home at night totally sober, usually she stumbled in to our cramped apartment late at night. Sometimes she brought a barmate home, they'd come in pressed against each other not caring that I was there.
I can't count the times I'd get a black eye from having the crap kicked out of me.
Quickly, I learned to care for myself and for her; I cared for us both.
Over the years I kept on asking about my dad, until one day my mother arrived home, sober for the first time in almost a month and we went out. She treated me to dinner at an upscale restaurant and then we walked around Central Park and rode in a horse-drawn carriage.
I made her tell me what was really going on, because I knew something was up; she hadn't had even a sip of anything alcoholic since we started the evening.
We sat on a bench after the carriage ride and Serena put her arm around me pulling me closer than we'd been in quite sometime. She said she felt I was old enough to know the truth about my father. Silence faded in then.
I waited.
A single tear slipped down her cheek and I grew alarmed.
She told me, flat out, 'The man who is your father raped me, that's how you came to be'.
My 13 year old body tensed and I wrenched myself from her grip. Then I ran.
My mother didn't follow.
Out of breath when I came to the lake I stopped and the tears came.
I was a child borne from a violent act; I was a child of rape.
From that realization I began to understand why my mother was drunk on a daily basis. She was terrible at handling what had happened to her. What's more is that she had a living, breathing reminder of it every single day. Often I didn't hear I love you, now I knew why.
It was then that I began to close myself off from everyone and crawl deep inside myself when comfort was needed.
Serena drank more and more, she was around less and less.
School was both my refuge and my prison. Kid's taunted me because my mother had shown up once, drunk off of her ass, and yelling for me.
Why CPS never got involved, I'll never know.
Anger. Guilt. Hurt.
I used those feelings as a shield against anyone. Mostly I focused my energies on getting strong, I knew what I wanted to do.
No one bothered with me, so I bothered with no one.
So often I wanted to end it all... but I knew that that would be taking the easy way out. It would mean being my mother. I refused to accept that.
Always in defense mode I moved through high school and college until I got into the police academy where my character rocketed me towards where I am now.
It took my partner's advice and neverending support to get me here.
My mom died of her own disease, she was drunk, she fell down some subway stairs. I don't know if I've ever dealt with any of the emotions I've buried for so many years...
But I do not want you to go through life as I have... that's why I'm doing this, that's why I'm here...
The first rays of dawn were peeking from below the city skyline. Liv was tired, she'd had another large mug of coffee.
And she'd just opened up herself to a stranger, a child.