Thank you!
Struggles of a Vampire
She raised her head, her brown eyes glazed over with lust, as she watched me intensely. Her brown curls spilled over her shoulders as she stood motionless, waiting for me to claim her, to take her away from the brightness of the sun and into the darkness of the night. Her puckered lips were full and innocent, free from any sort of swelling; her ivory skin as fair as an angel donned her with an alluring glow.
An angel, I thought to myself. If demons were to have angels she would definitely be mine. But demons were foul, unearthly creatures and were not allowed to have angels of their own.
No, she was an angel of the light as I a devil of the dark; she was not mine unless I chose to take her and make her mine.
And boy did I want her with an endless amount of passion, of lust filling my very breath. She stood before me, bathed in her white night gown, the swell of her breasts heaving with every breath she absorbed. She glowed like an angel would, as the candle light surrounding her filtered through the lose strands of hair that escaped their bindings, from the thin, lacy fabrics that hardly covered a thing; the light encased her body and showed me a woman that was no more guilty than a babe just being born into the atmosphere.
But could I take her and condemn her? Could I turn her against her beliefs and lead her into Hell? Could I brandish some one so pure and so righteous? I knew it was ungodly of me for even contemplating the thought; but with her so near my very breath came in harsh gulps.
"Angel?" She called to me, her sweet voice filled with the innocence like that of a child. Her brows creased together as she frowned up at me, wondering what was wrong. Dear God how I wished I could wrap my arms around her lithe form and hold her to me; how I wished I could embrace her and watch the world go by as we died together.
But I would never die and she would not live on. The reminder of my life doomed to be forever damned stabbed me like a stake in the heart and it hurt just the same. While she would bathe in glory with the love of her beloved count I would remain in the shadows, envying him for his very life. She would soar high above the clouds while I stay put on the grounds below. She would walk on the very clouds that were above the ceiling of my lair while I would be forced to live beneath the Earth's surface, feeding off of little mice and the likes.
No. I could never condemn her to a life with me. Although I know I could give her that release and make her feel alive, to let her know that she wasn't just some average, lovely woman with the most elegant features man would ever know; no, I would let her see how she is a Goddess, a beauty no woman would dare have the right to consume for themselves. Her beauty would be radiant, shining off her form in strands of gold and silver, white and cream. She would shine like no other woman had ever shined before. While life carried on I would show her a world like that of no other, where angels existed in their glory and love. I would show her a romance no ordinary man could ever show; I would give her passion and lust with the most tender of all my abilities, treating her as if she were no more than a golden feather soaring through the skies.
No, she would not want to join me if gaining all of that meant giving up what she knew now. She would not want to give up her love of the daylight, her passion for solid foods, and her love for that count; she loved the count as much as I loved imagining her in my arms at night. She would never accept my offer; however, I can still win her over. I could claim her right now and take her away from what she knew of life. I could show her everything she had ever wanted and spoil her with gifts.
But I could never touch that innocent heart of hers. I won't!
"Angel?" She called again, her voice, that sweet tone, as if honey were being poured over a warm biscuit. Her lips parted as if to speak but no words had come out of her mouth. Her brows remained creased in their frown as she looked at me with fright, terrified as if I would send her away.
Never, I told myself. Never would I send her away from me. She was too much for me to grasp, too much for me to want; I was aiming too high for the woman I wanted for the rest of eternity. But I couldn't aim any lower.
I was entranced to her like a victim of voodoo; I could never turn away from her and yet, I could never ask her to stay here with me, forever. She deserved love with the light of the day and all I could offer her would be the love with the darkness of the night.
"I can't," I breathed out before turning away. My shoulders sagged as my head hung. I closed my eyes, feeling the icy touch of pain grip my heart; I felt its fingers wrap so tightly and squeeze. I wasn't even sure if my heart were beating anymore.
"You can't what?" She had asked, concerned. Ah God, how her voice teased me; I knew I could easily grasp her and make her mine but I could never live with that guilt.
The guilt of ripping the wings from an angel to keep her with me.
"Please," I murmured, my voice breaking. "Please just leave me—leave me alone."
"No," she had returned. I turned to her then and furrowed my own brows at her. I stared at her with disbelief.
"I won't leave you, Angel. Never will I leave you."
"My dear," I groaned out, feeling the hunger slowly returning. Just hearing her voice speak was enchanting enough, making me pause in my very thought to think if she were about to express her disclosure and fly off.
"You don't know what you ask of me," I told her then, my own tone taking on more of a grumble. It was a challenge just to breathe near her and yet, she wanted me to stay with her.
"Look at me," she pleaded. "Please, look at me."
Ah God, I groaned inside. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you taunting me with your presence?
Unable to resist the urge, I turned to see her staring at me with concern in her eyes. I felt the love from her heart pouring out all around me and I felt a sudden sense of hope wash up within me. Could it be possible to take her and not condemn her?
No! I won't think of such things, I tell myself. She is an angel, not a creature of life for my touching, for my blessing.
"Dearest," I murmured as I stared into her glazed eyes, now on the brink of tears. She was about to shed tears for a vampire, a vampire that she knew the existence of. I knew it was wrong of me to have allowed her to follow me down to my lair but I couldn't resist her temptation; she had followed me like a dog to its master, begging for that one final bone. She had followed me like a child wanting just one more bedtime story.
Ah God, how she had followed me into the depths of the very Earth we lived upon!
"You… you don't know what you're getting yourself into, my dear." I warned her. "I am not like any other man."
"I know that but I don't care," she had shot back. I felt taken aback at that point and stared at her curiously. She stood before me with such dignity that I half expected this to have been a trap, that she had baited herself so her beloved count could find me out and stake me.
"I love you."
Those three words sent the shiver of ice into my heart and forced my body to shiver. She loved me; she loved a vampire. I should have turned her away, I should have sent her home at once, but I couldn't bring myself to do such a thing to her. She loved a vampire; a vampire who had lived for five hundred years prior.
"Why?" I breathed out, practically panting now. The pain had become practically unbearable. It was so hard to resist the urge to grasp her and sink my fangs into her awaiting neck; I could feel my teeth lengthen at just the thought of it and it was so hard to hold back. The urge was so tempting and she was so willing.
"Why?" I repeated myself, nearly out of breath now. My voice came as no more than a whisper as I stared into her strict gaze. She stared back at me with certainty, knowing what she was doing; she stood her ground and fought my urge to resist her, tearing down the very wall I built to protect this very thing from happening.
"I've loved you since the first night you came to me," she explained. "When you came to my bedside so many years ago; I've loved you since you sang me to sleep and protected me."
I breathed heavily as I struggled to remain standing. My knees were about to give away and my legs shook violently. Standing so near to her was unbearable; I could heart her blood flowing through her veins, hear her heart racing as it hammered against her ribcage. Ah God, how I could already taste her blood on my lips!
"I've never felt afraid, always knowing that you'll be there to protect me. I've never felt scared of the dark, always knowing that you'll be there to guide me."
"But you should," I spat back, forcing my words at her to sound like the venom of a snake on skin so fair. "I am not what you think—I am not an angel."
"But you are," she returned. I coughed now, barely able to sustain the urge to grasp her, fling her head to the side, and sink my teeth into her awaiting flesh. I licked my teeth as I imagined her groan of ecstasy coming from my piercing fangs.
"You are an angel," she told me. I felt my heart sink at the pout she gave me. "You're my angel."
And that I am, I told myself. I was her angel. When her parents had died and she was sent to the orphanage I was there watching; as she ran to the little chapel they had to cry to the alter, I was there watching. Ah God, I was even there as she had lost her way through the maze of halls for the facility section of the building; if not for my hand grasping hers, my soft voice telling her that I would take her to safety, she would have gotten lost and never found her way out.
I was her angel, her Guardian Angel. I was always there for her when she fought with her friends and ran away crying. I was always there for her when she prayed at night to her parents. I was there when her first lover had tried to tempt her with his charms; I was there with my sword, ready to pierce him but one glimpse of her innocent eyes had told me she could never see bloodshed to remain her innocent self.
And here I was, with her again, tempted to bite into her and claim her body for my own, for my taking. I was no better than that lover she once had who had used his charms against her, as I had always used my own.
"Please," she begged. "Please don't leave me."
If I were a normal human my ears wouldn't have picked up the nearly silent 'ever' coming from her puckered lips; but I was a vampire and my senses were magnified and, at the moment, driving me insane. I swallowed hard and choked out a command.
"Go—please, I beg of you."
"No Angel… I won't ever leave you; I want to be with you, always."
I winced at her words and felt compelled to make her wish come true. She reached out and grasped one of my hands, instantly sending me into a spiral of confusion, into a wave of nausea, and into the passion known as lust. She touched me, her warm touch against my cold skin; she wanted me to stay with her.
It would be so easy to make that happen, to turn on her right then and claim her, but it must not happen. I steered myself away from her pleas and cringed at the thought of biting her, forcing myself to dislike it despite my wanting.
"Please let me stay with you, Angel," she begged once more. "I'll do anything to stay with you forever."
Ah God, she was desperate!
"A-anything?" I choked out.
"Yes," she replied softly, almost a whisper. "Anything."
I took a deep breath and grumbled, "Very well."
So the vixen got her way after all. I swallowed hard and felt my senses picking back up. I was about to get just what I have been resisting the urge to do; I was just about to claim her. I was going to rip the wings of an angel and force her into darkness. I was going to disgrace the Gods of Heaven by bringing an innocent child of theirs into Hell; I would never be forgiven for this.
And part of me no longer cared if I was. A part of me no longer cared if I were to suddenly grab her and sink my teeth into her neck; I no longer cared if that loving count she had would be missing her and assuming her dead, to tell the world that she was no more. And in fact she wasn't, not to them, at least; she would be mine for eternity and beyond.
I took a deep breath and turned to her just then, both of my hands lashing out and gripping her shoulders immensely. I neared her closely, pressing her body against mine. She gasped as she felt my desire press against her belly, felt my teeth graze her neck, my breath warm on her skin. I heard her heart beat faster and her veins pulsing; I smelled her desires become as strong as my own.
"Are you sure about this?" I murmured into her ear, asking her with lust filling my every thought. She didn't say a word, but merely nodded her head.
"Very well," I had groaned. With a sharp grunt I gripped her shoulders and parted my lips. I wanted to go easy and take her gently but, dear God how this woman had tempted me!
And with the final thought of taking an innocent soul away from the world, I plunged into her neck, sunk my teeth into her flowing veins, and ripped away the wings of an angel.