Chapter 1

Reflection

After what seemed like an eternal journey, I have found the perfect spot to rest.

The twin suns of Tatooine are setting, and I rest myself near some boulders and admire the view. Pulling my robe closer around me, I take a moment to stretch my legs.

...almost looks like the sky is on fire.

Anakin... So, my thoughts trail back to you once more.

I sigh rather deeply, the familiar ache in my heart returning. I couldn't help but to think about the boy that turned into a man. A man, without sorrow or regret, turned on me...on the Order...on his wife...and became something I could not even see coming. I had no idea that the boy I raised into a man would be the one to bring death and destruction to all life around him.

To cause choas.

To cause confusion.

To cause...

My breath caught in my throat. A new realization struck. The feeling was so powerful, my vision couldn't take in the beauty of dusk. Something that didn't hit me before, has now struck home.

The Younglings. Anakin killed the Younglings.

The very future of the Order...destroyed.

Many of them looked up to him, even admired him. Many wanted to become him. Others promised that when old enough, he would choose one of them to be his apprentice. Now they were all gone. The hope of future Jedi dies with them.

Anakin... Did you not feel remorse before you struck them down? Did you not gaze into their eyes and see the compassion they had to offer you? Did you not think that for a moment, before you struck down the first, to consider that you might be striking down your own child?

No. I didn't think so. If he was so much as to have any logic left in him, he would have thought that. He wouldn't have struck down the first and continued his campaign of slaughter. Being there with Master Yoda, all those bodies---all potential gone---was enough proof that Anakin will do whatever it took to gain what he wanted.

Power.

Control.

Absolute loyalty.

Something I know I failed to teach. A lesson that seemed forbidden in his mind. Power and the lust for more so, was something I could not teach him to forget---to ignore. I have failed him.

I have failed him.

I lean against the nearest boulder. The weight of this impossible burden taking its toll. So this was what it was like for a parent to fail in raising his only child. His only son. For a brother to fail when he is left to help raise his younger brother.

Somewhere along the way, I have failed.

When was it? I have already torn my heart in two. Must I do it again? No, Obi-Wan. Rest here and think about the task at hand. Your job, your mission, is to look after young Luke Skywalker. Son to Anakin Skywalker...possible threat to Lord Darth Vader.

Darth Vader.

Anakin's new assumed name. What did it mean, really? I sigh. I am getting too old to worry about the nonsense of a name change. Master Yoda was right; Anakin is gone and now Darth Vader is all that remains.

The ache in my heart has not stopped hurting. Every beat that is felt only feeds the hurt that will continue to haunt me for the rest of my life. I gaze back out to the twin suns. By now, the bottom one is ready to disappear.

I am at a loss for words.

"Why could I not save him?" My voice sounded drained of life. "Why could I not stop him? Where did I fail him?"

I slump down to the ground as my knees give way. I know that I must get back up and resume my journey of finding that new place to call home. That desolute place to claim as my solitary sanctuary. Yet I could not find the strength to stand back up. I could only give in to fatigue from an aching heart.

Slowly I close my eyes. The night wind brushing against my face. Perhaps I shall rest here for the night. My journey will continue tomorrow.

"Where did I fail you, Anakin..."

The Force begins to surge. Gently it surrounds me. Something about it calmed my nerves and slowed my bleeding heart. I melt into it, welcoming its warming embrace...like as if something or someone was beside me. Craddling me.

Then a voice spoke. Without even my needing to reach out and call, the Force spoke.

"No more then I felt as if I had failed you."

My heart seemed to stop. My lungs closed up. I quickly turn my head to the speaking, ghostly figure. I couldn't believe my eyes.

"Qui-Gon!"