Chapter 6
I didn't mention that evening to anyone. It was too… intimate? Maybe that's the wrong word to use but it seems to fit here.
On the Friday, after singing I met Raoul to go to the cinema. There was a film on that we both quite wanted to see. We settled into our seats as the previews played. Raoul passed me a bucket of popcorn and I popped a piece into my mouth. Raoul smiled,
"I love watching you eat."
"Is that why you keep hanging around at mealtimes? I thought you just liked my cooking!" I teased. He laughed.
"I do love your cooking. I just love you more." I smiled and kissed him. He took my hand in his, running his fingers over the surface. It tickled slightly and I pulled a face. He kissed the hand and then my lips again.
"This is nice. Just the two of us." He whispered. I nodded in agreement.
"I know what you mean." I whispered, settling down as the movie started.
We went to the shop after the film. They always stay open late on Fridays. Raoul didn't ask what I wanted but he ordered me a double chocolate ice cream with fudge sauce and rainbow sprinkles. My favourite. I smiled as he handed it to me.
"Am I that predictable?"
"Christine, we've been going out for over two years now. I'm going to know stuff about you. Like your favourite ice cream." He laughed. I eyed him with a grin.
"OK… favourite drink?"
"Lemonade with freshly squeezed orange juice. Usually with two ice cubes."
"Favourite food?"
"Pancakes with lemon juice and sugar."
"Favourite animal?"
"Siberian Tiger." He said confidently. I laughed and pressed on.
"Favourite chocolate?"
"Coffee flavoured."
"Favourite colour?"
"Sky blue."
"OK, that's a little creepy." I told him. Raoul laughed.
"Your ice cream's melting."
I licked the dripping dessert and closed me eyes.
"Yum. You are the best boyfriend ever."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Mr Lavonne never bought me ice-cream." I opened an eye and giggled at his shocked reaction. He realised I was teasing him and poked me in the ribs, making me jump.
"Not fair, Christine!"
"Couldn't help it. You're so sweet when you're horrified." I explained. Raoul laughed and took my hand.
"Can we just forget that ever happened? My little paranoia moment."
"Sure. Oh, does that mean I can't tease you about it anymore?" Seeing his look, "OK, fine. Come on, my ice-cream's getting everywhere."
I got to the Manor on time the next morning. I looked around the door to the writing room but Erik wasn't here. Nor was he in the music room or the dining room. I checked the library but still no sign of him. He might be upstairs, but I didn't feel particularly comfortable with the prospect of wandering around the house until I found him, so I went down to the kitchen.
I looked through the door and smiled. Erik was sat at the kitchen table with a coffee cup and morning newspaper.
"Good morning." I said. He looked up in surprise.
"Christine. You're early."
"No, I'm on time." I said, looking at my watch. Erik glanced at the kitchen clock and I couldn't help laughing.
"You didn't put the clock forward, did you?" I took down the clock and put it to its correct time. Erik seemed slightly embarrassed.
"I forgot about the time change."
"Don worry about it. Have you had breakfast yet? I can make something, I haven't eaten yet." I said, going to the fridge.
Scrambled eggs seemed the easiest option. Erik watched without speaking as I cracked the eggs and mixed them with milk. I hummed as I did so.
"You're in a good mood." He commented. I smiled.
"And why shouldn't I be?"
"I have no idea, Christine, I'm not a mind reader." He said irritably. I laughed.
"It's a beautiful Saturday morning, I had a good nights sleep, I saw a great film with Raoul last night and now I get eggs. Give me one reason to be unhappy." I said. Erik raised an eyebrow at my cheerful disposition and returned to his newspaper.
"What film?" Erik asked as we ate breakfast. I looked up.
"Beg your pardon?"
"What film did you see with…?"
"Raoul. Oh, it was an action film. Very cool. But there's only so much shooting and exploding you can watch after a while. It got a bit boring by the end." I said, sipping tea. Erik ate some eggs and then said,
"Raoul is your-?"
"Boyfriend. For… two and a half years it must be by now." I said, thinking about it. It seemed such a long time but it had flown past. I took out my bike keys and showed him one of the key rings. It was a photograph in a plastic case.
"That's Raoul, and the girl on my other side is Meg. She's my best friend. I took this last year, when I got my bike."
It was a nice picture. I sat in the middle. Raoul was on my right, his long dark hair tied back and his arm around my shoulders. Meg was smiling brightly, her blonde hair shining. Erik examined the faces and then returned the keys to me, standing up. I got to my feet as well.
"I'll start tidying then. I'm going to do the Dining Room today, so do you mind eating in the writing room?"
"Actually… I'll take lunch in here." He said, almost awkwardly. I smiled.
"OK, no problem."
He disappeared upstairs as I fetched the cleaning things. Erik Lavonne was a confusing man. On Wednesday, when he made me sing like that it had felt like… like he was everything. As if the whole world revolved around us and that sound. He had been so close to me and so peaceful. And then we sat together at breakfast and he was awkward and halting in his manners. He had a natural grace and elegance and it showed. But it showed most when he made music.
The Dining Room was quite simple to clean. The blue and silver walls needed wiping and the enormous windows took ages to clean but the only main piece of furniture was the long wooden table. I collected a polishing spray and cloth and began to work on it, rubbing in smalls circles until the wood gleamed. After vacuuming the carpet, all I had to do was put everything back in its rightful place.
Now, that sounded easy, but once I'd finished that, stopping to take Erik his tea, it was lunchtime. I looked around the room and allowed myself a contented smile. It looked pretty good. My long hair was tied into a ponytail while I cleaned but I pulled the hair tie out, letting the curls fall around. I started back downstairs, carrying the cleaning equipment. Erik came out of the writing room whilst I was doing so and caught the mop and broom which were falling over. I grinned sheepishly.
"Thanks. I'll go and start lunch now."
He followed me downstairs. I put the things away, washed my hands and then went to the fridge.
"Do you want anything in particular?" I asked him.
"You may choose." He said, sitting at the table. I looked at the contents of the fridge.
"I'm not too hungry, so I'll just have sandwich." I said.
"I'll have a sandwich then." Erik said. I grinned, taking cold meats and vegetables out of the fridge, along with butter. I flicked on the CD player. I had left Norah Jones in and the song Come Away With Me started to play. I sang along under my breath as I sliced bread. Erik, for all of his musical genius, was extremely old fashioned and hated the idea of buying ready sliced bread. So I had bought freshly made stuff from the local bakers.
As I went back and forth, fetching things I knew Erik was watching me.
Come away where they can't tempt us with their lies
He started to spread slices of bread with butter as I cut the meat. I continued to sing the lyrics lightly. I passed him a plate of meat and he added it to the bread as I sliced tomato, cucumber and lettuce.
Come away with me and we'll kiss
On a mountaintop
He passed me my sandwich and I lifted a slice of bread to add mayonnaise as he added cucumber to his own.
Come away with me
And I'll never stop loving you
He poured drinks as I cut the sandwiches in half.
Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
Finally we sat at the table. I bit into my sandwich and let out an mmmm of satisfaction.
"That is a good sandwich." I said when I had swallowed. Erik arched his eyebrow.
"The simplest things can please you."
"The simplest things are often the best. Definitely when it comes to food, anyway. I mean, if I go to a big fancy restaurant I never know what to order. Give me a sandwich over that any day." I said. Erik considered this.
"Not in all cases though. Some things have to be complicated." He said. I nodded.
"Of course. But some things you just can't decide on. Like people. Sometimes it's nice to have an easy, mindless conversation with someone. And other times you want to feel a little more challenged. Then you seek out the company of someone who can keep you on edge and make you think."
We fell into silence, going over this in our minds. Eventually Erik said,
"I think that applies to both people and music."
"Music?"
"Yes. Sometimes simpler tunes are better. Other times you need to hear something that makes your imagination reel."
"I guess you're right. Think of Me is simpler. Something nice and relaxing. Maybe one day we can do something a little more complicated." I said, offering a smile. Erik nodded.
"Indeed. I assume you have finished the dining room?"
"I have."
"Then we shall start our lesson after lunch." We went back to eating. When we had finished I got up to clear the plates. To my surprise, Erik stood too, taking the plates to the sink.
"Erik, let me do that. It's my job. You're paying me to do it." I reminded him. Erik looked at me, a hint of amusement on his face.
"Christine, I am capable of cleaning a plate or two. As for your job, you have earned your money in cleaning those rooms."
I didn't quite understand this explanation but didn't object. Instead I got a dishcloth and dried the clean plates, placing them back in the cupboards.
"How long have you been living here?" I asked curiously. Erik didn't look up from the cleaning but replied,
"Eight years."
"What made you come here? I mean, we're a little out of the way, out here. No big cities for miles."
"Exactly. I don't particularly care for company. Or didn't. You are the only one I have found to be tolerable in a great many years."
"I'm flattered." I said, a hint of sarcasm in my voice.
After lunch we did not go straight to the music room as planned. I had opened the door to air out the dining room and had stopped to admire the gardens. Erik stood beside me and offered to show them to me.
There were flowers there that I had never seen before. And all of them were beautiful. My favourite was the rose garden. There were roses of every colour there, including black ones. I had never seen these before. I bent to admire them.
"Who cares for the gardens?" I asked Erik.
"There is an elderly couple who live near the hills. They come every other week to tend to the gardens. In return I let them live in their cottage." Erik replied. It was a beautiful autumn day. The sun beat down and I removed my jacket. I was only wearing jeans and a t-shirt but was still warm. I glanced at Erik, dressed entirely in black.
"Aren't you hot?"
"I don't feel the heat very much." He replied. I stopped to look at some more roses, red this time.
"These gardens are incredible. Mum would have loved them. She used to take care of our garden, at home, but Dad and I haven't exactly been taking care of it now. I don't have time really. And Dad…" I stopped, wondering why I was telling him all this. He nodded for to carry on, if I wished.
"Your father has changed, since the death of your mother?" He asked. I looked down at the roses.
"Yeah. He has. He goes to the doctors a lot. He has to take medicine. The doctor said its depression. Some days he'll be alright and others… he just locks himself in his room and plays the violin until his heart breaks again and he sleeps for days at a time. I take care of the house, and everything. It's not hard. It just feels like he doesn't care about anything half the time. Like he just wishes he was gone as well."
I didn't know why I was saying all of this. I hadn't even mentioned it to Raoul. But the gates were open now and I couldn't stop. I glared at the beautiful flowers, wanting to blame them for the misery Dad and I were experiencing.
"It's not fair. I'm only eighteen. I don't want to be stuck at home for the rest of my life because of them. Most days I don't mind taking care of him but others… I just feel so resentful, to both of them. Her for dying and him for giving up."
Tears blurred my vision and one rolled down my cheek but I didn't brush it away. I had my back to Erik so he couldn't see.
"It's too hard. It's just too hard for me. Raoul and Meg try to help me, but they can't. I dread going home half of the time because I don't know how Dad will be if I do. If he'll be almost back to normal or if he'll be sat on the sofa, crying over a picture of Mum. I miss her too, but I haven't let everything fall apart! He's supposed to be taking care of me, not the other way around! It's not fair!"
My voice broke and I let out a shuddering breath. I turned abruptly and found Erik standing right behind me. I couldn't look him in the eye. Instead I leant forward, putting my head on his chest and weeping. He didn't say anything. He just held me.
After a few minutes I stepped back.
"I'm… I'm sorry…" I blubbered, wiping furiously at my streaming eyes. Erik shook his head.
"Don't be. But I hope you can consider the Manor an escape from that from now on. When you come through those gates, you can leave everything behind. Even if it is just for a short time." I smiled tearfully.
"If I did that, you'd never get rid of me. I'd be here forever." He didn't reply. Instead he reached past me and picked a red rose. He handed it to me and said,
"Let us go to the music room."
I stared after him as he went. Then I looked down at the rose, a feeling of guilt rising in my chest.
I'd be here forever…
And just then I wanted to be.