Chapter 8

It's not very good of me to say this but I was relieved Raoul was gone. It wasn't so much a case of Absence makes the heart grow fonder as absence makes the guilty person feel relieved.

And even if Raoul had been there, I wouldn't have been paying much attention to him. Because something happened. Not something good.

It was on the Sunday that it happened. I was sitting with Erik in the kitchen when I heard my mobile phone go off. No one ever rang my mobile. I stared at the bag for a moment and then jumped up to answer it.

"Hello."

"Hello, this is Lilly Matthews from the hospital. Is this Christine Daae?"

"Yeah…"

"Is Charles Daae your father?"

"Yes. What's happened?" I said, my heart freezing. Erik watched me carefully.

"Your father was admitted to the emergency unit about an hour ago. He was hit by a car. We need a relative to sign some forms. Can you get here?"

I dropped the phone. I was shaking so hard I couldn't grip it. Erik swooped down and seized the phone.

"Hello? Yes, she's just had to sit down… I see. She'll be there as soon as possible." He hung up. I couldn't move. I was trembling all over. Erik took my hand and pulled me up.

"Come on. I'm taking you to the hospital."

At the time I was in too much shock to even realise what he said. That he was leaving the grounds of the Manor for me. None of that sunk in. He was pulling me by the hand, up the stairs of the kitchen into the entrance hall, through a door I hadn't been through before into a spacious garage. I saw a car was there and looked as if it hadn't been driven in ages. But he pushed me into the seat and strapped me in. Then he went to the other side, climbed in and started it up.

Before I knew what was going on we were driving towards the next town, where the hospital was. Erik has his hood pulled up over his head as we entered the reception. By this time I had just about recovered my senses. I asked the receptionist where Dad was and she spoke into a phone. A nurse fetched me and Erik, leading us into a private room with a screen. A doctor stood to greet me, shaking our hands.

"I'm Doctor Webber. Miss Daae, I'm going to need to talk to you for a moment." He looked at Erik. I shook my head.

"He can stay."

"Very well. Miss Daae, you are aware of your father's condition."

"The depression?"

"Exactly. And he has been taking medication for this for some time now, correct?"

"Yes. You know this, why are you asking me?" I asked, genuinely confused. Doctor Webber looked at me seriously.

"Are you sure he has been taking his medicine?"

"Of course. What are you talking about?"

"I'm asking because when your father was admitted to the hospital we discovered a large amount of his prescribed drug in his system. Until that drug has passed through, in about twelve hours, we are unable to treat him effectively."

I stared at him.

"You mean… an overdose?"

"We don't know if it was intentional or not. You don't know anything about it?"

"No… I was at work when you called… he tried to…"

My head started spin. I felt Erik reach out to steady me. I blinked up at the doctor.

"Is he going to be OK!"

"I'm afraid it's too early to tell. While the injuries from the car accident weren't too severe, the shock combined with the drug could cause massive problems. Especially since we can't yet administer any treatment."

"How did he get hit by the car?" I asked. The doctor looked down at his clipboard.

"I believe that, under the influences of his medicine, he left the house. Probably intending to do something but not realising how quickly the drugs would set in. He was driving at the time. I dread to think what could have happened. He was lucky to get away this lightly."

I took a deep breath.

"Can I see him?" Doctor Webber nodded at a screen. I looked up at Erik, nodded and stepped towards the screen alone. I slipped around the edge and froze as I saw my father.

He lay on the bed, wrapped in sterile white blankets. A white cast was on his left arm and his left leg was slung up by a ceiling rack. There was too much white. The bed, the casts, the bandages and his skin. So pale… But as I stepped forward fearfully his eyes opened. I stared at his battered, bruised face and felt tears of relief, misery and rage well up.

"Dad… Daddy…" I whispered, kneeling by the bed. He looked at me and then closed his eyes. At first I thought he was sleeping but tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. I kissed his cheeks again and again, unable to think that I might have lost him, unable to believe that I might have been alone.

"My Daddy…" I sobbed, pressing my forehead against his left temple. He tried to talk but I shushed him.

"Don't. Not yet. I almost lost you. Don't speak yet." I whispered.

He closed his eyes and within a few moments his breathing became regular, showing that he was asleep. I got up and pushed back the screen. It was just Erik now, the doctor must have left. Erik looked at me.

"Are you alright?"

"He… he tried to leave me, Erik. He almost left me." I whispered. Erik sat me down on one of the chairs. My head hurt terribly and I was having trouble breathing. Eventually I managed to say,

"If you want to leave-"

"No. I'm not leaving you." He said, taking the seat next to me. I buried my head in his shoulder and found that I had no more tears. Maybe it was shock or maybe it was just exhaustion but either way I fell asleep, with Erik holding my hand and his arm around my shoulder.

The next 24 hours were the most stressful I have ever experienced. I didn't leave the room, even though Dad was asleep most of the time. Erik stayed too. I was more grateful to him than I could ever say. He was strong, just when I needed someone to be strong.

Meg arrived the next morning. She had had an urgent message from Raoul.

"He's been trying to call you all night, but said there was no answer. I went to your house but no one was there. A neighbour said she'd seen the ambulance take your Dad." She said. I hugged her tightly.

"Thanks for coming, Meg."

"No problem, Christine. What are best friends for?" She glanced over at Dad and then back at me.

"Do you want me to call Raoul for you?"

"Would you? I don't want to leave Dad."

"I'll go do it now."

She turned as the door opened and Erik came in with two cups of coffee. Meg stared at him.

"Who-?"

"Meg, this is Erik Lavonne. My boss."

"Of course. It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr Lavonne." Meg said, holding out her hand. Erik shook it and handed us the coffees.

"So has he been treated yet?" Meg asked as we all sat down. I nodded.

"Last night, once they were sure the drugs had all passed through. It's still a bit touch-and-go at the moment."

"Do you know why he did it?" Meg asked hesitantly. I looked over at the sleeping figure of my father and shook my head.

"No. I guess the counselling sessions weren't as effective as we thought they were. I guess… I think it all just got to be too much for him."

I was furious with him, to be honest. But I didn't show it. I knew that screaming and crying wasn't going to do anything. I had reached a point where my grief was pointless. Meg touched my hand and said,

"You're brave, Christine."

"No… I'm not. I feel like I'm falling apart." I had to keep my voice carefully even, in case it broke. Meg shook her head.

"No, you are. All year you've been coping incredibly well. It's OK for you to cry."

"I spend too much time crying, Meg. I'm not going to cry anymore." I told her quietly. Meg smiled.

"OK. Well, I'll go and call Raoul. I don't suppose you've called college to tell them why you've missed classes either, have you? Nope, didn't think so."

In truth I had completely forgotten about class. Meg kissed my cheek and then smiled at Erik.

"Nice to meet you. I'll come back later, Christine."

"Thanks Meg." I said, smiling.

Once she had left I finally started to sip at the hospital coffee. I pulled a face.

"Tastes like plastic."

"The standard of public service coffee leaves much to be desired." Erik admitted. I put the coffee on the table and looked over at Dad again. The reassuring beep of the heart monitor sounded regularly. I looked at Erik.

"I sometimes wonder what it's like to have a normal life. Can't be like this."

"Would you really want to be normal?" Erik asked.

"Sometimes. Just occasionally I'd like to be able to think hey, I'm just like everyone else. And then I realise that a lot of the time it'd be really boring. But there are some things I'd gladly change for something normal."

We sat in silence for some time, each of us lost in our own thoughts. We only moved when Doctor Webber came in, smiling.

"Well Miss Daae, I come bearing good news. Your father is in a stable condition. We think he'll be making a full recovery. However, we would like to keep him in the hospital for some time. We'll be moving him to a different ward."

"What for?" I asked.

"It's quite clear that your father's depression has taken a severe turn. We want to observe him and get him some help. And we want to get him off the dependency he has developed on the medication. There are some other methods which are quite effective."

"When do you think he'll come out?" I asked. Doctor Webber shook his head.

"I'm afraid I can't answer that. It's vital that he receives help for his depression. If he doesn't, the effects could be extremely bad."

I looked at him and then nodded.

"Fine. I can still come and see him though?"

"Yes. But for now we'd like to limit your visits. We want him to focus on getting well, not worrying about you. Do you have a place to stay? You're eighteen, correct?"

"Yes, I am. I can take care of myself."

"I'd very much prefer it if you were staying with someone, from a doctors point of view. The stress this is going to cause will mean it's much better if you have someone with you."

"She's staying with me." Erik spoke up for the first time. The doctor looked surprised.

"Well… alright. I'll need to take a name, address and telephone number in case of emergencies."

I supplied him with details and Doctor Webber looked at me carefully.

"Miss Daae, I'm going to insist that you leave for the time being. If you become ill as well, it'll do nothing for either of you. I suggest that you go home and relax for a while. Your father is well and safe for the time being."

"OK. Thank you Doctor Webber."

"You're welcome. Now, off you go. I want to inspect your father."

As we headed back to our town I looked over at Erik.

"Thank you."

"I have plenty of room. It's not as if we'll be crowded."

"Not for that. I mean, thank you for that as well. But I meant for staying with me. You didn't have to." He looked over and a shadow of a smile crossed his face.

We stopped at my house first. Erik waited in the living room whilst I packed everything I needed and left a message for Meg at her house. I went downstairs and found Erik looking at a picture of Mum, Dad and me. It had been taken two summers ago, when we were on holiday in Cornwall. The sun shone brightly down on the three of us as we stood on a cliff, overlooking a bay. The sea was that shade of blue that little children always colour it as but rarely is.

I looked away from the picture and went to the piano. I picked up the box of sheet music and slipped it into my bag. Erik looked at me.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

Erik showed me to a guest room. I gaped at the room incredulously. I had never been in the upstairs rooms before. They were incredible.

"A four poster bed?"

"It's a little old fashioned but this one is slightly cleaner than the rest. And you have a bathroom through there." Erik said, gesturing at a second door. I smiled.

"This is great."

"I'll make some tea."

"OK, I'll be down in a minute." I said, starting to unpack the things I had brought with me.

"I found her." I said quietly when we were in the kitchen. Erik stopped what he was doing and looked at me. I wrapped my hands around the warm mug of tea.

"Found who?"

"…My Mum. It was me who found her." I said. I hadn't told anyone this. Not Raoul, not Meg. Only Dad knew.

Erik sat down at the table. I kept my eyes on the mug in front of me as I remember that day.

I walk through the door, dropping my keys onto the front table.

"Mum, I'm home." I call. There is no reply. I take the bag to the kitchen, putting it on the table. Something isn't right. I frown and go through the living room. I smile. Mum is sleeping on the sofa, facing away from me. There is a sitcom on television. I see the remote is in her hand and go to take it so I can turn of the television.

As I touch her hand I realise it is cold. I frown, the house is quite warm. I kneel next to her and brush a strand of hair back from her face.

"Mum? Are you OK?" I ask. There is no reply.

A feeling of horror rises in my throat. I reach out, shaking and touch her cheek. It's cold to the touch and I jerk back. I start to shake her arm.

"Mum! Mum, wake up! MUM!"

She doesn't move. I shake her harder, screaming.

"Mummy! Mummy, please… don't leave me! Wake up!"

Her hand falls from the sofa and the remote falls to the ground with a clatter. I stop and stare at my mother's body. I can't call her Mum anymore. She's not my Mummy anymore.

I fall back, feeling sick until I'm pressed against the wall. I can't hold it any longer and fall to my hands and knees, being violently sick. I wipe my mouth, unable to rid myself of the bitter taste. The raucous laughter from the television drills into my head, laughing at me…

Dad comes home an hour later and I haven't moved. I'm huddled against the wall, my eyes fixed on the body of my mother. Dad sees me first and bends down beside me, noticing the vomit but not commenting.

"Christine? What's the matter?" He follows my eyes to the body and lets out a cry. He darts across to her, trying to find a pulse. I shake my head.

"She's… she's…"

"Christine, call an ambulance."

"Dad, she's gone… Mum's gone…" I stammer. Dad looks across at me and I think he's going to shout. But then he comes back to me and holds me as if I'm a small child, rocking me back and forward as I bawl.

I can't take my eyes off the body.

I can't stop staring at had once been my mother.

A tear runs down my cheek and drips onto the table. I couldn't speak any longer. The lump in my throat won't permit it. I looked at Erik and said,

"She just… she was just gone. She just left this… this body behind and then she was gone."

Erik didn't speak. He just took both of my hands in his and looked at me. I blinked hard to stop the tears.

"I… I haven't told anyone that before."

"I'm glad you did. I know you better now." He said, still holding my hands in his. And I noticed something.

They were warm. His hands, I mean. They were warm.