Chapter 12
Meg came by the next day. I was cleaning the library, on my hands and knees, scrubbing at the wooden floor. She looked down at me.
"Having fun?"
"The time of my life." I said, getting to my feet. She laughed and I smiled.
"So what brings you all the way out here?"
"Raoul came to my house yesterday."
I winced.
"What did he say?"
"Well he first he yelled at me for not telling him about you and Erik. Then he went on a rant about it, saying you were making a huge mistake, said some very unsavoury things about Erik and left. Did you really call him a spoilt little rich boy?"
"Yeah… it definitely wasn't how I wanted to end things." I said, putting the cleaning things into a basket and carrying them down to the kitchen. As we entered the kitchen Erik came out of the music room, head buried in his newspaper.
"Good morning, Mr Lavonne." Meg said. Erik didn't appear to hear. I smiled.
"Erik? You awake?" He looked up, only just realising we were there.
"Oh… my apologies. Meg, when did you get here?"
"About five minutes ago. You opened the gate for me, remember?"
"Really?" Erik seemed genuinely confused.
"Did you get any sleep last night? I heard you in the music room at about 2 in the morning." I said as we went downstairs. Erik nodded.
"I had trouble sleeping."
He wouldn't say anymore so I didn't push. Meg handed me a bag.
"Raoul asked me to give you this." I looked in the bag and saw that it was filled with things that I had obviously left at his house.
"I guess I had that one coming." I said, looking through the things, "Oh my god, how immature! I gave him this for his birthday last year." I held up a watch. Meg said,
"He's just trying to make you feel bad. Ignore it."
"Not a problem." I said, stuffing the things back into the bag and putting it in the corner.
"Have you decided about college yet? Whether you're going back or not?" Meg asked. Erik listened, since I hadn't actually told him yet.
"I think I'm going back this week. I'll see how Dad is on Tuesday. And the doctor gave me a leaflet on home help, so if he comes home soon I can hire someone to help him during class time. But I really want to finish the school year. After that, I could maybe do some evening classes or something." I said. Meg looked concerned.
"Christine, you shouldn't base your life around what someone else wants. Imagine how your Dad is going to react if he finds out that you're going to give up your education for him."
"I agree, Christine. Your Dad can receive help, but you can't." Erik told her. I looked from one to the other.
"Oh, this isn't fair; you're ganging up on me!"
"It's because we care." Meg said solemnly. I smiled.
"Sure."
Meg stayed for lunch and then went home. Erik and I sat in the library that afternoon. I was delighted to have a chance to look through the books. As I did so I found one about the history of the Manor. I read in fascination, standing by the bookcase.
"I didn't realise there was so much history surrounding this place."
"Did anyone die here? Meg would be delighted. We can tell her it's haunted." Erik said dryly. I laughed.
"I don't think so. But it says there is a secret passage on the first floor that leads out somewhere in the grounds and that the house was used as a shelter for people being hunted down by royalty in the 16th century. Cool. Well, not for the people who were being hunted." I flipped through the pages. Erik watched me from his chair, a slight smile on his face.
I went and sat on the rug in front of Erik's chair.
"Hey, did you know that there used to be a family who lived here called Granas? They used to hold Masquerade balls here once a year. That was in the 1800's. Maybe that's why the town has that Christmas Party every year."
"What party?" Erik asked. I looked up.
"Every Christmas Eve there's a party in the town hall, with a different theme every year. Everyone in town goes; it's a really big deal for people. I think it's a Masquerade one this year, they probably got the idea from the family. You've never been?"
"I didn't know there was one."
"Well, I guess you'd need to leave the Manor Grounds once in a while." I grinned. Erik arched an eyebrow and I returned to the book.
"Look, there's a picture of the ball." I held it up to show him. He examined the masked faces. "I wonder why the Granas family left."
I flicked through the book to see if I could find out why but found nothing. I leant against Erik's chair, my head resting against this knee. His hand was tangled in my hair, stroking the dark curls. I continued to read, saying facts aloud every now and again.
"Christine?" He murmured. I looked up at him.
"Hmm?"
"You know its Christmas in a few weeks…"
"What?" I sat up straight and started counting in my head. Erik eyed me in amusement.
"You didn't realise?"
"Well, I have had a lot going on. Yeah, I forgot. Anyway, you were saying?"
"If your father is allowed out of hospital for Christmas, will you be going home?" He asked, in a casual voice. I looked at him carefully.
"I don't know. I mean… I want to spend Christmas here. But if Dad is coming home…"
"If you wouldn't mind him coming here… he could." Erik said, rather awkwardly. I smiled.
"I'd like to. I want to spend Christmas with you."
Erik smiled and I put my head back on his knee. I joked,
"Maybe we should have a Masquerade Ball."
"If you want." I looked up quickly.
"What?"
"If you want one, we could."
"But… letting people into the Manor? You'd hate that." I said.
"Do you want a ball?" Erik asked.
"I was only joking. Besides, we could just go to the Christmas Party. That might be fun. And you already have a mask so your outfits halfway there."
He smiled and I knelt up to kiss him.
"I do love you, Erik."
"I know."
"I just feel like I don't tell you that enough."
"You can tell me every moment of everyday." He said solemnly, kissing me. I kissed him back, the book falling onto the rug. Unfortunately we were interrupted a few minutes later by someone knocking on the door and entering. The old man must have been rather surprised to find his boss kissing a considerably younger girl kneeling front of library fireplace. We looked at him in surprise and he stared back. Eventually Erik got to his feet. I jumped up, trying to look composed. The old man said,
"Mr Lavonne, I was just…"
"Yes, Thomas, we'll go to the Writing room." Erik said slightly flustered. Thomas disappeared. I looked at Erik, who said,
"The gardener. I forgot that he was going to be coming in today."
"Well, I bet he didn't see that one coming." I said. Erik gave me a look but couldn't resist smiling.
"Do you think a cup of tea and piece of cake would make it up to him?" I asked. Erik shrugged.
"Won't hurt to try."
I knocked on the door to the writing room, balancing a tray on one hand. Erik and Thomas were sat at the table, discussing something. I smiled.
"Refreshments."
"Thank you, Christine. Excuse me, Thomas, I'll just go and get that plan." Erik said, leaving us alone. I looked at Thomas embarrassedly.
"I'm so sorry about before…"
"No matter, no matter. Thomas Pullman. The gardener."
"Christine Daae. Cleaner and cook." I said, shaking his hand. He raised an eyebrow and I blushed. "And girlfriend."
"I'm glad that you make him happy. And you obviously do. I've never seen him in such a good mood." Thomas smiled, showing gaps in his teeth. I smiled.
"It's so nice to meet you."
"You must come and meet the missus. She'd be delighted."
"I'd love to." I said, really meaning it. Erik came and heard that part.
"We'll come down tomorrow afternoon, Thomas. Would that suit you and Penny?"
"It would, Mr Lavonne, she'll be over the moon."
"Here are the plans for the gardens. We'll see you tomorrow." Erik said, handing him some paper. Thomas grinned at us and left, munching on a slice of cake. I smiled at Erik.
"He's nice."
"He's been here for years, long before I arrived. It's just him and his wife. They didn't disturb me so I let them be." Erik explained, sipping his tea. He looked at me for a moment.
"Let's go to the music room. It's been a while since we practised."
"Good idea." I smiled.
We sang The Point of No Return that day. I stood by the windows, looking out over the gardens. At first Erik played the piano but then he stood behind me, holding me as we sang. I was happy then, and so was he. As we sat at the piano I opened the box of sheet music we had put together and spotted a piece of music, half scribbled with notes. I looked at it and then smiled.
"The Phantom of the Opera?"
"You told me to write a song. So I did." Erik said, smiling slightly. I laughed and he said,
"It's inspired by the Angel of Music song. I was considering making it a duet."
"So we can sing it together."
"There's no one else I would sing it with." He said, running his hands down the keyboard, the notes flying in quick succession. I started to read over the words.
In sleep he sang to me
In dreams he came
That voice that called to me
And speaks my name
And do I dream again
For now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there
Inside my mind
I glanced at him and he nodded for me to read on.
Sing once again with me
Our strange duet
My power over you
Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me
To glance behind
The phantom of the opera is there
Inside your mind
I couldn't help laughing.
"Erik, it's wonderful."
"That's all I've written so far. I thought about mentioning this…" he brushed his mask with his hand. I sat down next to him and took the mask off.
"Those who have seen your face draw back in fear. I am the mask you wear." I said. Erik looked at me.
"It's me they hear."
"Hey, we're good." I smiled, stroking the left side of his face. Erik pressed my hand to his cheek.
"When you first came here, I never dreamed that we would end up like this." He murmured.
"You and me both."
"It really doesn't bother you?" He asked concernedly. I smiled gently.
"No. It doesn't. I didn't know what was going to be under the mask and I can't say it didn't give me a shock when I saw it that night… but I was already in love. It just didn't matter what was behind the mask."
He closed his eyes, still pressing my hand to his twisted cheek. I said,
"When I first saw you, that day I came to ask for the job, do you know what the firs thing I thought was?"
"What?" He asked, almost fearfully.
"Well, first I thought wow, this guy is hot." He smiled, "And then I thought how lonely you must be. And that day you made me sing for you, when you darkened the room… that's when I knew that I wanted to stop you being so lonely."
He looked at me for a moment. I smiled reassuringly. He reached out and stroked my hair.
"The first time I saw you, standing in that doorway I thought you were an angel."
"An angel with a leather jacket." I said. He smiled.
"Well, yes. And then I told you that I couldn't help you. I said that because I didn't want you to get close. I didn't want you to see under the mask. But you insisted and I weakened. And then I saw you had finished the music and I couldn't believe that you were real. I supposed that you had just made it up."
"What made you change your mind?" I asked. He smiled softly.
"When I heard you sing. What was that song?"
"I don't remember. What did it sound like?" I asked, trying to remember.
"You said 'why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold, cold heart'."
"Norah Jones… Cold, Cold Heart." I told him. He sighed.
"I fell in love with you when I heard you sing. But I never thought that… and that night, when you came to me in the music room. You looked so… so beautiful. Dressed all in white, standing in the moonlight. And when you took of the mask and you gasped and dropped it…"
"You ran to the shadows." I murmured. Our faces were only inches apart now. Erik whispered,
"I thought you were going to run away. I thought I would be alone again. You… Christine, you're the only one who never screamed or tried to run. You brought me back into the light."
"You've been in darkness too long."
"And you kissed my… my face." I could feel his breath on my cheek and I felt the breath drain out of me.
"Not alone… not anymore…"
"And then… then you sang…" He whispered, his lips nearly on mine.
"Love me… that's all I ask of you…" I whispered back, feeling breathless.
His lips brushed mine. We had kissed many times since that night but this was different. It was so… there are no words. It wasn't the same as the desperate, hungry kiss we had shared that night. It wasn't the same as the warm, loving kisses we had exchanged everyday. This was beautiful and passionate and wonderful. It was everything either of us had ever wanted.
"Wherever you go, let me go too. That's all I ask of you." he whispered in my ear. I smiled and pressed my mouth to his in reply.
We had reached the point of no return. And neither of us wanted to return.