He woke the next morning with slender arms wound around his neck, head pillowed on his chest and hair in his mouth. Shinji sneezed, pulling golden-red strands off his cheeks, then stared bleakly at the ceiling. At least it had been a dreamless night, he had that much to thank, but the crust of dried tears around his eyes reminded him all too abruptly of what had gone the night before.

"It's about time you woke up," Asuka muttered into his chest, a hand batting at his face. "Was starting to wonder if you ever would."

"When did you come in?" he asked hesitantly. He remembered sitting up into the early hours, but he'd been alone- he must have fallen asleep to the bass rumbles of Asuka's stereo through the wall, which had started up only minutes after she'd left his room. His portable CD player must not have been enough to drown out her thoughts.

"When Misato went to work. I was gonna make you wake up and make me breakfast, but you looked so comfortable that I decided going back to bed was okay too."

"And your own room was too far away, huh?" It was a much more reassuring explanation than he'd been expecting. It hadn't been the first time she'd invaded his bed early in the morning, but it was the first time she'd let him stay in it. Usually he woke up somewhere on the floor, with a sheet thrown at him if she'd kicked it off in the middle of the night.

"You know it." Asuka yawned, then shoved at him, indicating she wanted the pillows. Shinji got up somewhat begrudgingly, padding across the cool floor to his closet. "Oooh, Misato said to tell you that your girlfrieeend is coming over today, to pick up her absence papers."

"Ayanami isn't my girlfriend, Asuka." It was a tired argument, one he could easily recite while half-asleep and attempting to change out of his pajamas while exposing no skin.

"Yeah, I know she's just your attempt at a heterosexual front, Captain Faggo, but 'girlfriend' is shorter."

"Speaking of, didn't you have a date today?" Refocusing the conversation to Asuka would change the subject in a flash, and he didn't feel like dealing with the smug ridicule too early in the morning.

"Aaaah, fuck 'im. I've got more important things to do."

"Such as?" Shinji eyed her over his shoulder, then pulled his shirt over his head.

"Such as, getting a few things straight with my favorite freak job." Asuka rolled onto her back, pajama top riding up over her ribs. Shinji paused, then crossed the small room to sit on the mattress, facing away from her. A hand rested briefly against his back, but retreated when he jumped in surprise.

"D'ya know… you cry in your sleep?" she asked quietly.

Things had been going so normally, so by a regular weekend schedule, that the sudden weight of her words was more than a little disquieting. He looked down at his hands, thumbs pressing nervously into the imagined scar in the center.

"…I do?"

"Yeah." She touched his back again, and though he tensed, it apparently wasn't enough to scare her back a second time. "And you talk."

"Have you heard…?" There was an uncomfortable lump in his throat. "What do I say?"

"Well, a lot of shit that doesn't make sense, but…" There was something unreadable in Asuka's voice, but he knew well enough by now that she was going to continue, and he probably wasn't going to like what she had to say. So he waited.

"Shinji… what did the First do to you?"

In truth, what she said was completely nonsensical. Or at least it should have been. But when she said 'the First', only half his brain connected it to nothing, the way it should have. The other half, quite confidently, thought 'Ayanami', and so he answered.

"Ayanami… didn't do anything to me, Asuka." Because nightmares didn't count. "I must have just been dreaming, that's all."

"That's a load of bull," she snapped, hand tightening on his back. "There's a difference between just dreaming and remembering things in your sleep. I should know."

"…What do you mean?" Shinji turned to face her, genuinely confused.

Asuka looked up at him like he had a horn growing out of his forehead. "I watched my mother hang herself, you moron!" she snapped. "I dream about that all the time, it's different from nightmares!"

It was hard to speak for a minute, and when he managed it, it ached. "Asuka… your mother died giving birth to you," he said hollowly. "You told me so yourself." He remembered, because he'd been able to identify, never having known his mother either. He'd only known of her through the pictures his grandmother had, when he'd lived with them. Now that his grandparents were gone, it was as though she'd never existed.

"…What? No, she didn't!" Asuka shot up from the bed, brow furrowing, voice raising in visible anger. "She- she got divorced from Dad, and then killed herself! Haven't you read my files, Shinji? I saw her hanging there, just when I ran in to tell her-"

The words hung in the air as she silenced abruptly, eyes wide and staring into his. Shinji resisted the urge to put his arms around her, knowing she would fight him tooth and nail. She just looked so.. so desolate, so lost…

"You're right," she said finally. "You're right, she did die before I met her. I… I don't know what I was thinking."

Shinji hesitated, then touched her shoulder. "Maybe… maybe, this is all just-"

The business-like rap at the door took precedence over whatever he was trying to say. "That must be Ayanami," he said hurriedly, glad he'd taken the time to put clothes on. "I'll get the door… maybe you should get dressed, Asuka…?"

"Eh, I will in a minute." She laid back down heavily, distressingly pale. "You go do your thing."

Shinji made sure to close the door behind him, then hurried over to the front. He opened the front door just as she was preparing to knock again.

"Ikari-kun," Rei said calmly. "Am I too early?"

"No, no…" He flushed and ushered her in. "I'm sorry, I slept in by accident, so I was rushing around trying to get things together… I think I forgot to set my alarm…"

"I do not mind." Without even asking, she picked up the packet of papers they'd brought for her from school. "Is this all?"

"Yeah… we didn't do much in school." Shinji shoved his hands in his pockets. There had always been something about her that made him both at ease and incredibly insecure at the same time. Crimson eyes regarded him with what would seem to be a complete lack of emotion, if one ignored the tiny crease on her forehead.

"Are you unwell?"

"N-no." It was strange, how she looked so different in his nightmares. This face was so calm, so gentle, even… more like a Madonna than the crazed monster with staring eyes and lolling neck. Then, she was emptiness, some primordial force that made him feel like he was being swallowed; now, and every other time, there was just a presence that surrounded him in comfort, quiet light, warmth.

"Hm." She sounded like she didn't quite believe him, with the tiniest arch of an eyebrow that made him cringe. "Have you seen your father lately…?"

"No." And he certainly didn't plan to.

"He requested I pass on to you that he paid your teacher for the time you spent under his care." Rei was paging through the homework assignments, uncaring.

"What?" Shinji racked his brain, trying to remember. A teacher… that he'd spent time with…? "Ayanami… what exactly do you mean?"

"The man you lived with after your mother passed away," she said matter-of-factly.

"I lived with my grandparents," he said softly, feeling his hands begin to ache.

"No, you didn't." Rei wouldn't meet his eyes. "You're mistaken. Also, I was informed a medical exam will be taking place this Monday at school. I would advise you participate, you don't look well."

"Ayanami, I-"

"I must go, I have an appointment." With that, she was pulling the door closed behind her, leaving the scent of metal and disinfectant in her wake.

Shinji leaned against the counter, inexplicably drained. It was as though everything was tied together with thread- snap one, and the rest followed posthaste.

The rest of the morning was a blur of pancakes, cereal, homework and television, the same as any day they weren't in school. Asuka seemed dead set against further discussion of anything with more importance than who was cheating on who on the soap operas, and he was fine with that, until Romero told Mia that he must have been born just to meet her, and he could only sob into Asuka's shoulder until Misato came home, because it hurt somewhere deep inside.

Everything was falling apart, piece by piece, memory by memory, and he knew, he dreaded, that he would dream of apocalypse the moment he closed his eyes.