Strength
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters
Elphaba remained in the hospital for four more days. Although Fiyero and Glinda were relieved beyond words that she was safe, they noticed that she was very quiet, even more so than usual. She seemed reluctant to start conversations, and would only respond to questions with "Fine" or "Ok."
On the morning of their departure for Shiz, Elphaba once again felt the unwelcome emotion of fear. Fear for what Madame Morrible would say when she returned with her arm and leg in casts and unable to walk without assistance. Fear for whether or not news of exactly what the Wizard had said during her meeting had spread back to Shiz. Fear that she would run into that drunken man again. And most of all, fear that Glinda and Fiyero wouldn't love her anymore once they found out the lack of strength with which she handled the whole situation. Over the past four days, she had had a considerable amount of time to go over the whole situation in her head. She couldn't believe that the girl in her memory was her, just like she couldn't believe that the girl in the mirror was her six days earlier. Curling up in a fetal position on the ground in an alley was not her. Though, even she was beginning to lose sight of who she was, so who was she to say that it wasn't?
Fiyero carried Elphaba out of the hospital to the waiting cab. At first, Elphaba had insisted on hobbling all the way out there while leaning on Fiyero's shoulder for support, but it became very obvious that that was not going to be a very efficient way of getting her around. He placed her in the cab next to Glinda, who had gone ahead with the baggage. He then climbed in himself, and gave the driver the signal to go.
Elphaba closed her eyes as the cab pulled away from the curb in front of the hospital. She didn't want to see any more of the Emerald City. This city that she thought would bring her universal acceptance had actually brought her entire sense of self-understanding crashing down. When she left Shiz, she was Elphaba Thropp, the daughter of Frex and Melena Thropp. Granted, she was the unwanted daughter, but she was the daughter nonetheless. Now she didn't know who she was. She tried to tell herself that the Wizard was wrong. It was all a misunderstanding and nothing had to change. But she knew in her heart that this was a lie.
She did know one thing for sure, though. She was still the friend of Glinda and the girlfriend of Fiyero. They would stand by her no matter what, wouldn't they? She once again rested her head on Fiyero's shoulder, grateful for the security it provided. It reminded her that he was there, and that she was safe. For some reason, she never felt completely safe anymore either.
Fiyero and Glinda glanced at each other across the cab. They each knew what the other was thinking. Something was wrong. They both knew that something bad had happened to Elphaba, but they weren't sure how to get it out of her.
They also tried to sleep away the ride back to Shiz, but sleep did not come as easily to Glinda or Fiyero as it did to Elphaba. Fortunately, this driver also took the back roads, so the trip was not terribly long. As they pulled up to Shiz, Fiyero was glad to see that it was starting to get dark out. No one would see them walk in. He lifted Elphaba out of the cab, alarmed at how easy the task was even with the added weight of the casts. He carried her towards Crage Hall, but he stopped short when he saw one of the Amas standing in the lobby.
"The one night they put a guard out there!" Glinda cried with exasperation in her voice.
Fiyero knew that he would never be allowed to carry Elphaba up to her room. He also knew that Glinda would never be able to carry Elphaba up there.
It didn't matter, anyway, because as they were trying to figure out what to do a voice came out of the darkness.
"Oh, I see our weary travelers have once again returned." Madame Morrible slowly moved close enough so that she could be seen. "You know, I had no problem allowing the three of you to miss classes for a few days, but for you to just up an leave again without asking for permission first is a display of impudence that I don't like to see among my student. Granted, Miss Elphaba was extended an invitation along with two companions. I received the same invitation in my office. But I don't understand why you decided to extend your little vacation an extra four days when you still have work to be made up from your last excursion…"
"Vacation?!" Glinda stepped forward and held a hand up to stop Madame Morrible's lecture. "Excuse me, but does it look like we actually had fun on this trip? Madame Morrible, if you have not already noticed, Miss Elphaba is injured. She was in the hospital for quite a few days. We did not extend our stay simply to miss more classes. Furthermore, I do not think that this is the appropriate time to be lecturing any of us, especially Miss Elphaba."
Madame Morrible looked at Elphaba, who was now shaking in Fiyero's arms, partly from the cold air and partly from nervousness. "Oh, so I see. Well, I suppose then that you have all learned your lesson from this little adventure, haven't you? I don't expect that we will be seeing anything like this from you in the future. Now, I suppose you should be getting back to your rooms. It's quite late."
For once, Madame Morrible did something that was helpful. She told the Ama in the lobby of Crage Hall that Fiyero should be allowed to carry Elphaba up to her room. Once they got there, Fiyero laid Elphaba down on her bed and gently tucked her in and said, "Ok, Fabala. I'm going to go back to my room now. Try and get some sleep. I'll be back to check on you in the morning."
He kissed her on the forehead, said goodnight to Glinda, and left. Elphaba tried to sleep, but found it to be impossible. For one thing, she had slept through the entire ride home, so she wasn't as exhausted as Fiyero and Glinda were. But there was more to Elphaba's inability to sleep than a lack of exhaustion. Every time she closed her eyes, the events of the past week flashed before her. She tried as hard as she could to stop it. She dug up every happy memory she could think of, but the few happy memories she had led right back to where she was. Eventually, she gave up and opened her eyes.
It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Even after they had adjusted, she could only make out shadows. She turned on her side and looked at Glinda in her own bed across the room. She wished that Glinda was awake. She needed to get this pain out of her.
What Elphaba didn't know was that Glinda was awake. She couldn't sleep either, although she was very tired. Sensing that Elphaba was also awake, she sat up slightly and whispered, "Elphie? Are you still awake?"
For a few moments there was no answer, and then Elphaba's voice, much softer and weaker than usual, said "Yeah, I can't sleep. Glinda?"
"Yes, Elphie?"
"Could you come over here? I need to talk about something."
Glinda had a slight idea of what Elphaba was going to talk about. She got out of her bed and made her way to her friend's across the room. It was a bit difficult for both of them to get into the bed with Elphaba's casts limiting her movement, but somehow they made it work. Once Glinda was at her side, Elphaba took a deep breath and began to tell her story.
"Ok…Back when I had my meeting with…with the Wizard…it wasn't just to talk about my sorcery powers. It turns out that…the Wizard is…my father."
This was not what Glinda had expected to hear. "What? Elphie, how is that possible?"
So Elphaba went on to tell her about the Wizard's affair with her mother, and how the Wizard had no actual power thus giving her enormous powers. After she had finished, Glinda began to gently rub her back.
"It's going to be ok, Elphie. So your father is a different person than you thought. That doesn't have to change you any. You're still our strong, stubborn Elphie, no matter who your father is."
Elphaba shook her head slightly. "But that's just it, Glinda! I feel like I'm changing. After the meeting, instead of being strong and brushing it off like I normally would, I went into an abandoned alley, curled up against the wall, and just lost it. At least, I thought the alley was abandoned. This drunk guy came along and thought I was a lizard; he wanted to keep me as a pet. He grabbed me and had me in a tight grip, so I did the first thing that came to my mind."
"And what was that?" Glinda expected that Elphaba had used her powers to throw the man out of the alley or something.
Instead, Elphaba said, "I bit him." Seeing Glinda's amused expression she continued. "See, when I was very small I had unusually large teeth. Until I learned how to control myself I bit everything that came within 6 inches of my mouth. I even chewed myself up quite a bit. I still have some scars from it. Obviously, I've learned how to stop myself now, but whenever I get into situations like that it's still my gut instinct. Anyway, the guy decided he didn't want a lizard who would bite him, so he threw me into the wall pretty hard. I passed out, and I guess that's where you found me."
Glinda nodded. "When you didn't come back to the hotel, we began to get very worried. We searched all around the Palace area, but unfortunately we were in the one city in Oz where you blend into everything. It took us almost all night to find you. Poor thing, you were shaking so hard we weren't sure what to do first. I wanted to take you back to the hotel and warm you up, but Fiyero took one look at that leg of yours and insisted that we bring you to the hospital."
Her leg. Elphaba hadn't even given the broken bones a second thought. For the first time, she reached down and felt the cast on her leg and said, "You know, I thought that meeting the Wizard would make everything better. Everything would just go away. The unloving family, the green skin, the pointing, the staring; they would all just disappear, and I would be happy. But instead it made everything worse."
Glinda opened up her mouth to speak again, but it was pre-empted by a yawn.
"See? Here I am, keeping you up all night with my stupid insecurities. I'm sorry I got you up, Glinda." Elphaba said as she fell back against her pillow.
Glinda stood and seized the opportunity to tuck her friend back into bed. "No, Elphie. I'm glad you told me. We both knew something was wrong with you and we were getting really worried. Doesn't it feel better having told someone?"
As much as Elphaba hated to admit it, it did. In response to her nod, Glinda said "Now, I just need you to promise me one thing."
"What?"
"Tomorrow, you need to tell Fiyero."
A.N. Sorry this took a little longer. I hope you all had a very merry Christmas. I finally saw Wicked on Thursday-it was so awesome! Please review; now that I've seen the show I'm sure this will be getting much better. Lots of Fiyeraba in the next chapter!