I surprisingly still do not own Gilmore Girls despite my secret wishes to one day do so.

Epilogue- Because I feel that there are some loose ends.

Rory Gilmore was never whole again. That much was clear. She had timidly tried to fix things with everyone she had hurt. It was a long haul. Nobody would forgive her easily. Every time she looked at her mother she felt the pain of loss and regret. Her mother never looked at her the same way anymore. Rory Gilmore had fallen and couldn't get up. She had tried counseling and therapy. She had gone on mood enhancing pills. She had done everything she could to feel better. To feel like Rory Gilmore. But today, she accepted defeat.

Today was her last day of group counseling. Today was the day she graduated from the twelve step program of grief. Today was the day where she would accept her diploma without her family cheering her on. She hadn't told anyone what was happening that day. She hadn't really deserved the diploma and she knew it. She had skipped a step. She had skipped the step that said make amends.

She had tried though.

She had apologized profusely to Luke. He nodded his head and hadn't spoken to her since. She had explained everything to her grandparents and they looked at her like she was a failure. Lane had semi forgiven her, understanding that Rory needed a friend. Marty had moved on, finding a warm bed with a red head named Cheryl. Logan was still clueless.

When Rory had apologized to him and begged for his forgiveness he simply hugged her before leaving with his girlfriend or sex buddy. Doyle had accepted her back at the paper because she was one of the best writers he knew. Stars Hollow had welcomed Rory back but were skeptical of her. Paris was surprisingly the easiest to get back.

"Rory sometimes people need to know the truth and I thank you for enlightening me. I forgive you because I don't know what would happen if I didn't. You were there for me with Asher and I'm here for you. Despite the odds Rory, you're going to be okay." Paris had told her.

"Nothing's the same anymore." Rory began her graduation speech.

"Nobody really forgives me. I don't even forgive myself." Some tears fell from her face. "I lost everything. I lost my unborn baby and spiraled out of control. Let me tell you, crash landings suck. I pushed everyone I love to the side, nobody mattered anymore. And I regret doing so." More tears fell down her porcelain face.

"I lost myself that day and I continued to do so. I made everyone I love hate me. And that doesn't help with getting over the pain. I turned into a monster. I drank, I didn't eat, I had mindless sex, well that was pretty good actually." She laughed and the crowd joined her.

"I became what I hated the most. So I hated myself and I was too far into it to just back out. At that point I had nobody to turn to. So I reasoned with myself, who would really be hurt if I died? Obviously it didn't work. I was so reckless about it, I didn't care who found out, who found my body. I knew that people would be hurt by my selfish act." She paused unable to continue at that moment.

"My roommate found me. And then everything went uphill. I cried a lot. I went to the doctor, to the shrink, counseling, everything my mother and I thought would help me."

"One of the steps here is to ask for forgiveness from all those that you hurt. I did and even though everybody 'forgave' me, I know differently. Going home is tense and awkward. Being around those people is just the same. They never forgave me. They don't trust me." She was crying so hard that she choked on some tears.

"I wish I could say I'm better. That standing up here was some kind of achievement, but to me it's just a farce."

"I'm not who I used to be. I'm nobody. So um Emily Dickinson wrote:

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us — don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.

How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!"

"I guess what I am trying to say to those of you who have just started is that this program as helpful as it is will not produce miracles. Some of us just have to live with our consequences and hope that time will make everything better. Life isn't about happy endings, we all know how life ends…"

Rory walked off the stage forgoing the handshake and diploma tradition. She walked down the aisle and smiled sadly at those who were still lost. Life isn't about happy endings. She was right about that. She just hoped for an okay ending. An ending where she wasn't magically cured of her problems and where people didn't welcome her back with open arms. She had hope for an ending in which she was getting help, in which she had some support and an ending in which the future couldn't be as bad as the present.

the okay end.