Chapter 27

The first set of performers were incredibly good, far better than they had been in rehearsals. I watched from the wings, listening in rapture. I wondered if Erik was enjoying the performance. I couldn't get far enough forward to see him without going onto the stage. He had paid extra money to reserve one of the boxes of the auditorium, where he, Meg and Marie were sitting.

During the interval, the performers were allowed to go and speak with their guests. I found Erik and the Giry's and smiled.

"Enjoying it?"

"I am." Meg said, glancing in amusement at Erik. I looked at him.

"You're not?"

"I did not say that. I merely pointed out that some of the performers were a little… off." Erik said awkwardly. I laughed and pushed his arm.

"Come on, we're not professionals! Give them a break."

"He keeps tutting and wincing." Marie said, enjoying Erik's discomfort. I laughed and kissed Erik's cheek.

"Just so you know, if you do that to me, you can take your roses and stick them where the sun doesn't shine."

He looked frankly appalled at my language abut smiled.

"You like the flowers?"

"Of course. Thank you." I said, kissing him again. I checked my watch.

"Better get back and warm up. Wish me luck!" Meg and Marie did so. Erik simply kissed me and I laughed.

I found that as my performance grew closer, instead of being more nervous, I simply became numb. Each round of applause brought my turn closer and I stood, absently chewing on a fingernail until Jessie told me to stop.

"Christine, just relax. You'll be great, OK?"

"Easy for you to say. You've already done your song." I pointed out.

"And I made it through. It'll be fine." She assured me.

I felt anything but reassured though. Carlotta's turn arrived and she flounced onto the stage. To her credit, I had to, rather grudgingly, admit that she performed well. Although I could see a few people wince on those high notes.

Carlotta walked past me, not meeting my eye. I wondered if it was because she was too embarrassed or because she had taken my threat seriously.

My name was announced and I walked onto the stage to generous applause. I went to the centre of the stage, where the microphones were placed and looked out onto the audience. And froze.

From the first row of seats, looking up at me was my father.

I stared at him and he smiled. I smiled back. I glanced up at the box where Erik was sat. He had seen my father and nodded. Then I realised that I was supposed to be introducing myself and my song.

"Good evening, Ladies and Gentlemen. My name is Christine Daae and I will be singing an original piece called Think of Me. It was written by me and someone very close to me. It's a very special piece to me and I hope you enjoy it."

I glanced up at Erik and saw he was smiling. My smile widened slightly and the introduction to Think of Me began to play.

I think I sang better that night then I ever had before. And it was because of two things.

The first, of course, was Erik. If he hadn't been there… well, I owed him so much. I sang for him because I had to. I wanted to see him looking at me, with that expression of love that he used only when I sang perfectly.

The second was my father. I had planned on concentrated on Erik, my 'singing thing'. But Erik wasn't just what made me sing that night. Because my eyes were fixed on my father. It felt like I was proving myself to him by singing like that. Trying to show him what Erik had given me. I wanted to sing my very best and show it to him, to say 'Look, Dad. This is what has come from Erik. This is why I love him.'

I wanted acceptance from him. Maybe that sounds a little odd. My fury at Dad was still there, but he was my father. The man who had raised me, along with my Mum. The father who had read me bedtime stories about dragons and princesses, who had played me to sleep with his violin, who would push me on the swings, who had kissed me goodnight, who had hugged me good morning, who had made me breakfast, who had picked me up when I fell down, who kissed my bruises better when I fell out of the tree, who had been there holding my hand at Mum's funeral, who had always been there, who had cooked spaghetti because it was all he could cook, who had held me when I found Mum on the sofa…

A thousand memories flashed through my mind at once, crowding each other out and Dad was in every single one of them. I wanted to toss my microphone to one side, to jump from the stage and to bury my head in his lap, for him to hug me and tell me everything was OK.

I wanted my daddy.

But I couldn't do that yet. At that moment in time, I had to sing. So I sang everything I was feeling. I sang for him and for Erik, for the two most important people in my life. For the only people in this whole room that mattered at the moment.

I sang for them. And I think they knew.

When I had finished my piece, there was silence. My heart sank. Had I failed? Had I sounded so terrible that no one could bear to speak?

And then someone started to applaud. Another person joined in. And then another. And suddenly the roar of applause and cheers deafened me. I smiled and took my bow. The applause didn't finish. People were getting to their feet, clapping their hands furiously. I glanced up at Erik. He, too, was on his feet, his hands thundering together. My heart swelled with joy and I look down towards my father. He isn't standing or applauding. Simply gazing at me.

Mrs Lewis appeared onstage and led the other performers out onto the stage. The applause continued, even louder. A few standard thanks were made and the curtains were drawn across the stage. Jessie threw herself at me, hugging me tightly.

"My god, Christine, that was incredible! You sounded so… I can't think of the words!"

I couldn't reply. I simply smiled.

There was a fifteen minute break whilst the judges made their decision on the competitors. And frankly, I didn't care if I won or not. It all seemed a little childish at this point. I just wanted to see if Dad and Erik had been impressed.

We were led back out onto the stage. I stood between Jessie and a guy called Liam. The awards that were being given out were best male, best female and best overall performer.

I looked up at Erik. He smiled slightly and I smiled back. Then I looked at Dad. He was watching me still. I was fed up with this showcase already. I wanted to go and talk to him.

Mr Reyer stood on the stage in front of the performers. He made a short speech about the quality of the performances, blah, blah, blah and how proud he was to present these awards.

The best male went to a guy called Michael. He was good, definitely deserved the prize. He made a quick speech and grinned at the audience. I applauded, anxious for everything to finish. Monsieur Reyer announced the best female. It was Jessie Hughes. I turned to Jessie and grinned.

"Well done, Jessie!"

She made a short, awkward speech, clearly stunned. I applauded her happily and glanced over at Carlotta. She was looking slightly smug. No need to wonder why. You could only be given one award and she was probably up for Best Performer. Jessie returned to her place by my, clutching the trophy and smiling widely.

I looked up at Erik whilst Mr Reyer started to announce the best performer. Erik was pointing at something. I stared and then realised that he was telling me to pay attention to the awards. I did so, somewhat depressed. Smug Carlotta was even worse than normal Carlotta.

My eyes fell once more Dad. But before I could do anything else I heard my name and applause and cheers. I stared around, bewildered.

"What?"

"Christine, you won!" Jessie laughed. I stared at her.

"Won…?"

"Yes! Go on!" she said pushing me forward. I went forward quickly and took the trophy from Mr Reyer.

"Congratulations Christine." He said, shaking my hand. I smiled, somewhat stunned and he handed me the microphone.

"Uh… well, wow." I began. A ripple of laughter and I smiled. "Thank you. This is… well, it's fantastic. This was the first time I've sung in public for over a year and it was definitely a good way to come back. So thank you, Mr Reyer, Professor Sandsmark and Mrs Lewis. I really enjoyed myself tonight and I hope everyone else did too."

I handed the microphone back to Mr Reyer and went back to my place. And I didn't even fall over. Thus far – a pretty good evening. And the look on Carlotta's face only made things better.

It took me ages to escape from the changing rooms. People kept coming over to congratulate me. I can't say that I didn't enjoy this a little, but I was anxious to get away.

Eventually I managed to get out. The entrance hall was milling with people. Several people I didn't even know complimented me on my performance. I smiled and nodded my thanks, all the time searching.

And there he was. On the opposite side of the room, held up by crutches. I stared across at him and he stared back. Then I moved slowly over to him, pushing my way through the crowds until I stood before him. Neither of us spoke. He reached out one hesitant hand and gently pulled one of my curls so that it sprang back into place.

"You came." I whispered. He smiled.

"Of course I did."

I didn't speak. I don't think I could have, even if I had wanted to. Because Dad simply reached out his arms and I moved into them, burying my face in his shirt, smelling that scent that was him. A mixture of his aftershave, peppermints and… him.

"Dad…" I whispered, feeling tears prick my eyes.

"My Christine…" he whispered back, his arms wrapped tightly around me. My tears were wetting his shirt, and I could feel his own tears on my forehead.

It was sometime before either of us could bear to move apart. He looked down at me and said,

"I'm sorry, Christine. I'm sorry for what I did."

"Please don't. I don't want you to say anything. I just want my dad back." I told him, my voice catching. He smiled tearily.

And then we were hugging again, both of us in tears. Eventually he said,

"I have to go… I've got a lift waiting to take me back to the hospital."

"Do you have to?" I asked. He smiled sadly.

"I'm afraid so. And besides… they're waiting for you." he nodded to something behind me. I glanced over my shoulder.

Erik, Meg and Marie were watching us from someway off, all with little smiles. I nodded quickly to them and then looked at Dad.

"Can I come and see you tomorrow? I think we need to talk."

"I think we do. I'll… I'll see you then." He kissed my cheek and I hugged him one last time. And then he headed for the door. Once he had climbed into a waiting car and driven away, I looked over at the three people waiting for us. Meg asked tentatively,

"Are you OK?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good." I said quietly, smiling. Erik took my hand.

"Let's go home."

"That sounds great." I smiled.

I felt tired. Not just physically, but emotionally. The thought of seeing Dad the next day was a joy, but also worried me. We were going to have to bring a lot of stuff up, and both of us were going to get hurt.

But it'd be worth it. In the end.

When Erik and I returned to the Manor, we went to the kitchen. Erik started to make tea. I took the rose out of my hair and held it gently in my hands.

"You're seeing him tomorrow?" Erik asked. I nodded. "What time?"

"Sometime in the afternoon."

"Would you like me to come?" he asked. I met his eye and shook my head.

"Not yet. I think we need to be alone."

"If you're sure."

"I am."

He placed a cup of tea in front of me. I sipped it as he sat down and then I glanced at him.

"Did you enjoy it? The showcase?"

"Some of it."

"I thought it was great. Everyone was so good." I said, holding the hot cup in my hands. The heat seeped into my skin, comfortingly.

"You were breathtaking." Erik said quietly. I smiled slightly, watching a wisp of steam rise from the surface of my drink.

"Thank you."

"I don't think that I've ever heard you sing so well before." Erik commented.

"I couldn't have done it with you and Dad. I just felt… like I had to sing my very best, so Dad would see what we can do. I guess that doesn't make much sense…" my voice faded away. Erik lifted my chin gently and looked into my eyes.

"It makes perfect sense."

He kissed me gently. It probably would have gotten a lot more intimate if I hadn't yawned at that particular moment and ruined the atmosphere. I smiled apologetically.

"Sorry. Guess I'm tired."

"Then go to bed."

"You're not coming?"

"I feel rather inspired to play some music." He smiled. I smiled and headed for bed. Once I was lying, tucked in, I could heart faint piano music floating up the stairs. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

I woke halfway through the night and rolled over. Erik lay on his back, sleeping peacefully. I lay my head on his shoulder and, still asleep, he reached for me, pulling me close to him. I closed my eyes and went back to sleep, listening to the thud of his heart.