Chapter 31

I hated myself that night. After Erik had fallen asleep, I left him bed and went downstairs to the kitchen.

I know, I shouldn't have left him. But I couldn't sleep and the thoughts were rushing through my brain at a million miles per hour. I almost felt sick. What had he done? What had I done, bringing this all up again when I had no right to? I was disgusted with myself.

Ayesha curled up on my lap, sleeping peacefully as I sat at the kitchen table. Why wasn't I upstairs, I wondered? Why wasn't I curled up beside Erik, his arms around me, the way we always slept? Had things changed, simply because I had found out a few things about his past? Why couldn't I lie beside him?

Because you're afraid of him said a despicable little voice in my brain. I tried to ignore it but the thoughts kept coming. You're terrified of him, scared he'll hurt you, you want to run away

"No!" I cried out loud, without meaning to. Ayesha gave me an irritated look and stalked off to her basket. I sat at the table, hands on the edge, the wood digging into my palms.

He had loved her. He had loved Maralee. Maybe he still did. That's why he came here, to escape from her and Jon. It was pure accident that I had shown up. Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't, if I had just stayed living my comfortable little life, my nice safe boyfriend, taking care of Dad and our house.

The crack was widening. That crack that had been formed after that first fight. This new revelation was causing the crack to open up, letting dark, long-hidden secrets spill out.

And all I wanted to do was run. But that was the one thing I has promised I would not do. I would not run from Erik. It wasn't that I didn't love him, of course I did. I was just… afraid.

I must have fallen asleep at the table, because the next thing I knew Erik was shaking my arm.

"Christine?"

"Wha?" I mumbled, lifting my head slightly.

"It's morning. What are you doing down here?" he asked, confused. I blinked and yawned.

"I couldn't sleep…"

He started to make coffee as I went upstairs to dress. When I came down I made breakfast and we sat down to eat, Ayesha prowling under the table for dropped scraps. As we were washing up my mobile phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Hey, it's me."

"Hi Meg." I said, opening a cupboard and putting dishes away.

"Got a proposition for you."

"I don't like it when you say things like that." I warned her.

"You need to learn to trust me, sweetie. How do you fancy coming to London?"

I blinked and said,

"What?"

"London. I'm going to stay with my Dad and I want you to come. It'll be great."

"When?"

"I leave on Monday, come back Wednesday. I'll drive, so you can leave the bike there. What do you think?"

I think she's a miracle. I considered for a moment and then said,

"I'll call you back in ten minutes."

"OK. Got to discuss it with Erik?"

"Yeah. Call you soon."

I hung up and considered. Erik looked at me.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yeah. That was Meg. She's going to London, and she wants me to go with her. Monday til Wednesday."

"Are you going?" Erik asked, his eyes fixed on the dish he was drying. I hesitated.

"I don't know. Maybe. I'd like to."

Erik put the dish down and turned to me.

"Christine-"

"Erik, it's not like it's going to be for a long time." I pointed out.

"You should go."

Didn't see that one coming. I blinked at him.

"What?"

"You should go. You'll have fun." He said quietly. I sighed.

"Erik… I'm not running, OK? I'm just… I think we just need a little apart time, just to think everything over. Because what I found out yesterday was a lot of information to take in within the space of a few hours."

"I know. And I know you're not running." He said.

I closed the cupboard door and turned to him, guilt rushing through me.

"Erik…" he looked at me. I bit my lip and then whispered, "I love you. You do know that, right?"

"Yes. I know." He said. But he didn't kiss me, or reach for me. Instead he turned back to the dish he had been drying and started to wipe it.

On Monday morning, Meg came to get me. I turned to Erik in the entrance hall, my bag in my hands. For the whole of Sunday, we had been politely uncomfortable. I hated feeling so awkward around him. But now he smiled and kissed me.

"Have fun."

"I will. You'll be OK?"

"I believe I will manage for three days by myself." He said and I blushed slightly, going outside to meet Meg.

As we drove through the town, we passed the Lodge Hotel and I told Meg to pull over. She did so, but I didn't answer her questions. I grabbed a carrier bag and went into the reception, asking for Nadir. He came out a few minutes later and looked at me in surprise.

"Hello."

"Hi Nadir. OK, I've got run because I'm going to London for a couple of days and I was thinking, that you should go and talk to Erik."

He looked sceptical.

"I think he made it quite clear that I wasn't welcome."

"I think he may have changed his mind. And if he starts yelling, give him this." I said, thrusting the bag into his hands. Nadir looked down at it and peered. His eyebrows lifted and he gave me an odd look.

"Jaffa Cakes?"

"They're his favourites. I'm hoping you'll be able to sort of calm him down with those. Anyway, I've got to go." I said, grinning and turning back to the car. But before I did I turned to him.

"Actually… there's something you could do for me, before I go…"

As we drove down the motorway, Meg singing along cheerfully to the radio, I started to chew my nails again, wondering if I had done the right thing. Well, if I found Nadir strung up with a noose in the entrance hall when I got back, I'd just have to make sure I gave Erik extra Jaffa Cakes next time.

"You OK?" Meg's voice broke me out of my thoughts and I nodded.

"Yeah."

"You seem a bit… I don't know, thoughtful?" she commented, pulling into a different lane. I shrugged.

"It's nothing."

"What happened with Erik?"

I gave her a look.

"What have I told you about invading my brain?"

"Can't help it, you're like an open book. What happened?"

"I just… I dug up some stuff about the past that he didn't want me to and he was kinda upset about it. I think it's sort of settled now, but I'm a little glad we've got some time apart."

Meg gave me a sideways look before turning back to the road.

"Don't worry about it. We'll have fun. Dad's booked us into a hotel, his flat is tiny. We'd never all fit in, especially with Denise there as well."

"Denise?"

"Dad's girlfriend. She's OK. Anyway, we'll go sightseeing this afternoon. I have to spend tomorrow with Dad, if you can keep yourself busy. But on Wednesday we can do something before we drive back. That OK?"

"Sounds great." I agreed, settling happily back in my chair.

The hotel room was nice. Meg and I were sharing and we had fun running around finding all the gadgets and trying out all the free soaps and stuff before going sightseeing. London is so cool, it really is. We went around the Tower of London, walked past Buckingham Palace, went down the Thames on a tour boat and managed to get onto the London Eye before Denise and Mr Giry arrived to take us for dinner. Mr Giry hugged Meg and then smiled at me.

"Hello Christine. Meg got you both here in one piece then?" he said. I laughed.

"I had my doubts, but we managed to miss every other car."

"You guys do know that I'm still here, right?" Meg said flatly.

Denise was a cheerful, dark-haired woman of about 30. Mr Giry introduced us.

"Christine, this is my girlfriend, Denise. Christine is Meg's best friend."

"It's nice to meet you. We've booked a table in a restaurant around the corner, and if we don't leave now we'll be late!"

Once we were sat around the table, orders placed and drinks being served, Meg and her Dad started to talk happily. I was kept entertained by stories about nothing in particular, recounts of little things and I started to realise that this was what it was like to have a relatively normal relationship with your father.

"What about you, Christine? What are you up to these days?" Mr Giry asked. Meg started to laugh and I kicked her under the table.

"This and that. College, part time job, music lessons…"

"Sexy older man!" Meg put in.

"Meg!"

"Well, he is!"

"I'm telling James you called my boyfriend sexy." I warned her. She simply laughed and Denise asked, in interest,

"How much older?"

"Eight years. It's not that bad, there are people with bigger age gaps. But everyone is determined to turn it into a soap opera." I said, sticking my tongue out at Meg.

Mr Giry considered me for a moment,

"You don't find it hard to keep up a normal life, with an older boyfriend?"

"Not really. I spend so much time at his place anyway. I'm living there, and when I'm now with him, I'm either with Meg, doing homework or doing shopping. It's a simple existence and it works for me." I said simply, as our starters arrived. Thankfully the conversation turned to Meg after that, for which I was much relieved.

When Meg and I got back to the hotel that night, we went straight to bed. Both of us were exhausted. But as I lay in my bed, staring up at the dark ceiling I whispered,

"Meg?"

"Hmm?" she said, sleepily.

"What would you do, if someone you were very close to, turned out to be someone else and you weren't sure about this new person?"

"Christine?"

"Yes?" I said, looking over at her.

"Shut up."

I smiled slightly.

"OK. Good night."

"G'night." She mumbled, rolling over. I huddled into the duvet and closed my eyes.

It was a nice street. Pretty houses, tidy gardens, children running and playing. I glanced down at the address Nadir had given me and started to walk down the street, counting houses as I passed. No 42. I paused by the gate, doubt filling my mind. I shouldn't be here.

But I had to. I had to see her. I had to know why she had done what she did.

I pushed open the gate and went to the front door, straightening myself as I went. I had debated about what to wear. I wanted to make a good impression and had finally settled on a knee length denim skirt and a light sweater. Comfortable but not too much. No one answered when I knocked but as I was about to try again someone rounded the corner of the house.

A guy, about my age, maybe a little older. He was dressed in stained clothes, wiping his oily hands on a cloth. He looked me up and down and grinned.

"Please be here to see me." I smiled, a little embarrassed.

"I'm looking for Mrs Waters. Is this the right place?"

"Sure is. She's my stepmother. She'll be back any minute. I'm Darren." I shook his hand.

"Christine Daae."

We went inside, to the kitchen. It was the perfect family home, comfortably messy. A picture was hung on the wall of the kitchen and I examined it. Darren, an older couple and a younger boy, about thirteen or fourteen years old.

"That's Mum, Dad and Andrew, my brother. Well, I say Mum, but as I said, she's actually my stepmother." I turned back to the picture, sipping the drink Darren had handed me as I looked at the woman. She was smiling, soft dark hair and eyes the same colours as Erik's. I chewed my lip and Darren asked,

"So how do you know Mum?"

"I don't, yet. We've got… mutual friends." I settled for saying. Darren eyed me.

"OK. You from around here?"

"No, I'm just here for a couple of days with a friend. She's visiting her Dad and invited me along.

The front door opened and a cheerful voice called out Darren's name.

"In here, Mum!" Darren shouted. I turned quickly as Theresa Waters bustled in, carrying shopping bags, her youngest song following, chattering happily. She smiled brightly at us as she put the shopping down.

"Hello! A friend of Darren's?"

"Not exactly. She's here to see you." Darren said. Theresa looked at me in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yes. My name's Christine Daae." I said, shaking her hand. She smiled.

"Theresa Waters."

"I know. I mean… I'd like to talk to you about something." I said, a little awkwardly.

Theresa nodded.

"Alright. You can tell me whilst I put the shopping away. I don't want to seem rude, but my husband will be back in an hour and I need to cook dinner." She said, moving around. I swallowed hard and said,

"I want to talk to you about… about Erik."

She dropped the box she was holding and stared at me. Darren looked from one to the other of us. Andrew sensed that something was wrong and fell silent. Theresa blinked.

"What?"

"Erik Lavonne. I…" I faltered, reaching into my bag and pulling out a photograph of Erik. I had taken it at Christmas. Erik hadn't known I was taking it and was standing by the window in the music room, his face turned to speak to me. His eyes were soft and loving, a slight smile on his lips. I loved that photograph so much.

I passed it to Theresa and she looked at it. Her hand went to her mouth as her eyes started to water.

"How did… how did you know that I was here?" she asked in a whisper.

"Nadir Khan. I met him the other day, when he came to see Erik."

"I don't understand… how do you know Erik?" she said, bewildered.

"He's my partner. Boyfriend. We've been together for several months now." I explained.

Theresa sank onto the table, still clutching the photograph. I stood awkwardly, watching her. She looked at the photograph in disbelief and then at me.

"You really… you and him?"

"Yes."

"But… but his…"

"His face?" I whispered. She nodded. "I know. I've seen it. But I love him anyway."

"My god, I can't believe this."

"Mrs Waters, I don't know if I should have come. I just wanted to… to meet you. And find out what happened. Erik is very… secretive about his past. I know some of it, but he's never spoken about you. I just wanted to meet you."

"What is he like now?"

The question surprised me but I smiled.

"He's wonderful. When I first met him, he was… cold and lonely. But he's changed. He's kind, and warm, and… his music. Did you ever hear any of it?"

"A little. I never wanted to listen?"

"It's incredible. He's an amazing person, he really is. I love him so much." I whispered.

Darren leaned over to look at the photograph, clearly lost on the whole conversation. He glanced up at me.

"You're going out with that guy?"

"Yes."

"Oh… pity." He winked at me. My boyfriend's little brother, I realised. It was so… weird. Theresa glanced at him.

"Darren, I'd rather you weren't here."

"Mum, what's wrong? Who is this guy? Why are you so upset?" Darren asked, sitting beside her. I stood on the other side of the table. I picked up the photograph.

"I shouldn't have come."

"Wait! Christine, was it? You have to understand… my god, he was only fifteen when he left. I couldn't stand the sight of him. He was… well, you've seen him! I couldn't cope!"

I stared at her in disbelief.

"Wait… you hated him because of his face?"

"Not just that. When his father left, I was distraught. I didn't know what to do. Things just kept going downhill." Theresa said forcefully.

"And you blamed Erik for that?" I asked, "You blamed your son for your mistakes?"

"Son? What son?" Darren asked.

I ignored him. So did Theresa. She looked at me angrily.

"You don't understand! You weren't there; you didn't go through what I had to go through."

"All I know is you blamed all of your mistakes on a child who grew up thinking that no one loved him!" I said furiously. Theresa stood up and so did Darren. He stared at me.

"That guy is my brother?"

"Yes, he is! Maybe not by blood, but by family." I said. Theresa glared at me.

"What do you want with me?"

"I just wanted to know what happened in Erik's past. Why he won't tell me what happened to him. And now I know why."

I took the photograph and turned to leave. But Theresa put a hand on my shoulder.

"Does he even know you're here?"

"No. He doesn't." I said, shrugging her hand away.

"Why not? Why didn't you tell him you were coming?" she demanded. I simply looked at her.

"Because he's suffered enough. I love him more than anything in my life and I want to help him. But I wanted to find out what made him the way he is."

"Does he love you?"

I nodded.

"Yes. He does." Theresa didn't know what to say. She stared at me and then she looked down at the necklace I was wearing. Her eyes widened.

"Is that…?"

"Yes. It was yours. Erik gave it to me for my birthday. It's the only thing of yours he has. He treasured it for all these years." She touched the necklace gently and then turned away.

"I think it would be best if you left now." I swallowed hard and said,

"I'll leave."

As I walked down the front path, to the gate, I heard the door open and close behind me. I paused and saw Darren hurrying towards me.

"Listen, Christine… I don't know what just happened, but are you saying I've got an older brother I didn't know about?"

"Yes, I am. His name is Erik. He's twenty seven years old, a musician and the most wonderful person I've ever met. And that's all you can know, unless your mother chooses to give you more details." I told him.

With that I went through the gate and started the walk back to the hotel.

When I got back to my room, I dialled the number for the Manor. It took a few moments for Erik to pick up.

"Yes?"

"It's me."

"Christine." He sounded pleased. I smiled. "How's London?"

"It's OK. I just… I just missed you." I said quietly.

"I miss you too. Although it has only been twenty four hours."

"Seems like a lot more." I told him.

We spoke for a few minutes and then Erik said,

"By the way, Nadir called around earlier."

"Really?"

"Hmm. With Jaffa Cakes." He sounded slightly accusing.

"You like Jaffa Cakes."

"I know. But how, I wonder, did Nadir know that?"

"No idea." I said innocently. "So, did you guys talk?"

"Yes, we did. It was rather pleasant."

"Oh, great! I was hoping you'd be able to make up." I grinned.

Erik laughed.

"Well, I have to go." I said. "I'm meeting Meg soon. Is Ayesha OK?"

"She's fine. I am capable of taking care of myself and cat."

"Yeah, we'll see. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright. I love you."

"Love you too. Bye." I said. Once I'd hung up I smiled to myself.

We'd just needed a little space. I mean, we'd still have to talk properly when I got back. But for now… we were happy.

A/n: Not sure if I like this chapter very much. Although I did find the idea of Erik eating Jaffa Cakes very entertaining. What do you guys think? Urgh, next chapter may be a while, school work to catch up on. Stupid school work. Hate school. Lol, anyway…. PHANTOM IS OUT ON MONDAY! YAY!

OMG, I can't wait to see it again! I only got to see it twice at the cinema and I've been listening to the soundtrack constantly since it went out of the cinema. I mean, come on! I've waited so long for this and now it's finally here!

… Phantom makes Katie happy. Happy Katie writes. Reviews also make Katie happy.

Therefore Phantom + Reviews EXTREMELY Happy Katie.

EXTREMELY Happy Katie + Spare Time Many chapters and EC goodness.

OMG. I just checked my emails. I've had three of my POTO fics nominated for awards. I can't believe it! Thank you to the Phantom of the Opera Reader's Choice Awards and to whoever nominated me! OMG, this is unbelievable! Cold, Cold Heart, The Phantom of the Opera and A Defensive Situation have all been nominated!

This day just got a whole lot better!

Now, I may not be the best at maths, but I'm hoping you guys get my message! Lol, lotsa luv Katie.