A big thanks to AMRA for beta reading this chapter for me!

Chapter Eighteen

He returned very late that night. Hermione imagined that the candles would have been nearly burnt down to the wick, except that they were magical of course. She had tried everything to keep her mind from worrying, but even her books could not console her.

Coming through the painting, he did not take off his cloak, but grabbed hers and pushed it into her hands.

"We have to go, now," he ordered.

"But what happened?"

"I'll explain later, but now we need to get to headquarters," he told her, ushering her into the fireplace. They flooed to 12 Grimmauld Place to find Bill Weasley, asleep in a chair in the kitchen.

"You're supposed to be on guard, not sleeping," Severus snapped at him.

"Sorry," Bill replied sleepily. "What's going on?"

"We need to call an emergency meeting, can you handle that?"

"Yes, but it will take some time," Bill said more alert.

"How much time?" Severus asked sharply.

"An hour."

"We'll wait in the library," he said, taking Hermione's hand and leading her from the room. They climbed the stairs to the library; Bill's voice floated up from the kitchen, as he flooed the various Order members.

Once in the library, Hermione waited until he had taken off his cloak and sat down in one of the wide leather chairs before she asked him what had happened.

"The Dark Lord informed us tonight that he plans on attacking Hogwarts within the week," he told her grimly.

Her breath caught in her throat.

"What will we do?"

"We discussed this as a possibility long before now. The Headmaster will send the students home," he explained. "I instructed the Dark Lord how to get past the ancient charms and spells that guard the front gates. Potter is as ready as he will ever be. It will all be over soon."

She stared into the fire. The nightmare that had been their lives for the last few years would finally be decided in a few days. It would either be like waking from a terrible dream or a descent into an even worse one. She tried not to contemplate a future where Harry did not succeed in his task.

"What yet needs to be done?" she asked.

"Not much," he answered. "For my part, I will merely sit back and await the final outcome."

"So you still claim loyalty to either side?"

"I am loyal to myself," he stated simply. She nodded sadly.

"You could stay with me," he offered. "There is no need for you to risk your life."

"You know I can't do that. Harry is my friend. I will not abandon him when he needs me the most. And I will not sit back and let the same men who killed Ron Weasley, in cold blood, win this battle. That is not the world I want to live in, Severus."

"Where is it you want to live, then?" he asked derisively. "In a land where everyone loves everyone else—all hearts and flowers? This isn't a fairy tale, Hermione. You don't always get a happy ending."

"You're right," she said. "You don't always get a happy ending, but you'll never get one if you don't at least try."

"You're a fool, an idealist fool." He stood up from his chair and scowled down at her.

"Why? Because I'm willing to fight for the things I believe in, for the people I love and who love me?"

"Do they love you? How can you be sure that they just don't keep you around because you are useful? What do you really have in common with Potter anyway? He just needed you to finish his homework and invent creative excuses for when you were caught breaking the rules," he said bitterly.

She regarded him sadly. He had had so few friends in his life that he hardly recognized true friendship when it was offered. Dumbledore had told her that he didn't believe his offer of forgiveness and she began to be amazed that he accepted her in his life at all.

"Harry loves me; they all do…Professor Lupin, the Weasleys, McGonagall, and Dumbledore. And they love you too, if only you would let them," she pleaded.

"They tolerate me because I am useful to them, nothing more…nothing less."

"If that's what you believe then we have all failed you," she said sadly, a single tear making its way down her face.

She wished to tell him that she loved him, that she needed, no, wanted him by her side for the rest of her life; but she couldn't bring herself to say the words. In her insecurity, she had erected her own walls —hers were made of books and an encyclopedia of knowledge, while his consisted of sarcasm and perfectly aimed caustic comments. She couldn't face rejection from him, not like that.

"Hermione?" Harry stuck his head into the library.

"Oh," he said, disappointed to see her with Snape. "The meeting is starting."

"Just give me a moment Harry," she asked. His timing could not have been worse and his tone, when he had realized that she was with Snape, only seemed to solidify Severus's supposition that he was merely useful. Harry smiled wanly at her and shut the door.

"So, you'll go? You'll fight for their silly dream?" Severus asked snidely, motioning his hand toward the door Harry had just closed. She nodded her head, then reached up and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm fighting for you as well…for us," she whispered before turning to go, but he stopped her.

"I can protect you," he said, grasping her shoulders, "no matter the outcome."

"You can, but will you?" she countered. "What if being married to me compromises your safety in this new world order that You-Know-Who wants to create. I am after all both muggleborn and best friend to Harry Potter." He looked at her stunned. Silently, she reached up and kissed him softly on the lips, and then turned and left the room.

He was the master of manipulation, not her. She had tried everything to change his mind; she had appealed to his vanity, his intense dislike of James Potter, and to his instincts. She had tried to slip her opinion into lulls in the conversation and intimate moments when he was less guarded, but in the end, she had failed. She had failed him in every way that was important.

Slowly, she made her way down to the kitchen for the meeting. Severus joined them minutes later, making his report, and then sitting down. He sat on the far side of the room, facing away from Hermione.

Since they had married, they had always sat together, at first merely because they had arrived together but Hermione liked to think that lately it was more because he liked having her close. She knew that she liked sitting with him. Order meetings could often be tedious affairs and it was nice to have Severus by her side, occasionally whispering his opinions in her ear.

She forced herself to pay attention to the arrangements that were being made. The term was over in two days and it was decided that it would be safer to keep the students at Hogwarts, sending them home on the train like usual, rather than tip their hand to Voldemort. Hermione was to help McGonagall and Tonks in bolstering the protection charms around the four Common rooms. It may be the end of the year, but the students would not be enjoying the warm weather or their new-found freedom from classes. Instead, they would be locked in their dorms until it was time to go home or until the danger passed. The other Order members would move in; the Death Eaters would find an army of aurors and others waiting for them.

As Severus had said, it would all be over soon.

A/N: I know it's another evil cliff hanger but we're nearing the end and the tension is building towards the climax. With that in mind, I'm sorry to say I won't be able to update for at least two weeks because I'm getting ready to go on vacation, (I'm sorry for you, not for me...I'll be having fun in the south of Spain.) Don't forget to review. It would be wonderful to come home and find my inbox overflowing!