Thin as Rice Paper 4

By Nix Winter

Disclaimer: Don't own WK.

groups.yahoocom/group/nixfics/ my fics, possibly some original too

Youji set the beer on the counter, picked a red lighter from the box by the register, and pointed to a box of cigarettes. It must have been late, but he wasn't sure how late. The streets were empty of normal people.

Numb, all the walking had left him numb. About all he could think was that beer had calories. So it was okay to drink beer. He needed something in his stomach. At least until he saw Aya.

If his life had been a story, it'd have no plot. Walking again, it was then that he realized he might really be in trouble, but didn't realize he'd left his wallet on the store counter. He had the beer in a brown paper back, bunched up in his hand, the cigarettes in his pocket, but he didn't use either.

The more he walked the more red the district got. Women wrapped up in cellophane and dreams thrown away like cheap plastic wrap. Leaning against a light pole, Youji felt at home.

Not that he'd lived here in Tokyo then, back when he'd sorted out other people's life knots. He smirked at a Euroasian girl, more red on her lips than could be fit into Aya's hair. The smirk lifted into a smile. Red. Aya.

"Oh, you like what you see, Blondie?" she asked, leaning over a bit so he could clearly see the tiny curves half hidden by hot pink vinyl. "You want to play with these?"

"Not really, Honey," he said, before he could catch the words back. Since that blue cotton he hadn't turned a woman down. He'd given promises that he'd come back, misdirected, but never flat out turned one down. He'd been thinking about Aya, Aya red, Aya damned. "I'm a faggot."

She winked, a genuine smile on her face, making her look ten years younger and less like a pearl lollipop. "You don't look so good, gay boi. I done my number for the night already. You wanna walk me home?"

He took a deep breath, not really believing that she hadn't just pushed him into the street or something. Trust had always been one of his downfalls, really. "Sure."

Aya had had that trust from him the first time, the first day when Youji had carried him upstairs. She took his arm, and his mind went fuzzy, sparkling like a dropped mirror ball, with memories going in all directions. She held onto him, pulling at him, shirt twisting around him.

"Hey! Gay boi! What's wrong with you?" She held on him and he felt like he was going to float away.

Up or down didn't matter, nothing mattered, just beautiful blue violet eyes and that small smile. "I'm so stupid," he said, feeling unforgiving cement under his head.

"What's your name?" She asked, and he understood that tone, pegged her cleanly. She wasn't a sweet. She was a vice cop.

Then his mind wandered again, to the kiss that had pulled him out of the land of the dead, Aya's body up next to him. "Aya."

"Okay, Aya," she said, fingers on his wrist, cellphone blue glowing against her face as she called emergency services. "What are you on, Aya-kun?"

"I bought a beer," he said helpfully.

"Youji," Asuka's voice said, irritated. "You're such a dumb ass. Don't you think you should have talked to him before you collapsed? Don't you really think I love you even if you're gay? Why can't you forgive yourself? I love you, dumb ass."

"I'm a dumb ass," he said out loud, eyes closing for a moment. At least Aya wasn't going to see him like this. He'd won really. Who would have thought? Freedom. "I did try to eat today."

"When was the last time you ate, Aya?" And already there were sirens. She was good.

"I never got to eat him, but boy did I want to." Then he was standing up next to Asuka and she wasn't Neu, just Asuka. She threw her arms around him, and he felt her, felt the power of her arms and her love and the beating of her spirit heart.

"Asuka! I don't want to die! I want another chance!"

Aya

Ran felt the cold, sudden, hollowing him out and he closed his book. He pulled his glasses from his face. He'd long since stopped questioning his instincts. Youji.

"Yo."

He picked up the phone. "Ken."

"Hi. Aya?" Ken said, the sound of weights falling into place, metal on metal.

"Where is Kudou?"

"He went out. Why?"

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know. He hasn't been out in months though, and he's been looking thin and not so good. I thought it was good he was going out. That man needed to get laid. Fuck. I've been wondering if he's gay or something. What's going on?"

"Just a feeling. Does he have a cell phone?"

"Look, Aya," Ken said, resentment in his voice. "If you wanted to know those things, you should have hung around a bit more. Omi's been worried sick about him. Did you fuck over Youji?"

"Watch who you're speaking to, Hidaka."

"Right. You're the one with the sword," Ken snarled, "If it's any sooth to your soul, Omi's already checked the hospitals for him. No Kudou Youji's in the morgues or hospitals, so chill. He probably just went out and blew off some steam. What is it to you?"

'More than you'd know,' Ran thought. "He's been sick?"

"Aya," Ken sighed, "Are you really concerned? It's not the first time Youji-kun's been out all night."

Wistful? Ran wondered if Ken's feelings were moving towards jealousy. That wasn't something Ran could allow. "He's straight, Ken. That's very important to him. Or didn't you figure that out? Sometimes a person's values need to be respected."

"What the hell are you talking about? I'm not stupid, you know. I see him light up if someone with red hair comes in."

That hung between them, silence over the wires. "I'm going to find him."

"Good luck."

Then Ran hung up on him.

He would find Youji, but the dark emptiness echoed within him and he wondered if he'd made a mistake.